That paragraph is so full of manipulation I don't know where to start.
A little barter, I'll give you waht you want, even though I am the one that needs to apologize IF you give me what I want, and then you fucked up again...
If you want your husband you have to give up the swinging and threesomes. Period.
If I was your husband I'd be talking to a divorce attorney and do everything I could to get you out of my life.
It feels like you need to sow a few wild oats and you're not going to do that inside your marriage. Admit what you need and move on. Have the courage to fend for yourself, financially, and go play. Stop hurting your husband.
S