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Please don't. There is one woman in our group, not that old 40 maybe, who has a "loose pussy." She is one of my favorites to play with, especially getting sloppy seconds. It is work, a struggle for me to reach orgasm with her (I'm a slow cummer, somewhat deliberately), but when I get there I nearly lose consciousness. She is the only woman who makes me grunt and scream as I cum. If you want to do anything do those pelvic floor exercises, Klegals or whatever they're called. That feels greats for a guy when a woman can manipulate a guys dick with her vagina.

There was a couple my wife and I occasionally swing with that had trouble in their marriage. They were a good looking couple, in their late 30s, and they already had 3 kids, when we first starting swinging with them. At the time, my wife and I had no idea they were going through trouble, we just assumed they were just ordinary newbies. After 2 years of swinging with them, they actually opened up about their marital problems they had before, but now they're a happy couple again. Now, long story short about their marital problem was, the husband and wife weren't spending a lot of time together, the husband focused a lot of time in his work, the wife focused on their kids and work, vacation became rare for them, and their sex life was "meh". One very sad moment in their life was when it was their anniversary, and they did nothing to celebrate it at all. When they began swinging with me and my wife, they started spending more time together, like going out to dinner more, taking time off work more to be with family, or even just going on a hike together as a couple. And of course, they even told us that their sex life gotten way better since they started swinging with us. Now, would y'all be surprised if y'all accidentally saved a marriage through swinging? Because my wife and I were pretty surprised, but very happy for them.

They do both.... I happen to find both the male penis and the female clit/labia extremely attractive. I guess I like the penis partly because i have one and have enjoyed it for many many years. I love to suck a cock to completion as it's kind of a challenge. And I can't suck my own. If I could I seldom leave the house. I love to suck a woman as well. Love the scent, the folds and the juices that flow. Nothing better that giving another person, male or female pleasure.

I have been called a Cum Slut in derogatory ways which I take as a badge. Some men ask, some men withdraw, I rather they just let it go. The least messy if I’m sucking is let me swallow. I always wonder why a man wants to pull out and use his hand just to cum on my face or body.

Most guys get social pressure not to get serious about a woman who is a slut. Believe me, from personal experience and talking with other middle aged guys, you'd rather have a wife who likes sex too much, more than you can provide and needs to step out once in a while, than a wife who has little or no interest in sex.

My guys do it - David willingly, Red reluctantly. Other men we've played with too; it's not unusual if a woman demands it for an O after p-in-v. We women are all bi, so going down on a creampie (how descriptive!) satisfies both sides of our sexuality. We women all (Lora, Clair and me in our family, and play partner Shannon too) do this as well. I'm especially eager, I love to taste her on his dick. The guys don'tsuck dick, never. Oral as foreplay is common, but relatively short before the dick goes in. Oral as postplay is almost a must, particularly for the girls wanting a slow work up to another O.

njbm, I don’t think that’s generally the case. Another member of this board and I each (we figured out later) sometimes attended a regularly-scheduled hotel-suite party in central Florida. At the end of the pre-party social hour everyone took a seat and the hostess went around the room asking people to introduce themselves (first name only) and describe what they wanted to do that evening. I can only recall one man who described himself as bi. But there were a fair number who described themselves as bi-curious or heteroflexible. I don’t think it was a differentiator as to whether they engaged in anal, top or bottom. In my opinion the choice of bin or bi-curious was more an indicator of how comfortable they were with their sexuality.

My physical beauty lol. I can’t say blowing your gasket too soon is a good thing, it’s also not a terrible thing. I want to please my partners, I feel that if they don’t blow their gasket I am doing something wrong. How many partners have I just had oral sex with where their pleasure was my pleasure. I will never know what a partner is thinking, if it’s something other than me I won’t take it as a negative, it’s a partner still thinking about my pleasure if they are trying to delay their own.

Just like size the duration by the men posting are extraordinary. I most likely have the least experience so I can only comment on the men I had sex with. I am guessing the men last under 10 minutes. Now I had to Google what science says, 5-7 minutes and that sounds right. Thinking about the 10 inch guys who go over a half hour I say I’m happy I haven’t met you. With foreplay I can cum from oral before penetration and again during sex, sometimes more than once. With toys I orgasm quickly depending on what I’m doing. I’ve only had multiple partners a few times.

In our closed group of seven married couples, we feel confident that our circle is closed for several reasons. We are very serious and all agree that if someone went outside the group, the consequences would be harsh, even illegally harsh. If you want to play outside the group that's ok, but you need to say so and leave the group. Coming back would be the same as joining, testing, testing and monogamy for a while. Second, we believe that cheating on the group is less likely to occur that a vanilla couple cheating because everyone is getting all the sex and sexual variety that they can handle.

About 18 years ago, the first time I played with a particular couple (who I’m still friends with) I came to their house. They arranged their guest very nicely for the occasion and she was dressed provocatively. We were making small talk and the husband asked if I wanted him to put on some porn. I politely declined, but in my head I was thinking "In a few minutes I’m going to have my cock in your wife’s pussy up to my balls. I really don’t need to watch video sex when she’s sitting next to me." (She was great and I enjoyed having her husband watch us.)

To me, this is very selfish and would be a deal-breaker. He is immature, greedy, and controlling. The most important part of being in a relationship and in the lifestyle is taking pleasure and satisfaction in your loved one's sexual play and fun. He's doing the exact opposite. My advice? Dump him and use the contacts you've made in the lifestyle to keep looking for someone who is generous. There is a guy who will appreciate you and be a good partner for your sexual and life journey.

With the couples who we swing with some we started as sex partners and became friends, some started as friends and became play partners and with a few we have developed romantic feelings and become lovers. So many in the lifestyle avoid that final step but my wife and I have reveled in it. We both have joyously return home, or been returned to, after a deeply intimate, loving time with another. It takes marriage to a whole other level.

I thought bisexual meant being romantically attracted to both sexes, I was corrected, it is sexually attracted too. When Alan asked me to have sex with another woman so he could watch I said no, I’m not gay. He knew I had sex with females before we met and just wanted to watch. Many women we met claimed they were straight and curious, some very emphatic they weren’t bi. I always assured them I wasn’t bi either. If you need to label me in the strict sense go ahead. I hate labels. The first woman Alan and I met is attractive young woman that we both enjoyed sexually. The ultimate act two women do sexually is oral sex. She was very willing with her overbearing boyfriend urging her. I need to be attracted to a person before being sexually attracted to them, romance is not part of the attraction.

Three remarks. 1. The success of such "vanilla life" events for the swinger community should be noted. Lifestyle cruises are mostly vanilla experiences in the company of like-minded people. There is clearly a market for ordinary experiences in extraordinary company. 2. Swingers like being in the company of other swingers for many reasons. Part of it is authenticity and candor. Part of it is that LS people are generally happy. Part of it is the fantasy of imagining being with this or that couple in some other setting, typically with fewer clothes and rather more horizontal. 3. Such vanilla events for non-vanilla people are, as the OP so nicely illustrates, low risk and high reward. The risk is the time. There is the possibility that there will be no follow-up. The reward is that there might be a "why don't we get together for drinks or dinner?"--along with the benefit of not having to guess whether their pictures or profile match the people who will actually show up.

We both have. I love women as much as men now. My husband loves women but totally enjoys sucking cock with me and getting fucked. My favorite and his, position is the both of us side by side spot roasted. We love seeing each other sucking and getting fucked so we will switch directions to watch the other at the same time taking it each way. He loves when I take it anally at the same time as he does as well. When anyone asks him if he is bi, he no longer hesitates and if they ask him what he prefers he always tells them about what he prefers with me, other women, and then the guys. We've had young wives ask him about the bisex and his description is so amazing you can see the ladies toes curl, breasts become alert, legs together, eyes batting, face and neck flushing, and squirming - lol. We have several waiting to get into our group I believe due to him. He definitely identifies as bi but does not seek out bi men, is not attracted to men, but is attracted to couples, if that makes sense. I am agree with him, it's about the couple not either or.

I separate swinging and swapping. Swinging is sex for sex without attachment of enjoying being with a partner. Swinging is detached sex. Swapping is much more intimate sex. There are those who will take exception when I say swapping is making love with your partner. I’ve been told love is not a healthy function of the lifestyle, I disagree. I enjoy making love which is not the same as being in love. Alone with a partner is not rushed sex, it is touching and kissing and even talking without any outside pressure.

Good to know someone who had an intense religious experience when young.

In our group it happens. Some like it and seek it out more than others. I'm in the camp that's willing to do it if a woman, including my wife, wants it but I don't seek out slurping other guy's cum. As said above, it's more a girl thing.

There is a confluence of reasons for my obsession. I started masturbating young, pre-puberty, hard, often, both vaginally and clitorally. As puberty hit, I thought about boys, especially while masturbating. Then it was all tied together in sex ed, which in Catholic school was called Family Health. No dicks, no pussies (certainly no clits), but uteri, fallopian tubes, ovaries, eggs; testicles, vas deferens, sperm. So for me, the foundation of sex is biological. Microscopic biological. And a man’s testicles. I had some very intense masturbation sessions after school when I got home from those classes.

you are correct about the swimmers, they live 3-5 days in me, I checked Google. Now I don’t feel anything moving in me but I see you enjoy knowing there is. I wonder if my husbands fishies are playing well with our friend’s.

Bob, This is a forum for discussing LifeStyle topics - NOT a pickup place. Have you tried SLS, Kasadie or SDC - those are the places you'll find other swingers. Yes, you'll have to pay.

Unfortunately I’ve gone over a week without ejaculating then I just had to yank one out.

Been there. Hilltop on Arizona. While we were deep in the moment a helicopter started circling overhead. Didn't stop us, kinda felt sorry for the jealous suckers stuck in the air.

My Ex encouraged me to be with his friend all the time. There wasn’t any jealousy when I told him I enjoyed being with that friend. My time and many nights were filled with more than sex, we had laughs and so much fun. It was never who was better, he knew I had all the fun that it was supposed to be. Our problem started when we figured my Ex was away when I became pregnant. At first it was denial until reality was figured out. Sex usually happens pretty quickly, if not the first date or second by the third it’s expected or wanted. My friend was funny when she offered to be there if it comes to the point where I open up to a New Romantic relationship. She volunteered to be part of his first threesome sight unseen. Wouldn’t be funny if it wasn’t his first? My Ex used those words in our divorce. The words still ring in my head. I am working on exorcising the hurting words.

Bob, I can understand that you'd like to swing with another woman. Are you dating? If so, then you know the trepidation that comes with asking a woman, "Are you interested in sex with others." Since we in ENM are just a fraction of the population, just bumping into such a woman is way against the odds. And being a single man is no picnic. You've got a leg up, I think, in that you'd be empathetic to what the other woman is thinking. But you'd still got to find such a woman (or a couple,) and get through the competition. Would it be possible for you to look up the partners of your past, explain that your wife is no longer with you, and ask if they have any contacts that might want to meet you? You might also wind up getting invited into threesomes, or house parties or such where you can meet eligible women. Good luck.

Michelin star restaurants don't have The Food Network playing on a TV to prepare their guests for the meal.

AdamGunn2 said: "My question would be, "How can you be sure it's closed?" That is the same as in a marriage only with more dimensions.

It's pretty safe to ditch condoms if you are only playing with very few (like 2 to 3) partners in a closed circle. My circle consists only of 2 widows in their 60s and an elderly couple, all of whom I play with separately. As the other man has lost much of his libido and has erection problems, he doesn't always enter his wife in every encounter and whenever he does so, his thrusting is shallow and he doesn't last long and seldom cum. So I am basically the guy who does the bulk of the penetrations, thrusting and cumming. The thing about women who have passed their fertile age is that they tend to prefer bareback sex and creampies. I guess this is the norm for them when they have sex with their husbands, so they just continue doing so in their later years.

When Sandra Day O'Connor retired from the Supreme Court, the primary reason was that her husband was suffering from mental decline and was in a care facility - where he had struck up a sexual relationship with another resident who was also suffering from senility, for lack of a better word. An article I read around that time, in Slate I believe, said that such a thing was not all that uncommon among institutionalized old people. The article went through all the moral, legal, and ethical issues of such people who do not recognize their decades-long spouses, but are having a torrid affair with new acquaintance. Some try to stop it, some say let them live their last years having this fun. Overall, though it was sad, it reinforced how strong our sexual needs are. I commend Justice O'Connor for responding with love instead of anger or drama. I don't look forward to getting old, but I do look forward to continuing to having sex, straight and Lesbian.

Did you birth children vaginally? I had two come out the way they went in and I worried about being stretched out. All signs are that I snapped back ok, no complaints, guys cum ok, two fingers in from Clair or Lora feels just as good to me.

We generally swing with a group of 3 to 4 couples, and even though we're all seasoned swingers some folks find porn offensive so music it is. Even when it's a mfm at home it's still music. We sort of feel like if there are actual naked bodies within reach then nobody should be paying attention to porn anyway.

A great observation. I had nearly a decade of playing with and experiencing penises in my mouth, bum, and pussy, and not having any Lesbian desires. And two years of living in an MFM situation before David started playing with other women. The women who let me participate in those MF encounters brought out my curiosity about and ultimately love of women and pussy. I am indebted to them (Clair) for that self-discovery and journey.

I figure that is a joke about a candidate making a comment. The truth is most women never saw or touched another woman down there. What I didn’t realize when we first started meeting others is that women have a better knowledge of seeing penises, all the women have seen, played and had in their mouth some or many men. Almost all have tasted a man and his ejaculate having no knowledge how other women taste. We all know our own bodies, our own anatomy, our own vaginas, never seeing any other vagina close. Men see other men in locker rooms, not up close but they can see what’s hanging. I don’t say I’ll grab yours, I do ask do you want to touch mine or do you want me to touch you first. I figure the woman never saw a vagina other than her own, I offer an up close examination. When age is a factor I know my own anatomy changed over the years. I don’t want to scare a much younger woman seeing a vagina that way.

As a woman I am turned on having sex with another man’s wife. My husband gets turned on too just watching me with another woman.

If that's what you saw, I question how clear your view was.

Funny that after answering our 10 year preference we were contacted by a couple 15 years younger than me. How they got our email is more surprising. Several years ago we met their friends that contacted us through a swingers site who were looking for a first for the wife. What I’m reading they met on that same site and the ones we met gave us as a referral for a First. A nice compliment out of nowhere. Alan has been corresponding with the new couple who he thinks are more than 15 years younger. Two negatives are they are young and they sent a nude picture without us asking. Not a sex picture, just naked. We stopped meeting newbies last year and have a smaller group we enjoy. I’m not fully sure why we were chosen. Alan said the couple they contacted were not confident in being in the first for her and that I handled their first so well. I think the nude photo worked on Alan. What man doesn’t enjoy younger women? My question is why do younger people want us, they know our age. Alan isn’t wrong when he says we should enjoy, there isn’t anything wrong meeting them.

You sound like a very good man. A very selfless man. Mine seems to only want this if he's doing it too...which to an extent I understand...but this journey is teaching me a lot about myself and my boundaries. Who knows if we'll ever play at this rate. I don't think my husband has this kind of selflessness in him to actually allow me to grow comfortable by playing first...to see that is all going to be okay. But your love for your wife is beautiful.

In my limited experience, I would say that around a quarter of women are to some degree bisexual, and half of them are full-on pussy eaters. That comes from the time when I was setting up my husband David with my female friends and acquaintances. That's how we met Clair and Lora. In our family, Clair started her sex life as exclusively Lesbian, until she decided that she liked men and dick shortly before playing with David. Lora was more straight, but had sex with girls in college. Both of these women were part of the one-quarter who let me watch them with David, which turned me on to wanting to eat and reclaim his cum out of her. I liked it.

This statement is extremely profound! My nonswinging friends are in the other boat as many men who are husbands know. Their wives are indifferent about sex and that is the worst. Even after pleading with them to hear their husbands, to hear the sex therapists, to hear the sex advice shouted practically everywhere, to hear me, they often brush it off as if to say, "My man is a good man, he will never leave me/us (the kids/family), he is happy, we schedule sex once ever few months (but seldom/if ever follow through), he loves me & us, we are comfortable." See how sad indifference is? They have their heads so far, well you understand, they can't see because of it. Our couples are wonderful examples of - you'd rather have a wife that likes sex to much - as we wives embrace frequent bi sex with multiple trusted friends the increase of sex has been multiplied in each of our marriages. For me, the more sex we have the more I want with my husband, as well as with our friends.

My wife is in love with another couple that we play with. She sees them/him often and they exchange "I love you," in front of me. It doesn't bother me at all. Daniela is married to me, we share a home and child together and after whatever she does with him/them, she comes home to me. It also gives me a sense of pride and security that another man (and his wife) loves her and he doesn't just see Daniela as another pussy to fuck and push aside. Most importantly, other people loving her so deeply is the best insurance if anything should happen to me. Yeah, I have life insurance but there are other people who have "feelings" for my wife as well.

We were concerned about disease, and both of us religiously required condoms for PIV intercourse. But because it seemed the risk of disease transmission for oral sex was less common, we made the decision to accept the very small risk, and didn't use any protection for oral, either way. Neither of us ever contacted any detectable STI. Of course, my investigation into oral sex risk is dated - at least a decade old - so you might wish to do your own research.

I might be wrong, but I *believe* it’s frowned upon and that 99% don’t use them. And a condom on the other male addresses only half of the equation … what about your male going down on the other female? Are you going to insist on using something such as a dental dam? Pretty much 100% of women are going to ask what’s the point of giving them oral at all in that case.

Friends of ours in Florida are generous enough to organize these types of events. Last winter, we attended a dinner out with about 30 people. They hosted a hotel takeover, but we were still up north. They post these events on SDC, which is popular in Florida. We prefer to meet at vanilla events, rather than sex clubs where you get down and dirty right away with strangers. We like to meet, get to know what makes people tick first.

I explored more. During the lockdown we talked about what are we going to do being together 24/7. I can’t remember what brought up swinging it was Rocky started searching swinger sites I think. He found a couple where the woman was bi and asked me if I could do it. What I remember was sex with no kissing because of Covid. Rocky and I were excited to do this, secretly I was scared like hell. Looking back I don’t know how I did it but I am happy I did. Why not?

With 15 years as swingers, my wife never sought out girl/girl play. A few - very few! - times a woman would approach her and Mary would let her kiss or perform oral on her. But she never ate a woman out, or started a F/F situation. Many times she would tell the other woman she wasn't interested, one time when the woman wouldn't back away Mary got a little aggressive with her. It never hurt our swinger encounters. The rule of swinging is the same as that for drinking wine: If you don't like what you're drinking, don't drink it. If you like what you're drinking, drink more of it.

Swinger couples often have good decision making ability. Deciding when and with whom to play requires executive decision making skills.

We have a 13 year age difference in our relationship so the age thing doesn’t really matter a whole lot! Saying that she has no interest in people her parents age and I have no interest in people the age of my adult daughters. Ideally somewhere between our ages is usually ideal, but would really depend on the person. I always find it funny when people assume older people can’t relate to younger people and will have nothing in common. I guess I am to believe once you hit a certain age you become out of touch with what is going on in the world and no longer are willing to learn something new. I also find the comments about stamina being equal funny. At 53 I have better stamina and am in better shape then loads of people I meet in their 30’s. How a person eats, exercises and takes care of themselves makes a bigger difference on that then the age they are.

Several years ago, I attended a party in the Inland Empire, billed as a bisexual party. I didn't have any bisexual shenanigans but I met a lovely gal about 70. I was about 55. We had a wonderful time, starting out the night together. drifting apart for a while, the reconnecting at the end of the night. I insisted on a condom for the first encounter, then we went bareback for the end. She was a prize and came easily, and really turned me on as well.

Experience has taught me the same! But when you're young and possessive pride can get in the way of a good thing. If your woman likes to fuck that makes you a lucky man! Give her the freedom to explore and you will be repaid countless times over!