Tepid Couple

My wife and I are 42, married 19 years. We are not in the lifestyle. She has 1 rule... No anal. Otherwise she is game for whatever I come up with. Not much else is off limits. Toys, Role play, sex swing, BDSM, simulated MFM/Gangbangs, sex machine, etc. 
 
Although we have done some pretty involved and creative role play/simulations... she says she can't imagine doing the above with others for real. If I'm honest, the reality would be a big step for me as well. Yet, I tell her I'm not opposed either.
 
I have found that my fetish is whatever makes her aroused in new ways. I love the nuances of her sounds and how her body responds to a new sensation. 
 
She says she is perfectly happy with our dynamic. I create the scene and surprise her. I even find myself sounding silly for writing this as if it were a problem. 
 
We are tremendously transparent, collaborative and vocal about every aspect of our lives. But when it comes to discussing fantasies, likes/dislikes, collaborating on role play, etc... my wife shuts down or becomes flippant or gets a "how soon can we get this talk over with?" type vibe. She will say,"I just don't have anything to say." 
 
I don't press her to share more than she wants and there are probably way more layers than can be addressed here. 
 
So I suppose my question is...
 
Are there couples that have experienced a similar dynamic in their journey and how/in what ways were they able to be more expressive?
 

I'm starting this thread in response to one in the curious section where the author felt a little bad because his wife wasn't sharing all her fantasies with him. He said he knows they are not ready for swinging, in part, because of this.
 
Well, here I am, swinging with my husband for 3 years, and it's gone very well. But, I still have a private fantasy place I go to (in my mind). I tell my husband things I want to try, we talk all the time about what we like about swinging sex and our sex. But, when he watches me touch myself and then says, "What were you thinking about?" I won't tell him.
 
I don't lie, sometimes I tell him generalities. It's not about a specific person or people, it's not anything that really could or would happen in real life. It's not anything I want to try, I just find it hot to think about. But, I would be embarrassed to tell anyone, and it would make it less hot for me if he knew about it. In a way, I like not telling him, I like having a little corner of my mind that's all mine. On the other hand I feel a little guilty, because it's really not a big deal and he would like me to tell him these fantasies in great detail and would probably find them hot, too.
 
But, believe me, I have told him (and many of you also) all kinds of silly fantasies, because I have a ton!
 
What do you think? Do you tell your spouse everything you think about to get off?

I happened across this study today, and it had some very interesting outcomes. The whole study bears reading. To tease you into reading it; "When asked whether they’d ever had various types of multipartner fantasies, just 5% of men and 13% of women had never done so" I.e., 95% of men and 87% of women in the 4k+ member study reported having fantasized about multipartner sexual relations. Wow! I expected it to be above 50%, but not that high.
 
More reading at: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/justin-lehmiller-science-of-fantasy

Okay the question is what is your number one sexual thought? The one act or thing that is sexual you find yourself thinking about the most? Yes I know everyone with a healthy sex drive thinks about a whole lot of sexual things through out the day, but is there one thing that seems to dominate those thoughts?
 
Maybe it is giving or receiving oral, anal sex, tit sex, making out, some fetish, a position, Dom/sub thing, threesome, foursome or moresome, good old P in the V or whatever it might be for you!
 
Also if you have a partner what is theirs if you know?