Change the Date

We both had graduated from college and Sue saw an ad from a local modeling agency looking for male and female models.  She set up an interview and was hired. 
 
Her first modeling assignment was a "fashion show" for Fredericks of Hollywood clothing.  This was similar to what she had done once in college so she decided to do it again. 
 
The fashion show was in the next town and was at a person's home.  When we both got there we were greeted by the hostess from the modeling agency, and about a dozen men.  The event was uneventful as she modeled every outfit, saving the last which was a light yellow teddy with "open cups" exposing her breasts and crotchless bottoms exposing her pussy which ever since our trip to Mexico with Dan, she kept clean shaven.
 
We got married soon after.  Sue and I both found jobs at the same high tech company and after a few months the Director of Sue's department called her in his office.  He told her he didn't want to cross any lines but needed to ask if she ever did any modeling because he had been to a house that had a lingerie fashion show and she looked like the model.  Sue was a bit embarrassed and admitted that it was her. 
 
At this particular time I was under a lot of stress with my work and hadn't been up for as much sex as Sue wanted...and it became an issue of me trying to explain that it had nothing to do with her and that I still found her very attractive. This went on for a couple of months.  Eventually she told me that she felt the Director that mentioned the fashion show was starting to flirt a bit.  They had sat together a few times in the cafe for lunch and he was starting to make some suggestive comments.  I told her that if she wanted to she could encourage it and see where it took them as it would also  take some pressure off of me. 
 
Within a week Sue came home from work and said that the Director (John) called her in his office and shut the door.  He started with, "I want to be very careful of what I'm going to say because I don't want to lose my job if I offend you about something." 
 
Sue interrupted him and said,  "I know what you are talking about.  We've been having discussions that probably cross the line, and we are both guilty of that.  So say what you want to say, and I won't be offended." 
 
John then told her that she's been driving him crazy and that he constantly thinks about her.  He also said, "Even right now with you in my office I want to bend you over my desk and have sex with you." 
 
Sue then looked at him and said, "John, I've known we were heading to this based upon our conversations, and I didn't want to stop it.  Obviously, we can't do anything in your office, but all you need to do is invite me to your house."   And then she said, "And to be honest about it, my husband knows and is ok with it." 
 
John was a divorced man so he lived alone and didn't have to worry about sneaking around.  And with that, Sue came home after work and told me that that Friday she would be leaving work right at 5 pm and going to John's house.
 
I made arrangements with my best friend to go out to a sports bar for the night, to help me keep my mind off things to help the time go by quicker.  I got home at 10 p.m. wondering if Sue would be home.....and I waited and watched as the clock hit 11 p.m., midnight, and then I finally called her at 12:30 in the morning and she answered her  phone stating she was on her way and would be home by 1 a.m.  John lived 25 minutes in the other direction from work so he lived about one hour from our house. 
 
As soon as Sue got home she looked at me and all she said was "I don't care how tired  you are, you need to take me to bed to re-claim me."  I asked her how it went and she said she'd tell me when we got to bed.  I was surprised she spent so much time with him.  Apparently John came inside her three times, telling her that he "was inspired" by her.  Sue told me that even after cumming in her, that he'd leave his cock in her pussy because he wanted to take advantage of every minute he had with her.  And they would either spoon after cumming or they would be facing each other with his cock still in her and they'd just talk....and they did that all three times he came. 
 
The next morning was Saturday and it looked like she was getting dressed for work.  I asked her what she was doing and she said she had to go back into work as they were working on a major project with pressing deadlines.  For the 1st time in all these years of being open minded it really bothered me knowing she would be with him again after just getting fucked by him about 10 hours earlier.  I didn't like it because I felt their relationship was getting more "personal", rather than just about the sex. Little did I know what would happen later. 
 
About 2-3 years later we were in our bedroom getting ready to call it a night and Sue looked up at me and said, "I have to tell you something and I'm worried about you getting mad but I can't live like this, keeping a secret from you."  I asked her what she was talking about and I never even thought of John being brought up.  She then proceeded to tell me that after that first night with John that she saw him a couple more times.  That three times she went to his house when she told me she was going shopping and that one time he was out sick and he had called her at work, and that during lunch she went to his house to visit him because when he called her he jokingly said, "I'm in the mood for a blowjob right now, can you come over at lunch time"...and that's what she did. 
 
I went silent when she told me this and all I said was, "leave the room, I need time to think through this."  I didn't speak to her that night and didn't respond to her trying to bring up conversation for the next couple of days.  Finally she came to me and said, "All right, I understand you're angry but can you please speak to me.  I don't know what I can do other than keep apologizing to you."  She said that she would be willing to do "anything to earn back your trust." 
 
I looked at her and told her that she was right about me being angry and that I felt betrayed and I didn't know how long it would take me to get over that feeling.  I also told her that I couldn't get it out of my mind that she had made arrangements with another man, to fuck him, and she kept it from me.  We had always been open with each other about this.  I mentioned how hurt I was by the deceit rather than the physical act of having sex and developing a friendship with John but that at the same time I felt myself being turned on by it. 
 
I then asked her if she was serious about doing "anything" to earn back my trust?  She said "yes", and I said, "you might not like what I'm about to say." She said it didn't matter if she liked it or not, she just wanted to earn back my trust.  I proceeded to tell her that I would be going on Adult Friend Finder and that I would find a guy that she would have to start fucking. 
 
So I eventually found another person named John and met up with him.  He was a divorced guy who owned his own small construction company that included two different crews.  They would build homes, and do high end renovations.  He lived alone, and his schedule was fairly flexible.  All John asked of me was to bring pictures of Sue as I told him I needed to meet him alone first as I knew the type of guy Sue would be interested in. 
 
I told Sue what I was doing.  She said she understood.  I told her I needed to take a few pictures of her in fairness to John to see if he would be interested.  Sue again understood. 
 
I met with John and he was absolutely interested in Sue based upon the pictures and I could tell he had a personality that would go well with Sue's.  When I came home after meeting John I told Sue about meeting John and felt that he would work out well.  I also told Sue, that if things went well after the three of us getting together the first time that "earning my trust" would require a longer term Friends with Benefits situation, until I got the previous situation out of my system  Again, Sue said she understood.  
 
We met at John's house and got pizza delivered to help start the relationship and eventually I just said, "Are both of you comfortable"?  They both said yes, and with that John took Sue into his bedroom and they fucked each other.  When they were done, they both came out of the bedroom fully dressed.  I then told Sue to take off her shirt and pants as I wanted her to just be standing in front of John and me with her sheer green bra and matching sheer green panties.  She gave me this look, and I just shrugged and said, "you know why." 
 
She did what she was asked and we visited for about another 20 minutes, giving John the opportunity to stare at Sue's totally sheer bra, still exposing her tits and nipples the entire time...and left for home.  On the drive, Sue did say that John was a very friendly person.  I told her that John and I would be talking the next day to get his feelings but that she needed to be prepared for anything because of her prior indiscretion with the previous John.  All she replied with was "OK, I understand."
 
John and I had our conversation and he said the night couldn't have gone better and that he was very attracted to Sue, and that he also just had a very good feeling of a relationship between the three of us.  I told him I agreed. 
 
When I got home, Sue asked how my conversation with John went.  I told her that he was attracted to her and he enjoyed the sex with her.  I asked Sue if she would be upset if I told her that he was the one I was going to pick for her to start fucking on a regular basis and she said if that is what she needed to do to regain trust that she could do it as she also felt they were compatible in bed, and she also liked the conversation the three of us had and felt we all could be friends. 
 
But Sue didn't know what would be happening next.  I told Sue that John and I discussed how "moving forward" would look like and that we both were in agreement.  I then gave Sue John's phone number and told her he was expecting her call.  That from now on the two of them would communicate with each other but Sue, unlike with the previous John, needed to tell me every time she and John would be getting together. Again, Sue understood and said she promised to be totally honest with me about anything to do with John and she was willing to do whatever I wanted her to do, given what had previously happened. 
 
I then looked at Sue and told her to call John, and I wanted her to be "forward" with him on the phone and that she first needed to ask him if he felt comfortable after meeting the two of us (I already knew how he was going to answer).  I then instructed Sue to specifically say on the phone that she was "also very comfortable both in conversation, as well as being in bed with him."  Sue then stated, at my request, "I'm interested in seeing you on a regular basis if you are.  And if you can commit to not dating any women on the side, I'll commit to having sex with you, pretty much whenever you want.  And, one more thing, if you are ok with it, I'd rather you no longer wear a condom." 
 
And that started what turned out to be about a 15 year relationship where we are all still friends today. About two months after they started seeing each other, John called me and asked about the possibility of Sue working for him part time.  He was thinking about her going to his house two days a week, just half days.  One day would be to work on calling back customers who call to set up an appointment with him, and another half day to take care of sending out the bills, and making bill payments to suppliers, etc. 
 
I had an idea pop into my head because I was still of the mindset of "punishing" Sue for cheating on me earlier.  John really liked my idea and now I was going to tell Sue.  When I told Sue what John had asked and what he and I decided she initially thought it was asking too much...but I reminded her about how hurtful her cheating had been and that I really needed her to do this. 
 
Sue was a teacher and was about to have almost three full months off.  I told her that John would be paying her to work part time out of his house for two days a week.  She needed to be at his house around 7:30 in the morning to review his schedule so she could set up appointments for him to meet with people calling asking for a quote of construction work, and then on the second day she would handle all the billing that needed to be either paid, or invoiced. 
 
She looked at me perplexed as if to say, "Ok, what's the big deal?" I then told her that EVERY day she went to his house to work that she was not allowed to wear a bra, and had to wear a top that was revealing either because of sheerness or being low cut. 
 
After her saying, "Are your serious?", I responded, "You are damn right I'm serious, and frankly it's all because you were fucking the other John without telling me.  Now I'll know for the next three months what you'll be doing, and the plan is that you and John will be fucking each other each day, and sometimes 2X a day (when you first get there, and when he comes home for lunch). 
 
She said, "Ok, I get it, but I hope this is coming to the end of it."  I then had her call John and had her say the following to him, "I hear  you have a job opening for me, can you confirm the dress code and expectations that I just heard from my husband."  She listened to his response and said "When do you want me to start?.  And for the next three months she arrived at John's house, always with a sweater on in case she got stopped by a police officer or if something weird happened on her way "to work." And the first thing she did when she got in the house was take her sweater off. 
 
The very first time she was to go to work she came downstairs and took her sweater off and said, "Does this meet  your approval?"  She was obviously braless, wearing a thin, low cut tank top with low arm holes exposing plenty of side boob, and you could make out the color of her nipples through the top.  I told Sue I couldn't have picked out better work attire and then she went to work. 
 
During the three months doing this I had to go on a business trip for a few days so I called John and told him to call Sue and ask her out to dinner and make plans to spend some time at his house.  I also told John I wanted "photo proof of him fucking her so I know she went."  This was also going to be a test to see if Sue would be honest about telling me what she was going to do. 
 
About 30 minutes after talking with John, Sue called me.  She told me that John had asked her out to dinner and wanted to make sure I was ok with that?  She said it felt like she was going "on a date" rather than just being a friend with benefits.  I told her it felt the same way to me, and considering that she pretty much "went on dates" with the previous John without my knowledge, that she now needed to realize that she was about to start dating John WITH my knowledge.  She asked how much longer she needed to go through with this and I told her I hadn't even started to think about that yet because I had been hurt so much. 
 
So Sue and John had their first "date" while I was away on business.  John sent me an email that included an attachment.  He laughingly wrote: "As you requested, my first date with your wife happened.  I also told her that you asked me to inform her that you wanted her to agree to start "dating me" rather than just me fucking her.  And she agreed to it, so once she's back teaching and can't come over during the summer anymore, she is going to start seeing me for longer periods of time rather than coming over for an hour to fuck each other, we'll grab dinner or take a drive somewhere."
 
John also told me to watch the attachment as he sent "more than a photo".  I opened the attachment and saw two things: a photo of my wife's face with his cock in her mouth, pressing her cheek from the inside so I could see his cock bump pushing out her cheek. And he also sent me a video that lasted a few minutes of him fucking her.  He told me not to worry, that he'd delete both the photo and video, but I told him I wanted him to keep it so he'd always be able to look back on how they looked fucking each other. 
 
And that relationship lasted around 15 years.  After fucking John about 10 times Sue told me that she noticed something different and wanted to be honest with me.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said it felt like John was "fucking" her at times like he was paying for it but other times it was more emotional, it was starting to feel like he was "making love" to her. I told her I guess that would be normal after seeing someone consistently that you liked.  I told her I was ok with that. 
 
She then said she was starting to feel like she was making love to him at times, that it was emotional for her as well feeling like she was giving her body to someone she cared about as a friend.  She wasn't having any feelings of being in love with him, but she was getting some emotional connection where she wanted to give herself to him when they saw each other.  It turned me on. The frequency of sex got less over the last couple of years but he and I estimated, that not counting the three months she worked for him and they fucked anywhere from 2-4 times a week, that he had fucked her somewhere between 50-100 times. 
 
And to this day, years later, the thought that she's been fucked so much by the same guy is a turn-on.  We all still remain friends today.  I thought that would be the end of our openess in our marriage but there would be two other men that would enter our lives, both of which got substantial time with my hotwife.  And she wanted it. 
 
If you'd like to read about it, let me know and I'll write it up.

So we took in a very good friend about six weeks ago following a very ugly split with her ex. We have know both of them for about ten years and started playing together about three years ago. I actually have known her much longer and before we started hanging out as couples.
 
Anyway, things have evolved to a point where we are sharing our bed 4-5 nights per week. We are playing together and separately. For example, in the morning it’s not unusual for me to come out of the shower and find her and my husband snuggling, touching and even fucking. I actually love seeing them together and have no feelings of jealousy. She and I are doing the same and actually took the day off Wednesday and simply spent the day in bed alone while he was at work. It’s not all about sex, but it’s clear that she really loves him and I think he feels the same about her. I know that I care deeply for her and may actually be in love as well.
 
We prepare meals together, hang out in the evenings together, play together and still swing separately, but it is definitely decreasing. Everything feels very natural and relaxed and we are all content - have we found ourselves slipping into a true polyamorous relationship? I never really thought about it and we were talking about it last night.
 
Thoughts? Warnings? This is uncharted territory.

My wife and I have been in the swinging lifestyle about a year and a half now and it's been great. We have a friend we've know about a year and after a little encouragement from me and the wife she agreed to play with me. She's not comfortable playing with my wife home yet, so we always plan it when she's out. I think it may be going too far, though. We've gone out to dinner twice, alone, which my wife has told me no more. We talk almost everyday, hike and do stuff like that. I'm afraid this is becoming more than the FWB situation we agreed on.

I have found someone I would like to be in more of a FWB situation rather than relationship but open to the possibility of it being long term. But labels aside, I've gotten the feeling my new friend has some reservations/hesitation because I'm married. He obviously knows this is okay, but I'm having a hard time getting him to follow through on meeting up since I asked him. Is there anything I should/could say or do to help ease his mind?

I'm just trying to sort out my feelings and maybe writing them down, and having the good folks on the forums offer their $.02, will help.
 
So, I've got a crush on my friend-with-benefits. I probably should have seen it coming. In fact, I think I did. She's exactly the type of lady I've always crushed on. Smart, strong but with a hint of softness, geeky, long dark hair, great eyes... Yeah, I was doomed from the start. When we first met, I joked about it: "If I was ten years younger, she would have been exactly my type." First she was just a casual acquaintance and sometime babysitter (yes, I'm banging the babysitter, get over it, she's in her 20's). Then we were friends. Now, we're friends with benefits. It's a casual thing... friends and occasional sex... really great sex.
 
OK, I knew I had a bit of a crush on her right from the start. I'm an idiot but I'm not a total idiot. I said as much. I said it to myself, to my wife, to her wife, to her... we all know it.
 
The other day I looked at her picture online. I went looking because I hadn't seen her in a week. (A damn week? Really, I should have known better.) It hit me... that feeling, that swooping, heart skipping a beat, light headed, what-the-hell-I-shouldn't-be-feeling-this feeling. Oh crap.
 
So I said it to her. Those three damn words. She knows. She cares about me too. But she doesn't feel "the way I want her to." (Her words.)
 
The thing is, fucked as I know just how I want her to feel. I don't even know what these feelings mean to me. What we have is good. Friendship and occasional really great sex. I don't really want more than that... except maybe more often (twice a month instead of once) and she and I both want that. I don't want to run away with her. We both have good relationships with our spouses and other partners. I don't want to mess any of that up. I like what we have. In fact, liking what we have is what got me into this emotional confusion in the first place.
 
Maybe it's just a question of definitions. What is love beyond friendship and sex? What does it mean that I have this crazy-making neuro-chemical reaction just to seeing her? Aren't I too old for this shit?
 
Nope, still haven't sorted it out. I'll just have to keep trying. (If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. Welcome to my crazy. )