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Showing results for tags 'appearance'.
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Which one of your body parts would you change?
cplnuswing posted a topic in Look and Feel Your Best!
If you could change only "ONE" physical thing about yourself, what would you change? Used to, Mrs cplnuswing would tease me about my "chicken legs." We'll just say I've filled out quite a bit since way back then, so not an issue any longer For me I guess it would be my skin. I was fortunate as a teenager not to struggle with facial acne, but as an adult have have more problems with acne/boils on my back and butt, so have some red blotchy places and even some small scars from that. What would you change? -
The wife finds men on different sites without seeing much more than a profile picture. She has a few messages between contact and meets. She said looks aren’t everything. When I look for a woman I have to be physically attracted to her. My wife says she meets for the sex, I meet for sex and to go out. Do you meet people you aren’t physically attracted to?
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My hubby and I have been exploring swinging for about a year. We’ve had two separate couples we’ve seen exclusively during this time, it’s all been really great! Like any woman I suppose, I have some insecurities about my body. Mainly my tummy and my “bits”. Although with the ladies I’ve been with (so far) it’s never an issue at all. I just feel I like my bits are ugly. I don’t have these feelings with guys, just girls for some reason. Have you ever been attracted to someone, then have seen them naked and have been turned off? It would be crushing for a play partner not to like me after the see me naked.
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I have been wanting to ask this for awhile. Guys are obsessed with their size. Too big or too small. Guys like to brag how many inches or question if they are smaller. I wonder if I worry too much about my size. I have never had a guy complain I am too big there. I don’t think a guy having sex will really ever complain lol. I look in the mirror and I see myself. Small breasts. Growing up I used to be envious of my friends developing more than me. My nose is big. My butt is flat. My hips wide. I am thin, maybe too thin. Then there was Down There. I just thought mine was ugly. Was I too big? Too long? Too loose? My clitoris too sticking out? I researched and read vaginas are about 4-5 inches inside. I found a toy my mother had that was 8 inches and after school I would play with it and it would go all the way in. Was my mother big too? I couldn’t ask her. I felt better when I read that like men I could get bigger too. I still obsessed with the visible size. Again no guy ever complained. It wasn’t until I played with other friends that I got to see up close others. I feel mine is looser on the outside and I hate what it looks like.
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So many attractive women with husbands who are out of shape. My wife and I are in our late 40s. Ok, I’m in my early 50s. We both exercise regularly and for the most part eat pretty well. We have met many couples where the wife is hot only to find that the husband has never exercised a day in his life. I’m missing out on many beautiful women cause my wife isn’t taking one for the team. She doesn’t care how great of a lover they are or how many times they can make her cum, she still has to find them physically attractive. Not looking for ken and Barbie but guys, please, I’m begging you, get to the gym! Lol.- 24 replies
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- married males
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One thing that is puzzling to me is the apparent lack of effort by many men in the lifestyle. The lack of effort takes many forms-- scant number of photos on profiles, god awful appearance and overall creepiness. Why, as a guy, do I care? Well it's limiting my choices! Case in point-- in reviewing profiles on line, I can't tell you how many I have come across where the guy looks like a total schlump. That breaks the deal right out the gate and is a shame as a number of these schlumps have attractive wives who do try. I personally am trying not to fall into that category and make myself presentable. I am also very selective with the photos I post. We also try to post a good variety of photos instead of 87 boob shots, 114 photos of the "better" female half, and one fuzzy picture of the male. It's a team game and everyone has to want to play. Men who play the schlump role are killing me. Schlumps knock it off!! For those who do it right-- keep it up!
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Okay, this has been a bit of a theme since the beginning. Please excuse the rantish and douchey sounding component and please feel free to relate your thoughts and experiences and observations along these lines. SO DAMN SICK of couples where one partner is a 7, 8, 9 and the other is a 3, 4, 5. How can "hot couples 2+2 attraction" and action occur when an AUTOMATIC take one for the team is in place because ONE of the four is woefully underwhelming? And that take one for the teamer is usually my wife. It's why I keep telling her "Please let me find you a super sexy sane single who happens to be a 9" so he and I can spit roast you to a quivering O fest that leaves no stone unturned, or better yet send you out alone. Nope, bless her, she wants me to interface my gifts with another couple's female "strange" and won't play ball on the MMF...YET! We, as a couple, are what we like to think of as a "near-perfect 15". But the formula is what's key: We add up to our 15 by EACH of us being a solid 7.5....not by her being a 10 and me being a 5 with generous judging. (My wife claims I'm a 9 due to being tall, full head of hair, with a runner's build and a great witty wit. And here I was thinking it was my majestic, magnificent member.... I claim she's a 10 due to her tall, willowy, slender build, beautiful smile, high IQ, and magic vibrating Kegel tunnel that tastes like honey, tickles like a feather, and sucks like a Dyson Dickilator). But I digress. What's with so many LS couples where there is one partner (usually the female) who is put together, attractive, hwp, interesting, engaging, aging incredibly well, and just downright SEXY. And the other partner (usually the guy) who is, well, cripes, gone to seed, poorly dressed, rarely flossed, schlumpily attired, dull at conversation, and in many cases presumptive that my wife will be interested in him just because his wife is hot. Aaaaarrrrgggg. Are we just unlucky, or is this why so many of the girls in the LS love playing with the other girls? We've been to many LS parties where we've seen Uneven after Uneven after Uneven couple. Guys...here's a hint. Untucked shirts don't hide beer belly shelves. End of douchey, partially tongue in cheek, frustrated rant. Feel free to pillory me, or chime in with your observations here. -
As you know I have posted a couple threads about the trials and tribulations we have had being a "she's hot, he's not" couple. Well this is sort of similar but different. We had a interesting phenomenon occur at a club we attend the other night. Just a little background first. My wife is very good looking and she spends a large amount of time and effort in getting all dolled up before we go out and when we walk in the club the heads do turn. However we go home empty handed 75% of the time and we hardly ever have people approach us and only once have we ever gotten an offer to play from someone else. The few times that we have played we were the ones making the proposition. Anyway, the other night we took a single fem guest with us and she was nicely dressed and well groomed but she is quite plain and a little overweight. She is very nice and sexy but not runway model material. We only knew a few people at the club that night and while my wife stayed at the table with a few friends I took our guest around to show her the club and make introductions. What is weird is while we were walking around people were coming out of the woodwork to meet us and many were blatantly flirting with us and hitting on us. That has never happened before when my wife and I mingle (and we do mingle). Now we never once introduced our friend as a single fem and most of these people were folks we have never met and they couldn't have known that she was single or known that we were not together as a couple (we did not portray ourselves as a couple but people didn't give us the chance to say we weren't either). Afterwards I was telling my wife about it and she thought it was just coincidence but the differences were too striking to just be coincidence. I suggested we experiment and that we should go to the club with her really "toned down" but me as polished as usual and she thought I was nuts. I guess my questions are, am I just imagining this or was it just a fluke or is this for real? Are people more comfortable approaching and flirting with a couple that is more or less plain looking rather than a couple with a "hot chick?" and finally, have any of you ever gone to a club and just dressed very plainly and with minimal make-up and primping? And if so, what was the outcome? Common sense would say that the hotter chick would garner the greater amount of offers and attention but my experience in being with a pleasant plain-Jane was completely different. Any thoughts?
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This post is going to use a lot of labels and stereotypes in the quest gathering information so please turn off the PC filter and share your thoughts openly and maybe we can all seek some useful knowledge together. A couple days ago I referred to someone as a nerd and I passed it off as ok for me to say that since I am a nerd too. Always have been always will be ( I most closely resemble Gilbert from the original 'Revenge of the Nerds' movie). Anyway, I got to thinking and it dawned on me that a lot of the people I have encountered in the lifestyle could also be classified as nerds. Before we got into the lifestyle I had a preconceived notion that the swinger community would be made up primarily of the jock/stud category of men and the cheerleader/beauty queen category of women. What I have witnessed in real life is far from that. Most of the men I have seen have not been smooth talking ladies men at all and have not been players at all or even necessarily that socially comfortable or outgoing. I have come across a few single males that are totally players and probably score a lot in the vanilla world as well as the lifestyle but they have been the exception. Many of the male halves of couples I have seen have been quite passive if not downright socially awkward and uncomfortable. Ditto for the ladies. some have been physically beautiful and reasonably charming but most have been just ordinary folks and not a stereotypical cheerleader type at all. And while many of the single males have fit the jock/stud mold, the single fems I have met in person have been the opposite and many probably struggle for a date in the vanilla world. So I guess my question is, are any of your observations similar or different from what I have described? Please share your thoughts and observations on this. I often hear discussions regarding cliques and such within the lifestyle and I am wondering if this is yet another battlefield between the jocks/cheerleaders and the nerds or is the lifestyle a place where the nerds truly do outnumber the jocks?
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In reading other threads I often see people say that because of the lifestyle they take better care of their bodies, go to greater extent to stay in shape, etc. Whenever I see this I can't help but think "why didn't you do that for your spouse? or for yourself?" Why did it take swinging to make you want to take better care of your body? And what is it about swinging that makes you want to do so? I think it's fairly common that people take better care of themselves when they are single and therefore trying to attract potential partners. Too often when we get comfortable in a relationship we take those things for granted... as women we may stop butting so much effort into making sure we have makeup on before we leave the house or for all of us making sure our clothes are just right. So I can see how we get to the point that we don't do what we should to present ourselves, but what is about swinging that changes that? And beyond that, if your partner is one of those that has started making more of an effort to present themselves since you've started pursuing swinging, how does that make you feel? Do you ever feel jealous that they didn't make that effort for you but now they are willing to for others?
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This thread made me finally have to say something... I am no "Ken"... I think Mrs Spoomonkey is a brunette "Barbie", but I will admit to a strong bias... However, why are "Ken & Barbie" so vilified? I mean - what did they do wrong? Physical attractiveness is not like kicking a puppy... Being "hot" doesn't mean you poke old ladies in the eye and take their welfare check... Having sculpted abs and bedroom eyes doesn't mean you're the devil incarnate... But for some reason, everyone seems down on "Ken & Barbie". And I just don't get it... As a couple, we exercise regularly (irregularly when the weather sucks), eat right (with the exception of holidays and after club munchie runs) and generally pay a lot of attention to our appearance. This is something we do for - SHOCK! - us... We like the way we feel when we do it - and, honestly, we like the way we look... I imagine - trying to put myself in the head of "Ken & Barbie" - that they do it mostly for the same reasons we do. Attractiveness isn't some sort of malady that renders a person soul-less... In fact, it is just as likely that an attractive person will have a great personality as someone who is less attractive. So fill me in, please... Why are they the bad guy? I know personality is important... Without it, there just isn't anyone hot enough to play with for me... But when I look across the room, I can't see your personality. But should I automatically look with suspicion on "Ken & Barbie"? And if I keep working on my appearance, will this eventually bite me in the ass?
