Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'approaching others'.
Found 28 results
-
We are heading to Cuba on May 4th and will be staying at a non-lifestyle resort. As we enjoy getting together with other couples or inviting another guy to join us for some threesome fun, we are wondering if anyone has had any luck in attracting or getting the attention of potential interested play partners at non-LS resorts? If so, does anyone have any suggestions/tips/tricks that could help us in seeing if there are other people in the LS like us that may be willing to explore the possibility of some adult fun during our stay? After all, we are sure that we are not the only LS people that frequent non-LS resorts from time-to-time. Thanks and all the best to all Swingersboard members. -
Ok... this is a little odd but have had a "thing" for hubby's boss for about a year and a half now. And hubby is about to leave his job for another one... Hubby is all ok with me being with other men (as long as it won't screw up his career and... taking for granted he gets to have a little fun too.) So... is it like... OK after hubby quites and ilonger in a professional type relationship with this person?? BETTER question.. I don't even know if he's into this, though I do catch him staring a lot.... How do you tell someone... hey I just want to have a little fun with you?! If you are not sure what they are into or have no clue as to how to breech the subject... Though part of me is afraid to pursue this at all... what if he were to react badly... or something... yeesh I don't know.
-
A friend of ours who is in the plumbing business told us an interesting story over the weekend. Seems someone who works for the same company revealed that he has been the single male for a couple's MFM fantasies for about a year now. It started when he was at the house fixing a problem. The couple basically offered up the threesome in return for the work. We were wondering if anyone has done this, is doing this, or what the thoughts are? Strangely enough, he does not know about our interests, and since he is a long time friend of ours he helps out for free, seems he may be missing out...
-
We have had quite a few experiences in the short time we have been participating in the LS. One couple we have been with a few times, the husband hangs back and watches for the most part, some participation but mostly seems to enjoy watching things play out (which I can understand, I find watching my wife an incredible turn on, but I like to play too) But they are about on the same ground as us. Slow moving and each time takes some warm up and talk before we dive in. The other couple is very experienced, the husband usually has my wife's attention within a few minutes, and has her undivided attention in just a few more, I love seeing this ,however I am more shy (while clothed) and will sit next to his wife and place a hand on her knee, or just sit close to her, I have given her a back rub to start things off. I don't really know where I am at after 14 years with the same woman. It feels like trying to date again, without the objective of a full relationship . I brought this up the third time they came over, apologized to his wife for being shy. LOL, she said, "hun, you're anything but shy". Her husband said "When you have been swinging for a while, you get a feeling for what people are looking for, and when to do what" Does this seem normal to those in the lifestyle for a while? I can turn on the charm no problem and I am good at making people feel at ease, but that is mostly talking. Maybe it is just because I have been with the same number of people since 2004 until early this month, and am still really new to working my way up. Any thoughts, suggestions? Mr. Dazed
- 20 replies
-
- 2
-
-
- approaching others
- private affair club
- (and 2 more)
-
What do you use for an opening email to people you are interested in online? My goto is something like... 'Hey read your profile and thought it was interesting! We are a friendly, outgoing professional couple having fun with this. Take a look at our profile and let us know if there is any interest. Good luck on here, and in the life style' What do you think? What do you use? What have you found successful that people like?- 10 replies
-
- 2
-
-
- approaching others
- messages
- (and 1 more)
-
Well, after visiting a couple swing clubs over the last few months and having a blast at them (just the two of us) we finally decided it was time to expand our horizons. I would love to see her being fucked by someone else, and she's pretty excited about that idea too. Problem is, we don't have much time to nurture an online relationship with another couple who shares the same interests, and I was wondering if anybody has been in the same boat we are now. I suggested her we could visit an on-premise swingers club, and mingle around a bit, and if she saw someone she liked, we could write them a straightforward note with something like "hey! My wife likes you, would you like to party with her?" (or maybe get right to the point: "would you like to fuck her?) But we're a little afraid we could offend someone. My wife is in her early 40s, full figured and really pretty. Not someone you would turn away from if the opportunity presents itself. What do you guys/gals think or suggest? -
Hi ya'll Hope this is the right place to post this. We met a couple at a local swingers bar. We seemed to connect and they emailed us after they left the club saying that they wanted to get together. We replied positively to their mail but have not heard back. Ughh, I know, Newbie wanting things to happen now. I should practice patience. Should I send them another email suggesting dinner or drinks and let them know when we are available? Is that too pushy? I don't wan to come off as pushy. -
Saw a great example of how to not pick up a playmate last night. Situation was my wife (who is a tall attractive gal) and another gal (who is average height and attractive) talking in a pre party room. This guy walks up and pretty much interrupts their conversation to say that my wife is the hottest thing he's seen in months and how he just loves tall women. And he's totally ignoring the other gal while doing this, even though she is trying to introduce herself. My wife then tries to do the introductions (the other gal has been trying this for the last minute already) , and the guy still ignores the other gal and keeps yammering to my wife. She then curtly cuts him off by saying thanks for the compliment, and turns back towards the other gal and continues talking with her. He kinda stands there for a bit, then leaves. I walk over at this point, wondering what just transpired. My wife says that the guy came over to compliment her but interrupted them and didnt seem to care. The other gal then starts to giggle, and says "you know, that guy didnt look half bad, but he was a jerk, and I dont play with jerks" My wife says "ha, he's got no shot with me, I hate being ignored and he totally ignored her."
-
What are some good ways to ask a vanilla couple if they are swingers or would like to try swinging?
-
In my past (pre-married, vanilla), I've struggled with being too much of a sexually inert, passive guy. I thought that being respectful of women meant that you didn't display your sexual interest in them. This, of course, had the side effect of making them uninterested in me because they saw me as asexual. Now that my wife and I are venturing out into the lifestyle, I'm working on purging myself of all the baggage that I've been carrying around. I don't want to make the same mistakes in the swinging world that I made the first time around in the vanilla world. It seems to me that there's a difference in someone who's sexually aggressive and one who's sexually expressive. I want to show off my sexual side, not act like a tool. So what are your opinions on the difference? Obviously, there are common sense things like "No means no", "Respect another couple's boundaries", "Don't be a stalker", etc, but I'm looking for something deeper than that. Women, when you're looking for a swinging playmate, what are the traits you're looking for? What draws you in? What makes you think "I want to hook up with this guy!" ? What kinds of behaviors turn you on and turn you off? What can a guy do to let you know he's interested in you? -
The social we went to this last weekend gave us a really good chance to see a different type of layout and how different choices in seating/standing/placement can affect the way others perceive your level of approachability. This is based solely on how we perceived others... Sitting at the bar with your back to the room - unapproachable. We saw at least 2 couples remain in this position for much of the night and while we would have loved to approach them we felt very uncomfortable doing so, as they were giving us the vibe that they were not interested in what the room had to offer. Eventually, one of the couples finally turned their bodies so that they were facing each other instead of the bar, that gave us the opportunity we needed and we did introduce ourselves and had a good time chatting with them. Sitting in a booth - this venue had booths as well as high top tables. It seemed to us that those couples who went towards a booth as their choice of seat did not want to be bothered. They wanted privacy, as they seemed to be closing themselves off from the group. We did not approach any couples sitting in booths. Sitting/Standing at a high top table - approachable. When we did approach these couples we stood, unless invited to sit (and then only if we were comfortable with the idea of staying there for a bit). Patio seating - this venue had patio tables, which is where most of the smokers stayed. We wondered out there occasionally just to see who was out there and what was going on. It was easy enough to talk to people IF they were not sitting in a large group already appearing to be in their own world. What other situations have you seen that have affected the approachability level of a couple/single in a club/social setting? Do large tables over small tables make a difference? What about hot tubs? Sofas? One of our favorite clubs had a couple of sofas in the social/dance area. It always seems like two couples manage to take over that area and if you attempt to sit there (even if only one couple is sitting there) you are informed that those seats are taken (evidently the sofas are highly coveted in this particular area). However, there are also sofas in a conversation areas and those seem more open with those sitting there more approachable.
-
HELP! We've been to a few clubs both on-premise and off. We're not into the bar scene and are home bodies for the most part. We love this lifestyle and love to play with others. However, we're both "wall flowers". We stick to the sides or shy away from open doors unless someone specifically invites us in at which point we have fun with everyone and everyone has fun with us. So my question is this. What advice can you give a couple of wall flowers so that we can pull up our roots and spread our wings? Any ice-breakers, past successes, or helpful hints would be GREATLY appreciated!!! Thanks Paul and Sarah
-
This question is coming from my wife. She was always one of those types that don't really go up to people or "put herself out there". So she was wondering how does one approach an attractive woman to strike up a conversation. It's not like you are just trying to make a friend, you trying to make something much more. She's just looking for advice from other females/couples that have done this, and how you go about doing it. -
We are almost a year into a committed relationship with plans to get married. We live in different cities and visit each other almost every weekend. She's 28 and I'm 27. We've got an incredible sexlife that just seems to be getting deeper, more meaningful, and hotter with time. A few months ago, we decided to do something spontaneous and visited a swingers club where she ended up getting a body shot licked off her topless on the bar by the coatcheck girl. We both were super turned on by this encounter and started talking about the idea of playing... End of february we ended spending the night at a couple's place after a dinner party where all four of us played in bed together. We had agreed that we would not full swap, saving that kind of intimacy just for us to share with each other. Well... last weekend we got talking about bringing a man she finds attractive over to her place this weekend for a night of fun as a birthday gift for her. She is incredibly turned by the thought of having me and another man take her on together... and I'm loving the idea too... Somehow we got onto how hot it would be if she had us both... all the way... all night long. This is a revision to our "no swapping" thing from before. Now we want to do it. We've talked about the consequences and how we feel about it a lot, role played it in bed, and are excited about it. Now we want to decide on moving ahead with it. I'm wondering if there's something an experienced swinger couple might have us consider about this before we move ahead, bearing in mind the following: - this is about us, and the whole purpose of it is for it to turn us on - this isn't an attempt to spice up a lame sex life... we just have heard and think if done right that it can be incredibly hot - the "invitee" works in her company but in a different department... they do occasionally see each other at work lunches and events with other people but not often - I've met him at one of her work functions before and he knows how committed we are... i also happen to think he's a genuinely nice guy and will be respectful in bed with us... mostly with her seeing as I'm not looking for a bi-sexual experience - we've agreed that this is our space now, so any conversations she has with him after are to be shared with me - we've discussed rules and how to handle things if he should he develop feelings for her after - we've decided that she'll talk to him this week at lunch and lay the whole thing out for him to decide on...rules and all... since she's caught him checking her out a few times already, we don't see him turning the opportunity down. - she is away from work for a week after this night of fun allowing for a cool off period - we've talked about the possibility of me becoming jealous... and I'm feeling good about this not being a big cause for concern. I think seeing her in action with him might actually quell all the thoughts i have about her previous sex life with other men - these thoughts have actually started turning me on recently... i don't know why really... they used to make me jealous with my previous girlfriends...I think i'm getting to the source of where my jealousy was really stemming from. - we've talked about the possibility of her feeling dirty afterwards... she doesn't see this as a concern... her primary concern is that I'm ok with him being inside of her - we've talked about ways of making the encounter safe The biggest thing we've narrowed it down to is how she and him will have to handle themselves after this night given they work in proximity and also given that she and I won't be living in the same city until she moves to be with me in 4 months. Do you think we've done our due diligence? Are we silly to be doing this given that we're only late twenties and not even married yet? Are we missing details? Should we maybe just pillow talk for a few more months and see what we think then? We're confident that we are adult about all our decisions regarding this.. marriage included... we would like to know if you're seeing something here that we might've missed. ...your advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.
-
The whole "women rule the swinging world" statement has a lot of connotations, one of which is the idea that women have to be the ones to do the approaching and that the men should sit idly by until they are approached. I know a lot of men who are shy and quite honestly a lot of women who are shy too... so I have a really hard time believing that most swinging men sit back and let them women take full control in swinging and wait for them the women to do the approaching. So what about it men? Are you willing and do you approach women you find attractive? Or do you send your wife over to do the approaching? Or do you wait for the other woman? And women (because I know some of you are reading this) what are your feelings? Do you feel that men should wait for you to approach them? How comfortable are you being the one to do the approaching?
-
This show is in its second season on VH1. We watched last season and found that we were able to pick up some good tidbits on approaching people and "picking them up" that would even work in swinging environments. For those not familiar with the show, Mystery (that's his name) is known as a world renown pickup artist and has developed this formula (if you will) for how to pick up women. He brings in 8 virgins/geeks/socially inepts/etc and converts them from completely socially inept to ultimate pickup artists (ok not all 8 make it quite that far). For those of us who need a little help in how to approach people in group situations this show has a lot of good info, IMO.
-
I was just replying to LM's old thread about lowering your standards and it got me to thinking about the various times we've met people and talked with them only to decide they just weren't our cup of tea. There have been a couple of times where we either did (or would have) given them a second chance... mainly because we got that feeling of "we're being too picky", so we met with them again and again there were just things we couldn't get past. For example.... - one couple has an issue with discretion - they like to name names - another couple, the first time we met them the guy talked so much about himself and the places they go, etc that we thought they were full of themselves. In both of those cases, we tried again only to run right back into the same walls that knocked us out the first time. It has left me wondering if it's worthwhile to even give a second chance and thinking we should just trust our guts on first impressions. That said, there was one couple we would have liked to have given a second chance (after he got way too drunk at our first meeting) but we approached it badly and lost that chance... and it may have been a good thing, but we'll never know. So do you ever give second chances to people after you meet them the first time and your gut instinct says "it's not gonna be worth it".? -
So far, my experience has been limited to on-premise club or house party, meeting single men and getting down to business. This has worked well, but I am ready to spread my wings. I think after my divorce, I just wanted to make sure that I could get laid, OK, check that off, I can do that. Now, I would really like to make contact with a couple. I think I am attracted to the fact that the man would not be so eager and jumpy (he is with his wife, he knows he is going to get some). Plus, I have always been curious about the touch and feel of a woman (I am a bi-newbie). So I get all gussied up, go to the club, and never get approached by couples. I have approached couples when they had the first timer name tag. I sat and talked but they were just there to check out the scene. I did have a lovely conversation with a couple who had been swinging for 30 some odd years, they were great and we 20 questioned each other alot, I learned alot about swinging and about myself that night. But, how do I get past the talking? Are couples less likely to play with a single they just met at a club vs someone they have emailed before? I am not real comfortable with the emailing, I am not looking for a relationship and getting to know you, just some good old anonymous naked time. I don't think I am visually an ogre, I am a size 16, a little lumpy but all my lumps are in the right place. I don't dress real sexy, I like to look a little classy with that wild thang undertone. I am working on my small talk, eye contact people skills, so I am trying to be more outgoing. How do I let couples at the club know that I am interested. Do I need to do my networking online? Do couples prefer that mode of contact? -
In sexual situations who is the seducer? The man. The woman. Both. Seduction does not take place.
-
We aren't prudes - I think... I mean, we are active swingers who feel like we have a pretty good grasp of the lifestyle, some wonderful friends and some awesome experiences. We don't play with the lights off or start every play date with prayer time... But still... Are we too uptight about things? We have a couple that we are good friends with and probably because they are comfortable with us, recently the husband started being extremely crude - always talking about sex in rather base terms. Here's an example: Mrs Spoo and I are in our training for Spring races right now (going great!) and one of the things about that is a fairly regulated diet. We are over at their house and have brought our own snack - a 9:00 ration of yogurt and cereal (Kashi Go-Lean Crunch... Yum!). "I can work you up some yogurt right here..." He said refering to masturbation... To which both of us turned green and decided to wait a little while before eating our snack. To us - that really is not sexy. It's gross. Needless to say, our visit that night was just to watch movies. This couple is a lot of fun and really, really easy to get along with otherwise. For the longest time, they were respectful to the point of almost being shy. But, comfort has brought out that side of their personality and it is a big turn off for us. But, since they are wonderful friends, we are giving them room and a little slack. Had they started out this way - we'd have never hooked up with them at all. We had a couple be this way at the club and interest went to "no way" quickly. The husband kept wanting to see Mrs Spoo' "Pooter" in exchange for some lame magic trick. I explained to him how the trick was done and that my wife doesn't even have a "pooter" - whatever the hell that is. Now - we have a single guy who we have been talking to. Seems like a great guy, but his last PM to us ended with the line, "can't wait to meet you two and hopefully MEAT you too! LOL!" Ick... *shudder*... Why? Just... why??? I am not used to guys my age acting that juvenile. I told him that we were going to write off his PM as being written while drunk - and we'll see how things go... But what a turn off. Anyway - are we prudes? Is this just something we are going to have to learn to live with? I have talked to people about some of the most disgusting things - I can't put my finger on it except maybe for juvenile - but some things ("yogurt", "MEAT", "pooter") just make my skin crawl. Spoomonkey PS - I did have a playmate once with whom I had this running joke about eating poop. But for some reason, as gross as the jokes were, the context made it funny. And anyone who knows us knows we aren't exactly Mormon-esque. So - I don't think that is the problem...
-
New couple here from Tn. we are looking for the right place to be into mfm not sure how to meet guys we have picked out but lost are nerve to ask guys around are house so far i love this board
-
Playing Hard to Get and Hurt Feelings
nice_cpl_n_bama posted a topic in Finding People to Swing With
Hi everybody, As you may have read, we went to our first house party last night. While it was overwhelmingly good there was one snag. There was a couple there we have played with in the past. Given my usual shyness I naturally made a move on the lady I already knew. She just gave me a kiss and wandered away. I took that to mean that she was really interested in someone else that night. I moved on to other interests. Laurie and I ended up spending most of the night with a different couple. The lady who seemed uninterested ended up leaving early. It turns out that she really likes to play hard-to-get and be pursued a bit. She apparently had hurt feelings because I didn't chase her. Laurie says the lady just had too much to drink while we were busy elsewhere and got depressed from it and that I shouldn't worry about it. I thought that I should sent an apology note. Laurie says that we didn't do anything to apologise for and once the booze wears off our friend will realize that hard-to-get is a plan that just doesn't work with me. So, should I go with the apology or listen to my wonderful wife and leave it lie? -
My question is are most single men approached by couples they eventually swing with or do the single men approach the couples? -
Mrs. Beaverz and I are contemplating starting our adventures at a club sometime in the next year. We are obviously not familiar with the club scene and have some concerns about the typical behavior. We both would have a difficult time if it is common for men to take liberties (such as groping) without the consent of the women. We would hope that all the men would be gentlemen until the appropriate place and time. In the right setting we image it can be very erotic, but being new to this we would want to take it rather slow. We just don’t want to get in a situation that we’re not expecting. We would appreciate input from those that have experienced clubs and can provide some insight on typical behavior. I realize this may be a stupid thread, but we’re just trying to cover all the bases. -
Hubby and I went to our first swing club over the weekend and had a wonderful time. My question is how do you approach someone about having sex? Hubby and I have said that we will swing separately at the same party/location, but I'm a little shy about approaching a man. I'm a BBW, so I'm sure it comes cause of that, but I know that there were several men interested, but I just didn't have the guts to go and do it. Any suggestions?
