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Showing results for tags 'changed mind'.
Found 5 results
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We are both somewhat new to swinging, we have been married almost 16 years, we don't have a lot of experiences yet and so far we have only soft swapped with a few other couples, but in addition to swapping spouses, I always had the fantasy of seeing my beautiful wife locking lips with another beautiful woman and maybe even making love together, what man doesn't dream of that!!! Whenever I brought up that possibility with her, she would say gross, no way, not me, not in a million years, etc... Not any more!!! In the past several weeks she has had some really great experiences with another woman that we met on the dance floor at our local on-premise club. It all started with some dancing, then a little touching, and some playfull kisses and finally full on making out. She loved it, and she isn't just doing it to please me which is what I originally thought. I asked her what changed her mind? She said she was in a moment and it just felt right. I am so happy for her, and I don't mind either...I even got in on the action with a threeway kiss in the middle of the two of them which was so nice... I have to say as much as I hoped this would happen someday, I never thought she would really do it. I still can't believe it!!! She said never had feelings for women before we started swinging, and now we can talk openly about it to a degree... She is ready to explore some more at this point. Is this the way most of the other bi-curious, bi-sexual swinging women got started? Mr. Wildfire
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I posted previously about the swinging history of my husband and me in another thread. It hasn't been pretty. I've been talking to H about our feelings regarding the whole matter the last couple days, and we're at a stalemate. I can't handle watching him with another women and would be content to leave the lifestyle entirely. H points out that I have had some good times with it, he has had some good times, why can't we have good times together in the lifestyle? To him it's not just the sex- he says he also enjoys the atmosphere of the clubs, the sexy, edgy vibes that people give out there, the thrill of going against norms. And don't I enjoy refusing to become the frumpy wife that a lot of his friends have? I pointed out that the occasions when I had the most fun were the ones when I was by myself- I can only enjoy it if he's out of sight, out of mind- can't do it with him. Couple activities I have problems with. He asks why I would be willing to give up having that fun? I've pointed out to him that I can live without this and be content with one man for the rest of my life- I don't need this and it's not working for me as a couple. We can find social outlets elsewhere. His response: he believes it's made us stronger as a couple and really improved our sex lives. He has the best sex with me after being with someone else. I believe the total opposite: I have put a wall up around me that keeps me distant from him emotionally and sex afterwards feels really off. I have asked him previously which was more important to him- me or the freedom to have a variety of swing partners. He won't answer that because he feels I'm painting him into a corner to say he'll drop it for me- and claims he could easily ask the reverse: if H was the most important thing to me, then I would be willing to do this. Thing is- that's exactly why I've done it this long (6 or 7 years), and I can't anymore. We're at a stalemate- has anyone else had these kind of discussions/impasses? Am I making too much of the whole situation and should just go along with it like I have been? -
We have been married 17 years; good, close relationship. We have done some "soft-swinging" in the past; very limited experience with a few different people, two with couples and one with another M. She is concerned about discretion, etc. She doesn't want it with people we know, or close by, doesn't want it with strangers. We met a great couple online, and after 10 weeks of emails and phone calls she agreed to meet them and we had a nice picnic and talked for 6 hours. We all enjoyed each others company and we all hit it off, even she said they were attractive, intelligent and very much like us. They are beginners too. We agreed to meet again in a five weeks at our house, and to use our hot tub. We all agreed that we would keep it to light soft swinging. Now she says she doesn't want to; says that we're going too fast. She says she just wants to be "friends" with them, and maybe after a year we might go in the hot tub, and doesn't want a sexual relationship with them. I and the other couple were looking forward meeting again and using the hot tub; she says she feels like it's the three of us against her. She says if we do anything at all that she would be doing it just for me, and would be very passive about it. Do I just drop the whole thing and apologize to the other couple? Or how can I salvage this situation? It was very difficult to find this couple and we felt lucky that we all got along so well. I'm afraid if we let it go we'll never get this kind of opportunity again. -
We aren't prudes - I think... I mean, we are active swingers who feel like we have a pretty good grasp of the lifestyle, some wonderful friends and some awesome experiences. We don't play with the lights off or start every play date with prayer time... But still... Are we too uptight about things? We have a couple that we are good friends with and probably because they are comfortable with us, recently the husband started being extremely crude - always talking about sex in rather base terms. Here's an example: Mrs Spoo and I are in our training for Spring races right now (going great!) and one of the things about that is a fairly regulated diet. We are over at their house and have brought our own snack - a 9:00 ration of yogurt and cereal (Kashi Go-Lean Crunch... Yum!). "I can work you up some yogurt right here..." He said refering to masturbation... To which both of us turned green and decided to wait a little while before eating our snack. To us - that really is not sexy. It's gross. Needless to say, our visit that night was just to watch movies. This couple is a lot of fun and really, really easy to get along with otherwise. For the longest time, they were respectful to the point of almost being shy. But, comfort has brought out that side of their personality and it is a big turn off for us. But, since they are wonderful friends, we are giving them room and a little slack. Had they started out this way - we'd have never hooked up with them at all. We had a couple be this way at the club and interest went to "no way" quickly. The husband kept wanting to see Mrs Spoo' "Pooter" in exchange for some lame magic trick. I explained to him how the trick was done and that my wife doesn't even have a "pooter" - whatever the hell that is. Now - we have a single guy who we have been talking to. Seems like a great guy, but his last PM to us ended with the line, "can't wait to meet you two and hopefully MEAT you too! LOL!" Ick... *shudder*... Why? Just... why??? I am not used to guys my age acting that juvenile. I told him that we were going to write off his PM as being written while drunk - and we'll see how things go... But what a turn off. Anyway - are we prudes? Is this just something we are going to have to learn to live with? I have talked to people about some of the most disgusting things - I can't put my finger on it except maybe for juvenile - but some things ("yogurt", "MEAT", "pooter") just make my skin crawl. Spoomonkey PS - I did have a playmate once with whom I had this running joke about eating poop. But for some reason, as gross as the jokes were, the context made it funny. And anyone who knows us knows we aren't exactly Mormon-esque. So - I don't think that is the problem...
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Husband can't handle seeing wife with other men
daisy13 posted a topic in Swinging Situational HELP!
Hi, My wife has just recently joined this site. And we were all set to start swinging. BUT after the first experience with swapping I've become completely turned off by the thought of her with someone else. I had such a negative feeling about this that I've told her I wont do another swap. I don't think I'll be able to handle ever seeing this again. I know she wants to play and she is BI so I suggested that she just stick to women to keep me sane. And no I dont expect to be with any woman she's with. Just there with her! I just don't think I can deal with it again. I feel like I've let her down and this has caused stress and negative feelings. Not to mention fighting, yelling, and crying. Am I being unreasonable? All I ever wanted was to make this woman happy I love her more then life itself. So what do ya think?
