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Showing results for tags 'choosing playmates'.
Found 10 results
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Speaking as a recent snip-"ee", does the fact that a potential playmate has had a vasectomy a plus, a minus, or doesn't even factor into consideration when evaluating a new partner in the lifestyle?
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Here is the question , how many experienced swingers will consider meeting with a couple that is new to swinging ? I want to see if the responses here corrolate with our experince so far Marv & Sue -
The wife finds men on different sites without seeing much more than a profile picture. She has a few messages between contact and meets. She said looks aren’t everything. When I look for a woman I have to be physically attracted to her. My wife says she meets for the sex, I meet for sex and to go out. Do you meet people you aren’t physically attracted to?
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My wife's response in the How often do you swing thread got me thinking about how our priorities and desires have changed since we started swinging. We have had some great experiences, some bad experiences, and some that were just mediocre. Over time our criteria for picking play partners has changed considerably. These changes in criteria were mainly prompted by the realization by both of us at some point that we would rather have good quality encounters over quantity. Now we have decided to pass on some of the couples that one or both of us really aren't sure if they will be fun to play with. Previously, while we always have both avoided "taking one for the team" we have played with a quite a few people that one of us wasn't that into the spouse of a couple but the other one of us was. In these cases we went ahead and played thinking that we would get more into the other person as things progressed. What we have found is that 9 times out of 10 it usually just ends up as a mediocre or bad experience. We also find that now we spend a lot more time making sure a newbie couple we are considering is really both on the same page before committing to play with them. My questions are: For the experienced swingers, do you find that your priorities and criteria for picking play partners have changed considerably over time as you have become more experienced? For the above question, please explain why? Do you notice that these things actually change a bit after each encounter? This question is also for the folks that are newbies to swinging, do you find that these types of discussions here on the board make you rethink your ideas about how to choose play partners? -
Good morning all, we are trying to figure out how to move forward with choosing couples. I (female half) am extremely picky and so our major issue is finding couples we both agree on. Is this a common problem and if so how do you move past it?
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We are 40, and don't date under 30. Why? Drama insurance. You remember those stupid dramatic fights you had with exes in your 20's? Also ... the "I'm almost old enough to be your dad and that's kinda creepy" factor. Yeah. Best to pass. Let's check the email: *supermodel barbie and hardbody ken pics* Hey guys, we're 21m/24f, drama free experienced cpl. Text us! -XO (local phone number) What would you do? -
So I am trying to find a way to describe me. Apparently I am very picky when it comes to potential playmates. My husband gets a little frustrated because he may see a guy that he thinks that maybe I should be interested in. And then I'm not. He'll say "what are you looking for?" "how do i even pass these standards of yours?" LOL....And honestly I have no set criteria in my head. Do I have turnoffs. YES...Are they the same for everybody. NO..(except for smoking...it's a turnoff to me regardless) All I can say is that something has to click. And it just don't happen. I have chosen 1 guy to join us in a MFM threesome in a year. Is he what I'd call idea. No....He's too skinny and he smokes. But something clicked and I felt comfortable. Here's something else. I have learned that yes, there are many different levels of swingers. There are people out there who in my opinion aren't picky enough. LOL ..Is there such a thing as being "too loose" within the swinger lifestyle? Honestly I wonder if some of these people walk into a party with blinders on. My husband thinks that I am so picky because I am just not into it. That if I was "into it" that I would be open to more people. I just think this......we go to a party to have fun, whether or not we find somebody to "hook up" with is irreverent. I am having sex regardless. LOL...I have my husband that I am more than happy to leave with. If we find somebody...fine...If we don't fine. I am just thankful to get out and be an "adult". We are parents of 2 great boys and we spend most of our time with them without many opportunities to go out without them. So I don't wanna put any kind of pressure on myself to "have" to find anybody? I am just enjoying the environment.
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So the hubby & I have been discussing swinging and both actively & passively seeking another male or couple to have our first experience with for going on 2 years now. Needless to say, we're sick of talking and ready for action! We've gone to a local on-premise club that we love several times, but have never found anyone there that truly sparked our interest. Suddenly, within the past week we have been contacted by a couple and a single male that might just work. But of course, there's a catch with both options. The first thing about the couple & single male is that they're all roughly 20 yrs older than we are... we don't think that should be a problem, but since we're completely inexperienced (even after all this time), is the age difference something we should take into consideration? Here's the info on them... The Couple: The couple seems genuinely nice, experienced, respectful, and from what we've seen in our 2 years of research they'd be the PERFECT couple to lose our swinging "virginity" to... yet neither of us finds either of them physically attractive! Now they aren't unattractive by any means... they're decent lookin' folks! Just physically they're not exactly what we were seeking, and honestly had no idea they'd be attracted to us! However, personality wise, they are exactly the kind of couple we have been searching for... and we just don't know what to do! The hubby is concerned b/c he doesn't want to "settle"... yet I am torn b/c we're both also firm believers that personality is the most important factor that can make or break the situation. The Single Male: He was married, but is currently single & claims to have had & shared mfm fantasies with his wife, but they never took it beyond that. (Please let us know if that's a red-flag issue! We don't have experience with single males!) All our email interaction has been positive. He's been very polite and respectful, and is eager to know what our fantasy-come-true looks like, and what all we'd like to have happen should we choose him for our first MFM encounter. I am definitely attracted to him physically, and wasn't sure I would be since the emails started before we ever exchanged pics. I'm trying to figure out what kinds of specifics I need to give him, questions I need to ask him to see how things progress, so help there would be appreciated as well. So... who do we choose? How do we choose? If it helps, there are other couples out there we'd probably like to play with eventually, but we've been really picky about our *first* encounter, since we want it to be memorable in a positive light, hopefully the first of many Though I must admit I haven't really come across any other single males that I've been too interested in at all. And we mainly started all this b/c we both have a MFM fantasy lol. Decisions... decisions... HELP!!! LOL
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Hello, I have been reading this forum for a while and it has been enlightening. We are not yet into the lifestyle but still thinking if its right for us or not. Here is my question: There are some discussions on being picky about your partner, but how many people are picky about their SO's partner. For example i've thought about friends we know and thought if i would be ok with my partner having sex with them or not. Do other people do this or do they usually leave it up to their SO to decide who they do or do not want to sleep with? or is it some sort of mutual decision. Thanks
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Hi! A question for all the guru's . We have done the SLS ad, went to a lifestyle club and been to a few socials. It seems as though we can not find the right couple. Either I am attracted to the female or Jenn is attracted to the male half..but never mutual attraction as of yet. Is this common for newbies or is this a typical scenario? Just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. We have talked about this and both know we are not going to take one for the team. The searching is fun though. Any input or advice will be greatly appreciated.
