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Showing results for tags 'communication issues'.
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( as of October 5th, we will no longer be newbies and offically will be at the 2year mark of being in the LS, so I will refrain from using the "Newbie needs ...." title in the postings lol) Good Morning / Day all! So my topic for today: People and their Hidden Agendas, or why can't people in the LS just state what they want? So last night was our first test of seeing if we could do play solo, as the wife had a date with BF of a couple that she had interest in for a while. They have been talking through FB Messenger, and hit it off well. So, Yesterday they planned a date by were she would go to his place ( about an hour away), cook dinner for her, and he would let her shoot guns on his property. Then if they felt like it go dancing later on. So we set our rules and discussed with the BF: no drinking for her ( as she is terrible at night driving and drinking and driving for her at night has had bad consequences) and that we are condom mandatory. Call first if plans change or fall through, call or text upon arrival and departure. He lives in rural part of the state about an hour from us, and about an hour from Tulsa, the next big city. So the Mrs. goes out and has the date, leaving around 1pm yesterday. She texts her arrival about an hour later, all good. Around midnight I check Find My and it says she has gone to Tulsa. So i figured they must have went dancing as sure there are Dance clubs in Tulsa. About 4am the wife finally makes it back home. Mind you she did text when she was on her way, so no worries. I asked if she was ok to drive she said sure. Upon arrival at home I ask her to unpack the date and tell what went on, just checking in. So: She lets me know that the date started as planned, that they had shot the guns and then he made her dinner. They talked and discussed lifestyle stuff and experiences. Since they had walked the length of his property she decided to take a shower to get cleaned up and that led to afterwards her getting a massage from him, which led to them having play time. He didn't abide by our Condom Mandatory rule, and she didn't do a Condom Check, as she said " i got lost in the moment". As they were having dinner later, the girlfriend of the BF shows up. Well we both know that the GF leans heavily Bi-sexual, and is quite known for "hunting" girls within our circle of LS friends. So the GF suggest rather than going dancing, that the three of them go with another lady friend of hers to an LS Club. So they all four go to an LS club. The GF tells them "oh this club is known for Girl Gangbangs and we should see one tonight". So they go to the club and my MRS, who's never seen a Girl GangBang is intrigued. So they end up meeting a few other LS female friends from our circle, & the Group goes into a playroom. Well according to the MRS., the BF and her start playing, and then it ends with the BF leaving the MRS in the playroom with the other ladies and she ends up in the Girl Gangbang as a participant! So, of course when I finish hearing the story, my only and one reaction is: Why did they have to lie? Why not just tell you that was their agenda from the beginning? the MRS of course is appalled at my reaction, and doesn't believe they intended to enact this from the beginning. And yet all the signs to me are there.... My question for the group is three fold: 1. My gut says this is what it was. Am I wrong in thinking this? 2. How far do I push this in the fact that rules were broken, and how, if i should, spread the blame on this one? 3. What should I do as far as the LS friends? Cut them off? Out them for their behavior? Just never see them again. This LS stuff will drive you crazy if you let it...... -
My wife and I are 42, married 19 years. We are not in the lifestyle. She has 1 rule... No anal. Otherwise she is game for whatever I come up with. Not much else is off limits. Toys, Role play, sex swing, BDSM, simulated MFM/Gangbangs, sex machine, etc. Although we have done some pretty involved and creative role play/simulations... she says she can't imagine doing the above with others for real. If I'm honest, the reality would be a big step for me as well. Yet, I tell her I'm not opposed either. I have found that my fetish is whatever makes her aroused in new ways. I love the nuances of her sounds and how her body responds to a new sensation. She says she is perfectly happy with our dynamic. I create the scene and surprise her. I even find myself sounding silly for writing this as if it were a problem. We are tremendously transparent, collaborative and vocal about every aspect of our lives. But when it comes to discussing fantasies, likes/dislikes, collaborating on role play, etc... my wife shuts down or becomes flippant or gets a "how soon can we get this talk over with?" type vibe. She will say,"I just don't have anything to say." I don't press her to share more than she wants and there are probably way more layers than can be addressed here. So I suppose my question is... Are there couples that have experienced a similar dynamic in their journey and how/in what ways were they able to be more expressive? -
Mrs YZF here. Almost a year ago we had Quita, a polymory third move in with us. It has been great. I have been into girls my whole life and so is she so it was good for me. YZF had two women when ever he wanted so it was good for him. She is the third, I am the wife. Those were the ground rules. Quita can come into our bed when ever she wants. She can sleep in our bed when she wants. She does not sleep with YZF unless I am not there. I do not sleep in another room so she can sleep with him. She gets everything I get. She gets to spend his money. He gave her a car. She does not get to spend the night with him at my expense. Those were the rules. They were not written down or anything, they were understood. Now this past weekend, I get booted from the room. "Something different" YZF said. Quita agreed. At least I think she agreed, the bitch does not even speak english! I can't help feeling that something is afoot here. Quita has been acting smarmy of late. I really do not know how to approach this.