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Wife and I started in the swinging lifestyle in early 70's and from the very start we decided that condoms were not required. Of course this was way before AIDS and she was on the pill but we both thought the condom would take away the pleasure. From the very first every guy she fucked came in her pussy. At first she would douche after fucking another guy but one night I got to her before she did the douche and though she protested once I got my tongue in her cunt she was so turned on by the FACT THAT I WAS LICKING HER LOVER'S CUM FROM HER PUSSY THAT SHE HAD AN INTENSE ORGASM. I grabbed her butt and pulled her pussy to my face and loved the feel and taste. Then I slipped my own cock into her slick cunt and it felt so great. She said "you are going to mix your cum with his, aren't you?" You can bet I did, that time and every other time when she fucked another guy - and there were many other guys over the years, but her pussy never wore out and all the fellows loved her hairy cunt.

Reading Chicup's post "Reading between the profile lines..." about V-safe being code of bareback play got me thinking. If a couple/single admits to playing bareback as an option do you avoid them due to STI concerns even if you only play safe? If they allude to it, as described in Chicup's post, do avoid them for the same concerns? Do you bail on a couple that states they play safe in their profile, but when you meet, all of a sudden it is optional? What if it becomes optional after getting to know you better? We have seen a few couple profiles that say they only play bareback, usually due to latex concerns, but I don't usually buy that, since there are condemns that are latex free. We have seen 2-3 more that just state that is how they prefer to play. And we have meet a good many that state they only play safe in their profile, but bring up that bareback is an option once we meet. The vast majority we have met do not use any protection during oral. So where do YOU draw the line?

Hey everyone, I know it has to have happened to some or most of you. You are in the middle of your full swap having your way with the other spouse when all of a sudden you or they realize the condom came off! Knock on wood this has not happened to us yet. We would just like to know what everyone's course of action was after this happened? A friendly fishing expedition maybe? Did you put a new one on and go at it? Or decide that it was a moot point by then...

Hi, on this forum I read a lot about birth control when swinging. I would like to know if you already used a method with a commonly high failure rate, when having sex during swinging. (this poll is not related to sex with your own wife or husband) Or do you ALWAYS use rather safe methods like the pill, or a combined method like condom combined with withdrawal? Karen

This particular thread Bareback Swingers made us curious about how common bareback sex is among those of us on the Board. The following is a poll we saw on a Yahoo! group earlier this year. We are looking forward to reading your feedback.

We had some questions we would like to ask, and we appreciated those who could share their history. What do you feel the first time you see another man enter you or your partner enter another woman and vice versa? How did you start swinging? Did you play with friends or strangers? Did you use condoms or not? Did you let the other guy cum inside (assuming you were taking the pill or similar and that you trust the other couple)? Did you notice any physical difference? My answer is the following. English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes. Even now, we feel we are "almost" new in this new world, and that was 100% true until a few years ago (2019). We had talked about the LS for many years until we finally made a web profile in a local S community. After some time talking online, we finally met with some couples in restaurants. We had a really nice match with the fourth couple we met. They are really handsome and funny and were also new in the S community; they were about 10 years older than us (we were at the end of our 20s). They shared the same fantasies and worries as us that consist basically in having a good match, trusting new people, and safe sex. After that, we started talking more often. Unfortunately, we all have somewhat chaotic schedules, so it was a couple of months later when we met again for a more intimate meeting. First, we meet in a hotel, one month later at our place, just for soft swaps. The four of us had greats moments but also were really nervous, so we took things slow. After that, we progressively shared more fantasies, intimate pictures online and gained more confidence. We were becoming friends really quickly, but something that made us trust in them completely was that they had just had a child a few months before meeting us, and she was breastfeeding. Of course, she didn't want anything to happen to her son and for them as well as us (and surely for anyone on this page); the most important thing was the safety of their bodies and that of their children… Even so, maybe the next thing sounds a bit innocent or irresponsible, and years ago is something we never thought we'd do… We decided to play at 100% with them, and to do it without condoms. Obviously, it was because the feeling is more intimate that way and simply because we trust them completely. Also, both girls were on the pill; both couples checked themselves before playing, and we were sure we were just playing with each other. The next time we met was at their place. It would be the second man for me, and practically the second woman for my husband, so we were really nervous, but super excited (In their case, they have a much longer history than us, not in the LS but with previous partners). We arrived at their place trembling a little despite all the trust we had built with them, knowing that this time we would do it, made everything quite intense. They have prepared a nice environment with candles and low light. Everyone started with their own couple. When it comes to being naked and touching each other, our previous encounters already made us all feel completely comfortable so everything went smoothly. Eventually, the girls started playing a little bit with each other in a classical 69, while our own husbands penetrated us. I'm really shy, so I didn't dare to go all the way to licking her. For me it was more about seeing at close how they were having sex and some small liking here and there (especially right in the union, but closer to the guy). I was nervous but I loved every second of it (And really impressive also). She was much more comfortable with me and my husband and I could feel how she was really into licking me and even taking my husband out of me to suck him or licking me. In our first meetings, we (the girls) "almost" didn't do anything bi, and it was a whole new experience for me and something I always had wanted to do. Eventually, someone asked if we were ready, and we said yes. Then both girls lay on our backs and waited for each of our husbands to enter us (mine in her and her husband in me). My husband and I had many plants about that moment. The most important was to look at each other bodies at the moment of the first insertion, but there were so many new sensations that it was difficult to keep track of everything that was going on. I had my legs spread, and our friend was waiting with his big tool really close to my entrance when my husband started to enter our lady friend. She was on her back next to me. Before my husband entered, he looked at her in the eyes, like asking her if it was ok to enter, to which she nodded and looked at the perfect penis pointing right at her wet entrance. Then my husband looked at me in the eyes with the face of a kid in a candy store, and then he moved close to her. My husband was really excited when he entered her slowly, and a delicious moan of pleasure escaped from her when he fully entered. I felt great for him (for all of us) for having that crazy experience. My husband mentioned how the internal fold and the texture inside her feel a little bit different than mine, also delicious but in a different way, but not something too notable. In addition, the lubrication was slightly different than me but just a little bit (he had been inside me just seconds before so the fluids of both girls were a little bit mixed). Because of my position, I just could see the borderline of their connection while my husband entered her. I would have liked to look closer, but when I was trying to pay more attention to them, another penis got in contact with my vagina. I felt a big electric shock in all my body that made me totally forget about what my husband was doing. I looked at my new lover. He started rubbing his penis at my entrance, making my whole-body tremble... then he began to enter me slowly. My body was extremely ready despite my mind being a little nervous. I did not offer him the slightest resistance… It was incredible how my body could make me feel the same sensation that only my husband had made me feel, but in that case, it was a new man inside me. The physical sensation was practically the same (He is a little longer than my husband when he is totally hard, but unfortunately, he was not completely hard, maybe 95%, but it was understandable due to the nerves of the moments) still he filled me all, crashing against the deepest part of me. it was delightful... What was totally new and different was the whole experience. I was having sex with someone new right in from of my husband! And far from jealous, what we felt was exciting about the experience. Also, the intimacy of the act I was doing with our friend (and my husband with our girlfriend) was super profound and a fantastic experience, difficult to describe. My husband told me how he managed to see a little as the other guy entered, but the girl connected to him was taking a huge part of his attention. What he liked the most was my surprised face during the whole process. Our only rule was that the boys should finish outside. Their rule was that we couldn't kiss them on the lips. Ones of the thing I liked the most during the sex act was how my new lover, at a moment of great passion, suddenly brought his mouth close to mine (their kissing rule was more of a suggestion than a rule since she had also kissed my husband but only slightly, but my new lover's kiss was very deep and sinful, it was only for a couple of seconds but I loved it). We played for a while. It was fantastic how from time to time my husband kissed the girl's breasts or touched my breasts and kissed me (while staying connected to the girl). My husband loved the moans that the girl and I were doing and the face of pleasure that we had while new men were inside of us. After some time, my new lover was already completely hard. Even then, the physical feeling was practically the same delicious sensation I felt with my husband (not counting all the mental sensations that it was totally new). It was really interesting, but maybe it was due to the fact that the difference between the boys was not too notable (for the girls who have been with more boys, do you feel some difference if your new partners have a noticeable size difference? I know size doesn't matter, and its more about technique and how you interact with you partner, but what about when there is a really big difference, like a super big or super small guy… do you feel like the guy is breaking you apart or that the guy stays a little bit loose inside of you?) Unfortunately, after a little bit too short time later and like adolescents with their first girlfriends, both boys came outside of the girls due to nerves. First, my husband and that got my new lover too excited and make him cum almost immediately after. Now we fantasize a lot about that moment and we wish the men would have finished inside of the girls and then do it again just after the guys have cum inside (have any of you done that?), but at the time, we were too insecure with the pill (even if by that time we had years taking the pill and my husband always cum inside of me, but this was a new guy, so my husband and I were a little bit nervous about it). Also, we would have felt very embarrassed to tell them that we wanted to do that at that time. After the guys finished, we took a bath, and then we started playing again (each with each own partner) until eventually, their one-year-old baby started to cry in the other room, and we ended up the night. The experience was wonderful, and it left us wanting much more. We feel that to make it a completely perfect experience, we needed to have had even more confidence and be more open with them, especially more communication at the moment of play. We would have liked not to feel those little nerves when we played. However, we didn't have any other opportunity to see them because the world stopped in 2020. We talked for some time, but eventually, things cold down when we moved. After that, my husband and I have had many fantasies that we hope to do in the future. We know that parties or large groups are not our things and it's more about finding really close friends to play with... we'll see what the future holds😊

Another thread got me thinking... I wish it hadn't because I get headaches easily when I do that Anyway - is it "unfair" for the married male to go "sans sheepskin" in a MFM with his wife while the single guy gloves up? Would it be more equitable to slide one on yourself? Should you reserve your tube-free love-making to your bedroom only - or is your wife's parts a free play zone for your "jungle Jim"? I hadn't really thought of this - and have always simply saved my condoms for another day when a threesome presented itself, with my wife being the lone female in the room. But is this wrong? And single guys - how do you feel about being asked to "glove up" when the action starts and the mister is still "feeling the breeze, au naturale"? We had a single guy once who, after discussing the fact that we only play with condoms, try to go in commando. I wrote it off as a "heat of the moment" mistake - but oddly, he couldn't get it up after my stern reminder. Could he have been confused by the "double standard" that I was presenting? I think I know how this thread will go - but who knows - I could be surprised. Either way, it should make an interesting topic. Spoomonkey

I'm angry with myself for what happened in my last swing. My husband and I were at another couples home for a night of sex. We have been with this couple about 4 other times so I thought I knew what to expect. We always use condoms even though I'm on the pill. Well during foreplay I was feeling very good and was loosing myself in it and my parnter was parting my legs to enter me after he did oral sex. I was completly relaxed and almost out of my head after the pleasure I just experienced so I didn't really notice that he wasn't wearing a condom. My husband didn't catch it either and he entered me and after a few thrusts I began to realize that he didn't have a condom on. I put my hand between my legs to verify this and I couldn't feel the rubber so I began to move my body so I could expell him out but to my regret I didn't tell him to verbally stop. I'm starting to sit up (we are in the missionary position) when he has his orgasm and releases sperm into me. I am horrified and immediately get up and start yelling at him and my husband stops what he is doing and is upset by what had happened. We haven't seen this couple again but I am angry with myself for not stopping him sooning or saying anything because I was caught up in my pleasure. A warning to everyone to be careful. Thankfully nothing bad happened as I was on the pill....... What would other people do in this situation? I would like your comments.

My wife can't use any form of birth control. Hormones cause clotting and the copper IUD was horribly painful for months on end. So I got a vasectomy back in December. For mostly STD prevention, we've both agreed to be what another guy in the lifestyle called a "condom-only couple" for intercourse. However, we also need condoms to prevent pregnancy as well. In the same conversation this guy told me about a time that he and his wife had swapped with another couple and the male half removed his condom mid-sex and tried penetrating her again. She covered her pussy and wouldn't let him. I'm curious how common something like that is in the lifestyle? If a couple agrees to wearing condoms for intercourse is that typically stuck to or are a lot sneaky and try pulling it off along the way? Thanks!

Excuse me if this has already been discussed to death, but reading the poll about reasons NOT to use condoms got me thinking about further statistics on condom use. As you may know, Hubby and I are very new at this...so new, we have not engaged in any sexual activity with other people. However, we have talked A LOT about the possibility of engaging soft/hard play with a single male or female, or potentially down the road with a couple. In our discussions, we have discussed whether we will demand the use of condoms, but at this time we're still unsure. My question to those of you that use condoms, do you use them for oral, penetration, both, or not at all and what is your reason as to why you chose to use/not use them in that way? I'm asking because I know STD's can be passed both orally and through penetration, but it appears from that previous poll, that there are swingers out there (couples and singles) that use a condom for penetration, but not for oral. I would just really like to hear the reason's why in hopes to help us make our decision. Thank you for taking time to respond and again, please forgive me if this has been discussed to death already.

We played with a couple where the woman could still get her period. She offered to play bareback, but I said I play with condoms and she consented no problem. However, after a raucous reverse cowboy session, she got off me with the condom in her. Can I assume she uses another form of birth control? I guess I could have asked. She did not seem alarmed.

We are relative newbies, posted previously on wife's potential negative feelings after swinging and got many great responses. We have played a couple times with two other couples, kinda soft swap, I have received oral from the other woman but my wife was not quite ready to do the same for other man... they knew this before we started playing so all was cool and we all had a great night. Wife enjoyed our swinging experience each time with no issues too. We are off to a swinger club in a few weeks and we are happy to hook up and play with another couple and have fun, we have talked about my wife potentiality giving oral to another man, I tell her that it would be a turn on for me and she is struggling to understand that at the moment and she is unsure if she will feel comfortable to perform it on another man, that if she does cross that line she feels she might only do it if he wears a condom. I wonder have other women felt the same at their early days of swinging when it came to giving oral on another man and if ye had any advice for her on your first experiences of giving oral that might set her at ease and make her feel comfortable that it is ok to get turned on by seeing your wife with another man... Also how weird would it be asking the other guy to wear a condom if that was her request? Thanks in advance for replies.

About a week ago, my wife and I met a nice young black man of about 25 while traveling in Vegas. He was attending a meeting I was at, we met and talked, invited him to drinks with us, and one thing led to another. That evening after dinner and a few more drinks we made it clear that we were open to the idea of Kelly playing around with him, with me being present of course. We are a good bit older than him, in our late 40s. After some discussion, he expressed his interest in giving it a try and we went to our hotel room. We had a cursory talk about what we were looking for and our ground rules, namely that he would wear a condom. Up in our room things started off great. He was a very charming man and clearly Kelly was interested in him. We had a few more drinks, and within maybe an hour she and he were making out on the sofa. Before long, we got up and moved to the bedroom (it was a suite). He and Kelly continued making out on the bed and she and he were both clearly turned on. I was also, and was loving the view from the chair. As things progressed, he undressed Kelly, and before long both were making out fully on the bed, Kelly wearing only her thigh highs. It was so sexy. She was ready for him, and he was ready for her. He got on top of her after giving and receiving some oral and was about to have sex, and I noticed he had on no condom. So I politely reminded him that he needed to put one one. He gave me a look which in retrospect I should have paid more attention to. It was sort of a look that said "come on, man", not a look that implied he had forgotten in the heat of the moment. So they paused and he put one one, and then began having sex with Kelly. By this time I was very aroused too. Kelly was really into it and loving it. I had my pants down and was masturbating. They had sex for a while and Kelly had an orgasm. The young man was getting close and so was I. As I was beginning to cum, I closed my eyes for just a little bit and came very strongly. When I regained awareness, The young man was cumming hard inside Kelly, and as he pulled out Kelly and i realized that he was no longer in a condom. It was lying on the bed next to his feet. At first I thought it must have broken or come off inside, but that was not the case. It was right there on the bed. Kelly was mortified and so was I. Alarmed, I asked him about it, with Kelly realizing what had just happened. He just said something like "you know, man, it just felt so good"... and that was it. We didn't really want him in our room at that point, and I guess he could tell that and so he got dressed and just kind of left us with no further explanation. Kelly said she didn't realize the condom had been removed, and from her reaction I believe her. Has anyone ever had this kind of experience with a wife's lover? It is our first, we are flabbergasted that we let this happen and that someone would do this.

Maybe TMI here. We are somewhat new just playing a handful of times. We have attended 2 parties and have played with two couples alone. Both of our one on ones were without protection. Parties play was safe only (mostly safe). When my husband and I are alone we haven't use protection in forever. Birth control and both of us being fixed. We really never had to deal with stopping in the middle or mood busting. I sort of don't remember the hassle and what the implications of using a condom were. We have enjoyed our sex life and what we do in bed. We have easily gone from one position to another, oral to sex back to oral. We both enjoy oral so we sometimes stop in the middle of sex and return to oral. My most enjoyable orgasm come from me on top and from oral. My husband says he many times thinks he cums the most from oral so even after having sex he like me to continue with oral. It is just our way. I told him to me I couldn't tell the difference during the sex act, once we are in the act I felt the same. He said it is completely different. He said he lost the feel of the woman and the heat of her body. He also missed the changing of going to oral and back again. He never even went there knowing that a blow job with a condom is stupid to him. I asked him if he would rather we don't go to these parties again. He was honest and said he liked the idea of swinging but he just has to get used to the condoms. He also said we had been with 2 of the couples with using so isn't the use of them with other couples a waste.

Hello everybody, we are new to the swinger community, but we would like to make our first experiences. We are just a little concerned about VDs when swapping, because the condom could break or slip off. Did this happen to you? Did you notice it? Would you say that breaking or slip off can be avoided, when using them accurately? Thanks! Jenny and Marc

When you swap mates do you use condoms for intercourse?

As a swinger, it seems easier and more acceptable for couples to engage in safe sex and request for condoms to be used. I can only think of one time where a couple expressed unhappiness about using condoms. However, I can see where a request for condoms might see more resistance in a polyamory situation. For swingers, the primary reason is to avoid STDs/STIs and a secondary reason is to preserve bareback sex with their spouse...or what can also be called fluid bonding. In a poly situation, if each partner within the poly relationship doesn't swing with others but there is still a request for condoms-only for certain partners and not for others, there might be a few questions like: you're intimate with me emotionally, why not go all the way and be fluid bonded; why preserve fluid bonding for the primary (question about hierarchy); and don't you trust me enough to fluid bond with me? What do you think? Do you think the issue of using condoms is easier for swingers than it is for those in poly relationships? Or do you think it's the same?

This is not the typical condom question poll there are others for that. What I want to know is what kind of condom you use .

Hello, welcome to a little poll and discussion about "principles vs the heat of the moment". Are swingers very disciplined concerning principles like for example always using condoms? What happens to your principles when things actually happen: a party, a little drunk, sex everywhere... The discussion should not be limited to condoms, but all broken principles and arrangements are the topic, e.g. only soft swap, no kissing, never in different rooms, always this, never that, and so on ...

In the chat tonight we started talking about why people DON'T use condoms, so I thought I'd post this poll here for everyone who doesn't use condoms or only uses them part of them to just see why. Please don't turn this into a debate over whether or not they effective. Post your reasons and leave it at that... no need to debate.

Seen a lot of different threads on here about who uses condoms and who doesn't. Reality is the test. This poll is completely private. (We don't know who you are!!!) So please vote!!! We've been to quite a few different types of lifestyle parties and wanted to know who uses condoms and who doesn't or somewhere in between!!!!

We are 40-somethings, less than six months into the lifestyle. But we've played plenty in that time. Met a couple a a party last weekend. 50-somethings, and plenty experienced. We got to talking and touching in the pool. While Mrs. DontStop and the male continued pool play, I led the female upstairs. Since it was obvious from the underwater action she was ready to mount me right there, I told as we headed up that we play safe. She said ok, but her husband didn't have any condoms. We played upstairs and later they joined us. After some time he was ready to mount Mrs and we stopped him and said "You gotta wrap it first." He didn't say much after that, and within in a few minutes he said he was taking a break and left the room, and us in a FMF situation. Did we fail here, not expressing safe play to him ahead of time?

Swingers’ club ideal science lab: researcher | Posted | National Post Over two nights, the University of Ottawa nursing professor observed mostly affluent, 40-something couples mingle in the lounge area of a local swingers’ club, then migrate to upstairs rooms. Dispassionately recording “field notes” on the action, Prof. O’Byrne espied swingers who practised vaginal, anal and oral sex, and tried to gauge how often his research subjects used a condom.

Generally accepted rule in swinging seems to be to play it safe and when doing full swap and going for intercourse with your swing partners. When ready to fuck the man puts on a condom on his penis, or, alternatively slips one in her (his swing partner's) vagina (female condom) when he is ready to sink his dick in his swing partner's pussy and fuck his/her partner to orgasm. Under what circumstances do you relax this unwritten rule (no condom, no fucking) and fuck him/her bareback without the latex getting in the way of full unprotected and unhindered raw contact between your penis and her vagina during intercourse? The intercourse without condoms is arguably the most enjoyable way to have sex since the man's penis can sense the warmth and moisture of the woman's vagina as the penis gets bathed in her vaginal juices, facilitating and making intercourse pleasurable to both partners. We prefer fucking our sex partners bareback when swinging provided we know the couple and are comfortable that there is very little or no chance of contracting STD. Else, condoms are a must if you are going to do full-swap of mates and fuck your play partners. Not quite a few ladies prefer to suck the man's dick clean after it flops out of the female's vagina after orgasm. We have experienced some ladies who just love to tongue the cum-filled pussy and eat the thick mixture of the man's semen and the woman's vaginal juices as it oozes out of her wide-open pussy. This would be virtually impossible if the man is wearing a condom on his penis and the semen flows into the condom and none of the female's vaginal juices enter the condom. What is your preference as far as wearing condoms are concerned, if you do full swap of mates and fuck your swing partners? Do you always wear condoms for and during intercourse with your partners him/her? Or, do you play and fuck bareback with couples you are comfortable with and feel safe? We would like to hear and find out what percentage of couples use condoms during intercourse, no exceptions, and how many go either way depending upon circumstances.

Hi, guys. Long-time lurker, first-time poster. My wife and I have shared a long-time fantasy involving her blowing a room full of guys. Until recently, this was nothing more than a fantasy we would share in the "heat of the moment." But recently, we decided to turn this fantasy into a reality. We recruited a bunch of single guys from a popular swinger's web site, picked a date, and planned to book a hotel room. However...the closer we got to this date, the colder our feet became. So we contacted all the guys to let them know the "event" has been put on hold. The issue for us is the threat of contracting some nasty STD. We've done extensive reading on the subject, and every legitimate site advises you to never have oral sex without a condom, dental dam, etc.. But let's face it -- they HAVE to give you that advice. Of course there is a risk of contracting an STD through oral sex, and to advise someone to have unprotected oral sex would be considered reckless. But realistically, no one wants to use a condom or dental dam for oral sex. (It would ruin our fantasy, frankly.) No couple we have ever been with has used protection for oral sex. And no one really knows the risk factors involved in having unprotected oral sex (because most people don't limit their exposure to only oral sex.) In reality, some STD's can (and are) transmitted through kissing, hot tubs and even skin-to-skin contact. And statistics show that more than half the people in the US over age 21 have some form of STD. Some STD's don't show up in testing, and others don't reveal themselves through symptoms for weeks, months or even years (if ever.) So most people with STD's don't even know they have them! We've also read that when performing unprotected oral sex, it is safest to either swallow the cum immediately (letting the stomach acid kill the bacteria) or spit it out immediately. Either way, you are risking exposure to STD's through the exchange of bodily fluids and the thin membranes in the mouth and throat. So, whether you spit, swallow or stop before it gets to the point, you are equally at risk. The thing is, as swingers, she has sucked several dicks without protection. Were they safer because they were married dicks? Are married guys safer than single guys? If a married guy's wife sucked a dozen dicks the week before you met them, wouldn't having sex with her be just as risky as sucking a dozen dicks yourself? I guess my question is: is there any more risk in blowing a room full of single guys than having sex with a married couple who may have had unprotected sex with dozens of others prior to meeting you? Is there a "safe way" to fulfill this fantasy of ours? Or are some fantasies better left as fantasies? You all give great opinions here, and we value your advice. Thanks in advance.