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Hi again, Just some hours ago, i posted a question on preventing pregnancy when swinging. Got the hint to search the old posts for this topic and I found lots of information. What surprised me most is that there are some swinger actually thinking about or playing with the risk to become pregnant with a swinging partner. I have to admit that it is a naughty and somehow tempting idea to play the real game, but I think I will never consider doing this. Until now I thought of swinging as only fun... -
OK, I’m not really ‘Bi’, but I am curious and it says so in my profile. I even go so far as to explain that it’s situational, and I am really wanting to see what it’s like to handle, fondle, and suck another guy in front of my wife. She wants to see it too. We are looking for someone to experience that with. It may turn out that I hate it, and will never do it again. I doubt it though. It’s far too intriguing to me to be a one time thing. But every single person that has contacted us has labeled himself ‘straight’. Some even say ‘very straight’. Then why are you contacting me/us? If you’re curious, at least say so in the e-mail. Does this happen to everyone? Or just me/us?
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I just heard an idea from a couple of putting in their profile that they are soft-swing only even though they are actually full-swap, for the purpose of eliminating any contact from swingers who were just out for the sex and not looking to actually develop relationships/friendships. What is your take on this? How would you feel if you were a soft-swinging couple that contacted this couple? Or if you were a full-swap couple that suddenly found out that this couple was now an option when you might have thought otherwise based on their profile? How do you feel about this type of deception, is it ok?
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When had been swinging about five years we started meeting with people on another site. We always had a meet and greet at a neutral bar or restaurant. We had been chatting online and decided to meet them at bar in a nearby city. We had seen pics and they were an attractive couple, him over 6 feet and she was an attractive blond. We met at the time and place, only it was just Jim no Stella. He walked in and we got up. He gave Tits a hug and shook my hand with his bear paw. We sat down and he explained his wife had to work late but would drive over in a bit. We were sitting at a circle booth and I was on one side of Tits, with him on the other. The conversation was fun and naughty. After the second drink came, we were laughing and having a nice time when I noticed Tits took a deep breath and jumped a little, but then smiled and giggled at his jokes. He kept saying how hot she is and took a quick squeeze of her D cup boob. He kept reaching over and shaking my hand telling him how lucky I am. After the third round his phone rang and he answered it saying: "Hi honey, what? How long? Ok, I will explain to them." He set his phone on his lap. He said Stella was going to be very late and maybe we could get together soon. He sat for a few more minutes, reaching around Tits shoulder gave her a one arm hug, and after a minute he put his phone in pocket and shook my hand again. I sat there after he left and said, "What the hell was that all about?" Tits replied, "We got played!" "What do you mean?" I asked. She said, "When he first hugged me he felt my tit away from you. Then after the first round of drinks he put his big hand on my leg and started rubbing my thigh. As you know I was not wearing a bra or panties but I was surprised when we did a toast and he put his hand on my pussy. Pretty soon he had a big finger in my pussy but I figured it was a warm up for when his wife got here. After third round he had two fingers in me every time he leaned over to shake your hand and tell you how lucky you are. He would rub his arms on my nipples and drive his fingers deeper. Then I noticed a guy across the bar from us that had his phone sitting sideways like he is watching tv. I think he was filming Jim finger bang in me. Then when his phone rang when his wife called the other guy was on phone. His wife had a very low voice also. Then I think he took his phone under the table and took pics of my pussy and before he got up to leave he put my hand on his very large cock so I rubbed it then he squeezed my tit again and left right after the other guy left. We got played by these guys and I am sure that was not the first time for them. Too bad, I would have fucked the hell out of that big cock… Live and learn." The profile was removed soon after.
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Anyway, we've been lurking and posting here for awhile now but now we're in a spot where we could use some advice. Been an active member on a few boards to know that by the end of this discussion there will have been too much advice to follow. But maybe we don't need advice but just to vent? Anyway, we've been flirting with the idea of swinging for years, and a couple of months ago we made the first step: we went to a swinger's club. My wife seemed a bit skeptical about the whole thing, but once in she seemed to like the atmosphere, the eroticism and the omnipresent sexuality and lack of inhibitions. We ended up having great sex with each other in the playroom and had a couple of weeks of awesome sex after. As we were walking out the club she mentioned that she still doesn't know why would people have sex with others. I had to be a smart ass and tell her that they probably started out just like us. Anyway, we went to the club a couple more times and just watched others while being watched playing with each other. Then one night at the club, our table became somehow popular, we had a great time, met some new people, tried to make a new couple comfortable by telling them about our first time there and how nobody talked to us. Anyway, we went to the playroom, decided to play with each other as usual, but since the swing was taken(we wanted to try that) we ended up in the big pool table size bed. Shortly after some other couples came and before we knew it the whole room was now an orgy. While I was having sex with my wife, I felt that she was very turned on, so I motioned to a guy that was available that it was ok to have oral with her. She went for it and that was so arousing that shortly after I felt the need to see her having sex with another man, so I went and got a handful of condoms, placed them on the bed next to the guy and told him to use one and have sex with my wife. I watched as he put on the condom and entered her, then I noticed a lady next to us and she said it's ok for us to play. At one point however, I tried to kiss her but she wouldn't so that turned me off and decided to go back to watching my wife with another man. Then I realized he wasn't wearing a condom, I asked him why isn't he wearing one and told him he needs to stop. I didn't wanna make a scene since it was our first time with other people and I was afraid my wife will freak out thinking I had a jealousy fit. I know I have a bad temper and didn't wanna scare her. So we just left the club. Soon after, we found out that the couple we slept with are known as predators, that they don't play nice and are banned from any other club in town. All our online friends wished they were there to warn us. My wife is still breastfeeding and wasn't on any birth control then. We don't believe in abortion and the two of us have unprotected sex with each other all the time. We do have young children and wanna be able to raise them and we need our health for that. We decided to keep playing and we went to a new club that's a bit more selective of it's members. We don't wanna ever go back to the first club. While it's too late to undo what's done, confronting the guy over the bareback issue doesn't make sense to me. It's my word against his, he'll simply deny it. Some friends told us that the owners of the club wanna talk to us about this issue. Anybody and their dog knows that these two are bad news, and that they prey on newbies, since the experienced won't have anything to do with them. They are banned from all other clubs yet the owners of this club didn't banned them and didn't care to warn us about it. Other members didn't warn us about them either. We've been thru hell the past 3 weeks waiting for a negative pregnancy test, and it is negative. But we have cold sweats with any itch that got or not to do with the crotch area. It sucks tho, it was our first experience and totally not what we were looking for. We changed clubs and our friends are asking us to go back to the first one but we just don't want to. We think it was the owner's duty to keep us safe and they didn't do that when they allowed people with a bad rep, that were banned from other clubs to be members and didn't at least warn us. We feel they sold us out for an entrance fee. -
A question about "players" on the swinging scene... We know that swinging (for most people) is mostly about the sex and enjoyment, so with sex being obvious end goal we didn't really expect to be finding what one might call a "player" in the traditional dating sense of the term. Background on us, we have been exploring the swing scene for about 2-3 months with a soft swing our only direct experience. Have currant rule of only playing together & safe sex (condom with pen). Ms looking4fun was chatting on a swing chat site with a guy a who invites her to chat via skype, she agrees. Things proceed for a couple of days seemingly innocuous chat where he claims to be inexperienced and shy, but they seem to have a lot in common so they keep chatting. Then things turn a bit riskier. He admits he has had previous swing experience (contrary to the image he put forward earlier of being shy and inexperienced) where he played solo with a female a couple of times before her partner joined as well. He then prompts ms looking4fun that he would like to play alone with her as he would feel awkward playing as a threesome if he hadn't had sex with her as couple first (knowing we only play together). Later protection comes up. She says our condoms-only rule and he states he doesn't like condoms, they always break etc. and it would be so sexy to cum inside her without one. This has got my alarm bells going a bit. While I still think it might be worth meeting him in person with the possibility of a threesome kept in place if he agrees with our rules, I'm not 100% certain how to handle his attempted manipulation.
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On SLS, vanilla sites, and everyday life I have come across married men pretending they are single. Often I can filter these guys out quickly but looking for tips from others. I like to be sure I am having honest fun.
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(I received the below privately and was asked to post it) "I was at a hotel party and group play was happening when one of the men tried to initiate penetration without a condom. I stopped him and asked him to please put one on. He apologized and said he and his partner were "condom optional." This was not at all discussed previously. While I enjoyed socializing with this couple I never want to have sex with him again. Bareback is the exception to me and never an assumption. I can't give a second chance with my trust. I expect I will likely run into him again and politely decline. I wanted to share my experience, vent a bit, and be open to others input."
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Last night we were chatting with a lady online that we thought was interesting. We obviously asked for a face pic of her and her husband. It became painfully apparent that although they were a nice looking couple, she was lying about their age by at least ten years, and if I was to hazard a guess 15 years or more. I mean it was really egregious. I am not sure exactly what they are thinking. Since this whole thing gets built on trust I am really pretty appalled. Frankly, if you are ready to lie to us in that regard, what happens next? Kinda feel me on this? We are spot on with our age in our profile, and I can see shaving of five? But ten or fifteen, do you really think people are that oblivious, or you are that good looking? I do not know no maybe I am being too offended by this, but I got admit, I am pretty offended. I was wondering who else has run into this, and how they feel? Maybe I just needed to vent. Maybe I just needed to let this be a warning. If you are misreporting your age, it is painfully obvious. Don't do it.- 10 replies
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Over the long weekend the wife and I met a male who we both wanted to play with and when he agreed AND when he mentioned he, like me, was orally bi, we both thought JACKPOT! We finished our drinks, walked down the dock to our boat and headed out of the marina to play. On the way out we all got naked and I watched them fool around a little. Once we got anchored I watched him have sex with the wife a little then we swapped and I had sex with her while sucking him off some. Then he took my place and when I stood up for him to suck me he pulled away and said he wasn't up to do that and that he only allows other males to give him head but doesn't return the favor. THAT WAS NOT WHAT HE SAID LESS THAN 90 MINUTES AGO! I mean the wife flat out asked/said she wanted to watch us suck each other off and he said he was totally up for it! So here's the deal -- did he play me/us just to nail my wife? He didn't flinch or pull away when I went down on him and he certainly didn't have a problem with having sex with my wife while I watched! I mean is this a common occurrence to meet a guy, have him basically lie about being bi just to nail your wife???????? -
Maybe this is just a vent post, and hope that's ok, but as we venture into SLS, I've gotta ask- why do women blatantly lie about their weight??? I'm not saying I can tell you to the pound how much someone weighs, but if you post that you're 180 and you are obviously, clearly not less than like 250, do you think folks won't notice?? I mean I fudged like 7 lbs on my own profile lol, but I'm just baffled as to why someone would do that so significantly (especially when they have posted photos). There are so many people who enjoy beautiful women of all shapes and sizes, I just don't get the deception. It goes both ways, too- I've actually almost gone right past profiles where she's listed as like 120lbs (mostly because I'm new to this and therefore am a bit self-conscious about at least my first experience being with a woman who is significantly more slender than myself) and then catch site of a pic and realize "oh wow no she's definitely fluffier than 120, yay!" Vent over lol -sincerely, 172lb woman who's listed as 165 haha
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Okay, so I should preface this with the fact that I have never liked my breasts. Mr.Prufrock loves them and says they're perfect, but I've always been a little embarrassed about them. I am a larger woman, but my breasts didn't get that message (the boob fairy forgot me.) They started out almost B cup, now after two kids, at least they're a respectable C cup. But position wise on my chest, my breasts have always been slightly farther apart then they should be (not sure how else to explain that.) Recently, while having a fun naughty shopping trip with Mr. Prufrock, I found an AMAZING bra. I'm not kidding guys, tits up to my chin, for once in my life, I loved the way my breasts looked. It pushes them together so I get lovely cleavage, and it makes me feel sexy as hell, which is a wonderful feeling! Here's my problem... is it deceptive to wear it? I may be overthinking this, but when the bra comes off, they droop a little (I have had two kids after all) and separate. I don't think I look weird, by any means, but they're not perky Mr. Prufrock and I haven't gone to a club yet, but I don't want to meet a couple while wearing the bra, only to have their enthusiasm vanish as soon as the bra does. I've already decided that spanx and the like aren't going on. A) they're uncomfortable, and not sexy and B) if the idea is to get naked with these people they're going to see what I look like with out the sucky-inny thing (as I like to call them) anyways, and it would really be false advertising to wear one. So wouldn't the bra fall under that category? What do you guys think? Should I go with the bra or not?
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Reading JustAskJulie's thread about bisexual and bi-curious females in the LS has reminded me of an issue we have encountered while researching couples on another LS site. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what are the opinions out there. We have been members of AFF off and on and have met some really nice couples and made some lasting friendships. As we are a straight couple, there really does not appear to be a lot of other "advertised" straight couples on this and other LS sites. We have found a lot of couples advertise the female as either bi-curious or bisexual in their profile. However, after making contact and chatting with some of these couples, we quickly learn that the female is relieved to learn that Mrs Trophy is definitely not into any female play at all. When we ask as to the reason why the female is profiled as either bi-curious or bisexual, the usual reply is, "well quite frankly, we had previously never received any interest in us as a straight couple until we indicated the female as bi." Don't get us wrong here, we definitely have nothing against anyone bi-sexual or bi-curious. We do not judge anyone, especially when we don't want to be judged ourselves. Our adage has always been to each their own as long as everyone is enjoying themselves and no one is getting hurt or feel offended. However, is it really necessary for a straight couple to update the female profile in such a manner just to attract attention? In our opinion, it would be better to be open and up-front as to your actual intention when trying to attract the attention of another couple. After all, I could see another couple possibly being offended if there was an expectation of female-female play and it became a awkward situation when the couples actually met. In other words, don't put it out there if you do not intend to follow through. Any other thoughts?
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New to this scene, remarried for 4 years to the man of my dreams - the best lover I have ever had, very knowledgeable, sensual and will do just about anything to please me - he is into anal and so am I and I have so enjoyed playing with him - he has introduced me to so many other new things. Years ago (with my ex) I had a disastrous threesome with a former friend, and my take-away from that was that some things are just better left a fantasy. So I fantasize about lesbian sex but truly have no desire to act on it. I sometimes share these fantasies with him but not so much lately (more on that later). He fantasizes about being the "bottom" in a MM sexual encounter and is obsessed with finding a FMM experience (for himself, not me). Last week I found out he was posting and replying to CL ads for casual sex looking for the other M for his fantasy. I was devastated - not that he was interested in men, obviously, because he has shared that with me (tho after we were married:() but because of the deception. He is taking the steps to make his fantasy a reality and I am in the dark. For more than a year he has been bringing up going to a local swing club, and I have brought up all the reasons why I am really not that interested - we are older, not Ken and Barbie, the scene at the club seems younger, there was a violent incident there not long ago, and really, the bottom line (no pun intended) is that for right now, I really don't want to have sex with anyone but him. Before you'll go thinking I am a prude or conservative let me assure you I am not - I am a live and let live sort - I do not judge others - I have some fairly kinky desires but they happen to revolve around him, period. For instance, before I met him I was always hoping I would find someone who would enjoy letting me play with his butt, because that is a real turn on for me - so like I said he IS the man of my dreams, quite literally. However, the thought of someone else touching me sexually is a real turn off for me. And I am no kid - I know who I am - like Jessica Rabbit said "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way" LOL I have shared ALL of this with him, multiple times. He has told me he only wants to have this MM experience if I am with him - but my rule is if you want to really know a person, forget all their words and just look at their deeds. When you apply that rule here you can see my dilemma. The thought of a FMM encounter leaves me tepid, at best - and at worst it scares me - what if he decides that this is really his sexual orientation? We have friends who "came out" in middle age, left their families and started over. All of which I pointed out to him when I told him I had seen his emails. His position is that he has done nothing wrong, that my disinterest left him no other choice. He feels I have criticized him for having these feelings, but when I ask him when and how, he cannot remember. I never meant to make him feel bad for sharing with me, but before this I always felt that we were a team - that we had each others backs, and that we would work our way through this together. I certainly wasn't going to deny him this pleasure he wants so badly, but it was how to go about it and when that was hanging me up. This past year has been a very tough one for me for other reasons, so admittedly I put this situation on the back burner. I can see now that this is going to happen, with or without my consent or participation. It may already have happened - I cannot really trust his word right now - he is so obsessed I think his judgment might be impaired. I have already found many answers here - like why do people swing? (sex, intimacy, excitement, relief from monotony) How do they keep their relationships solid? (communication, rules, boundaries, trust) What is fidelity? is it physical, emotional, both? What constitutes sex? (jury is still out on that one). I have learned many new terms and acronyms:). I have also seen how over-eager pushy partners shoot themselves in the foot by thinking only of what they want and need, and not what their partner is really truly ready for. And I have seen people get into this lifestyle for all the wrong reasons - trying to please their partner, fear of loss, ambivalence, boredom, and using it as an escape from a relationship that is flawed and unhappy. So, I am working my way through the deceit - getting tested for STD's tomorrow, reminding myself to be scrupulous with my words, to not make assumptions. I have asked him, as a stop gap measure, to please BCC me on all future CL communications, he agreed but again I have little confidence in his truthfulness right now. I figured then I could at least not feel like a cuckold spouse, and who knows, maybe he will find the perfect, DDF, NSA man to initiate him. Still not sure where that leaves me - whether I would want to be there or not, participate or not. Some questions for the forum: Have you ever gone into a swing scenario with this degree of trepidation I describe, and found that you actually enjoyed yourself? Have any of the women out there been through this particular FMM situation, and can they offer additional information? I make this gender specific, because I know full well that in reverse, you guys cannot feel my pain ("yeah, my wife is totally obsessed with hooking up with another chick on CL so she can experience lesbian sex, she insists that I be there" - righhhhtttt). Any other examples of rules and boundaries that you experienced swingers use? How do you enforce them? My sweet man is hurt and vulnerable about all of this, and I do not want to make him feel any worse, but I kind of need some extra assurances that there will be no more secrets. Ideas? How do you rebuild trust after something like this? At this point, with the direction things have taken, I almost think that I should go with him to a swing club or encourage him to find a M to pre-empt another episode of quasi-infidelity - is that a totally crazy idea? -
Ok, here’s moral puzzle for you to ponder involving honesty with anonymous sex partners. At swingers clubs you meet guys all the time that claim to be firemen, Navy seals, surgeons, etc, and you meet men and women that claim to be 35 when they’re clearly over 40. Many couples fib about their experience level, weight, dick size, careers, etc., to try to snag a shag in the backroom. I feel this is ok, and to some degree even expected. But here’s a “misrepresentation” that may raise a moral question for some, and I solicit your opinion. We have a girl-toy who loves the adult theater/dogging/gloryhole/gangbang scene, and that’s why she occasionally hangs out with us on our adventures. She’s drop-dead gorgeous – a natural beauty with thick long blond hair, small but perfectly shaped breasts, long silky legs, and a killer ass. She stands over 6’ tall with her 4” pumps, and knows how to dress to ooze out every morsel of her sexiness – apparel that is so intimately linked with her sexuality that she never takes it off no matter how many guys are in line for her. Her voice is eerily seductive sounding more suited for a fat black Gospel singer rather than an Arian looking girly-girl. Her facial features are stunning in their breadth and depth with giant sparkly blue eyes, a huge smile, and large puffy lips. Under her baby smooth skin is a layer of chubbiness that perfectly fills out her curves and gives her softness to the touch that magnetizes men’s hands. When guys look at her their jaws drop like that of a broken ventriloquist dummy. Whereas most adult theater girls prefer it from behind (no intimacy, highly depersonalized), she fucks face to face at adult theaters, and when she reaches those long legs out to the next guy in line and closes them around him like a Venus Fly Trap his face floods with that “this is too good to be true” look. And all of this beauty is natural with the exception of some cosmetic surgery she had on her neck. She’s in her 40s, but she looks about 25 … and allows everyone to think that. But that’s not the big lie. The big lie is that she’s actually male. She lives as a woman, and there is absolutely no way to tell she’s not genetically female just by looking at her … unless you look at the right spot. The only masculine feature she has is a penis and testicles. She is so convincing that she works as an erotic dancer at a bi-friendly club. At swingers clubs and adult theaters, I watch in amazement as she takes a guy face to face, her legs wrapped around his back like lobster claws, his hands roaming everywhere on her body, and French kissing as he fucks his way to paradise, without the guy ever knowing that he just came in a shemale’s ass rather than a woman’s pussy. And she’ll do this some 20 times in a row at such venues. That’s a big part of her enjoyment – knowing that the guys think she’s a genetic woman. How is this possible, you ask? Well, first of all she’s not gay and not bi. She self-identifies as a female born in a male’s body. She began cross-dressing at around 5 years old because being a girl “felt natural”. She always looked like a girl, and always conducted herself like one. She had her first sexual experience at age 12, giving a blowjob to a handyman working at their home. He thought she was a girl, something that excited her more than the sex itself. It was then that she decided to officially change her gender. Fortunately she had supportive hippie parents who allowed her live as a girl outside of school. Ridicule and bullying forced her to drop out of high school. Then she lived as a girl permanently. When she turned 18 she began hormone treatments, had her Adam’s apple fixed, and legally changed her name to a female name (which I will keep secret, but for this post I’ll call her Sally). 25 years of hormone treatments have shaped her already naturally unmasculine body into that of a super female, yet she still has testicles … and they produce large amounts of testosterone, giving her female sex drive an aggressively male edge. Ok, but what about the cock and balls? How does Sally fuck face to face wrapped around a guy fucking what he thinks is a woman’s vagina? Well that’s done with a brilliant piece of modern technology. By outward appearance it looks like a sexy corset. Like many corsets it has a cloth crotch strap that starts in the back, goes down between the butt cheeks, loops between the legs, runs up the front, and laces just above the tummy. And, like many corsets, the crotch strap has a slit cut in it so that intercourse can be performed without having to undo the strap. But unlike regular corsets, this crotch strap is specially designed to firmly tug the scrotum and penis upwards towards the belly button. Under the corset there is a second strap that secures the scrotum and penis against the belly. The front part of the corset where the crotch strap fastens is lined with thick foam pads that surround the cock and balls, eliminating any bulge. Attaching a feminine napkin to the inside of the crotch strap will prevent an ejaculation from soaking through the corset. Try this guys – tug your scrotum up towards your belly button and use a mirror to look between your legs. What you will see will amaze you. The skin on the bottom side of your scrotum melds into the bottom of your butt crack and looks very much like vaginal labia. Now if that structure was under a crotch strap with a slit in it, what would appear through the slit would very closely resemble a woman’s vagina. And if you stuck your finger in the slit it would slide right up between the bottom lobes of your butt crack which, with proper lubrication, would feel like a vagina to someone who’s expecting a vagina. The illusion is so convincing that a man might even go down on her without knowing, although she never allows that risk to be taken. Thus, when Sally is about to be fucked, she wraps her legs high up on the man’s back, raising them almost vertically. This puts her anus directly into the penis’s thrust line. So when he pushes in, the penis goes between the bottom butt lobes and travels about 1 inch to penetrate into the rectum. Just to assure a very astute fucker doesn’t notice the subtle differences, especially in tightness, she distracts him with very passionate French kissing throughout. Fucking in this position has the added advantage that the man’s thrusting grinds against her belly to belly, and therefore grinds against her cock, assisting in the induction of her own orgasm. I have watched her ruse work at adult theaters, dogging sites, and at a swingers club that has “gangbang” nights. She always goes to venues with subdued lighting and frantic guys. She goes dogging at night, which even makes me a little uneasy. Never goes to a house party, or anywhere “high risk”. For Sally, “high risk” means high risk of getting “outed”. For her, a huge part of the excitement is being taken as an actual woman. So, what do you think of this misrepresentation? My husband and I never blow her cover. We play along with the ruse. My very non-gay husband even fucks her on occasion to “break the ice” for the group. What do you think of us playing along with her ruse? I noticed in another thread many couples felt compelled to “out” a person with an STD. Does this moral compunction extend to outing a gurl? Should a sense of honesty outweigh loyalty to a friend? And if “body misrepresentation” is a moral issue, does this extend to women with breasts implants? Or men with cock rings?
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I've been married playing single for awhile. My wife doesn't know. It surprises me the hatred that simple statement generates in swinger circles. I just say it up front so if it's an issue we can all move on without the drama. And drama it is. The female of the couples generally have no problem telling me what a piece of shit I am. I had a mistress, also married, and would swing as a couple. We were great swingers but we had to keep our secret. When a few people found out, they were mad at her for lying and mad at me for being an asshole piece of shit cheating husband. There is a double standard.
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Ok for starters I need to be upfront in that I am not a poly and we do not swing or play alone at all and neither one of us has ever had any intentions or aspirations of finding a girlfriend or boyfriend on the side. But another thread got me thinking about this question. For the guys that are looking for a girlfriend on the side with permission from their wife, do you think some of them would be more successful at finding that FWB or GF if they lied about having permission and were pretending to cheat? I mean this seems really ironic in that as swingers we claim to value honesty and openness and look at cheating and adultery with disdain but as was pointed out by Julie on another thread, a lot of people just can't handle the truth. Some actually want to believe that they are cheating and that they are "the other woman." Once some learn the truth that they have permission and it is all right the relationship ends. In other words they would rather be with an adulterer having an affair than be a FWB or GF with someone playing with permission. While we try to claim it is all sanctioned and authorized, most of the general public has an easier time accepting adultery. For women it's easy to get FWBs on the side but for guys a lot of women run if a guy tries to explain his wife is ok with it. While I can not condone dishonesty or deceit, is the reality of the situation that a guy would be more successful at finding a FWB if he were to lie about his permission status and pretend to be a cheater?? That flies in the face of all that I believe in as traditional, play-together swinger but I can see how it may be a reality in the world. What are your thoughts on this? Are there times you are more successful if you are a lamb in a wolf's clothing?
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Hi every one, we have been to a couple of swing club, without participating, but we both enjoyed it very much, due to the fact that we are more voyeur than exhibitionist, but we were quite shy. Any how, we have decided that it'd be fun to "mingle" with an other attractive couple, probably just to watch/be watch at first, and who knows afterward. But my wife really wants it to be spontaneous, and I think the club scene might be too intimidating at first, so I was considering "arranging" something with a couple, that would look like a "hazardous" meeting in Vegas, or so, but it sounds very complicated, and risky. Any advise or idea? Thanks -
In her poll, Julie asked about faking orgasms and MagicEnigma brought up the idea of "exaggerating" orgasms...wondering what the numbers would be for that. Interesting, I thought. So, that's the question...for both men and women...have you ever exaggerated an orgasm?
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My wife and I have been together for 22 years, married 16 and have always had a good relationship. We've been in the LS for just over 4 years. Our first full swap was 3 1/2 years ago. She hit it off with the other guy great; she described him as a tomcat seeking prey. Apparently she likes a somewhat domineering male. Although I was with his wife 1 or 2 times, I really didn't feel the right chemistry, so that was it for me, with exception of some parties we had where it just worked out that I did her. He had asked my wife to call him after that first time, and they have been in in phone contact ever since, once or twice a week, which I had no problem with because my wife has always been upfront with me about all. When it was known that his wife wasn't my type, he told my wife not to tell me that they had phoned each other because he didn't want me going into aol chat and telling his wife that they had been in contact. Apparently he kept things from his wife. My wife tells me everything so I said that wasn't cool at all. Nevertheless, after 1 MFM with my wife and him, I wasn't into him telling my wife to keep things from me, and him going behind his wifes back to do as he wanted. My wife was enamored with him and though I expressed my grave concern that he was cheating on his wife, I allowed my wife to get together with him on occasion, like once every few months over the past few years but still saying I didn't like him keeping this a secret from his wife, as its something I never would do. Fast forward to our local club last month. We were chatting with a couple newly acquainted with us in our off premise club, and they said they knew that other couple (we didn't say anything about my wife being with that guy for the past 3 years occasionally), but the other couple says "we know them, his wife cheated on him a few years back; he found out was pissed and told the other woman and they nearly got divorced over it." Well that was it. When I heard that drama, I said to my wife "that's VERY uncool, and if relative strangers are knowledgeable about their drama, you will probably become known as the other woman of a cheating spouse, and we'll be blacklisted from our local LS community." So anyway, last night I said why don't we have 3 couples over Sat night because we've only gone dancing at our local club for the past month but haven't had any playtime. She said great, and that she had planned to go out on Friday night with this guy if ok with me. I said, here I am thinking about something for both of us on Sat., and she already has made plans for herself on Friday for an intimate encounter. So now I'm thinking that she really only goes along with all our playdates to keep me in the game, so I'll allow her to keep on going with this other guy. I called her out on it, and she says she just really likes him, but if I demand it's over then she'll be mopey and dissappointed, but will have to deal with it. Anyway, we talked some more and as a solution I am trying to convince her to convince this guy to get his wife in on it; I'll do his wife to take one for the team (she's actually very foxxy) for my wife to be happy and see the guy, but for her to keep on going with him while he's doing it all behind her back is just not cool with me. What do you think? Thanks.
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So, my wife and I had our first meet and greet with couple set for this evening at a restaurant. We will most likely be politely declining 'their' company in the future. But before that decision is 'final', I'd like to relay our story and question... The first thing that struck me as odd, was that the guy showed up and when we asked about his wife/gf, he said she flew out to Beijing today or yesterday. Would have been nice for him to have inform us of that BEFORE we had set the 'date' or even when I had called earlier in the day to let him know the reservations were set and would we be seeing them tonight. ('Yes' was the answer.) Second this was originally, at most, a heavy petting date. Conversation was our main focus. It almost went beyond that... here's the way it went down. We kind of clicked with him at first and my wife and I were feeling very comfortable with David during dinner. He was VERY focused on sex and the lifestyle, clubs, parties, etc. Not really surprising considering the reason for the meeting in the first place. As the evening wore on he was flirting and generally playing and caressing my wife, which didn't bother me in the least. I was enjoying her getting excited by another man. Later he suggested we go to our place to get to the heavy petting part if we were all willing. We made it clear that there was to be no intercourse by him. Might not even be any by me as I wasn't quite ready to 'perform' in front of others. As we all began having fun, he seemed to want things a certain way and seemed less and less about pleasing my wife and doing just what she wanted. When it was about at it's hottest, he looked like he was getting ready to bareback my wife while I was working the top areas. I noticed and said 'we don't play there tonight' and he stopped saying he wouldn't and went back to licking and petting. (We purposely didn't bring condoms as my wife and I had agreed to this 'limit' earlier.) More and more it became about what he wanted and soon we had to slow it down and wind down for the evening. As I was cleaning up and taking care of nature, my wife tells me that she had asked about "Pat" his wife/gf and would we be meeting her next time. She had asked him this as she felt it was a bit unfair to me for it to be just him and me with her. He danced around it and mentioned coming back over himself, but not anything about "Pat". I have a two seater and we had left it at the restaurant. When he was driving me back to my car, I (not knowing my wife asked) mentioned it would have been more comfortable for me and my wife if I had a playmate too as I didn't want the two of us guys on my wife all the time. He kind of avoided a direct answer about bringing "Pat" or another of his 'swinging partners', but did talk about bringing condoms 'next time' and me going first, then him on my wife. Generally, as I thought more about it, I got the feeling he was a single male just looking to 'work' on some newbies. Maybe I'm wrong. So I pose the question to all of you... have we been "had"?
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Okay, I have a problem. I think my boyfriend is Bi-sexual... actually I know he is but he hasn't told me yet. I have proof, but I can't show him. I have hinted to him many ways that if he is that I'm okay with it. I have even told him that it would be such a turn-on to see him with another man... but still he hasn't confessed. The worst part is I think he is hooking up with men behind my back, which means he's cheating. I think he is afraid to tell me because we are swingers and he might be afraid that couples would be turned off to us if they knew he liked men too. We have been dating for over a year, so why is he holding back part of himself. Can anyone help shed some light on how to get him to confess? Thanks.
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It I'm trying to figure out if I should pursue swinging as a single female, without telling my boyfriend. This is probably something I can only really decide on my own, but I'm also interested in how this situation will be perceived by others. So here are the dirty details... I've been with my boyfriend for about four years, and I am very much in love with him. I've talked to him before about swinging or something like it and at this point in time it is really not for him. He told me a while back that if I decided to do something with another man that he would rather not know about it. He wants me to be happy, but it's obviously something that he's really not comfortable with, and I wouldn't want him to be something he is not. I know that in general communication is a huge part of this lifestyle. Which is why I can see people having a real problem with my situation. I have met two men for sex recently. I don't feel guilty at all about it, I see it as something I am doing for me, not to him. *sigh* So I don't know exactly what I'm asking, I just don't know where to go from here. -
Ok let me lay some background on our weekend...me and the mrs. went to nashville last night to go tour favorite club and we had fun over all. Met this couple that seemed cool, they were nice, we danced, alot of grinding going on, chemistry seemed to be there, and then we decided to play, so we got a private room at the club. It was really hot watching the other Mrs going down on my wife and some heavy foreplay. Then the other Mrs had not gotten naked yet. Although I soon found myself in a situation finding out that she looked better with clothes on, and I lost the mood totally after that. However, I was polite, this couple finishes with each other anyway, so it just accelerated her going back to her husband. Me and the Mrs... just made out while they finished, and didn't make a seen. We had a fun night anyway, all things considered. I know what does this have to do with profiles. Now if it wasn't bad enough that I was turned off, when we got home, me and the mrs. decided to just go look at the profile SLS and I started reading their profile. I get a couple of minutes into the profile, and my wife points out the weight that they had posted. Don't get me wrong we realize that many probably understate or underestimate by 10 lbs., but this couple had understated by 40-50 lbs on the female half and 20-30 lbs on male half. This just made the situation worse, because I thought I was being nice by not causing a scene. However, now I'm sitting here viewing these individuals as blatant liars. Someone, Please tell me have you found yourself in a situation where you wanted someone to put their clothes back on, and what did you do? (keep in mind, I'm not the Ken doll, and that we really aren't that superficial) Also, More Importantly: Please tell me what are your views on this obviously blatant False Advertising on profiles for swinging/dating sites?:eek:
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Hi all, I am a 29 yr old Caucasian female & my 30ish b/f really enjoys watching me have sex with other men. At first I didn't mind but now it's feeling creepy. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the sex but the 'partners' he is choosing (and I am agreeing to) are getting older and older. A lot of the men agree to the sex but afterwards mentioned that they felt uncomfortable having my b/f watching us. They were not sure that my b/f wouldn't flip out after he or they ejaculated. This is the creepy part; Chuck recently purchased three high quality video cameras that he installed 'hidden' in our bedroom. On the weekends Chuck parks his truck around the corner (like he is not home). Prior to the weekend, I am to invite one of the five men (that we both agreed to having sex with) over our house and act like Chuck is not home. I am to act like I am sexually interested in this man and cheating on Chuck as Chuck is in the back bedroom recording. Chuck is so obsessed with this that last week all he did after work was come up with sexual scenarios of what he wants to see. To reiterate, I am enjoying the sex but am becoming concerned of how obsessed Chuck is becoming with this. Any advice on how to voice my concerns without ruining everything? Thx
