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Showing results for tags 'discouraged'.
Found 8 results
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I am sure this sounds funny, so let me explain. We are fairly new the swing thing, with our first exposure in 2002. It was then I noticed that swinging appears to be all about the women. The bi-girl thing seems to be what connects most couples initially, then if the guys are lucky, they can join in. Well, that seems to work just fine, unless your lady is not bi at all. My lady has no interest in other women, and does not like to flirt with other women. She has been flirted with, and each time she went along with it, to please me, we hit it off with the other couple, soft swing only, and only twice. However, she has decided the girl-girl thing is not her bag. So, on a recent trip to a swingers resort, we were kind of left sitting on the sidelines, while the obvious girl-girl initiated hookups ran wild around us. It seems girls can sense that my wife is not interested and basically avoided us. My attempts to make friends with the other guys, were always cut short by the girls cutting in and taking over the moment. So, back to the question, can a non bi sexual female based couple get into the swing of things, or is it a lost cause.
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We were really clicking with a couple. It was going great. Taking our time. Really getting to know them. Taking the sex part slowly. We decide to have an over night away. We didn’t care if it didn’t go fully to sex...and the wife freaked out. Can’t do. Can’t be open etc..:so had a decent rest of the weekend and such and of course we respect that but I’m getting so tired of putting in time and effort. We had a wonderful poly thing for two years two years ago and we’d love to find it again and I understand you can’t force anything and such but to keep meeting people and putting in time and effort for it to end is getting defeating. -
We have been active as a couple since November. We have met and played with about half a dozen couples since then. While the pre-play lead up, initial touching and foreplay, and actual sex is fun, we're finding it's not as satisfying or gratifying as when we play alone. This includes hotel play, hosting, and clubs. Is this normal? We realize the thrill of a new partner adds a charge to the scenario, but both of us has come away agreeing that it's not fulfilling. Has anyone else experienced this? We are beginning to think that this is good as a diversion/charge to our sex life. However, if there's not a better outcome, we've discussed curtailing our swinging playtime.
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Allrighty, this has come up. I've been married to a wonderful man for 11 years, and together with my secondary partner for 11 months. My partner was the one who first introduced the concept of swinging to me, which I then discussed with my husband. My husband and I have been going to our local club since last November, and have had just a couple of nice swinging experiences. That part is all good. Now we're at the point of being interested in swinging as a triad. We know a couple of couples who know us as a triad. One couple seems pretty cool with the idea on the surface, but we haven't really discussed swinging with them, we're just at the socializing and flirting stages. Flirting has been going VERY well, amongst all parties. On the other hand, the other couple seems reluctant. The man of the couple has even gone so far as to suggest that we "find" another woman for my partner, so that he could be part of an "official" couple. It doesn't really work that way, though. If we put my husband in that situation, how reasonable is it to ask him to find another woman to bring along? Besides which, swinging for us is about exploring within our committed relationship, despite the fact that it's not a typical relationship. We don't really like the idea of playing separately, although I've gone to a house party with my partner when my husband was away for the weekend. We didn't play that night, by prearrangement, just went to flirt and stuff. So, any suggestions as to how we can make this work? Have other triads dealt with issues such as these?
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My wife and I are very new to this lifestyle. We have only had one experience... involving my wife giving oral pleasure to another man while I watched. Anyway, I am very hooked on the idea of watching her play some more with other men and she is very open to it as well. We have attended a couple of the swinger clubs in Arizona and Las Vegas but left the clubs very discouraged. These clubs seemed to attract older couples and men, many of which are far from fit. The younger men were all non-english speaking hispanics and tended to stalk (my wife prefers anglos and loves the physique of black men). We are a white couple in our early 40's, physically fit and are seeking like-minded and, somewhat, physically fit couples and men. Are we just looking in the wrong places or are our standards unrealistic?
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I'm not writing this to offend anybody in this forum, but I've notice or at least here in south Florida, that it's super hard to find attractive women and couples in the swinging world? At the club we go to there are plenty of women with outstanding bodies and figures, but when it comes to the face department, they all need Jesus in their lives and good facial plastic surgeon! Then on the other hand, we will go to a regular dance club and we see good looking, young, in-shape folks all around the club. I wounder if anybody has encountered this before?? -
We had a single male we were interested in contact us on sls about 3 weeks ago. We've done some chatting by email and IM over this time and agreed we'd get together some time this coming week. He also gave us his phone number, but I don't feel comfortable giving ours out to anyone I haven't met yet so I haven't called. He had promised to give us at least 2 weeks notice of the actual date he'd be able to get together (traveling for business) as we need to set up a babysitter and he's well aware of that. I sent a reminder email about needing an exact date 4 days ago, and the last time we heard from him was 2 days before that. I have checked his account at sls and know he's been on daily since that time. At this point, do I try and make further contact? Mr. Play says no because he gets the impression that he's a flake (history of not promptly responding to emails), but I feel bad not giving someone a warning that they're on thin ice with us. I wanted to send a message to his sls account so we'll know for sure he got it and didn't respond. So do I now just assume he's done with us and move on? What if he finally does contact us in the next couple of days and we have the opportunity to get a babysitter, do we go ahead and set up a meet?
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We are at a total loss of words for this and not sure what to say, but we definitely need some advice as quickly as possible. It is probably best to just lay the facts on the table. ~We are new swingers (less than a year). Our first couple that we were with and continue to swing with has several years (guessing somewhere between 3 and 5). ~We prefer to have a friendship with those that we swing with. We have a lot of outside factors in common with this couple. We have maintained an ongoing friendship both in and out of the bedroom. For the last several weeks, through IM/email contact with both of them, it was apparent that something was up. Tonight the F half confided in us that she was only doing "this" for her husband and that she wanted to stop all together. This really shocked us as he seems to be the one who really loves to see her pleased. They never gave this impression at anytime that we have been with them or talked with them, although when I look back some signs were there. (Where do you draw the line). She relayed that she would be willing to "settle" for just one couple with a bi-female. They currently keep themselves booked about twice a week with new couples or singles. (We did not know this until about 2 weeks ago.) She begged us not to let her husband know that she had told us this. We told her she needed to talk to him....and fast! (We didn't know what to say...besides being stunned...We don't have enough experience to offer good advice.) I Lori am pulling my hair out here! We are both discouraged by the fact that we thought they were secure in the lifestyle (in all aspects) only to find out that they clearly are not. She is supposed to call us when her husband will be out of town next week so she can talk with us about it. We think she should be talking with her husband and not us. They are both very nice people, we do not want to hurt their feelings. What do we say? Top that off with the fact that we are now questioning whether or not we want to continue in this lifestyle, as we believed they were comfortable and secure in the lifestyle and we are wondering now if it will kill our own relationship a few years down the road. We are not willing to do that. UGGGGHHHHH! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Lori and Gene
