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Showing results for tags 'discretion'.
Found 54 results
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How do you handle privacy on SLS? I am unsure of whether I should put faces in my pics or not. I just don't want these pictures to be harvested by pic collectors or stalkers or things like that. I am debating on what to do. Any suggestions? -
We were just wondering how many couples, and singles for that matter, use their real names? We do, but have met a few people who do not. We have also met people who use an alias while on the internet but have told us their real names once we met in person. We don't have any issues with this. Just curious as to how popular using an alias name is. It wouldn't work for us, we would forget which name we were supposed to be using! LOL!
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When did you tell your doctor you and your S.O. swing? Are there any interesting/embarrassing/odd/life-affirming moments you would care to share? Very curious as to other people's experiences.
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Michael and I continue to see a therapist both together and separately. Over the years we have both become more open to telling her what experiences and feelings we have with others and the reasons we enjoy others. I will never know what he tells her in his private sessions though I am very open in our joint meetings. We have told her that we post some of our experiences on a swingers site, it’s more me posting, Michael doesn’t post anymore. She asked if I embellish my posts because many post on sites about fantasies more than realities. I think I post real feelings as best as I can but I know what she means that posting has an excitement factor like reliving an event. Others will post something they wished they did almost as if they did it. Michael and I were very hesitant to open up to our therapist our alternative lifestyle thoughts when we first met her. I opened up first in my private meetings and then only in a broad way with no specific acts. I didn’t think she would understand what we were doing or how she would judge me. Therapy was to take away my odd feelings which ended up adding to my thinking my actions were odd. Once getting over my fears of opening up my deep thoughts it has freed up anxiety of enjoying. I think I have a healthier outlook now that I have freed myself of worrying what others think and what a therapist thinks. Our joint sessions are now very freeing allowing me to express my feelings to Michael and understanding his feelings. How open are others? Do others discuss true feelings to a partner? Are you honest to a therapist?
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So I've came across this on TIKTOK, and thought I'd ask in a broader way. Do you have a contingency plan for your adult toys (and I'm adding pictures, correspondences, and other documentary evidence) if you happen to pass away? What will happen to that kind of stuff when you go? Have you even thought about it, or would it even matter to you?
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Ladies heres the dilemma im in... i want to be safe but i also dont want the weird looks etc from being that open. Have you found GYN docs that are understanding of the situation we are in or are they all sort of... well prude. I have approached this conversation with one other doc in the past and it went..... not so good.... so im a little gunshy for sure. Any tips -
Many people blur their faces on pics. We'd like to do that but I'm having trouble. I tried messing around with the pixels in MS Paint. But that's not working. Other than just blacking out our faces and cropping, what are other routes on a windows computer to just slightly obscure/blur faces? Thanks!!
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My husband and I are new to the lifestyle. Our experience on sls when initially talking to couples is that they want to exchange phone numbers right off the bat. Most of the time they're not specifying their names or which of them the number belongs to. It'd be one thing if this happened occasionally but in the past week alone it has happened with 3/4 of the people we've contacted or been contacted by. Is this normal?
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I'm curious as to how many of us have learned THE HARD WAY that it's not a good idea to swing with co-workers. And also, if there are folks here who don't think it's a bad idea, why do you feel that way (have you swung with a co-worker and had it turn out well or have you not done so yet to see the outcome?).
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Our profile on SLS has no pictures as we are not currently playing. The site allows you to see who views your profile and what a shock, one of the profiles was obviously a co-worker (it had a face picture of her). I am NOT the employer. Since we have no pictures I doubt she or her husband recognized whose profile they were looking at. The work relationship is that I am a doctor and she is a receptionist. She is 35 years younger and I would have zero interest in her even if we were active at this time. She and her husband are relative newbies so they might have questions about the lifestyle. I am just wondering what some of you think of the following options: By the way, I did not open their pics, I know what people post and that would be uncomfortable. 1. anonymously contacting them just to offer on line chat as far as advice (nothing to suggest a physical interaction with them) 2. Same as above, but let them know that we know them without outing our identity. 3. Say "Hi, fancy finding you on here!" And of course let them know their secret is safe with us as we expect ours is with them.. 4. Keep my mouth shut and take this to my grave. As I write this, # 2 seems kind of creepy and #3 could make work awkward. Maybe I know the answer and just want someone to tell me to stuff it and let a sleeping dog stay there. Mick
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I know there are a lot of women who enjoy younger men or just single men while their hubbies watch. So, I'm wondering how many enjoy a scenario like this..... NYE, I was at a (vanilla) party a friend of mine was throwing. Because the girl throwing it is much like myself (having more guy friends than girl), the guy girl ratio was a bit skewed (I'm gonna guess at least 7:1). Now, that said, I had a great time, as I'm sure every other girl at the party did. Sometime after midnight a couple comes walking in, they were obviously older than the general population of the party and I don't know if it's just my experience with the swinging world or what but as soon as I saw them the first thought to go through my mind was "swingers" (maybe there really is such a thing as swingdar). As the night progressed the guy often had his camera out and the female half disappeared on more than one occasion. I talked to the guy a bit and he gave off even more of a "vibe" that just continued to enforce my original thoughts. I left fairly early (around 2, from what I understand the party was still going strong at 7 the next morning and then some), but later followed up with someone else who was there who informed me that there was some couple there where the woman had sex with 4 or 5 of the guys at the party while the husband took pictures. The comments from the guy I was talking to made it clear that I didn't think too highly of it. I think it was pretty safe to assume that it was the same couple from earlier in the night. So, while we know that several of the guys obviously didn't mind and did have some fun with this woman, I wonder how many more were having the same thoughts that this guy had (or would have had they been sober enough to think). As a swinger, would you crash a straight party full of guys in this manner? Would you care what others at the party might think of you? Because of the skewed ratio I had several chances to get laid through the night that I didn't take, but would have had it been a swinger party. However, for me, since it was a vanilla party and most of the people where people I had just met I didn't want to leave behind a bad label of myself. Thoughts?
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What is the best way you have found to store your sex toys? We're looking for a great way to do this that considers the following: a) Ease of accessibility b) Portability (we like to "bring it along") c) Privacy (The 8 year old shouldn't know about this just yet) d) Upkeep (nothing worse than a Magic wand with a short in the cable caused by pinching. Thoughts or ideas?!?!?
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After much discussion we are getting closer to making a move into making our fantasy, a reality. She has agreed to meet with another couple or a single guy. The problem now is me. I am so nervous on adult sites sharing face pictures. We have plenty of sexy pictures but nothing with faces. When we get to that point I get nervous. Being online you don't know who you are getting involved with. My worry would be that a person could turn into a stalker or worse. I know most swingers sound like amazing laid back people like us but the online crazies are slowing our jump. Any suggestions for getting over this or ways to vet better?
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We are going to visit lifestyle friends who used to live in Metro NYC, but moved to Florida. Friends and family ask how we know them and we are stumblin’ and bumblin.’ Does anyone use a good cover story?
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I did a search and didn't find anything about this. Do you take/allow pics during playtime with friends?
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How open are you about your swinging? Have you told friends outside the lifestyle, family, work, open to everyone?
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One of the common questions around here is about what to do if you run into people you know while in a swinging environment. I figure the best way to answer this question is for those of us that have experienced this situation to share our experience. So, swinger veterans, tell us about the time you ran into people you knew during your swinger exploits. How did you handle it? What was the outcome? Did you all have a good laugh, or did the walls implode? What lessons, if any, did you learn from the experience? As for us, we've ran into a few over the years. The most recent was about two years ago, when we showed up at a club one Saturday night, started making our rounds saying hello and hugging the regulars, when one of our friends said "That guy over there says he knows you". I looked up, and staring back at me was a guy I had worked with for a while a couple of years before that. We laughed, greeted each other, introduced our wives to each other, and caught up on people we both knew but hadn't seen in a while. Now, Mrs. two4you would have gladly taken a ride on his playground, and his wife was very attractive, but I'm weird, and I nixed that idea. Even though we no longer worked together, or for the same company, it just didn't feel right to me. Our loss for sure, but that's just how my brain is wired. Now, it's your turn to tell us about that time!
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So I logged into Facebook today and my news feed had blown up with all the mention of the Ashley Madison hack and the fact that the leaked data appears to be valid. I'm not going to lie, despite the fact that Mr. Prufrock and I don't have an account with AM, my stomach dropped thinking about it. We do have accounts on SLS and SZC. When I read the articles, I was mostly upset for the broken families that are going to come from all this. Yeah, the parents messed up, but the kids are going to pay the price I briefly thought about deleting our accounts, but I'm not sure that would do anything. Apparently, AM didn't delete user's information after accounts were deleted, I wonder how many sites follow suit. So what about you guys? How do you all feel about online security and swinger's personals sites? Are you worried about your information? Will you close your accounts? -
People have been showing at Facebook as "we think you might know this person" and I recognize them. But not from Facebook or high-school or anything. They are creatures who have sent my wife or myself messages using SLS. Some being people whom we have completely ignored and to whom we have never replied. Have any of you noticed anything similar. Have SLS made a pact with The Devil?
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I listen to Dan Savage a lot. I should probably just call him and ask this on the podcast. But I thought I might get feedback from swingers first. Dan Savage talks a lot about how the biggest way people who are gay or bi can support the gay rights movement is to be out. Especially bi people who appear to be in a heterosexual arrangement. This is me. I can totally relate to what he is saying. I have a friend who from the sound of it has a closeted gay teenager. She says to him, "You know I'll love you no matter what, but you do like girls, right?" She has a conservative religious background. I feel like for both their sake I should say something to her (like, "Whether he does or doesn't like girls, saying that isn't going to change anything and is going to make him afraid to disappoint you."). I feel like if I included that I am bisexual it would help. She knows me and knows I'm a good person leading a happy life. Maybe knowing me and who I really am would make things easier for her son? I also have the situation with vanilla acquaintances who say and do things that are homophobic. I'm not really afraid to come out as bi. The problem is that the way I express my bisexuality is through swinging. My husband is not in a position where we can be fully out as swingers. Plus, I feel like swinging is part of our sex life, therefore not everyone needs to know about it. I worry that if I tell people I'm bi, it will turn into a big discussion and I'll end up telling them about swinging. What do you think? Please tell me your experiences.- 14 replies
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Craig's list emails leads to firing Another good reason to think twice about trying to hookup on line. -
I think I've mentioned before that although I really only use a Hitachi, we have more than our fair share of toys. Today we consolidated all of them into the bedroom and now they're in two vintage suitcases, one wooden chest, three small dresser drawers and one small plastic box. Plus, the Liberator wedge that has been living under my shoes is a backrest right now. So, where are your toys? Bonus points for telling us what they are.
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A simple poll: Do you facebook connect / friend your swinging / lifestyle couples? I was thinking just "yes or no" but I'm thinking there are cases where "it depends". Regardless of how you respond to the poll, I'd love to hear details on why you choose to or not to! For those that have, has it caused any problems? Have you had to unfriend any of your lifestyle connections? -
I have a problem with my main computer. I'd like to take it to one of the local shops, but since I'm on this web site plus many other similar sites, I'm reluctant to. Has anybody come up with a solution for this problem?
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How easily do you give out your phone number? Once upon a time the main form of meeting other swingers was via bulletin boards or printed swinger ad magazines. The latter often had "direct contact" ads, meaning that you provided your phone number for direct contact. That's a little creepy to me - giving out my number to god knows who. Nowadays, we have the internet, and often people complain that the internet leads to too much wasted time of back and forth on emails without any real contact. So how do you feel about giving out your number? Are you the type that is willing to give it out to anyone? Or do you hang onto it until after you really feel comfortable with someone and KNOW who's calling you before they call? Or are you somewhere in between?
