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Showing results for tags 'drinking'.
Found 12 results
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In the topic of Does Weight Matter the subject of drinking and smoking and it's relationship to attractiveness was brought up. How do you feel about drinking and smoking? Turn-off or turn-on? Do you do it? If not will you play with others who do?
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I have been in the lifestyle for many years and with all of these nights out comes a lot of drinking. We go to a swing club at least 3 nights every week, so that adds up to a lot of drinking. I decided recently that I would like to try to stop drinking, Join the One Year No Beer Challenge (but I drink whiskey). It has only been one week so far and the nights at the club were not great. We did not go back to the playroom so that I have not tried to do yet! I can already see and feel the benefits of no alcohol and would like to stick with it. Has anyone tried swinging sober?
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My wife, Wendy and I have experimented in swinging in the past by inviting a friend to join us in bed on several occasions. This Saturday Wendy and I were at a pool opening party and she had a bit too much to drink and too much sun. We were at her boss' house and he directed us to a room where I could lay Wendy down for a bit. He had hit on Wendy in the past but wasn't a total jerk or anything, he was nice enough to help me get her in bed, but I noticed he was also taking this chance to feel her. Wendy was nearly asleep/out and I should have just said "Ok, I can take it from here". I don't know what came over me but when he put his fingers at at the hook/clasp of her bikini top between her breasts and looked at me, I just nodded and he looked back to her for a sign of her noticing. Her eyes were closed and I just kind of stood there as he slowly undid it and very gently pulled her top apart and to the side so she was topless. He felt each breast gently and then softly kissed each nipple. Then he stopped and said thanks, you have no idea how long I've wanted to see and touch your wife's breasts. Then he left. I'm not sure what to tell Wendy or what I should do. I feel I let her down, which I know I did, but I'm not sure what step to take now? -
Ok, here's what's going on..... My husband and I recently got into the lifestlye. We have talked about swinging for several years and we came up with a few rules before we got started. Our relationship was wonderful and our communication was excellent as well. We have been told by several couples in the last few weeks that they are very impressed with our level of security at our ages. He is 27 and I am 26. We have been together for 7 years. Our relationship is not in jeopardy due to these bad experiences but my self confidence is pretty much shot right now. I hope you guys can help me out. We first met a couple online who lives in our area. We talked quite a bit on the computer and on the phone. We got the chance to meet at a party about a month ago. It was our first time going to a party and we had a blast on the dance floor. We had no problems with jealousy or insecurity within ourselves or our relationship. While at the party we met another couple whom we eventually went up to the hotel room and swapped with. This first experience was ok, however we ended up switching back to our partners due to the fact that the male was pretty small and was having a hard time keeping it up. My husband was having a great time with this other female and I felt bad breaking that up, however I was just too uncomfortable. Our second experience happened that same night with the couple we met online. My husband was slightly attracted to the female and I was very attracted to the male. We attempted a full swap, but, of course, he had had too much to drink and couldn't keep it up either. Once again, I had to break my husband and this other female. He was having a great time, but I just had to give up on the male who couldn't get it up. Our third experience happened last night. We met a couple for drinks and some great conversation. We left the restaurant and went to a more private place for some fun. My husband was super attracted to the female while I was somewhat attracted to the male. My husband slightly hurt my feelings bc he didn't talk to me to see if I really wanted to swap with them. I gave him signals but he didn't pay attention. He says he wasn't able to follow my signals. Anyway, we attempted a full swap, however, once again he couldn't get it up. He said that he had too much to drink. I was very uncomfortable by this point however my husband couldn't seem to take his tounge away from this chic's pussy to make sure I was ok. I had to put a stop to the whole thing, again. I guess you can tell that I am feeling pretty bad right now. All three of the men have said that it was totally their fault. They have all called or spoken to me the next day and have said that I am a very sexy female and they are all hoping to get a second chance. I know that I am by far not any ugly person. I am not barbie but I am very attractive for having three kids. In all the experiences I have attempted to use oral and manual stimulation in trying to get them up. They all have told me that I give an awesome BJ, they just have had too much to drink. I just don't know what to do now. My husband cant understand why I am so upset. He says that it is them and not me. I have tried to explain to him that this is supposed to be for our fun, yet he is the one having all the fun and I am not. I guess I am jealous that he is having fun with sexy partners and haveing great experiences, while I have yet to even have one fun time. I am not sure now if I want to even try again. My first three experiences have been horrible and I don't know if I can stand the blow from a fourth being bad as well. Sorry for writing a book, but what do I do now? I am just wondering what I should do to feel better? Has anybody else had similar experiences? Please help me!
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Sorry for the massive wall of text.... Background-Wife and I have been together for 10 years. Very healthy, monogamous sex life. She's had boyfriends before me, all positive monogamous relations for the most part. I never had any real sexual relationships before her...just one night stands. Dated a girl for a really long time, but never had the sex part, young virgins. Most of my sexual experiences were short lived and not very good. Current situation-Wife and I really got into the idea of sharing her. Pillow talk, fantasy exploration, watching porn, playing with toys all helped inspire the conversation. We talked about another guy, gangbangs, hotwife, maybe even cuckold type stuff. I figured out though, that I had unconsciously projected myself onto the "bull". I thought I wanted to see her with other guy(s), but I actually wanted to be the bull. We also realized that we both have some very strong bi-sexual curiosities. I've always had them, but they've grown very strong. Her's are more new found. We decided three things/rules. 1. Our first dive into the lifestyle would be a very soft swap with another couple. Any exploration is done together as a couple...no solo play. 2. Any bi play would be just the ladies...she's not ready to see me with guy, fine with me. Guys still in room watching/helping the girls...again... no solo play. 3. The guys stay with their girls...no trading. I'm nowhere near ready to see her with another dude. So....we had another couple over the other night for drinks and dinner. We've hung with them several times in the past and maintained a positive, platonic relationship with them. Friends. We knew the female half had dabbled in bi-sexuality before, but we had zero intentions of hooking up with this couple. Like I said....friends. After dinner, we retire to the basement. We're all really drunk, especially my wife. Pretty sure the boyfriend was imbibing in other substances. Twice I caught the girls fooling around. First time I went upstairs to get some ice after they went back upstairs to clean up a little and they were making out. The wife asked me what she should do...I told her to do whatever feels right, but to remember the rules. Also gave her a really deep kiss and showed her how hard I was. Second time was about an hour later...me and the boyfriend were outside smoking and I noticed the girls were gone, again. Go inside, bedroom door is locked, both girls come to the door...wife is naked from waist down and they're both out of breath. Me and wife go into the bathroom...she's upset, telling me the girlfriend basically forced herself on her...but the wife didn't want to her to stop. I'm not sure what to think or feel at this point. I'm really pissed because the wife broke the first rule (see above), but I'm also really turned on. I tell the wife she has to ask them to leave...it's just way too much for me to process. They must have heard us and they were already halfway out the door by the time we got out of the bathroom. Boyfriend didn't say anything or look at me. Girlfriend sheepishly looked at my wife, had a very guilty sad look on her face Wife and I argued about what happened for awhile and ended up fucking. She came, I didn't...whiskey dick...but it was still good. Next morning we evaluate the events and the more we think/talk about it...the more we think this couple had planned on doing this the whole time. We already knew the girlfriend unsuccessfully tried fool around with another mutual female friend of ours awhile back. The girlfriend kept feeding my wife drinks all night and it seemed like the boyfriend was going out his way to keep me occupied/distracted with conversation and loud music. I asked him if knew what was going on between the girls...he didn't say yes or no, but he did say he it didn't really bother him. That's when I said it bothered me and went inside to find a locked bedroom door. They never once made their intentions clear to us. We both felt like we were manipulated/taken advantage of...me especially. Felt like I got played, on the outside looking in. The whole scene really sucked and I guarantee we will never see them again. Wife seems to have kinda reconciled the event. She says it never would have happened if she wasn't as drunk as she was. I believe her. She's still interested in exploration...I guess. I'm still full of odd, conflicted feelings. I'm mad, then depressed, then really horny....all at the same time. Where did we go wrong? Am I wrong for getting mad? Is there any hope for us or should we just forget the whole idea of joining the lifestyle? Thanks for reading this long boring post. Any ideas, suggestions, and thoughts are appreciated.
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Do most couples require a drink or two to loosen up enough to become flirty (or more), or are there other couples out there that do not drink but enjoy or swing totally sober? We do not have a problem with others drinking (as long as they don't get sloppy drunk, that's a turn-off), but for health reasons (her) and moral support (him), we don't drink. Just curious.
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So today was the second meeting for my wife and I with Kevin. The first was in a hotel and was pretty good but Kevin had a tough time staying hard. Today, we really didnt have playing on the agenda, just chatting and getting to know one another. But after 3 rounds of my wife's Margaritas, plans change. We had also been smoking weed and were pretty messed up. The clothes came off and we started off ok but then the softness would not go away. We assumed too much booze and smoke but what a disappointment. I know how much she loves 2 HARD dicks in her, but not today.
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So we went out and met this couple last night at a bar. We really clicked with the girl - she was super sweet and funny and cute. But her boyfriend got sloppy drunk and was EXTREMELY forward and rude and even braggy. I'm all for honesty, but within 15 minutes of meeting them he was asking very personal questions. I also felt like the conversation totally centered around him and what he wanted, when the original plan was for it to just be the girls playing this time while the guys watched. He kept asking me (the female in our couple) personal questions, while at times completely ignoring my bf and his gf. We ended up leaving without going home with them and I'm really glad about that. It seemed that in his state things would have ended up going badly. It's just unfortunate that we clicked so well with her when her boyfriend was so rude and off-putting. I'm wondering the best way to tell her that we really liked her but that things probably won't work out because of her boyfriend... Maybe we can try to meet again without the drinking? In any case, we learned a lot and my boyfriend (who was a little nervous to begin with) feels a lot more comfortable with the prospect of swinging. We'll keep looking for a better fit. I'm so glad to have found this community of supportive and helpful people
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Mr. Hrnycpl here. I had to tell someone, so i figured this was the right place. We had our first "encounter" over this past weekend, and to be totally honest, I don't think this lifestyle is for us, mostly me. My sister offered to take our son overnight, so with that in mind, we figured we would visit wifeys sister and go out and have some fun. She lives a couple of hours away, and we usually take our son with us to see his auntie, but with the sitter already arranged, we figured we would go out and have some fun (and be able to sleep in the following morning). This is a bit of a long read. Ok, cut to how we ended up with our encounter. We went to a local bar that sister-in-law frequents. We had been there once before and were very comfortable there because of the nice people there. Well, one couple we had become friendly with on the last visit, knew that there was a possibility of some sort of swapping. Needless to say we hit it off with them after the first visit (nothing happened then), so with this second meeting we were even more comfortable. So we are at a bar, so obviously we are drinking and shooting pool (looser buys a round of Cuervo shots for the 4 of us), and we all get to that friendly feel good part of drinking....really nice buzz, borderlining on flat out drunk, which is not really a problem since we don't drink all that often. But we were cutting loose for an evening, so we figured that we owed it to ourselves to have some fun. Well the night goes on and we continue to have a really great time with sis-in-law and our new friends up until the bar closes. Soon before the bar closes, sis-in-law leaves to go home and we are pretty much right behind her. Wifey is pretty drunk, but very coherent. She's your typical fun drinker who loves everyone the more she drinks. So all night, she's flashing her boobs at people and just having a fun time. So I go to check on sis-in-law (she was waiting for us in the car talking on cell phone) and let her know that we would be home later (she knows of our curiosity with the lifestyle). So wifey rides with the guy in the couple. He is "D" and she is "T". Anyway, as I was leaving the bar to go check on sis-in-law, i tell wifey, that she can kiss D if she wants to (they had already invited us back to their place). When I come back into the bar, she's making out with D. No problem, except for T is saying to wifey, that its not fair, and that if she keeps kissing her husband, that she will have to kiss me. T goes ahead and kiss me (it was ok, nothing to write home about though). This goes on for a few minutes and then we decide to leave the bar. I go and ride with T and we are talking, you know, general conversation. We get to their house and T pays their sitter and the sitter leaves. No sooner had the door closed behind the babysitter, and wifey was behind T, kissing her neck and rubbing her boobs. The rest just seemed to happen really fast. We make our way back to their bedroom and wifey sits on the bed. D starts kissing wifey again and has his hand down the front of her pants. I start kissing T and she quickly gets my pants down and goes into giving me a blowjob. I look up and D has moved down to remove wifeys pants and underwear and is giving her oral. T stops blowing me and goes to help D with the oral on wifey. That goes on for a few minutes, while at the same time, T is stroking my cock. Then she goes back to blowing me and D gets into a 69 with wifey. I get T's pants and underwear off and go to give her oral. She suggests going into another room. I agree. Well she sits on follows me out, and puts in a "movie." Well she turns around so I can have her from behind and i get a few strokes into it and then I go limp.....damn brain. I start thinking. I can hear wifey getting the crap pounded out of her and she's moaning. So I figure that hell, at least one of us can get some action. T keeps trying to get me hard again, but by now, I am freaked out and even more nervous than I originally was. So she walks me back to wifey and tells D to let us have some time alone....well, the damage was already done for me. I couldn't get it back up. So now i am sitting there and wifey's face is buried in the bed. I am saying that she needs to get up so we can leave (silently freaking the hell out now!). I can hear D and T going at it in their living room. D comes back to see if he can get another run at wifey, and I tell him not just yet, so he goes back out to T and finishes with her. The entire time I am just trying to get wifey up so we can get dressed and leave. But she was pretty drunk still and wouldn't move. Well, after what seemed like forever, she finally moved and slowly got dressed and we said our goodbyes and left. She asked me was I mad, and I wasn't, I was just freaked out that I got nervous, and that she was soo drunk that she wouldn't move for a while. We got lost driving home and when we finally did get back to sis-in-laws house, it was close to 5am. Wifey goes to pee and I go in the bathroom to wash my face. Well, now I have no problem getting it up, so I banged wifey against the sink for what seemed like forever. Then we moved to the spare bedroom where we kept going at it. But eventually wifey was sooo tired that she just had me stop, because she could barely keep her eyes open. She left the room to go sleep on the couch (it was a twin bed in the spare room) and I slept on the spare bed. Well tried to sleep. I woke up at about 9:30 am and realized that my cell phone and wallet had fallen out of my pockets at D and T's house. So now I am back to freaking out again and I go wake wifey to tell her. She can see that I am freaked out, and asks me whats wrong. Turns out that she was sooo drunk, she doesn't remember getting it on with D. So I gave her the rundown of the past evening's events. Now she's not freaked out, just surprised at what went down. We realized that if we have to get that drunk to actually do anything, then we probably shouldn't be doing anything to begin with. My penis won't let me do anything that I am not ready for, therefore he goes limp when I think too much. And thats what happened. If we had all stayed in the same room, i probably wouldn't have had a chance to think, but I got up and went into another room, which gave me a chance to think, and therefore couldn't keep an erection. I was really embarassed and freaked out all at the same time. I can't stop thinking about what happened though. Like it was a turn on, and a turn off all at the same time. Wifey knows me very very well, and could tell i was bothered by something, so I explained to her what was going on with me. Thats when we decided that it was probably a good idea for us to just have that one experience and keep it at that. Lots of things just didn't go as planned. We had agreed that since she's curious about being with another woman, that I would just watch. Well other than some kissing, thats the extent of her interaction with another woman. We also had agreed (when we were sober) that she and the other woman would experience each other and that the men would watch until invited to join. Well with us being drunk, none of that happened, and all the rules we thought we had in place, kind of went out the window. I just feel a bit guilty because if I hadn't given her the green light to kiss D, that none of this would have happened. I mean, it was fun at first, but now I am not so sure if it was a good idea. Am I having normal thoughts and feelings? Because it was fun in the beginning, but in the end, it wasn't. I mean, wifey was supposed to finally see what its like to be with another woman, and she really didn't get that opportunity. Fortunately, D and T are a cool couple and we could probably still hang out with them without any sexual interaction. At least thats the vibe I got the next day when we had to get my wallet and cell phone back. I think what freaks me out the most is the lack of control that we used in that situation. Sorry for the long read....but I just had to get it off of my chest. Any comments or insight is completely welcome. I would love to hear what anyone here has to say about our experience. -
My wife and I are in our 60's. She has never had sex with another man and is some what reluctant to swing. So my question is: do you all think it would be alright to get together with a swinging couple and do some drinking in the hopes that it will give my wife the courage to try another man? -
How many of you feel that you are just social drinkers? And how many people on here feel they NEED a drink to loosen up before having sex with another couple? We just had a couple tell us that we didn't have anything in common because they prefer to get "retarded drunk" in order to have a good time. My husband and I dont drink at all, but we dont care if others do. So I was just wondering what everyone else's views on drinking and swinging are.
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(I know this is long, but I needed to write it all out - a type of catharsis for my broken heart. Thank you ahead of time for taking the time to read it and respond if you so choose. Sincerely, Heart) A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went to a swinger’s club and had an amazing time together. We danced, drank and talked with several fun couples. We found a couple we were both interested in and formed a really good bond with, but they needed to leave early and so nothing happened. At that point, I thought he and I would just end up having awesome sex in a group room. But what happened was he went and approached a woman he had spotted across the room and told her he thought she was very attractive, while I sat on the couch (her partner was out of the room.) When my boyfriend came back, we went into the play room. There, he strapped me to a bondage wall and blindfolded me. As he was playing with me, this woman and her partner came over and began touching me and kissing me. The woman also began touching and kissing my boyfriend. He then told me that she was sucking on him. The whole time this was happening, I felt very disjointed from the whole situation. I had no emotional attachment to this couple and only knew that my boyfriend was interested in this woman. And now here she was sucking on him – without asking me first! My boyfriend thought I would get very excited by the bondage experience, but I was totally dry. I didn’t like not knowing who was kissing me (I had not met either of them), or what he was doing with her. We then went into a private room and the experience just got worse. My boyfriend was very focused on her, while her partner came over and put his penis in my mouth. I was drunk, so I went along with it, but I felt really uncomfortable. Then I watched as my boyfriend had sex with this woman, without getting my okay first. It was awful. I cried all the way home. First of all, I was disappointed in myself for getting so jealous – I felt like I had let him down as a partner. But I was also crying because I felt betrayed by him – that he had done these things without asking, which is, as is my understanding, the "rules" of swinging. In the morning, I came to realize two things led to that bad experience. First, I was drunk and had overreacted, and second, we hadn’t communicated – him or me. He said, "Why didn’t you tell me you were uncomfortable?" And I said, "Why didn’t you ask me before doing things with her?" I wanted to blame him for my reaction, but ultimately it was my fault because I didn’t communicate. The truth is, in the moment, it didn’t even occur to me that I could say something. Maybe it’s growing up female and being socialized to go along with things, but the thought of me interrupting him and saying, "Um, excuse me, but I don’t even know that woman and I’m not comfortable with you going all the way with her" was not a thought that entered my drunken mind. It was only later that I was able to verbalize what I had been feeling. I came to realize that I had been uncomfortable because I had no emotional connection to this woman. All I knew was that she was some woman he had felt attracted to across the room. I came to realize that for me, I need to have an emotional connection with the woman or couple for me to be comfortable having my boyfriend be that intimate with her. Once I know her story and get to know her a little bit, maybe dance or laugh together, then I don’t mind sharing my boyfriend with her. It excites me because he really is amazing. But when the connection is just between him and another woman, with me on the sidelines, I feel hurt and angry. We were both so traumatized by this experience of me crying all night that we broke up. He says he needs to be with someone who’s excited for him when he’s with another woman, and I say I would be supportive if I knew the woman beyond the point of her being just some stranger he thinks is sexy. Is this a common situation, where the woman needs an emotional connection? I feel like he expects me to be like him, but I’m not.
