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Showing results for tags 'first date'.
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Just curious about something. There have been several posts recently about things that come up during sex that were never discussed before sexual contact: kissing, bisexuality, anal, etc. I wondered how many times most people meet before having sex and how much time is spent previous to that in discussing sexual fantasies, likes/dislikes and the rules of the first sexual encounter. The poll is only the first part of this question. I'd just like to know how many couples and singles engage in some sort of sexual activity on the first meeting. In the thread, I'd appreciate any comments regarding pre-swing preparation with regards to communication between all parties involved. So what is it? Do you get right down to business and hope everything works out or is there a rigorous screening/boundary-setting process. My inquiring mind wants to know. T.H.
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Update post: A couple of months ago, I posted seeking some advice regarding my shy wife’s a few new experiences. We both are originally from South Asia and almost two years ago moved to Europe. She is Muslim and used to be quite conservative with her living and dressing style. Since being here, she has become just a little bit more adventurous with her dressing style. I always encouraged her and also she enjoy going to parties. At one of those parties, she met a guy (say Adam) with whom she kinda hit it off. They danced, chatted and became cozy with each other. They remained in touch and subsequently they again met in another party a couple of weeks ago. They decided to go on a small day trip to be away from the known surroundings. For me it was a mixture of anticipation, nervousness, caution- everything. Here is the update after that. It was her first date ever with someone apart from me. She had already been close to him in a couple of parties (as I mentioned before in my posts), but nothing extraordinary happened. Although it was quite clear that they both liked each other and enjoyed the company. So, they fixed their first date for last weekend. She went to meet him at around 11:00 and returned home before 19:00. I had to wait until it was the night to get to know what exactly went down. Before she went out, I joked with her that Adam would definitely want to kiss her, which she said not much chance of happening. So I asked her that how far would she willing to go. She just replied that she’d just want to spend some time, enjoy the company and see how it’d turn out. At night gave me the detailed account of the day and here is how it went: She was a little nervous in deciding what to wear as she didn’t want to look too fancy yet nice. Finally, she decided to wear an angular sleeveless top (like halter neck) with a fitting stretchy pant. Underneath she wore a nice pair of thong; while as under the armpit the top was a little deep cut, she wore a regular bra. They took the same train to the city next to theirs, but from different stoppages. After getting down from the train, at around 11:30, they met over there at the station. The greeting was apparently cordial but simple, only a hug, and no kiss even on the cheek. They directly went to a festival and spent some regular cozy time without worrying someone known might spot them. After having lunch, they went to a park to enjoy a little bit of sun. At that stage, Adam asked her whether she told me that she was spending the day and having a trip with him. When she said that I know, again he asked whether I knew that she went out with him like a date, to which she responded again in the same way. He then asked whether she’s in an open marriage type of situation, which she responded to by just saying that I always encourage her to explore her sexuality. After the conversation, right there while chilling, he kissed her on her lips the first time. She told me later that she was so shy and nervous that she didn’t reciprocate. It was the first time she felt someone’s lips on hers, who wasn’t me. Within a few minutes, he kissed her again and this time she kissed him back. Then the kisses went on for a while (she actually loves kissing a lot) and those were quite hot and passionate with tongue and everything. Then they walked around the city a little and at around 16:00, went to the train station for the return journey. This whole time apparently countless kisses happened between them, with which she was visibly shy but happy with. On the train, they stood near the door as it was only a half-hour journey and exchanged numerous kisses. After asking I came to know that being outside, while kissing, his hands didn’t get much adventurous apart from occasionally grabbing her ass a little. They both down at Adam’s stoppage as she needed to take another train or tram to her stoppage. At that point, he invited her to his place for a coffee, which she declined. But, figuring out it was a weekend and the next train would take a little while to arrive, she then agreed for the coffee and went to his place which was just a minute or so away. After getting to his place, he turned the tv for her while he made coffee. When he saw that she was still wearing her shoes, he just asked her to take them off and relax for a little. Right after she took off her shoes, she turned around and felt that he had gently grabbed her. Instantly they started kissing and fell on the couch. He was on top of her and kisses were way steamier than before. He started kissing her lips, shoulder, arms, everywhere. Over her top, he continued kissing her belly and her tits. She told him to stop but didn’t actually want him to. In a couple of minutes, she regathered herself and figured she should leave. She pushed him a little and sat down to catch her breath figuring that was it. At that point, he kissed on her lips again and went on top of her on the couch for once more. She told me that she didn’t know what happened, but over her pants, felt his throbbing cock being rubbed onto her pussy. At the stage, she couldn’t control herself anymore and just kept enjoying the kissing and rubbing. Suddenly she felt that under the armpit, into her low cut top, reached his hand inside her bra. He was grabbing a tit of her and kissing. She didn’t know what happened and the next thing she noticed that he had unclasped her bra inside her top. She remembers that she took her hands higher and Adam just took both her top and bra off. She said to me that she couldn’t believe that she was with another guy while being half naked! He kissed and fondled her tits for god knows how long. She grabbed his cock over his pants and kept stroking it. Afterward, when he started sucking her tits, she knew that she had to stop; otherwise, she’d do everything. She barely got up in time for the next train and dressed up. He mentioned that she was leaving him in such a state, but didn’t want to rush it. After she had dressed up, he grabbed her tits inside her top under her armpit for once more. They just exchanged a short kiss and she ran to catch the train. Upon returning, she made me wait until it was the night when she was extremely shy to tell me about the things that happened. She said that it went way too far and never expected this from herself. Still, she can’t figure out why she agreed to get to his apartment in the first place. I have assured her time and time again that if she had enjoyed it, there was nothing wrong. She says that she definitely enjoyed everything a lot, but is feeling a guilty and shy afterward.
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Pro: you went to the trouble of meeting, you hit it off. When will you get together again. Con: you would like to have a private discussion with your spouse about it. It can be awkward if all 4 are not on same page, which is hard to achieve.
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Ok. So we are very new to this LS, only a couple of months. After chatting, texting, emailing etc. we are to meet another couple tomorrow night. We have meet in public before and had drinks and hit it off. We both have a nervous excitement about the whole experience. Hubby and I even had a long chat about it yesterday to make sure we are on the same page. The thing is for me that I'm not sure the other male is. Call me paranoid but I'm getting mixed signals. We have been texting/sexting non-stop since before our meet but in the last couple of days have heard VERY little from him? We are to meet at their home tomorrow night. Even last night he said we should just take our time, no rush. I'm nervous that he will not be interested in me I guess. I have put on weight (trying to lose it is not that easy) and he is a very attractive man who takes good care of himself. I guess I just don't want to get hurt. I do plan on going and being myself. Anyway that's my rant. Any advice for us is more than welcome!
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We all have them so we thought it would be fun to ask fellow swingers for some of their craziest first "meeting" stories. Sure, there are liars out there who show up weighing 50 lbs more than they claim or are 10 years older than what their pictures show. But what other things has everyone experienced that was awkward and uncomfortable at the time, but which you now look back at and laugh about?
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First off, I have spent the last 5 or 6 days reading non-stop and I have totally related to so many things others have posted about. I have laughed my butt off at some of the things others have said too, some great storytellers/writers here. O.k so, My husband and I are fun, happy, friendly, successful, sexual people. We had clicked sexually ever since we met. I thank the universe I met someone who matches me in so many ways. Swinging has been a topic that has gradually evolved from fantasy to something we know we have to experience. We first talked about it at least 5 or 6 years ago, but recently have decided (after MUCH discussion) that we want to make it reality. We have agreed to start slowly with some soft swap and take it from there and communicate along the way to make sure we are both 100% enjoying every step of the process. Anyhow, my question is, I'm really nervous to take the first step. We have a couple we have exchanged info and pics with and we are setting something up for the new year. I'm totally excited but worried that I will meet these people for real and not be into it. How do I say that tactfully? I know I'm no supermodel and there will be people who are not attracted to me or my husband as well but I'm nervous about how to handle a turn down. Also, are we better off going to a club our first time maybe? Is that how i might get a little more comfortable with the whole scene to get started? And, one last thing, I know body image is somthing talked about alot but I'm curious if most people get completeley naked? I am a curvy, lots of tits and ass kind of girl who had 3 kids in four years so my body took a beating. I am reasonably fit, run at least 4 times a week and do half marathons a few a year, but my tummy is left looking like a bit of a battlefield Can I wear like a corset or hike up a skirt to cover just that lower belly? Or do I need to just get over it and deal until I save enough for a tummy tuck? lol. I know its my own issue but its sadly my main concern. I feel giddy and happy the last few weeks thinking about our future in swinging. Will that go away? I have trouble with my mundane routine, I'm in fantasy land all day long. Once I discovered there are lots of like-minded people out there its like a huge relief. I haven't even started yet, but its already improving my zest for life! LOL Thanks in advance, I hope I haven't asked too many repeat questions.
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Hi everyone, We are meeting our first couple. My question is what should I take with us to be prepared for the possibility of going beyond dinner? This is our first foray into swinging. We are nervous, excited, scared etc... Thanks.
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So the other day we reached out to a couple whose profile was attractive, but the only image they had was a rather generic one - that frankly could have been taken of any woman at the mall with a cell phone. We expressed our interest in chatting and meeting for a drink, but asked that we see some G pics of them to get an idea of what they look like. "They" responded back with some flattering remarks (saying all the right things) and said that they were open any day this week. We responded back that do to work, kids and family the first day we had was Friday and that we would be happy to meet at the location they suggested BUT we'd still need to see some pics so we could recognize them when we get there as we didn't believe they would walk in naked or with a big sign around their necks "we're the swingers couple" They responded back that WE should send them our cell phone number and that they will be driving a x colored y make car and we should find them in the parking lot. At first we thought that this was really HILARIOUS that people would actually expect us to walk up to every car (very popular model and color) in the parking lot - likely to be more than one at just about everywhere you go. Then we thought well maybe people actually do this - while we've been here for some time our experiences are rather limited as generally we just don't have the time this takes (really surprising thing to us). But the more we think about this the more creeped out we are!? Mostly because of the combination of the ad - where they're kind of targeting newbies, saying all the right things but ending up with asking a newbie couple to show up to a parking lot without giving out ANY info about themselves. We thought we'd share just so others can think about taking a moment to think about what they are stepping into because sometimes when we're excited and nervous we don't make the best decisions. Or are we just being paranoid?
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We all have spent "too much" time with a couple we weren't interested in, and once you've determined that you aren't interested, it's pretty difficult to "switch gears" and remove yourself from the situation. Heck, one night we planned ahead to meet a couple at our "regular" club - we sat and talked for over an hour before it was just uncomfortable enough for someone to blurt out, "well, this isn't working, is it?". So we instituted a "10 minute rule". We explain this to a couple before we meet.. we say something like, "Ok, we all know that sometimes there isn't a 'click' between 4 people - and we all know how hard it is to bring up the subject that we just aren't 'clicking'. So, we have a 10-minute rule. When you meet someone, you know within 10 minutes whether you 'like' them, right? So, basically, after 10 minutes, we'll say 'OK it's been 10 minutes, should we continue this conversation?'. And, if we decide to continue, that's still not a promise to play, it's just that, at that time, we're all comfortable enough to move forward. It's a great way to set it up ahead of time for a planned conversation." Most couples laugh and say, "wow, that's a great idea". We've offended 1 couple (out of dozens). But overall, it's a fun, and light way to be up-front. I mean, seriously, how often have you not really 'liked' a couple in the first 10 minutes, but then somehow they 'grew on you'? Hasn't happened to us... And, we also find that by the time that 10 minutes comes up, I say, "ok, 10 minutes, shall we continue?"... it brings a laugh and either a sigh of relief ("phew, thanks, we aren't getting along") or a laugh ("yeah of course, matter of fact let's find a room" is a fairly common response we get!).
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I have a date with a couple that I met online for drinks and more if we click. I am super excited... it's been 25 years since my last and only MFM and I have been fantasizing about repeating that experience ever since. It may seem strange, and I know it's "every guy's fantasy" but the idea of a FMF threesome has never really appealed to me. However the thought of sharing and totally focusing on pleasuring a woman is the most intoxicating fantasy I can imagine. I guess I'm just too excited about the upcoming date to keep it to myself. The other couple is experienced and evidently they approved of my looks because they asked to meet. Id love any input or advice from couples who enjoy MFM threesomes before the big day.
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We're just curious, what is your swinging preference for meeting people for the first time? What is your reason for your preference? We used to love dinner/drinks, but after 5 cancellations in a row (single males & couples) we've now decided to only meet at M&G's and clubs (on or off premises). It's just a matter of Jan is tired of getting all dressed up & then having the plans cancelled (one time was so bad, we got an email 5 minutes before we were to leave!!! and boy did they miss out, Jan looked hot!) Jim -
I have never posted before and hopefully someone can help. We have been finding hookups online and so far the worst thing to come up has been no-shows, until now. We have been chatting with this guy whose profile says that he is single, and we like mfm threesomes so were thinking very highly on meeting this guy. The problem he refuses to meet us in public, claiming that he's tired of all the no-shows. He insists on his private home, and has given us his address and how to get there and his home number. I'm not to sure about this private home deal. If it was a couple it probably would be less scary. Anyone have any thoughts on meeting a single guy for the first time be in his home? Or should we stick with meeting in public as we always have?
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Hi Everybody, I never understood some things I've read in peoples profiles till this afternoon. "No picture, no reply" seemed a little harsh. Physical appearance isn't that important to us, we figured, and besides we met a GREAT couple who just needed to be extremely discreet because of his profession. "Don't show up looking like you just rebuilt an engine" is one that popped up a couple of times. We giggled about that one too. Who could possibly be so goofy as to show up like THAT? Well, this afternoon we found out why those things make it into profiles. The guy showed up in a ratty t-shirt, faded torn jeans, and a dirty baseball cap. The teeth he had were gray fading to black. He also had one eye that was cloudy and pointed in a different direction. All of this we probably could have overcome, but it got worse. When we sat down to eat he started talking about his sexual exploits and preferences....loudly....in a Ryans....just as the Sunday church crowd was rolling in. There was no changing the subject with him. He couldn't seem to take the hint that raunchy sex talk just wasn't appropriate for the setting. On the rare and brief moments that I could get him to talk about something other than sex he didn't have much to say that the average elementary school kid couldn't come up with. The lady was a whole different subject. She had the same dental nightmare on display. Her clothing was a little less inappropriate but still not really attractive. She was deaf from birth. I have no problem with that in itself, but she seemed to have never learned the normal coping methods most deaf people pick up. I tried my luck selling cars a few years ago and I developed a large deaf customer base. The deaf people I was selling cars to were all pretty good lip readers if I spoke slowly and clearly. This lady was not. She used sign language with her husband. I know a little sign language but she was so sloppy in her signing I couldn't follow it for the most part. In short, there was just no way to communicate with her. After bolting lunch it was "Oh gee, Look at the time. Gottagonicemeetingyou." I'll never give the fish eye to a profile that has those lines in it again. Oh yeah, Just as a super special bonus we found out that they're going to the same house party we're attending next weekend. Oh joy. Sorry y'all, I just felt the need to vent.
