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Showing results for tags 'funny experiences'.
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In another thread, someone was asking about what to wear to clubs. Mrs. Good Times post about her first experience going to a club and things not going perfectly. I thought that was so comical but even more, I thought, good for her! Telling a tale on herself. Ok...so this got me to thinking...those of us new or with less experience might think that everything always goes just perfectly for "seasoned" swingers, hence...sometimes making things far too complicated and just simply over-thinking things. I thought it would be great if some of you would share some of your funniest stories...sort of like the American Home Videos of Swinging. You know how you fall out of the chair laughing when the dog "noses" the guy as he's pulling in his fish and he falls off the bridge. Admit it. So how about sharing your stories...funny, embarrassing, or otherwise. It'll give us all something to laugh at and just maybe, when something happens to a newbie, they can look back and think, "Well, at least I didn't do THAT!!"
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This is the second year that my wife and I have spend our winter months living at a Florida clothing-optional resort. I am receiving a string impression that the other residents of this resort talk a lot about the weather. They seem much more sensitive to small day-to-day changes than people who live in places full-clothed. I find this interesting. Could this be, possibly, that when you are walking around or riding around in your birthday suit, small changes are more noticeable? In my mind, the residents and visitors are inclined to remarking on the obvious -- sunny today; OK, so it was sunny yesterday and it was the same the day before. Warm today; OK but it's exactly one degree warmer today than yesterday. -
Interesting things I learned just tonight... Washable markers come off the back and tits fairly easily, belly not too bad, thighs with a bit effort and ass... well, she's going to have to be careful about who gets a peek at her ass for the next day or two, I think. Also, different colors are more or less easily removed (probably not going to use the blue again). I did experiment first before I used the markers on her... writing on the back of my own hand and leaving it for a while, Didn't have any trouble. For some reason, I didn't expect different body parts to "erase" in different ways. Not testing different colors was an oversight. What can I say, it was something different to try...
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Ok BE 100% honest people, How many times did you write, delete, rewrite, change, delete and add the HEADLINE and/or DESCRIPTION of your PROFILES. I know there is some bright, word savy, super confident in how they describe themselves individuals and I envy and admire that about you. But for some of us, at least us, it was kinda hard. I mean how do you sum up who you and your mate are as individuals, your sex life, your expectations and try not to sound creepy ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!?!?!? THEN DO IT IN A FEW WORDS ON THE HEADLINE TO ATTRACT PEOPLE!!! LOL I'm glad to announce ours ended up being LETS HAVE A BLAST. smh I just said fuck it, I know sexually we can hang with the best of them and that we're good down to earth people so LETS HAVE A BLAST it is. To all that went thru our dilemma, cheers! Hope we get contacted, if not we'll be right back trying to come up with some catchy 5 word phrase that says WE WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BUT I NEED YOU TO WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH US TO SO HERE IS A BRIEF SUMMARY OF WHO WE ARE AND I HOPE IT WORKS! To those who didn't stress, NO sex for you tonight because your headline probably scored you and your partner some bomb ass swinging nights! But we still love you!!!! Well thanks for reading, we hope our humor tickled you a bit and feel free to share your thoughts!!! -
Swinging Humor: HEADLINES and DESCRIPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!
adamgunn replied to NKOTB2017's topic in Finding People to Swing With
I diddle around with approving new profiles on SLS. Here's one I just saw: Looking For: We are looking for someone for him to fuck so I can witch I'm fairly sure it was a joke, not a typo, as there were other puns such as 'we'd like to meat.' -
What is the most outragious thing that you've seen/experienced while swinging? Here's my contribution. We hooked up last week with a guy last week and wound up coming back to our place for a threesome. As the guy began to orgasm he ripped the loudest and most disgustingly odorous fart you've ever smelled. Worse, then he tried to blame it on our dog!
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Flamekasters signature line made me think of something that happened several years ago and I wonder if this might be where their signature line comes from as well.... and perhaps there are others who have turned funny situations into whole new words. Many years ago I was playing with some good friends of mine and it must have been one of the first time that I had given this guy head to completion because as he's getting close he yells "Julie I'm Gonna Cum" and I just kept going. I let him know later that I didn't need a warning (but that was rather polite of him). There was a room full of our friends when this occured and just the way that it happened was rather funny and resulted in a new term amongst our friends "JIGC" (or Julie I'm Gonna Come). ---- FlameKasters Signature: BOHICA (Bend Over Here it Comes Again). So after seeing FlameKasters signature line it reminded me of that story and I wondered if perhaps their term came from a similar funny experience... and wondered if perhaps others had coined their own terms after something funny happened or was said in a swinging situation.
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Has anyone had the experience of air coming out of your vagina It happens when my husband wants to do it doggy style. It is so embarrassing. I don't know why it happens or how to make it stop? -
Sex Accidents - What's Your Worst Case Scenario?
JustAskJulie posted a topic in Let's Talk About Sex
Sex Accidents Send Victims to Emergency Room Twice a Week So now after reading it, what is YOUR worst case scenario, either real or imagined (and please do specify if it really happened. I can honestly say I have had to go fishing for condoms at least twice that I can recall and I have broken one bed. Luckily, I've never (yet) had anyone puke on me. -
So we're at the club and sitting next to us is this couple we have never met. When they first sat down, we introduced ourselves and chatted a little bit, but after that just exchanged a few comments here and there since they were quick to tell us they weren't swingers and she didn't seem all that happy to be there to start with. Later on though, I see Mrs cplnuswing and the other girl just bust out laughing and shaking their heads at each other. The other girl was just sitting there not doing anything in particular, and the bra she had on under her dress just spontaneously broke. Broke right in the middle between the cups. The Mrs helped her get the bra off and her dress back situated without exposing more than she wanted to, and all was good. We were talking about it later, and the Mrs was saying she can't ever remember having a bra just break like that in her whole life. The other girl wasn't particularly well-endowed, she wasn't doing anything active or really even moving at all, and boom, bra broke. It is an old building, so maybe just a swing club poltergeist having some fun I guess. How about it ladies, ever had a bra break? Maybe some other type of public swinging wardrobe malfunction you care to share?
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Does anyone have issues with pets being in the same room during playtime? I think it would be a mite inelegant and awkward to have a 95 pound German Shepherd nigh ones' gonads. Do staring feline eyes interfere with concentration?
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Just a silly question & reason to tell a story... Have y'all ever walked in on your family members while they were having sex? (Parents? Grandparents? Siblings?) ...or had them walk in on you while you were having sex? I haven't had any of my family members walk in on me having sex with anyone other than myself (...but that's a different topic). I have, however, wandered over to my parent's bedroom one night with math book in hand with a question for my dad about a homework problem I was having and just as I got by their bedroom door, I heard the distinctive rhythmic squeaking or bedsprings ... I promptly turned around and went back to my room ... figured my homework wasn't THAT important at that point. -
Hello All, Something happened at a recent party that got me thinking about the extra large condoms. First, let me say that I'm a little above average myself, a little over seven and about the thickness of a D cell flashlight. I use Crown skinless skin condoms. They have a slimmer than usual profile. They feel more sensitive. I've used condoms like Inspiral or Trojan twisted pleasure and found that the extra room in those took away from sensitivity instead of adding to it. XXL condoms are just an ego thing as far as I can tell. The proof of that follows. One of the ladies at a house party we attend was bragging that she had been with a guy who's unit was so big he couldn't use even the XXL condoms. She claimed that he had to special order super large condoms to fit his mammoth tool. Everyone was getting as little annoyed with her endless tall tales and inability to shut up and give other people a chance to talk from time to time. Little did she know that she was stepping right into the trap of one of my favorite party tricks. I pulled out one of my crown condoms, rolled it down over my hand, worked my other hand inside. By this time some of the regular attenders were stifling giggles because they have seen this gag before. I stretched it out and put it over my head with the ring between my mouth and nose. I breathed in through the mouth and out through the nose several times to inflate the condom into a giant diving helmet and said "WOW, not even an XXL would fit? Maybe I should stick my head in there and look around to see if he did any damage." Ok, so maybe that was mean, but she did stop with the wild stories after that.
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So, we went to one of our local clubs last night and met a really nice couple, visited for a while and then adjourned to the playroom. All four of us are on this collection of furniture that is pushed together to resemble something like a bed made up of four foot square ottoman type things. We had a great time but towards the end while I was applying my tongue to the woman’s sensitive spot and the other male was changing positions and he somehow kneed me in the right eye, ouch! The other problem was that the cushions seemed to part at the worst times and let our body parts rest on the underlying hard wood frame. So, after a good time is had by all, we adjourn for home. Once home we go to bed and Mrs. GT and I proceed to have our after play sex and fall fast asleep. We wake up this morning and the first thing Mrs. GT says is "hey, you have a black eye". I jump up and run to the nearest mirror and sure enough I am sporting a major shiner. While fixing breakfast Mrs. GT says "Look at my back, it hurts in a couple of spots". You guessed it; she has bruises on her back shaped suspiciously like the furniture we were playing on last night. So has anyone else ever had any painful but humorous in retrospect experiences while swinging? Or are we just exceptionally accident-prone? And does anybody have any idea of how I can explain my black eye to my friends in the vanilla world? I don't think "You wouldn't believe me if I told you" will cut it. And if I were to say something like "Well, I was having sex with this guys wife and he accidentally kneed me in the eye" I don’t think that would work out to my benefit either.
