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Showing results for tags 'gender differences'.
Found 5 results
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Okay so I feel like this is probably pretty common amongst new swingers but I need to discuss it with someone cause I feel kinda bad. So me and my wife started swinging and have only had 2 experiences so far, both at the swing club near us. Both times me and my wife went she (a social butterfly) found someone within a couple hours and completed one of her fantasies both times. The first time I wasn't present with her I was just outside the room in the main play room. I did this to let her try it without any pressure or influence from me. The second time we dvp/dped her and had a lot of fun. Like 30 people stood around watching her wanting to get involved So my problem starts a few days ago when we got into a mild argument and she said "well it's kinda fucked. You have got to see me fuck another man. I've done it twice, but you have yet to do anything with another woman." So personally I'm an extremely shy and introverted person. She always thought I was the catch cause when we met in highschool all the girls were falling over me and I only had eyes for her. Well she walks into the club and literally everyone is looking at her. I don't have "game" shit Idk how to even flirt. It's not because I feel bad or like I'm cheating, I could honestly give a fuck less about that sorta stuff. I just don't have the confidence to go to a woman I find attractive and shoot my shot. I grew up extremely abused and so rejection to me is something that crushes me. When you learn to never ask for anything being denied when you finally do just ends your confidence. So really my question, is this normal for one partner to be the clear catch and able to go find partners where the other partner can't find anyone due to confidence? I dont want to make her mad because I don't ever do it but I also don't want to force myself to go fuck someone I don't even find attractive or something just to make her happy. I am totally content in our swinging choice and everything else. This is really just one of those things I hadn't anticipated. I hate it cause I know I'm attractive. I just have 0 confidence to test it out.- 6 replies
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I (the female half) have a very high sex drive, the slightest little imagination can set me off. Makes life very fun! What i am wondering is how much of an odd ball I am. It seems to me with the majority of "normal" people the man has the higher sex drive. But as a 30 (ish) woman, I can match any horny 16 year old guy! So ladies, men, who is the most driven.... The Mrs.
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It's often said that women rule the world when it comes to swinging. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The other thing that is often said is that everyone should move at the pace of the slowest person... it seems like when we say that we assume that the slowest is the woman. But if the man is the one that is creeping into the idea of swinging and the woman has already been there (as in my case), then I would think that everything moves at his pace... and in that respect doesn't he rule? Should it really be a matter of anyone 'ruling" in the swinging world? Or should it just be everyone having fun and "no means no" regardless of who says it and everyone be respectful and ask first? I guess I just have a hard time buying the whole women are (or should be) always in control and making the decisions when it comes to swinging. Just throwing my train of consciousness out there to see if I can derail anyone elses. -
Another carry-over from tonight's live chat. When it comes to swinging, who is in control? Is it the guy or the woman and why? Who posts the ads? Who answers the ads? Who sets up the meetings?
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We have three online swinger ads and I manage the communication on all of them. Mr LM does a search now and then, but he pretty much leaves the job to me. I enjoy it and have honed my search skills in the past nine months since beginning this new chapter in our lives. I'm curious to know how it works for other couples. I've set up a poll that I hope will give everyone an easy way to vote. Thus far I have found that the spouse who brought up the idea of swinging is the one who runs things. I have also found that with every couple we've been e-mailing, it's the husband who has been writing. This leads me to believe that more husbands introduce swinging into the marriage than do wives. I introduced the idea of swinging into our marriage and I am handling the accounts and all initial communication with potential swingers. Am I right in my assumption? Does the spouse who introduces swinging into the marriage handle the communication online? And is it usually the husband? Please share your views and what you've discovered when you communicate--either through e-mail or IM--with couples you get to know through online ads.
