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Showing results for tags 'honesty'.
Found 23 results
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My wife knows. I don't know how you can keep it quiet!
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Hi all. I've been married to my husband for 4 years. He recently shared with me he wanted to get back into the lifestyle. He had been in it years ago. I wasn't very open about it when he 1st brought it up mostly because I didn't really understand what was happening or anything about the lifestyle and frankly our sex life sucked so I just assumed he was looking for ways of sleeping with someone because he didn't find me attractive or desirable. A few weeks ago he told me he has been in a lifestyle group for about 6 months and ended up attending a party. At first he said he said he didn't play but then it came out he did sleep with someone at the party. This led me to feel utterly betrayed. I knew I didn't want a divorce and wanted to work through this. We've been seeing a counselor and our relationship is getting stronger by the day. And our sex life is totally different. It went from me basically begging for it and not getting any for months to him finally initiating it daily and letting me truly be free and it's been amazing. He's being 100% honest with me about his feelings on multiple levels. I ended up joining the chat group. I wanted to get to know all these people he really likes and there are aspects of this I've always fantasied about. I've always wanted to be in a threesome with men and women. I also love showing my body off and being told by strangers how sexy I am. So after 2 weeks of dealing with this I said I was in for giving this a try and we committed to going to a upcoming event mostly a meet and greet only. I have mixed emotions about this because the women he slept with will be there. He knows im very scared to meet her and when I said she deserves to know that I had no idea about that night he said he can't share that with her. I learned the group had no idea I wasn't part of this lifestyle that he hadn't been honest with the group or this woman. And to tell her he didn't have permission to play or that I had no idea about this side would basically black list him and he really likes this group of people a lot. The fear of him losing this group of people was as great as losing me. so here I am like a new born baby going into this with people who think I've been doing this forever and seeing a women my husband slept with. I'm so scared and have no one to speak with about it. I'm terrified what will happen when I see the gal he slept with. I'm really struggling with the though of him wanting to sleep with her again plus a lot of other things. I'm so scared because I'm a baby about to attend a party where everyone thinks I've been part of this.. what if I get jealous, what if I can't handle seeing him make out with people. I feel lost and confused. Any advice to help settle my nerves would be awesome. Thanks.
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Ok, so we were talking last night. It seems that I'm (the mrs) in the minority when it comes to female female play. While I like a little girl teasing, dancing etc, I just don't find bisexual play all that great as I prefer men. Our profile implies we think its a good icebreaker and it is, but to me it's not the end all be all for us. My hubby says there are more couples who have a female half who feels the way I do so we posted this poll and thread to see how others feel.
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Why aren't all these Bi girls really bisexual?
NYFlirts replied to lotsoffun201's topic in Bisexual Swingers
We've met scores and scores of women that their profiles (and in person) state that they are bi-sexual. My wife is super beautiful and sexy and girls tell her all the time how much they like her. What's odd is that all these girls sure don't seem bi. I mean, I see how much the guys fawn over my wife and at any hint of an invitation will flirt, paw all over her, and do all they can to be with her. Conversely, when my wife is flirty with "bi" girls they seem friendly and flirty back... but their interest level is FAR FAR from the interest she gets from guys. So, what do you think is going on? I'm wondering if it's possible girls really just aren't into my wife (which would honestly be incredibly shocking) or is it that from my perspective as a guy, I'm biased in how a person shows interest in another person? Specifically, guys are more inclined to really show outward signs of interest by being assertive more so than girls usually are. It's just really odd that these girls talk about how excited they are to be with other girls, but when they have a super hot girl on their lap they act more like it's a fun friend hanging out vs. getting totally turned on and fixated on my wife... which is how all the guys act. -
OK, I’m not really ‘Bi’, but I am curious and it says so in my profile. I even go so far as to explain that it’s situational, and I am really wanting to see what it’s like to handle, fondle, and suck another guy in front of my wife. She wants to see it too. We are looking for someone to experience that with. It may turn out that I hate it, and will never do it again. I doubt it though. It’s far too intriguing to me to be a one time thing. But every single person that has contacted us has labeled himself ‘straight’. Some even say ‘very straight’. Then why are you contacting me/us? If you’re curious, at least say so in the e-mail. Does this happen to everyone? Or just me/us?
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Over the long weekend the wife and I met a male who we both wanted to play with and when he agreed AND when he mentioned he, like me, was orally bi, we both thought JACKPOT! We finished our drinks, walked down the dock to our boat and headed out of the marina to play. On the way out we all got naked and I watched them fool around a little. Once we got anchored I watched him have sex with the wife a little then we swapped and I had sex with her while sucking him off some. Then he took my place and when I stood up for him to suck me he pulled away and said he wasn't up to do that and that he only allows other males to give him head but doesn't return the favor. THAT WAS NOT WHAT HE SAID LESS THAN 90 MINUTES AGO! I mean the wife flat out asked/said she wanted to watch us suck each other off and he said he was totally up for it! So here's the deal -- did he play me/us just to nail my wife? He didn't flinch or pull away when I went down on him and he certainly didn't have a problem with having sex with my wife while I watched! I mean is this a common occurrence to meet a guy, have him basically lie about being bi just to nail your wife???????? -
We think they gave us herpes...how do we tell them?
GMOFLEISURE replied to a topic in Let's Talk About Sex
Obviously another awkward at best subject that I'm not seeing discussed much. You play as a couple or individual with another couple or individual. A few days later either: 1. The other sends a message they have a STD manifesting itself. 2. You find symptoms emerging. What is the best course of action to get through this socially 'difficult' situation? I've been through this before many years ago & took several actions. But, I am curious what others think are the best actions to take in these awkward moments. Among other things there is the question of who has been carrying & who received. STD tests are at the bottom line only good until you make sexual contact again, then you are back to zero. Condoms, washing up, & other measures are less effective than we hope. Clearly there is a minefield of drama, liability, embarrassment, expense & knowing you are not going be getting laid for a while. Anyone care to comment on how this can be best dealt with? Or perhaps share their experience? -
Society has made some progress in how it views people that identify as bisexual. If someone is in a hetero relationship, and say they are actively bisexual, then logic dictates that there is some sort of non-monogamous something happening there. What is strange to me though is when you read of a celeb or someone in that situation, while the coming out as bi may be accepted and even praised for it's courage and honesty, no one on the receiving end of that information seems to want make that next step to holding the same feelings about the swinging, poly, or whatever situation is involved that is making the bi possible. Is consensual non-monogamy still a bridge too far for society so when it comes to someone in a relationship saying they are bisexual, people just avoid making that next logical step in their mind? Anyone found themselves in a similar situation?
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Reading JustAskJulie's thread about bisexual and bi-curious females in the LS has reminded me of an issue we have encountered while researching couples on another LS site. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what are the opinions out there. We have been members of AFF off and on and have met some really nice couples and made some lasting friendships. As we are a straight couple, there really does not appear to be a lot of other "advertised" straight couples on this and other LS sites. We have found a lot of couples advertise the female as either bi-curious or bisexual in their profile. However, after making contact and chatting with some of these couples, we quickly learn that the female is relieved to learn that Mrs Trophy is definitely not into any female play at all. When we ask as to the reason why the female is profiled as either bi-curious or bisexual, the usual reply is, "well quite frankly, we had previously never received any interest in us as a straight couple until we indicated the female as bi." Don't get us wrong here, we definitely have nothing against anyone bi-sexual or bi-curious. We do not judge anyone, especially when we don't want to be judged ourselves. Our adage has always been to each their own as long as everyone is enjoying themselves and no one is getting hurt or feel offended. However, is it really necessary for a straight couple to update the female profile in such a manner just to attract attention? In our opinion, it would be better to be open and up-front as to your actual intention when trying to attract the attention of another couple. After all, I could see another couple possibly being offended if there was an expectation of female-female play and it became a awkward situation when the couples actually met. In other words, don't put it out there if you do not intend to follow through. Any other thoughts?
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My husband and I are not swingers, but we think our friends are. Swinging has been a topic that they bring up jokingly every month with us. We started hanging out with them regularly a year and a half ago, and things have become increasingly weird. It started out with my friend's husband staring at me during dinner, and with sexual innuendos such as my female friend pretending to hump my face (from a foot away) in front of our husbands. It has since progressed to them trying trade seats with us in cars and on the couch. As well, my friend's husband has started to comment on my appearance and touch me in front of my husband and his wife. My friend seems to have no issue with this, and even prompts him to do it. For example, when we were eating fondue, she mentioned that I did not have my food in the boiling oil, and her husband continued to take my hand and help me cook my food while she was watching. The last time we went to dinner, he made blatant sexual remarks about me, and my friend suggested she wanted to grab my ass and then she kissed me on the check. I had too much to drink that night and apparently ended up cuddling with them on the couch, but I remember nothing. When I found out what I had done I apologized, but they insisted it was a lot of fun and that I should not be ashamed. It's all done in such a way that is subtle enough where my husband does not get offended, yet blatant enough where he also feels that there is a fair to good chance that they are merely trying to casually broach the topic of swapping or something, that we can't quite pinpoint. There's also the factor, that between us, I tend to have more in common in conversation with her husband, where my husband seems to have more in common with his wife, and so, either by accident or intent out conversations often tend to split along those lines. They have also starting pushing us to stay over at their house when we hang out, and they are pushing us to go on trips with them. Based off of this, what would you guys tend to think of the situation, and what are your opinions of what their intents might be? It's especially difficult to discuss how to proceed when there isn't any real certainty in what the actual situation might be. Thank you.
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Hi everyone I have what I believe is kind of a problem. We have had an open marriage for some time but not really very active given life, a child, etc. You get the picture. My husband is a musician, which has entailed going on the road at times, and I have also acknowledged the possibility that he might meet someone and have sex with them, and I'm cool with that. I also am allowed such a option to "date" a man or woman outside of our relationship. However, we had never ever talked about "swinging" with a couple, separately. Earlier this year I was in Las Vegas. While I was gone he "assumed" I must have done something, so he went out to dinner one night and randomly met some couple. Went home with them, fucked the dude's wife, and the only way I found out about it was because his brother had called me because he never showed up to a rehearsal! He had overslept at their place, was a couple of hours late to that rehearsal, etc. When I called him to find out what had happened I got the runaround. Then of course, it all came out when I got home. I was, frankly, livid. The thing is, I don't believe he would have told me as he never expected to get "caught." At that time our marriage was not in a good place and I was really hurt that he would go out and do that, particularly as we had never talked about such a scenario. As far as I was concerned at that time, it was over. Well, on two occasions thereafter, he snuck over to their place to fuck his wife again, and I later found out that the guy sucked his dick at least on one occasion. He snuck back over there on two occasions while I was at work and in the morning. To make a long story short, we finally got our marriage back on track, or so I thought. Prior to that I tried to be open and ask if I could meet them, and initially he said that they would like to meet me. Then he says that well, the guy has porn on all the time he's there, and "I'm a man and I can handle it." WTF? Then he says "you wouldn't like them." WTF? Then he says "I don't want to see you with the guy." So I said, well, then I don't want you with his fucking wife! This is not about sex per se, I have been more than comfortable and cool with it in the past e.g. he recently spent the night with a girl he met on the road who was here on vacation and we all had dinner together and I went home afterwards and he spent the night with her and I was totally fine with it. It is just this particular married couple that is bugging the shit out of me. I have seen as many as 17 to 30 text messages on the bill between them. He told me after we agreed on some kind of "veto power" if necessary, and he has essentially vetoed me, or at least expressed his dislike of the possibility of a certain situation. I am feeling as if my veto has no power, and I have seen their phone number popping up on the cell phone bill. If he had told them it was over, they would not still be contacting him, would they? He has never been really up front with me about these clowns and in the past two weeks it appears that they are texting him again, and it seems as though he is keeping them as some kind of option, and not telling me. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but now I just don't know what to do. I have dug into my feelings and it is not jealousy. It is the deception and the lies and the sly sneaking around which, even in an open relationship, is still in my opinion cheating. Anyhow, thanks for reading my babble
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My wife and I have played for years with my best friend. Usually starts in the hot tub and then progresses to his bedroom. His off/on girlfriend often joins in. We all go to nudist clubs together. Yes, he likes to see the two women together. He just found out that I am bi-sexual. I have never made a move on him or even suggested it. After all these years he sent me a vicious e-mail ending our friendship over this. He ended it with You Suck, Keep on Sucking. I am at a crossroads on whether or not to try to iron this out or just let it go and realize the 20 year friendship is over.
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Ladies, I need your advice. I have tried asking for help on a forum for bisexual women but have been rebuffed (as in my account terminated and message deleted because I was not a woman). So I joined this forum in hopes that some of you can offer me some insight into the female mind. Here is the situation. My wife and I are in our mid-40's. We have been together for almost 20 years and have two kids. We have talked at great length about getting into swinging, but have never made a serious effort to do it. Several weeks ago we were invited to a party by a friend of a friend. We went with two other couples (our friends, and their friends whom we don't know that well). We didn't know anyone else there, but we are very social so we didn't mind. While we were at the party, we learned from the friends of our friends that our host and hostess (as well as several of their guests) were swingers. Since my wife and I had already discussed the idea of swinging we were not bothered by this (though I distinctly got the feeling that the other couple was telling us this just to gossip). Despite our not being bothered by this the husband of this couple felt it necessary to reassure us that this was not a “swinger party”. However, he did add the caveat that our host and hostess did throw very wild parties. Our friends had to leave early (a phone call from the babysitter that they had a sick child). Soon after that their friends (who had invited us) also left (they got into an argument). Since we had drove ourselves and had met a lot of new people we didn't mind. So we stayed, had a few more drinks, etc. About 11 pm I went upstairs to look for my wife. I had been playing pool in the basement with several other men and had last seen my wife socializing with a group of women upstairs. When I came upstairs I did not notice her in the living room (it was a split-level house). As I walked by the second flight of stairs leading to the bedrooms I noticed that there were two men hanging around the door to the master bedroom looking in. I walked up and glanced over their shoulder. On the bed was my wife, laying on her back, with a woman between her legs going down on her. Another woman was straddling my wife's face. Although I could not see her face I could tell that she was licking this woman's pussy. The woman was running her fingers through my wife's hair and grinding her crotch into my wife's face. I could also see my wife's hands moving up and around, caressing the woman's hips and ass. The thing is, my wife has repeatedly told me she is NOT bisexual! I was dumbfounded to say the least. I will not lie, I was incredibly turned on by what I was seeing, but I could not believe she was doing it. I stood there with the two other guys (in complete silence) and watched. Within a few minutes the hostess came walking up the stairs with another woman and loudly announced “Sorry boys, this is for ladies only!”. The two of them then proceeded past us into the bedroom. As the hostess began shutting the door I could see the other woman who had accompanied her upstairs begin to disrobe. I spent the rest of the night in the living room at the bottom of the stairs with one eye up the hallway. Needless to say I was feeling a wash of strong emotions. To be honest, I wasn't actually that angry about her infidelity (I call it infidelity since we had never decided as a couple to actually pursue swinging yet). I was more upset by the fact that she had always told me she wasn't bisexual and the fact that she was doing this alone (like most men I fantasize about watching my wife with another woman and I was missing out on the chance to see it!). I pretended to need to use the bathroom a lot and would sneak down the hallway from the upstairs bathroom to listen in at the bedroom door. I heard everything from moaning, giggling, small talk (which I could not make out), and all out laughter – it was obvious my wife was having a great time with these ladies. About 1:30 in the morning, when most the guests had left (or found other bedrooms, I honestly don't know). The door to the master bedroom finally opened up. Looking up the stairs I watched as the five women filed out and came downstairs. After reaching the bottom of the stairs they all told my wife how great it was meeting her and each gave her a full kiss on the lips (a couple with tongue), which my wife reciprocated. I honestly don't think my wife even realized I was there as this was happening. After the last kiss, I asked her if she was ready to go and her face turned ashen. She meekly said she was and we left the party. We drove home in silence. I wasn't sure where to start and to be honest I just wanted to get home. The next morning we had a long talk about what happened. My wife explained to me that she did not plan for any of that to happen. When I questioned her about her behavior (and even asked if she had lied to me about her sexuality) she said that she never had bisexual feelings when she was younger but she had been fantasizing about being with other women for several years and over the last couple years had found herself physically attracted to other women. She told me that she felt an immediate connection with the woman I had seen going down on her while they were talking downstairs. And that as the night progressed the woman became very flirtatious with her, until it culminated in a kiss and an invitation upstairs, which my wife accepted. Before going upstairs with her this woman excused herself and spoke with the hostess. My wife said she had no idea it was going to be a group sex thing. She said it started with just her and the woman who had kissed her. Then the woman who I had seen straddling her face came in and asked my wife is she could join in. My wife admitted to being both apprehensive and aroused by this but that she did tell her yes. My wife said that before straddling her this woman asked her if she wanted to lick her pussy, to which my wife again replied yes. It was after this that I saw what was going on. My wife said she had no idea that the two other men and I were watching. I asked my wife if she went down on any of the other women (after the door was shut) and she told me she went down on all of them, more than once, and that they all went down on her multiple times as well. I asked her why she kept saying yes and at first she said she doesn't know but then admitted it was because she wanted to do it. Here is where I need your insight ladies. I have forgiven my wife and we are working past this. However, I am still having a tough-time believing that a woman who was straight 20 years ago could end up in a “lesbian-orgy” in her 40's. My wife is sticking to this story and has told me that it isn't uncommon for a woman's sexuality to change throughout her life (she has a friend who did not come out as a lesbian until she was in her late 30's). Is this accurate? Is it plausible that my wife really was straight 20 years ago but could now be bisexual? If this has happened to any of you, I would very much like to know. If there is any truth to this I will accept my wife's answer and we will move on. If this isn't accurate then it means we have a lot more to work out and I would desperately like to know that as well. Thank you.
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We know of a couple and they know a couple that do the same...lie to playmates when playing separately. Let me explain, both couples play separately most of the time and seem to have an open marriage. They are into having boyfriends/girlfriends. However, the wife of couple A, goes out on dates with men, doesn't tell them that she's married, doesn't tell them that she's a swinger, and goes out as often as possible on dates. She explains that the sitter (the husband) is watching the kids and seems to spend as much time as possible with the boyfriend. Husband of couple B, seems to do the same with his girlfriend(s). Is this really that common? When I first found out that the wife of couple A was dishonest with her boyfriends, it was a personality/behavioral turn-off. I, personally, do not like to lie and it doesn't help that I am an awful liar. The one time that I had to lie about something major, I developed a facial tic that went away once I came clean. I also find that it is being disrespectful of the playmates' feelings. They don't know the whole story and could have other motives other than sex. Perhaps they will think that they have "found the one" and will be devastated when told the truth or get dumped. Mr. Sunbuckus and I have come to a hypothesis that they lie because they want to feel the complete sense of "dating" and being the possible center of attention to their boyfriend/girlfriend. What other reason could there be? I was also just thinking about how this kind of behavior might put a bad reputation on swingers as a community.
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Do you tell your sexual partners about your open marriage?
Oleg&Lena posted a topic in Swinging Solo
I have a question for couples who have or had open marriage. Do you let your sexual partners know about your open relationships in marriage? And why do you do so? How did your sexual partners take it? -
TMI on significant other's playdates?
swvacouplelookn posted a topic in Polls & Never-Ending Threads
Just curious here, but how do you feel about getting all the juicy and/or brutal details of your significant other's play dates when playing alone? It will be interesting to hear the reasons behind your answers as well. -
I ended a three-year experiment at a swingers' hook-up site. I wanted a way to identify in-advance the guys who place couples ads when they are really acting only for themselves. So I created a second on-line profile for ourselves, this one without pictures and describing basically the same wants and desires but with a key statement that was not in our primary profile, "If you're married and get caught, don't expect us to lie for you." We were startled to discover how many men went for this bait. We received stuff like "I want to meet you but I have to be discreet"; "I'm interested but my wife isn't"; "Does your female half meet men and oh by-the-way I can only meet her during the day." We even snagged a gal, "My husband isn't interested any more." Well, all of this was becoming boring but what really propelled the decision to end the experiment was receiving a message from a guy we know and with whom we have played. We thought that he and his wife had their shit together and were really the perfect example of a swing couple. Now we have a moral dilemma on our hands. Should we get the word to his wife, who is apparently not aware of his fooling around? Should we simply pretend we don't know? Well, we have decided that we would have been better off not knowing. So the second profile is now gone and we are not going to tip off anybody's spouse. It was an interesting experiment but it is now ended. -
This morning, someone started a thread poll entitled "Is your spouse the best lover ever?" It made me think. Would I really want to ask Mr. Fuse that question? Of course there's only one right answer, but even the way that answer is given can be deadly. "Does he really mean it"? "That sounded defensive". "You're just being nice". "You have to say that; I'm your wife". More generally, I think that question is a little like "Do these jeans make me look fat?", only more serious. "Am I the best lover you've ever had"? has to be one of a definite set of dangerous questions in the swinging world. (It could be even worse if you ask "Is your playmate better than me"?) There are more things we all dread being asked. We know this class of questions by our reactions to them. Eyes get a little bit wide, sudden intake of breath, half a step backwards... adrenaline kicks in... we only think about survival. It's like asking swingers "Do you really always use condoms"? or "Have you ever had an STD"?, or "Are we your favorite playmates"? or "Have you ever loved a playmate"? There are just some things it doesn't pay to ask. Anyone have additions to this list, comments, or stories? I'm sure there are some doozies out there.
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So, a couple floored me and admitted they're positive for genital warts. My initial reaction was, "why the f*ck are you swinging!!?" I, of course, started looking into what it means and how it's transmitted. Genital warts are very contagious. You can get them during oral, vaginal, or anal sex with an infected partner. You can also get them by skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, or (rarely) oral sex with someone who is infected. About two-thirds of people who have sexual contact with a partner with genital warts will develop warts, usually within 3 months of contact. If you are infected but have no symptoms, you can still spread HPV to your sexual partner and/or develop complications from the virus. So, would you advise your immediate play group to avoid them, since they're obviously not taking themselves out of the game? They're still having oral and kissing (I witnessed this), and who knows what else. It's incredibly selfish of them to still be showing up at swing events, in my opinion. What do we do? Thanks, Mrs. D -
Everyone here does know that cold sores or fever blisters in the mouth area means you have herpes HSV1? Do you disclose to all your potential partners that you have herpes before you kiss them or go down on them? You could be shedding the virus even if you do not have a sore.
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Ok, we've been reading these STD related discussions, and trying to decide what we should do. We know we might be HSV and HPV carriers just like 80-90% of the population. We are not symptomatic and haven't been active outside of our relationship for 10 years, but we are still going to be tested for all other possibilities before we go any further. What bothers me, is that given the number of people that visit this site, there aren't more that admit to being carriers of the more common infections. We couldn't find any couple in our area that doesn't say D/D free. As far as we're concerned, it's the symptoms that are the real turn-off. If we found another couple that is not symptomatic, but is honest that they may have contracted something we already have, we would not have a problem swinging with them. I mean, what's the harm? Hell, we feel that our mutual honesty would help to alleviate our own misgivings, and might help everyone relax. What we're getting at is, we realize there's a negative stigma about having an STD, but if we're all carriers and not symptomatic then why not be honest. Oh sure you can lie just so you can get that tasty virgin couple into bed, but at what cost? I thought we were all beyond the player tactics. I would like to hear from the rest of you about this. Do you feel that if a couple/person is non-symptomatic, but admits that they may have an STD you already have, that you would still be turned off? How many here have been tested recently? We plan on being tested within 3 months of any sexual contact. We don't suspect we'll find anything more, but we'd rather know than spread something. Come on people, most of us should know that the majority of the population has HPV and HSV, so why is it such a threat? In many cases, you don't even have to be sexually active to contract either. Thanks Julie for the site. I don't know if that's you in your avatar, but it reminds me (TriumphGuy) of an old girlfriend.
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I need some advice about how to break the news to my wife that I am going to enter the lifestyle. I have been married for more than 30 years I am over 55. Our sex life has never been “robust” to say the lease. After she went through menopause it got worse. It is now “conditional”. If the conditions aren’t right we don’t do. When we do, it is after 10 pm, in the dark, no oral, she is done in 15 min, me on top and I am bored. She will not talk about it, seek medical help, or take any effort to make it better. My sex drive has always been high. I had numerous affair 25 years ago, but have been faithful ever since. I will not cheat on her, but I will not stay faithful in a marriage without satisfying sex. Life is rapidly passing me by. I will not get a divorce, and want someone to tell me how to break the news that I am seeking safe couples to play with. I would love for her to join me, but little chance of that. Any help is appreciated. Thanks -
Being paranoid, we've done some research into STDs and the chance of catching something during swinging. It seems that about 70% of people have oral Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 (HSV-1). Oral HSV-1 can be passed to others as either oral or genital herpes. People are most contagious during a visible outbreak, but are also contagious at other times through asymptomatic viral shedding. Our questions are: 1) If you have oral herpes, do you tell your potential playmates? 2) If you tell people, is it just during an outbreak or all the time? 3) If you don't have herpes, what precautions do you take to prevent catching it orally or genitally? 4) Do you think people with oral herpes are obligated to tell potential playmates? Even though 70% of people have oral HSV-1, we've never heard it mentioned at a swing club.
