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This is a question for those who are long-term marrieds--say a decade or more--and who have been in the LS for a while. The traditional wedding vows often contain verbiage along the following lines: "Do you, _______, take _______ to be your wife/husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her/him, forsaking all others and holding only unto her/him?" Interestingly, vow renewals are typically more complex and nuanced, for example: "You have changed since then. I have changed, and the world around us has changed most of all. But one thing has not changed. 25 years ago, I promised to love you, to give of my best to you, to cherish and keep you no matter what else happened. I have not always lived up to my best intentions but I have always loved you. I still love you. I love you more now than I did then because I know you better now. And I've matured: the sharp edges of youth have mellowed, increasing my capacity for, and my pleasure in love. We've watched our babies grow up and become independent. We've moved, we've had successes and setbacks we've weathered a good many storms. Some of the things we worried about turned out not to matter at all. What really mattered was our love. The one constant in our lives has grown stronger and I thank you now for the joy you've given me during these 25 years together. I still promise to love you, honor you, cherish and keep you. I continue to want you, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. Whatever the future may hold for us, we will always have our love. It is enough." These are not ours, but they are typical samples. Little question that the renewal vow reflects the realities of marriage and even includes an allusion to infidelity, viz : "I have not always lived up to my best intentions...". Here is the question: How has your experience in the LS reshaped your vows, if at all? If you were to renew your vows today, what would be different? Yeah, easy question, we know.
