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We're headed to St Maartin for vacation tomorrow and we were debating whether or not all naturalists were exhibitionists and if either were necessarily swingers...curious to have input. We'll be eyeballing people on the nude beaches and may wonder if they're swingers or not... Comments please.... -
So I stopped talking about the number of Guys I've had sex with a long time ago as it tends to shock people. So this is a two part question. How many men can a woman sleep with before she is considered a slut? What is the number of men that a woman could sleep with that would shock you or make you reconsider playing with her?
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This is the wife half asking this question. Am I correct in the definition of a poly in the fact that it means you believe you can love more than one person at the same time? If so, I am a little confused on how that can be. I guess I always felt that if you are truly in love your heart and soul is to that one person. How can you love more than one person at once and still feel that it is really love to both or either person? Please don’t take my question as a negative one, I am just very curious and would love to learn about how it works. I have only recently learned or heard about the lifestyle of polyamores, so I am intrigued and curious to learn a bit more on it. Also how then do you feel that you have met your soulmate, or do you believe there is no such thing or even possibly more than one soulmate for you? Thank you for any replies that may help me to understand this better. -
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I have always had an interest in the human definition, just who are we? What drives us? Who actually defines us? I know I was never asked....or given the questionnaire. As always it is those not living how others are or maintain power or try to be that desperately try to define all of us into a box. I’ve always been curious, always asking why because the bottles, jars and boxes we all get shoved into never hold true. My take away? Humans are: Curious Adventurous Emotional Highly social Desire acceptance Absolute need for contact, touch Emotional connection, attachment Happiness.... ....collectively we want to be happy. We want at the end of our efforts, happiness. So with that in mind why the imposed monogamy question? Maybe a better question is why the varying definitions to adapt to the wide variety of cultures, beliefs countries when in fact we were not made to be mono anything since the beginning of time without being taught, threatened and social outcasts for not taking part in the norm. Mate sharing, spouse sharing and combined expanded family arrangements have been around since before history. The last 2,000 years monogamy, authority of the one, singular, grew but always had the old ways nipping at its heals. In my readings I recently came across an interesting article, below: Why Monogamy Isn't The death of compulsory monogamy and viewing monogamy as only a social good Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CASA, CSE The Polyamorists Next Door https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201508/why-monogamy-isnt As most everyone in this group lives or wants to live a less than monogamous lifestyle you might find it an interesting read. -
Hello Everyone. My wife and I have specialized in threesomes (fmf & mfm). My wife's ultimate fantasy is a gangbang. We organized one once, some guys didn't show up and we ended up having a mfm (again) with the only guy that was there. Then, (not related to the event) we decided to have a baby and stopped any sex meeting for about a year and half now. We will start meeting people again in a few months. Question (1) would be: Are we swingers by doing only threesomes? We talk a lot about my wife's fantasy and she'd love to be with 4 or 5 guys around her always, when we meet people from now on. We will also be meeting girls for fmf. I wouldn't mind to try 3 girls around me, but single women are so much harder to find! We love the energy of one person in the middle surrounded by the opposite sex. Question (2): Is Gangbang swinging? Hope to get that answered. Thanks!
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From a swingers' hook-up Web site, we receive this message from a couple saying that they seek a polyamorous relationship and ask, would we be interested. This makes me wonder how many different meanings do people carry around in their heads. I am fairly certain that it is not a goal but rather something that might develop; something four people might fall into without knowing even that it is happening until they wake up one day to a realization that it has become a fact. Analogous to two people "falling in love" except more than two people are involved. Am I correct? -
I'm just wondering why each swingers site has different terms for Bi-sexual play. Bi-friendly, Bi-curious, open minded, Bi-comfortable, etc, etc. Seems to me that three terms, Bi-active, Bi-passive and Bi-closed say it all. If a man or woman says they are B-active that would mean they're open to being the Bi initiator with a same sex partner. A woman or man who isn't strictly Bi could say Bi-passive meaning they'd be OK receiving the attention of a Bi-active same sex partner, right? Bi-closed means no Bi play at all. Three terms no ambiguity or am I missing something? What's your take on this?
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Back when we dipped our pinky toe 1/8th of a way into the poly pool, we used the term "primary" as a way to show that someone took first priority over any other boyfriend/girlfriend. While I like to have things organized and feel comforted in the knowledge that certain people are important to me...it chafes me to think that I may have used this terminology in a way that may have made others feel like a second-class human being. We also used "primary" as a way to protect our marriage. But as More Than Two's page states--protect it from what? So is the use of primary/secondary more destructive and/or negative than it is helpful? -
The wife is very adamant "I'm not bi". She will play with women and loves the challenge of making a woman squirt. She has been with women and they say she is VERY good orally. She say it's fun but does not get her sexually excited. It's only as the mood strikes. So what defines bi?
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If a husband (or wife) sits home while his/her spouse goes out and gets laid, is this a part of swinging? Why?
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I thought this brought up a good question... Right now, I am expressing my poly-ness much more than my swinger-ness. Mostly because I like the poly community here more than I like what I've seen of the swinger community, but also because my primary desires change over time. A year ago, I was all about the swinging, so the one that I'm most interested in or focused on changes based on a few factors. Which do you consider yourself FIRST? Are you a swinger who also happens to be poly or a poly person who happens to swing? Or are both equal identities for you? Would you be able to give up one or the other (or both)? -
OK, I replied to another thread where the poster said they were into voyeurism and exhibitionism and said that he thought that made them soft swingers. My definition of swinging is that in order to swing you must have sexual interaction with others outside of your primary relationship, and soft swinging would be sexual interaction up to but not including penetration. So I wouldn't consider people who were into voyeurism and exhibitionism exclusively to actually be swingers. My question is are voyeurs and exhibitionists swingers?
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In your mind, is there a difference? If so, what is the distinction? If not, why not?
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My wife is bi-sexual, but she doesn't like being called that. Her friend calls her that all the time. She has been with two women (once with me and once with a couple without me) and she has done everything with them. She doesn't like to refer to herself as bi and she likes to act like she isn't, but we know she is and enjoyed her experiences as she dove right in each time (no pun intended) Any suggestions on how to get her to accept this about herself?
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First of all, this is not a soft swing bashing thread, nor is it a thread whining about how tough it can be to be a soft swinger. My goal is to find out how our experiences are in line with those of others. Our soft swing definition- Any combination of sexual activities (kissing, oral, fingers, hands, etc) excluding the man penetrating the woman with his penis. We have played with a few soft swing couples and found out during or after that every one of them has had insecurities, marriage problems, or significant trepidation. The friends we have spoken to about this have said that their experience with soft swing couples has been similar. I know there are soft swing couples that don’t have any of that baggage and that we would love to play and be friends with, but what I’m wondering is- QUESTION: Is this uncertainty significantly more common with soft swing couples than full swap couples? If so, I would imagine it could be frustrating to be a down to earth, stable, secure soft swing couple trying to find others that are the same. All that said, maybe I am way off base. What are your thoughts?
