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Showing results for tags 'lying'.
Found 9 results
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I just heard an idea from a couple of putting in their profile that they are soft-swing only even though they are actually full-swap, for the purpose of eliminating any contact from swingers who were just out for the sex and not looking to actually develop relationships/friendships. What is your take on this? How would you feel if you were a soft-swinging couple that contacted this couple? Or if you were a full-swap couple that suddenly found out that this couple was now an option when you might have thought otherwise based on their profile? How do you feel about this type of deception, is it ok?
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On SLS, vanilla sites, and everyday life I have come across married men pretending they are single. Often I can filter these guys out quickly but looking for tips from others. I like to be sure I am having honest fun.
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- married playing single
- deception
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Last night we were chatting with a lady online that we thought was interesting. We obviously asked for a face pic of her and her husband. It became painfully apparent that although they were a nice looking couple, she was lying about their age by at least ten years, and if I was to hazard a guess 15 years or more. I mean it was really egregious. I am not sure exactly what they are thinking. Since this whole thing gets built on trust I am really pretty appalled. Frankly, if you are ready to lie to us in that regard, what happens next? Kinda feel me on this? We are spot on with our age in our profile, and I can see shaving of five? But ten or fifteen, do you really think people are that oblivious, or you are that good looking? I do not know no maybe I am being too offended by this, but I got admit, I am pretty offended. I was wondering who else has run into this, and how they feel? Maybe I just needed to vent. Maybe I just needed to let this be a warning. If you are misreporting your age, it is painfully obvious. Don't do it.- 10 replies
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- age and swinging
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Hi, my hubby and I have been married 8 yrs and are really happy. We have sex at least everyday so that isn't a prob. We have always talked about swap/playing together. We have never discussed anything alone, nor did it cross my mind. He recently told me he thought a chick was hot. (she is a mom in my son's class) then it turned out she is also a mom at son's sport practice. After that he tells me he wants to "hit it". I was floored cuz he doesn't want me involved. We could start swapping or bring in another female, but he says that isn't enough. He wants to know he can still get someone into bed that is a challenge, that it is about the ego boost. He doesn't get why I am jealous of her but wouldn't be of a another woman/couple I was also involved in, that either way it is sex. The couples we know are in love and just having fun and I think that is great and could see how it would benefit their marriage, also their fun is very discreet. I asked if he would rather me stay home from practice and he said yeah kinda. He wants to see how far he can take it with her. Since she is single, I am worried she will not be discreet, and he doesn't want to tell her I know, for fear he won't get laid. He also wants me to go out on dates with other men and let him listen to sex. I would rather we just all be there no matter what we do, guess he doesn't feel the same. Given all the sex he gets and all the options I am giving him, I don't think it's fair to go out and date this/these women (if more arise in the future). All while I am at home alone, or having to face this woman that thinks I dont know my husband is doing this. Not to mention she is not the only parent that I know at these practices. He says he wont be too obvious, but that doesn't keep her from talking. This isn't about us but only about him and that upsets me. I don't think he is gonna fall for her/them, just don't understand why he wants to do stuff without me. He says he is way into me, and that this is just about his ego and doesn't reflect on me. Is he justified in his wants and expectations? Am I being unrealistic to think we could swap if I cannot handle him doing this? Please give me your thoughts!!
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We know of a couple and they know a couple that do the same...lie to playmates when playing separately. Let me explain, both couples play separately most of the time and seem to have an open marriage. They are into having boyfriends/girlfriends. However, the wife of couple A, goes out on dates with men, doesn't tell them that she's married, doesn't tell them that she's a swinger, and goes out as often as possible on dates. She explains that the sitter (the husband) is watching the kids and seems to spend as much time as possible with the boyfriend. Husband of couple B, seems to do the same with his girlfriend(s). Is this really that common? When I first found out that the wife of couple A was dishonest with her boyfriends, it was a personality/behavioral turn-off. I, personally, do not like to lie and it doesn't help that I am an awful liar. The one time that I had to lie about something major, I developed a facial tic that went away once I came clean. I also find that it is being disrespectful of the playmates' feelings. They don't know the whole story and could have other motives other than sex. Perhaps they will think that they have "found the one" and will be devastated when told the truth or get dumped. Mr. Sunbuckus and I have come to a hypothesis that they lie because they want to feel the complete sense of "dating" and being the possible center of attention to their boyfriend/girlfriend. What other reason could there be? I was also just thinking about how this kind of behavior might put a bad reputation on swingers as a community.
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So my wife and I started swinging a few years ago with her playing with a close male friend of hers, everything was good, we enjoyed the sex and started looking for others to play with, while it was exciting we didn't find too many couples to play with and only had a few experiences with another couple. She has continued to play with her first friend (when they see each other, as he lives far far away). The problem lies in that she has broken some of the rules and while this upset me at the time we moved past it and agreed on a way to get around it (or so I thought). It has happened again where she has got 'caught in the moment' and broke the rules again, then lied to not hurt my feelings, when i do find out about it, it's pretty painful, again we talk through it, and seem to agree it can't happen again. Well, I have a suspicion that it has happened again, that she is lying about something, either to keep from hurting me, or because it is not a big deal (like lying that they spoke on the phone, which I don't really care about, but why lie about it?)... I am wondering if I should be snooping or looking for a lie or what I should do since confronting her doesn't seem to work...how does someone rebuild this trust? Thanks for the help, just looking for other ways I can get her to open up so we can discuss this...
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This is me on the outside looking in. I will try to describe this situation as best I can. I have some swinger friends who have a single male friend whom the husband of the couple I am friends with has been friends with since childhood. The situation lies with the single male friend. What's funny to me is that when he's single he is a very active swinger. He tends though to date vanilla girls. He claims that he is completely monogamous when he dates. (but of course has a lifetime membership to one of the swinger websites) He is now in what I would call a serious relationship. He has been dating the same girl for about a year. She is completely in love with him and of course they spend a good amount of time with my friends. The girlfriend sees my friend (the wife of the couple) as a good friend and confidant. What I have failed to mention so far is that yes the single male and my friends have had a swinging relationship. It did stop when he became involved with the girl. The single male friend (knowing that the girlfriend may hear some conversations that would leave her scratching her head) outs my friends as swingers to his girlfriend but of course leaves out the "minor" detail that he is as well. You know kind of running damage control so that she won't think anything of some off color conversation that she may overhear. Here is my question. They have chosen to keep their involvement with each other a secret from her. This is just my opinion, but I would feel wrong being a confidant and close friend of someone that I had such a big secret to hide from them. I would not want the worrying all the time that someone would reveal our secret (my friend likes to mix her vanilla and swinger friends at vanilla parties). Why leave a bomb like that waiting to go off at any moment? Tell the truth, get it out there so she can decide whether it's something she can deal with and move on. I feel sorry for this girl at times because know I would probably feel like a fool if everyone knew this but me and I found out after my relationship had been serious for a while. I hope ya'll were able to get the situation I was trying to describe. I am curious to see what the majority thinks on this. -
Ok let me lay some background on our weekend...me and the mrs. went to nashville last night to go tour favorite club and we had fun over all. Met this couple that seemed cool, they were nice, we danced, alot of grinding going on, chemistry seemed to be there, and then we decided to play, so we got a private room at the club. It was really hot watching the other Mrs going down on my wife and some heavy foreplay. Then the other Mrs had not gotten naked yet. Although I soon found myself in a situation finding out that she looked better with clothes on, and I lost the mood totally after that. However, I was polite, this couple finishes with each other anyway, so it just accelerated her going back to her husband. Me and the Mrs... just made out while they finished, and didn't make a seen. We had a fun night anyway, all things considered. I know what does this have to do with profiles. Now if it wasn't bad enough that I was turned off, when we got home, me and the mrs. decided to just go look at the profile SLS and I started reading their profile. I get a couple of minutes into the profile, and my wife points out the weight that they had posted. Don't get me wrong we realize that many probably understate or underestimate by 10 lbs., but this couple had understated by 40-50 lbs on the female half and 20-30 lbs on male half. This just made the situation worse, because I thought I was being nice by not causing a scene. However, now I'm sitting here viewing these individuals as blatant liars. Someone, Please tell me have you found yourself in a situation where you wanted someone to put their clothes back on, and what did you do? (keep in mind, I'm not the Ken doll, and that we really aren't that superficial) Also, More Importantly: Please tell me what are your views on this obviously blatant False Advertising on profiles for swinging/dating sites?:eek:
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A lot of people like to bitch about how hard some of us are on single guys in swinger discussions. I'm the guy half of a couple and I have to admit that at first I used to feel bad for single guys when I would see this. It just seems rude that so many people instinctively jump on single guys and berate them. Once we got a little more experienced in swinging and interacting with people online I started to understand why people are so hard on "single" swinger guys on web sites. As if the going on in another thread isn't enough of a blatant example already, there was a news story about a woman in our area that made the mistake of trusting somebody that she met online. In the case of the news story, a woman in our area met a single guy who was claiming to be a couple. When she met the guy in person, his story was most likely "My wife couldn't make it but she told me to have fun with you anyway, we do this all the time, it's okay". Some guys will say that in advance when they mail you, they will contact you with "Hi, I'm Bob's wife, I'm out of town on business, but I'm looking for somebody to entertain him." In the case of the woman in our area, apparently she didn't fall for his excuses so he just raped her when he couldn't get her to consent. That's a perfect illustration of why you don't want to have anything to do with a guy that is into deception. Guys that are into hiding outside sex from their wives are already lying to get sex. They also obviously lie to the women that they are trying to have sex with. If they disrespect you enough to try to trick you into bed with lies, then they are probably capable of much more evil, like our local rapist was. If you get the slightest hint that somebody is being deceptive then stay away from them entirely. A crazy and uninhibited sex romp with no strings attached is an attractive concept, but it's not worth the risk of getting raped by some lunatic. The only way to be absolutely certain that you aren't fucking somebody else's husband is if you are fucking him while his wife is in the room cheering for both of you. Even if all that you're interested in is guys, you're still better off with people that aren't deceptive or insane. If you hook up with single guys in motels after meeting them online, then you're putting yourself at a huge risk of eventually encountering the guy that is fucking you while his wife is at work and his baby is napping unattended, or the guy that has no ability to relate to women but wants sex so badly that he'll lie to you and rape you when it doesn't work, or the guy who is HIV positive and can't get laid if he admits it to women so he meets them online for anonymous sex. In the last year that my wife and I have had a profile on web sites, we have seen so many attempts at deception and we have heard so many stories about encounters with single guys that have gone horribly awry that I'm starting to realize that there really are reasons why people pick on them so much. I know that this message is going to piss some people off, but I think that it's worth talking about because there is at least one woman on this board that until recently had the mistaken notion that single Internet guys would be a safer introduction to swinging than going out to a swing club alone. That's simply not true and if somebody has to be explicit about advising women that are new to swinging against meeting single Internet guys, then that somebody will have to be me. Ladies, there are a lot of psychos out there, please be careful. If you go to a club and swing with a couple then you will have a sense of whether or not they really are a real married couple. If they are a real married couple and you get any sense of trust for the wife then the guy that you're dealing with has a ringing endorsement from his wife that he's a guy that can respect his women and who is decent in bed. If she's sitting there watching you and cheering while you fuck him then you know that she's not going to show up and shoot at you when she finds her husband cheating with you. Even if you're not bisexual there are plenty of couples that will be thrilled to play with you. I really would advise new single women to just head straight for places like off-premises parties and swingers' clubs where they will find swinging couples rather than single guys. I personally recommend going to parties that don't let single guys in at all, since I have personally seen cases where even the single guys in swingers' clubs are actually married cheaters with wives who don't know that they are there fucking other women. You can take my recommendation or ignore it, I'm not going to declare myself the swinger expert, but I'm putting it out there as a recommendation either way. This is pretty much the only issue in swinging that pisses me off enough that I'm willing to be involved in a flame war over it, and I'm not going to apologize for offending anybody. If you're the one single guy in your area that's not a delusional psychopath then I do feel sorry for you, but you have to admit that your voice is just lost in the howling volume of the masses of idiots that give the "single guy" crowd a bad name in general.
