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Showing results for tags 'making the first move'.
Found 17 results
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Hi all. This is my first post. My husband and I are new to swinging. With his job we are unable to really pursue swinging locally so our options are kind of limited. We do have a second home in another state so we typically try to look there or wait for our trips to Desire. With this, our playing doesn't get to happen like we would like. We have some friends who asked us about Desire and we took them there. Since they are friends we haven't really approached them about the possibility of playing. They have never played with anyone but I do know they are looking to spice up their marriage. They are close friends, but becoming closer. Anyone ever approached this? TIA
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Hi we are fairly new to the lifestyle and really new to RV'ing, which brings me to me question if you are say in a nudist camp how do you approach people to see if the are active in the lifestyle? Thanks Randy and Phyllis -
We've been to several swinger clubs and my wife and I usually engage each other. What is your go to move if you want to play with others? We have been newcomers at the clubs we've been to so it's not like we have friends there--makes it tougher. We are also in our mid 50s and seem older than average. -
Hi from Colombia again! After many conversations (for years) with Mrs. Lucasex and a failed attempt of a MFM with a friend (who finally said no), we took the courage to contact a couple through a swingers website. We met a couple about three weeks ago, but there was no chemistry, although we had a nice time drinking cocktails. A second couple followed and this was much better, so much that Mrs. Lucasex wanted us to meet them again a couple of days after, with the clear intention of going further (maybe a hotel room). Unfortunately, we had to leave early, so it only went as far as a couple of beers, but it was clear that we had finally gotten the courage to take the next step. The other couple has some experience (a couple of full swaps and two MFMs), but they have been very patient and don’t consider themselves to be so far ahead of us. As a matter of fact, they said that they had never had such a good time just having drinks with another couple before. The male of the other couple works about a 4-hour drive away from our city, and he gets to come home every month or so, so we are planning to meet in an intermediate town a Saturday night (probably in ten days); the female lives in our same city, and the three of us would drive to meet her husband. We plan to go dancing, have some drinks and then go somewhere else. Our concern is: how do you break the ice? I mean, after we have had some drinks and danced, one of us will have to pop the question of going somewhere else. And this is when nerves take control… once we get to the hotel room, what should we do? How do we start? I have read about it here some forums, but considering this is our first time and they have some more experience (even though they don’t presume of it), we are terrified of things going wrong… should we let them make the first move? Or should we go for it? (we don’t know how is it going to feel). We are confident that we want to jump in the water with them, we trust them and they are not rushing us, but when the time comes… what? Sorry again if I made any mistakes with my English (Spanish is my first language) and for asking so many questions at once. We really want to do this, but naturally fear the decisive moment. We don’t want to disappoint them either, although they have assured us that they will go at our pace (which is good, isn’t it?). Thanks in advance for all your advice! Mr. Lucasex -
Thank you for the warm welcome. How do you go about asking another couple if they are interested in watching or maybe joining in? We both have a desire to see each other with the opposite sex but not sure if it will hurt our relationship. I am very secure with my physique and size so I don't think it would bother me. We have set up ground rules for when the time comes I just don't know how I will feel. I think I would be incredibly turned on because MFM is our favorite porn. Thoughts? -
Ok, I've been curious about testing the waters out on the other side. I've been thinking about it quite a bit for a while now. My SO and I have talked about it and she is really supportive of me and my decisions. One problem, I have no idea on even how to begin. I mean I've never approached or had conversation with a guy on that level. When this does happen my SO will be with me and most likely it's probably gonna be in a MMF or maybe in a MFMF setting but even then what can I do to make it easier for me? I know I will probably be nervous. What can I do to ease my nerves once it happens and what's the best way to be in (bottom/top)? Any info would be greatly appreciated.- 17 replies
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For all my hesitation and stress over mailing and meeting, I happened on a couple when checking out a club attendance list. I find them very interesting and would love to meet them. I get anxiety over the idea of meeting with a couple that I don't really know anything about and don't know of any common ground. I just don't know what to say there. I am too far out of my element there. I don't like being out of my element. So this couple is physically similar to us and has choices and interests that we share. I am actually interested in getting together with them just to talk about those things if nothing else. Any tips on formulating an e-mail to initiate possible interest? I have sent a few of these things with nothing really coming of it, partially on our part in some cases. I'd really like this one to be different. The Rose -
My wife and I have been exploring the LS for about a year now...we spent most of the first year trying to meet couples one-on-one (or I guess, two-on-two), and while we did meet some nice people, we also found that it was very hard to find people we were compatible with. So several months ago, even though we're not club/party people otherwise, we decided to start going to some of the local meet & greets and LS clubs in our area. We've found this a MUCH better way to meet new people, but because we're new to the scene and not really the "party" types otherwise, we generally wait for others to approach us, rather than introduce ourselves. Occassionally we'll see a couple we recognize (from pics) online and introduce ourselves, but the majority of the time we just wait for people to come to us. While we have met some great people, we're worried that others may think we're standoffish or not interested. Perhaps more importantly, when we do get into a conversation with a couple we're interested in, we're never sure what to say/where to take the dialogue to show them that we're "into" them. We usually wind up saying "Nice meeting you" to the couples we're not interested in, and something a little more overt like "Great meeting you...hope to get to chat again/see you later in the evening" to couples we ARE intrested in, which we guess might sound like a disinterested comment to some. So while I'm sure there have been other threads to address this, we were wondering if anyone could give advice (if you're a "quieter" couple, we'd love to hear how you've dealt with things) on the best ways to both initiate conversations and (more importantly) let a couple know your interested without coming off as sexually aggressive. Thanks in advance! -
How to show/determine interest at 1st meet
2 in C-bus posted a topic in Finding People to Swing With
We are going on our first couple/couple "date" this weekend. We were invited to a social at a vanilla bar a few weeks ago by a different couple. We went with the intention of just meeting a few couples. We did not, and never had the intention of playing that evening, though we did get along quite nicely with the coulpe that invited us. The no playing rule we set for ourselves (and informed the other couple about before we met) really worked out well-it took all the pressure off. Another couple has invited us to dinner this weekend. They are pretty new to the LS just like us. This time we have no rules against playing. In fact, we'd like to play if the connection is there. We have our signals worked out for if we would like things to progress past the restaurant. My question: how do we guage the other couples interest? Short of asking them "wanna go get nekkid?" In our email contacts with this other couple all that has been discussed is the ladies playing with each other-it's what both couples are in to right now. Should Mrs. 2 make the first move? Any lines that work well? Thanks. -
We have been to a few house parties in the past and a new couple has invited us over next week for an evening of hot tubbing and whatever. My question is this, how do you start the actual act? This might sound funny but I find the hardest part is getting things started in a private house setting (with only 2 couples). We aren't into ice breaker games but does anyone have a few suggestions? You ended up talking for hours waiting for the first move to be made...help. -
When you are invited to visit someone's house, who makes the first move? Dog and I went to this couples house a few weeks ago. We played pool all night. It was clear as air that the plan was to play, but hour after hour, we just kept playing pool. Dog tried to move things along by making a strip game of it. Down to no cloths and still nothing? Finally Dog got up put his hand out for the mrs. to take then finally things moved along. We went into their "playroom" and started to play...with our own partners. Then moved onto playmates. What then struck me as strange we only did oral. At no point did the other couple show interest in sex. We new about their rules, but none stated no intercourse. We then hung out and chatted for awhile. Finally at 5am Dog and I left. I was over the top tired and had to work in just a few short hours, so did Dog. I'm just not sure what to think about this. If it is your first playdate at someone else's house, should the hosts dictate(to some extent) the movement of the night? If they were a regular play couple the I could see the first move being anyone's, but first time? What do you all think? Still new and feeling things out here. -
First I feel poll crazy!!!! Was reading another thread kind of about when people party (fuck). How long do you have to know them? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Hopefully this will be another good poll. Also I believe you can vote without having to leave a comment. -
Hello. My girlfriend and I enjoy participating in MFM threesomes. We have done so on various occasions with friends. One of our friends is very shy and we have trouble getting him to participate. To date we have only had one encounter with him. It was very difficult to get him to open up, however once he relaxed we had a great time. He is a very close friend. He currently does have a girlfriend but barley sees her because it is a long distance relationship. (Sorry if we sound unethical for trying to have fun with someone who is in a relationship - if that offends anyone.) Anyway, our friend comes over often and the three of us always watch porn together. He is open enough to masturbate in his pants while he is here, but is too shy to do anything else. The three of us will be taking a trip to a neighboring state later this month and we will be staying the night in the same room. We would really like to have a threesome with him that evening but we are unsure of how to get him to open up. Other then us he has never had another threesome experience. Other then getting him drunk, does anyone have any good tips or advice on how to make him comfortable and understand he can trust us to keep what happens behind closed doors to ourselves? Also any tips on how to get him horney and motivated? I figured I would ask everyone here since many have probably have much more experience then we do. Any help or tips that could be provided would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, PA College Couple
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Ok, you veterans are going to get a kick out of this. Been to about 6 socials. Been the hit of the party, pics on the website. Danced a lot at the social and later "upstairs" . We are an attractive couple and people seem to like us a lot. I tend to flirt more with the ladies because I'm bi and enjoying sex with another woman is #1 with me. Guys are great but not what we are seeking although we have enjoyed couple/couple soft swap before and they are never excluded. Now for the question... We are missing a very important step and I don't know how to insert it. Everyone just takes it for granted that we have all this experience because we are comfortable in the atmosphere, which we are. I believe they are waiting for us to make the request "do you want to play?" or perhaps they are asking us and we just don't realize it. When do you ask another couple about playing? What would be some of the phrases we should listen for? Maybe we are missing something. I don't know what we are doing wrong unless it's just not acting fast enough, do the couples plan downstairs for what happens upstairs? It just happens over and over that we have people all around us, all having a great time, all dancing and then the evening is over and we are heading back to our room alone. My sweet husband has told me I can be intimidating because I do have a good body and am on the pretty side. I like to dress in lingerie and love having a place to wear all the great outfits that are frowned on in regular clubs, but they are always tasteful with a bit of slutty mixed in. Seems I've been lucky and have turned somewhat swanlike after years of being a plain old duckling. So here we are friendly, dancing, enjoying, laughing and yet always ending up alone. More and more of the regulars seem to be accepting us into the clicks. We get all hugs and kisses on the way in and out. Even the pretty people have welcomed us, you regular swingers know exactly what I mean by that. Any good insight out there? Any helpful hints ?
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I know in the end its all determined what makes me most comfortable since I'm the only female in this scenario, although I would like to hear other women's experiences in this to help me figure out how to go about this. We have thrown around a few scenarios however, can you realllly plan all the details and expect it to go that way? Isn't that less fun? Plan as you go, aside from boundaries being set upfront? Were very new to this, so we've not even done a MFM together yet, but I look forward to it! although at the same time I think I'll be nervous when the actual time comes.... I think I may want my man to start the whole thing off.... although I'm not sure about this. My rules in a MFM are: -only my man gets anal -no rough stuff from the other guy Women, for your 1st MFM did your man start off? Did the other male start off? What did you find worked best in this situation? thank you all in advance Dez
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We have been involved in the "club scene" for several months and have learned that it is the female of the couple that "closes the deal". We both find it very easy to introduce ourselves and chat with other couples but the only time we have actually played is when they ask us. I am not accustomed to to being the aggressor and asking someones else for sex. I am used to being persued and luckily we have met others that are better at this than we are so we have had encounters. However recently we have had the following happen: We are chatting with a nice couple for an hour or more and another couple will join in on the conversation. Suddenly we realize they are hooking up and we are left standing by ourselves. It finally dawned on me that it was because the other two ladies would go to the bar for a drink or off to the ladies room and cut a deal. Women have walked up to Mr. and said things like "you are not playing with me enough" or straight out grab his dick. I am not comfortable doing this. How do I learn this art of being the aggressor? -
So I was thinking tonight how do you all make the first move and how? Say you are out with another couple and you go back to some place to play how do things get started? does everyone just jump right to it and strip down? is there foreplay involved? i'm assuming it's different for first timers vs long timers.. so i'm really interested in knowing who makes the first move? is it the women or the men? how do you make the first move? just jump the person or make a more slow sly move?
