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Showing results for tags 'monogamy'.
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Hello all, Just an honest from the heart post. My wife and I have chatted about same room sex and she has said she would be happy to do that in the right situation but no more than that. She said she is aroused by swinging type situations and we role play a bit but said she wouldn't do it in reality. So my question or rather some clarity is this as I have no one else I can talk to about this in person. If I happen to be in a busy supermarket for example I would say 1 out of every 2 women between 21 - 50 I feel a sexual attraction to and would love to have sex with. Obviously that's impossible but that's how it is. My wife and I are pretty open about things and I have said this to her and she says that is not normal and something is wrong with me. What do others think? Sometimes I feel pretty alone and feel like what is wrong with me. I don't think I should have to feel this way and won't want to be around people who think anything sexual or any man who has sexual desire to another woman is dirt. Another topic or some thoughts on something else I would appreciate some thoughts on is this. I have had this my whole life and I am so sick and tired of being called derogatory terms or looked down on for being open about sexual things by men and women. For example the latest thing a very good looking woman wrote a tweet on twitter who's in my friend's twitter network and she referenced herself to being female by saying "Having a vagina....." I tweeted back in reply to he post and also said I am sure you have a beautiful vagina. Well the numerous comments back from men and women with derogatory terms such as "creep" and many other awful things. Why can being open about something like that cause someone to be verbally abused and slandered like some kind of creep etc. Why does anything to do with a body part or anything sexwise cause others to totally trash them and call them a creep, etc. Also even this, 3 days ago while out at a amusement park a good looking lady had a short skirt on and was on a ride and due to the position of the ride she was unable to cross her legs. I happened to notice and she happened to notice me notice. She looked very annoyed like I was some kind of creep and immediately put a jumper in between her legs. Same thing happened a couple of weeks ago when a woman with a low cut top of leaned over in front of me and she noticed that I noticed I could see a good view of her breasts in a bar that she got annoyed and put her hands over the top of her shirt to block the view. Not like I was leaning over with my tongue out or anything I just looked. Why does it seem like anyone who talks about anything sexwise, or looks at something a woman is revealing, i.e. like above, called a creep or made to feel like dirt? Of course there have been the odd times when this has happened and the lady has been flattered that obviously I found her attractive and if anything revealed a bit more. But for some women to go to the other extreme of calling you derogatory terms or giving you a very dirty looks, I just think why??? -
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I have always had an interest in the human definition, just who are we? What drives us? Who actually defines us? I know I was never asked....or given the questionnaire. As always it is those not living how others are or maintain power or try to be that desperately try to define all of us into a box. I’ve always been curious, always asking why because the bottles, jars and boxes we all get shoved into never hold true. My take away? Humans are: Curious Adventurous Emotional Highly social Desire acceptance Absolute need for contact, touch Emotional connection, attachment Happiness.... ....collectively we want to be happy. We want at the end of our efforts, happiness. So with that in mind why the imposed monogamy question? Maybe a better question is why the varying definitions to adapt to the wide variety of cultures, beliefs countries when in fact we were not made to be mono anything since the beginning of time without being taught, threatened and social outcasts for not taking part in the norm. Mate sharing, spouse sharing and combined expanded family arrangements have been around since before history. The last 2,000 years monogamy, authority of the one, singular, grew but always had the old ways nipping at its heals. In my readings I recently came across an interesting article, below: Why Monogamy Isn't The death of compulsory monogamy and viewing monogamy as only a social good Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CASA, CSE The Polyamorists Next Door https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201508/why-monogamy-isnt As most everyone in this group lives or wants to live a less than monogamous lifestyle you might find it an interesting read. -
I've had this on my mind for a while now, but is being poly, and even swinging in our nature? Society says that you are only allowed to love one person. If a woman is sitting in the park with her two boyfriends and her two girlfriends, and she is openly affectionate with all of them, people will look at her like she the biggest slut, when in fact she loves each of them. I know people look at swingers and must think, "Oh my God, have these people done everything sexually possible, and the only way for them to get off now is to have sex with other people," when in fact it's something that they both enjoy and have an agreement about. I don't think that there is anything wrong with monogamy, but I do think that we limit ourselves. Just like homosexuality is natural. Some of us are, and some of us aren't. Then isn't it also in our nature to be polyamorous? Some of us are and some of us aren't. I expressed this to a friend of mine, and she told me that I'm just a cheating dog and that she feels sorry for whoever I date.
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This is not a poll; just a question. Do you think that open marriage is more likely to work for a couple in mid-life (or even older)?
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Society has made some progress in how it views people that identify as bisexual. If someone is in a hetero relationship, and say they are actively bisexual, then logic dictates that there is some sort of non-monogamous something happening there. What is strange to me though is when you read of a celeb or someone in that situation, while the coming out as bi may be accepted and even praised for it's courage and honesty, no one on the receiving end of that information seems to want make that next step to holding the same feelings about the swinging, poly, or whatever situation is involved that is making the bi possible. Is consensual non-monogamy still a bridge too far for society so when it comes to someone in a relationship saying they are bisexual, people just avoid making that next logical step in their mind? Anyone found themselves in a similar situation?
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My SO and I recently started attending events at a local club in Portland. We love the energy of the place, "We" have a blast but don't engage in anything more than stroking or kissing with other people and are both happy with that boundary. How common is that? Are we being rude? She is beautiful and fun to watch so at least we give a little back... -
I have to say yes. same sex same partner does get boring...for me. Swinging etc. takes that away and makes me much happier and i appreciate the intimacy with my SO so much more
