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Showing results for tags 'motivations'.
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It is nice to get the chance to suck another man's cock but why? I just did this for my man and wow he loved it! Two friends came over and I did what he wanted to be the very the best I could be.
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I happened across this study today, and it had some very interesting outcomes. The whole study bears reading. To tease you into reading it; "When asked whether they’d ever had various types of multipartner fantasies, just 5% of men and 13% of women had never done so" I.e., 95% of men and 87% of women in the 4k+ member study reported having fantasized about multipartner sexual relations. Wow! I expected it to be above 50%, but not that high. More reading at: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/justin-lehmiller-science-of-fantasy
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Hello, Planning our first full swap, my husband and me are discussing a lot about it. He told me that he has no problems with jealousy when I have sex with another man. What makes me wonder a bit though is that he said it really arouses him to picture me with another man. It is ok for me that he has sex with another woman, but I am not aroused by this... Looking forward to your opinions! Karen -
Hello. Have a question...for those that had the only intention of just being a nudist, from going to a nude beach or nudist resort...with time did you switch in being open-minded because you were going to these nude settings? Maybe you switched because chatting with people in the pool at a naked resort, and thought maybe why not? Curious on your situations. Thanks.- 21 replies
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Hi Everyone, My wife and I don't swing, but I found this site and figured this would be a good place to talk about a concern of mine in my marriage. My wife and I have a decent sex life. Goes in spurts but we generally enjoy it when it happens. We're married 8 years, I’m 42, she’s 37. We are an attractive couple. This morning when we woke up, after talking about sex we had last night, she said that she was thinking of “spicing things up” a little bit. I asked her what she meant, and she said she was thinking about bringing another man into the bedroom, no emotional strings attached. Right away my chin dropped at the thought of it, as I have never done this before. She said not to freak out, she read that many couples do it under agreed terms, and it betters their sex lives. I am KIND OF up for it if it will make her happy. However, she wants it be someone we know who we can trust. She mentioned an ex boyfriend of hers who is a mutual friend of ours as a possibility. He’s now married too. Good guy, we see him around mutual friends. Now the GOOD with this is, we know the guy and he respects me with my wife. Their time has passed. What WORRIES me about it is, from what my wife has told me about him, they had VERY rough sex. Kinky, even degrading stuff. Even her friends have told me when we first started dating in a joking manner. QUESTION: Is she trying to relive what she had with this guy? Or is she really trying to better OUR sex life?
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Hi everyone. I've being posting few thread on this website and I've got very good and solid answers so far. It started when my wife and I talked about our fantasies and I discovered she had one since years before she even met me and never fulfilled it, never even talked to anyone about it : it's being a bad girl fucked by 2 to 5 guys at the same time. Her lover watching first 1 or few guys having her, the lover getting jealous and exited at the same time, until he can't stand it and has to participate and fucks her like a whore in some kind of punishing action. Then she is fucked like an object in all combination by me and everyone in the room or new guy(s) entering it. Very submissive fantasy. What real from the fantasy I don't know. But this thing as kept growing in my mind and imagination for years until becoming an obsession of finally seeing someone fucking her in front of me and with me. It became a huge turn on since we talked and she told me she would like to try it in real life, even if she is scared that in real life it does not work for her. she can't tell. But she masturbate a lot about this and when we watch a porn it's always the group sex that makes her come right away. We are not going to start with a gangbang as totally newbies we'll do a MMF and see if the fantasy and the reality are matching the excitement ? could it be that it only works in her mind, not in reality ? That's my BIG question today : I read a lot of things about cuckold and I don't feel at all attracted by any of that stuff. I'm a very attractive guy, always been very successful with women, had many and gave them a lot of pleasure, I never had any trouble in bed, I can last too and I've actually quite a big cock (almost to big for my wife). So why I want so much to see my wife fucked ?! Her fantasy drives me crazy I don't know what to do anymore... My wife is stunning (she is a model) she is for me the most beautiful woman I've ever seen (and probably she is) could it be the wish of living my nightmare 'all these guys trying to get her 20 times a day in the street, at work, anywhere she goes, as soon as I let her 1 minute alone' that becomes a huge turn on ? Help- 116 replies
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For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is).
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First post... and I want to ask a question. We've had a few experiences, and recently a MFM which was the most amazing time! Seeing her pleasured and cum on another guy's cock was a tremendous turn-on for both of us. He had a very nice and thick eight inch cock, which we both sucked for nearly two hours. Seeing her penetrated and tremble with excitement really got me going. Since she knew he was married, she has commented that doing married guys is her preference. I didn't have the guts to ask her why. Any ideas?
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Why do men want to watch their women with another?
Wornsilver posted a topic in Let's Talk About Sex
My guess is that this has been covered, and if it is redundant, let me know: why do I have a fantasy to watch my fantastic spouse have sex with another man? I understand that a lot of us hubbies want to be observers and participants, but aren't we supposed to be jealous and exclusive? I, for one, want to have my spouse be satisfied to the utmost, and that is the key. But wondering about others. Thanks. -
Hi everyone - we are a couple in our early 50's, not in the lifestyle - although I'd like to be. My wife and I have talked about various fantasies, and she is not necessarily turned off by the idea of swinging, but as of yet she is unwilling to go there. (And I am ok with that - I'm not pressuring her at all). She is, however, into flashing. Specifically when we travel, she'll do a strip tease in front of our hotel window, and we'll end up having sex in front of the window and talking about people that may be watching. This is VERY enjoyable for me, and I am not complaining at all, but I'm also confused about why she would be unwilling to go to a swing club and do the same thing, or even take the next step and have someone join us. To me it seems like a logical connection, but obviously I am missing something. To all those with experience - is flashing like that a "first step?" Like the gateway to something more? Or is it just her kink, and that's that. Just curious if anyone else has flashing experience that has led to something else. Thank you! -
Hi all, Thanks for reading this post. As this has almost caused, and still may result in my wife and I divorcing, I am hoping to find some good answers with you experts, from education and experience, here on the forum. Ever since we were engaged, I have been turned on by the idea of having another guy have sex with my fiancee/wife, mainly watching to two of them and even taking some pictures or video. As you probably know what's coming next, my wife has ranged from ambivalent to outright saying no to actually considering it while we were having sexual problems over the past ten plus years. We rarely have sex and this is mainly due to sexual trauma on my part. I thought it would be a great short or even long term solution to having her sexual needs met while I worked on my trauma in therapy. However, while the cause of my trauma has been greatly reduced and in many ways totally healed, I still have this desire to see my wife with another man, especially an aggressive assertive even DOM. Due to my sexual issues, I have a very hard, pun intended, time being on top and assertive with both my needs and in taking charge during sex, which is what my wife wants. We've tried years of therapy that has not solved the problem and actually left both of us frustrated on many levels from sex to just our daily lives as a married couple. I tried a few times to add another guy and let's just say the results have been less than successful, once resulting in a separation for several months. I'm really not sure where this desire to see my wife with another man comes from but it has nothing, so far as I can tell, from my personal sexual experiences or trauma from childhood and my therapists have also come to the same conclusion. The desire is so strong that I become erect almost instantly when thinking about my wife having sex with another man or reading some of the stories here about swinging wives. Whatever the reason, it's very strong and I would have no hesitation if she wanted to meet another guy tomorrow so long as it didn't affect our marriage or end our sex life, as pathetic as it is. Ideally, it would improve our sex life and for sure leave her sexually satisfied knowing that if I can't please her and bring her to orgasm, she has other options that are safe for her and not secretive. I do want her other lover to cum inside my wife while I watch or find out afterwards. Any and all advice, on and offline, is greatly appreciated. I sense at this point after many years of false starts and very very little sex, she is just about open to anything including divorce but if bringing in another man can prevent that for both our sake and our children, that would be ideal. Thanks so much. P.S. There's no real cuckold desire to this because I still want to have regular sex with my wife once I can engage in sexual intercourse regularly but would be fine with a long term lover or more if I can't ever heal from my sexual trauma so I can please my wife sexually on a regular basis. -
To precede this poll I have seen many if not most guys say that they want to watch their wife get fucked by a man. Many guys like to experience their wives getting "deflowered" after they have a stable relationship by being with them while they pleasure and are pleasured by a male. So here is the poll. -
Would you go to a nudist beach? Why would you go? So Mr G and I are 'beach babes'. We frequently spend our weekends with our children on a beautiful secluded, tucked away beach with miles of wild coast line. When ever we invite friends (vanilla) friends to join us they always say...that's a nudist beach!!! We have never seen 'the nudist' part, we've always been busy playing with our kids along the shore with the other beach-goers...I actually thought it was a myth... So last weekend I'm walking along with the shore with my brother-in-law, deep in conversation, when after about 20 minutes of walking we look up and realize that we have strayed from home, yes everyone around us is in the buff... Oops we say to ourselves with cheeky smiles and turn back to return to our family and friends about 1km back along the shore. When we return I say to my husband and friends...guess what we found? Mr G finds this amusing and says "really, let's go for another walk and check it out". So off me and Mr G go again...before we leave our family and friends we ask cheekily, does anyone want to come with us...to which one of our friends says "absolutely not, I don't want to go and look at people naked". I replied, "we're not going to look at people. People don't go to a nudist beach just to look at people naked. They go to feel free, liberated, and natural." Or do they? I personally think there's nothing sexier that laying around in the sun, teasing Mr G, naked, covered in oil, tanning my white triangles while He lays next to me getting really turned on but not being able to do a thing about it...- 29 replies
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Normally, we don't look at the Craigslist Ads; we've found them to be predatory and full of people looking for money. That said, we saw this one recently. It's not the usual, in that I don't think they're looking for play partners -- but Holy Cow! -- the sentiment totally resonated with us (well, me (the male-half), anyways). Almost (!) makes me wonder if I should rethink why we're always looking for new partners. Here it is: Anyone want to offer their thoughts? -
He says wanting a MFM threesome is because he would like to see me being fully pleasured and he gets off from seeing me being pleasured and excited. Is this normal? -
I'm always interested in what brought people to the lifestyle!
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This is a thread for bareback-only couples/males/females I don't mean those who differentiate between long-terms FB's and casual partners. I'm talking here about people who NEVER use condoms, whether with a FB, stranger or a gang-bang. Questions: 1/ How long have you been bareback-only? 2/ How did you come to this decision? 3/ Is the attraction of bareback to you physical (ie sensation) or psychological (ie do you view swinging as incomplete unless cum is exchanged) 4/ Do you find many that many swingers couples are bareback-only? (We find the real number is much higher than those who will openly admit it) 5/ Has it ever seriously limited your number of potential partners? 6/ For those who go to swingers parties/clubs (as Sarah and I do), have you ever been to any which are specifically bareback-only events/venues. I will answer my own questions fullly later, however, but just to start the topic off, Sarah and I have been in the swingers lifestyle for the past 14 years and Sarah's been 100% bareback-only the entire time. No condoms for us! NOTE: There is to be no judgemental moralising on this thread. I respect other's decisions to use condoms and your should respect my wife and I's decision not to do so.
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A post I read recently had me wondering how many people decide to try swinging in order to explore bisexual play. Was that true for you at all? -
Do people get into poly because they seek it, and find partners after making that decision, or are they playing and have affections emerge, then evolve into poly relationships? The latter seems more likely to me, but....? Discuss. -
What do you feel that some of the benefits of swinging are? How has swinging changed your relationship?
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Just wondering, here... In my wife's and my experience, we've noticed that most of the women in the lifestyle have at least been curious about having sex with other women, at least as much as, if not more curious about having sex with other men. Of course, the exact opposite holds true for the men in the lifestyle. I've only met one guy who's ever even considered having sex with another man. Without counting, I'd guess that of all the women we've encountered have gotten into swinging, about two thirds have indicated they've done so at least in part to try sex with another woman. So, how about it, Ladies? How many of you have gotten into swinging at least in part because of the urge to have sex with another woman? For my wife, she admits it was mostly curiosity about women. She's mostly into guys, though. Happily, that includes myself.
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Just had another conversation this weekend with my wife about my fantasy of seeing her fuck another man, and she was a little bothered that it may be because I want to prove she is desirable, and she felt a little insecure that I was not that into her looks or our sex life. I reassured her that that was absolutely not the case and that I just have a fetish/fantasy to watch her get fucked. I told her I think she is very attractive and our sex life is great and I am absolutely not bored with our sex life or her! I told her I like to watch her receive pleasure and I think it would be a huge turn on to see her getting pleasured from another person. I am a voyeur/exhibitionist I feel. I also told her I think it would be very hot to see how turned on she would get from another person and to watch her cum with another person. All of that having been said, in all honesty, I think there is an aspect of validation and knowing that other people wants something you have. What do you all think? Is that part of the reason you swing? Do you like to know someone else thinks your wife/partner is hot and wants to fuck them....so therefore it validates the way you feel about your partner. Is that a bad thing?- 28 replies
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Hi everyone, I have a theory for the ladies. Sooo my husband and I did our first full bi-swap. It was VERY erotic and hot. I realized something interesting though about women and bisexuality. My experience with the other wife was great! Often times I hear women say "women know women better." I have to say being with a woman as a woman did feel different but not in a physical way. I thought a lot about it and here is what I think. Girls are very mean to each other. I know why ladies but seriously I think we really hurt each others self-esteem a lot. I think this is why female bisexuality is so common. We want to be respected and feel support from other women. When I was with the other wife I felt like every cruel thing others girls had done to me was expunged. All I could do was give my body over to this woman for the appreciation it deserved. It was a rush of emotion (not the attached kind). When I was younger I was always criticized by other girls for mild acne, big feet, and my style. Although I've cut a lot of those people out of my life I feel I am still scarred by that. When the other wife and I played with each other it was just amazing to accepted by her in a sexually powerful way. I do of coarse prefer men way more but I feel this woman filled in something that had been missing. Even though this woman was an experienced bi-wife she didn't make me cum any harder than any guy I've been with. My husband of coarse takes the prize though! What do you all think?
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Ok, we are basically newbs as a couple, but I've swinged in the past, never mfm though. Lately I've been the one thinking of that fantasy. I've thought of her, if we get in a soft swing scenario with another couple, to focus on the other guy, etc.. I am kind of seeing how so many people, both male/female, love this... but not sure, as normally you would feel jealous in the street of someone screwing your wife. We are not at that level yet... So why do you enjoy it, mostly from the guys point of view I guess? tks
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So couple "A" (my wife and I) is sexually adventurous (from my/our point of view). We've been trying to invent new games, and things to do and ways to do them as some things get stale. We go back to older/stale things and they are quasi-new again when to current arsenal is "blah." We have kids and these stupid things called jobs that put a damper on timetables and locations. So we are pretty much limited to playing (as she calls it) in the evenings/nights and confined to our bedroom. From lingerie, high heels (that smack of "You know what I'm doing when I wear these." if they were ever worn in public.) Various sexual devices (toys etc from mundane to almost extreme.) I've even put together plans for a machine (just need the Department of Wife to allocate financing to build it.) No holds barred, if she/we/I want to try something it is at least attempted --- "Wow, they did that so easily in the instructional video... Who the hell can contort in that position!?" or "You want to put that where?!" We got into this discussion years ago during sex one night "Tell me your dirtiest fantasy." she comes back with something that was the epitome of NOT dirty and hardly a fantasy. So I retort "Yea, ok... I KNOW YOU... Don't forget I'm your husband and happen to know all the stuff you have done sexually in recent years, and you've told me about your youthful indiscretions. Reset, try again." She says "I want to have 5 guys all take turns and come all over and in me." Holy smokes, that's pretty dirty and fantastic. Before a platoon of guys reply and say "I'm well versed in this craft, PM me and it can be arranged." We're not interested. The sheer amount of labor involved to even begin to explore making her fantasy a reality is so diametrically opposite of reality (STDs, too many rules, background checks, douche bag testing done by myself etc..) In fantasy land is where that one stays. The point is, that revelation opened up a doorway to new stuff in the bedroom. We talked about all sorts of scenarios and what ifs. We thought about MFMs, MFFs and finally settled that the most "fair/logical" thing to do (IF WE WERE TO EVER DO IT) would be with a couple. That's not to say the other stuff is out of the question, but a "first experience" whenever that might happen (once again IF it happens) would be an ideal thing. Equal terms in the equation balance/null each other out. Let's assume all the following is 100% ship shape and is air tight: -Tremendous attention to detail as it relates to rules/boundaries between my wife and I [and the other couple] that are clearly understood and 100% agreed upon, fair and balanced. (whatever those are: No kissing, has to be in same room, must wear clown noses and big red shoes... all of that.) - Whatever expectations exist are at least reasonable. Civility, good manners and if things do get really exotic that everyone consents and doesn't "go along to get along". I think that finding a couple that is sexually compatible with my wife and I is going to be like finding a way to power cars with unicorn farts... (Really difficult to say the least.) BUT... I imagine if we were to seriously start looking that would be an adventure in itself... Going to these places some of you have mentioned in other posts would be really "wow"... to participate even if our participation is just between the two of us (others might be watching ) and just see what happens. Maybe my attempt to add a comedic element was off base, but that's me. Input welcome of course even if it is critical. Regards.
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