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Showing results for tags 'new swingers'.
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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have. -
I got to thinking about how we all did things early on that we look back and now and wonder "what were we thinking", "why did we do that" and it came down simply to we didn't know any better. For me/us it was jumping in too fast and driving 45 minutes to meet the first couple we found within 2 hours of us that was interested in meeting and then (despite the lack of connection) attempting to play with them. (We are good friends now and laugh about it, but that didn't happen till 2 years later). So what was your major faux paux? What do you look back at in your swinging life (even if it was only a month ago) that you cringe at?
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In another thread, someone was asking about what to wear to clubs. Mrs. Good Times post about her first experience going to a club and things not going perfectly. I thought that was so comical but even more, I thought, good for her! Telling a tale on herself. Ok...so this got me to thinking...those of us new or with less experience might think that everything always goes just perfectly for "seasoned" swingers, hence...sometimes making things far too complicated and just simply over-thinking things. I thought it would be great if some of you would share some of your funniest stories...sort of like the American Home Videos of Swinging. You know how you fall out of the chair laughing when the dog "noses" the guy as he's pulling in his fish and he falls off the bridge. Admit it. So how about sharing your stories...funny, embarrassing, or otherwise. It'll give us all something to laugh at and just maybe, when something happens to a newbie, they can look back and think, "Well, at least I didn't do THAT!!"
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Mods, if you can find a better forum for this thread, please do move it. I'm not sure where it fits. I had a brain wave. I've been reading posts by newcomers to the lifestyle and I remember us being there ourselves. It's overwhelming, scary and you feel like a fish out of water. You don't know what's appropriate, what's not, and you have no idea what you should expect. There's such a huge learning curve, and I know it's kind of part of the experience, but still... I have to wonder how many of those monster mistakes could be avoided if couples had some guidance. Do we really need to make the painful mistakes to learn? Or could we still learn without the damage? Why is there not something like a newbie boot camp? A one-week resort take-over dedicated to getting newbies started out right in the lifestyle? Workshops on such things as club or house party etiquette, how to host a house party, STD protection, "speed dating" for swingers (learning to communicate with your partner), how to read and write a great profile, communication workshops, getting-over-jealousy exercises, body image discussion groups, and maybe a discussion group where sensitive questions can be addressed anonymously (such as about penis size, having a medical condition, or a physical disability). And of course, lots of opportunity to socialize with other newbs and veterans alike. We learned a lot from a more experienced couple, but we actually had our first full-swap experience with another "virgin" couple like ourselves. And it worked out great! Looking back, though, it's easy to see how many ways it could've gone wrong. Now that we consider ourselves more along the "veteran" end of the spectrum, we know it's important to "give back", and not avoid new couples. We've all been there, and we sure appreciated the guidance. So what does everyone think? Does that sound like it would be a good idea, or would it be too intimidating?
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Here is the question , how many experienced swingers will consider meeting with a couple that is new to swinging ? I want to see if the responses here corrolate with our experince so far Marv & Sue -
Hello. Have a question...for those that had the only intention of just being a nudist, from going to a nude beach or nudist resort...with time did you switch in being open-minded because you were going to these nude settings? Maybe you switched because chatting with people in the pool at a naked resort, and thought maybe why not? Curious on your situations. Thanks.- 21 replies
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"Do you think we're swingers?" Jamie looked up, her mouth hovering just over Adam's wet and throbbing cock, and looked directly into Adam's blue eyes as she spoke. "What...?" Adam had been watching as Jamie was sucking his cock and was caught totally off-guard by Jamie's question out of the blue. "Damn, Babe. What in the world made you think of that at a time like this?" Jamie started to grin when she realized the situation. Just a short time before they'd gone to the bedroom for one of their afternoon fuck sessions. They'd both quickly showered and hopped into bed. After their usual cuddling, caressing, and kissing, Jamie had taken matters into her own hands and mouth. They'd been married for so long that these moments never needed that much vocabulary. Things always just proceeded naturally, with one or the other of them taking the lead... today had been Jamie's lead. "Well..." Jamie took Adam's hard cock back into her warm mouth and sucked softly while she organized her thoughts, "today at lunch Cassidy, just out of the blue, asked if I knew what swinging was?" "Really?" Adam's cock twitched involuntarily as he heard Jamie's statement. Adam liked Cassidy. Cassidy worked with Jamie, and for several years, Adam had admired her, not only for her pretty nice looks but also for her open attitude about everything. In just a few short seconds, Adam had placed Cassidy in so many combinations of sexual activities with him and Jamie that the fantasies could have been a long novel. Yes, Adam was a typical man. "Ok, Bud..." Jamie shook Adam's cock back and forth to bring him back to reality, "it's not what you're thinking, so come back to Earth." Jamie licked on Adam's cock a few times before continuing. "She only asked because she said that she and Steve had talked about it." "Steve..." Adam hadn't even considered Cassidy's husband Steve in his fantasies. "Who brought it up first? Steve or Cassidy?" "Believe it or not, Cassidy said that she did." "I'd believe that," Adam said without hesitation. "Hell, Steve's just lucky to even be with Cassidy..." Adam thought a second, then continued, "She could definitely do better than him, and he knows it." "Well, Cassidy doesn't think that way," Jamie said. "But she's definitely getting urges to explore a little after so many years of marriage." Jamie stopped briefly, then added, "And now that their son is gone to college..." "So, was she propositioning us?" Adam asked with mixed emotions. His first thoughts of them being with Cassidy were delightful, but it dulled when Steve was added to the equation. "I don't really think so, Honey. I think Cassidy just really wanted the opinion of a friend." Jamie spoke seriously. "And, I really don't think Cassidy has any idea about the things we've done." "Well, are you interested in letting her know and maybe seeing where things go?" Adam asked. "I don't know." Jamie looked a little serious. "I like Cassidy, and I know you do too. But, she's a friend. All the things we've done have been so spontaneous, and with strangers we've met... it's just different with someone who's been a friend." "I agree, sweetheart," Adam smiled at Jamie, "and besides, Steve's a real jerk." "Yeah," Jamie laughed a little, then added, "he can be a little uptight and pompous." "Hell, I can just see it now," Adam got into the idea of the story as he spoke. "We're all four together. We play strip poker, and when it's time for Steve to take off his underwear, he refuses because he's ashamed of his small penis. Then, when we get to the daring and you and Cassidy want to see me and Steve play with each other's cocks... well, he screams, gathers up his clothes, and runs out the door in only his underwear." Jamie was laughing at Adam's story, which started Adam laughing as well for a few minutes before he continued. "But, then now that he's gone, I've got you and Cassidy to myself... mmmm." "Ok, Bud," Jamie squeezed Adam's cock and looked at him with a mock scolding look, "I like Cassidy, but I'm not going to make love to a woman... even with her or for you." "Hey, I never said that was part of my story..." Adam thought a second, then grinned and continued, "although, not a bad mental picture here." Adam winked at Jamie, then added. "Don't you think I'm man enough for you and Cassidy?" "Ok, Man!" Jamie began to work her way from between Adam's legs to a position on top of him. She reached between them and inserted his hard cock into her very wet pussy. "I'm sure you are, but why should I share this when there's nothing in it for me?" "Oh wow, that feels so nice, Babe," Adam's face gave away his sheer pleasure at the feel of Jamie's wetness, "but don't you get even a little turned on watching me have sex? I love to watch you so much." "Sure," Jamie began to hunch up and down on Adam's cock as she spoke with a somewhat strained voice, "but only when you're doing something with another guy. I don't mind it when you're with another woman, but only if we're with another couple and sharing equally." "I guess I understand...," Adam moaned as Jamie dropped her hips hard and engulfed his entire seven-plus inches into her pussy. "And right now, I really don't care much about anything except this delicious woman on top of me." Adam reached up and grabbed Jamie's gorgeous full breasts with his hands and began to hunch up into her with earnest. "Oh, God..." Jamie cried as the flushed redness began to glow on her chest, "I'm cumming, Honey. I'm cumming..." Jamie ground her pussy down onto Adam's cock harder and leaned forward to allow Adam to take one of her nipples into his mouth. At his lips started to pull at her nipple, she repeated her mantra to herself, "I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming..." "Oh cum good Babe..." Adam encouraged into Jamie's ear as he pumped his hard cock harder into her flowing pussy, "Cum long and hard. Imagine a tongue starting to go into you, Babe." Adam had reached around them and inserted his finger alongside his cock into her full pussy, getting it wet. "Imagine someone behind us... licking us," Adam trailed his finger down the crack of Jamie's full ass. "Imagine Cassidy down there, or..." and as Adam paused his wet finger questionably on Jamie's tight rosebud, "imagine Ricardo behind us." "Mmmm," Jamie muttered, dropping her hips again to get every bit of Adam's cock while simultaneously moving them backward, causing Adam's slippery finger to penetrate deeply into her rectum. Ricardo was an old friend and still a favorite fantasy. "Yes, fuck me, Adam... finger my ass... fuck me hard... let me feel you and Ricardo fucking me..." Both Adam and Jamie began to hunch in unison. It only took a few more wonderful moments before they both lay motionless together. "So, you hungry?" Adam grinned as he blurted this out. "Men!" Jamie climbed off of Adam, pleasingly conscious of how both her pussy and ass were still slightly gaped open from the fucking, then continued to scold him. "Boy, once you've had your way, you just want to either eat or sleep!" "Hey, eating sounds good, Babe." Adam quickly turned around in the bed to try to gain access to Jamie's pussy. "Hold on, buster." Jamie pushed Adam away playfully. "Seriously, not now." "Ok, but don't say I just did the old wham-bam thing. I'm not only willing, but I'm also ready." Jamie lay quietly for a few seconds, then repeated her earlier question. "So, are we swingers?" "I don't know," Adam thought for several minutes, and just when Jamie suspected he'd fallen asleep and turned to look, "I guess, first of all, you need to define swinger. I think swingers are people who feel that a couple can maintain an emotionally monogamous relationship while still exploring sexual situations that include other people. In that respect, yeah, I guess we'd fit. But, I think most swingers think of this as a sort of lifestyle, and in that case, no, I don't think we do. For me, at least, it's more of an enjoyable diversion to our excellent long-term relationship." "Yes, me too." Jamie was quick to agree. "So, we're just an adventurous couple then, not really swingers." "I think so," Adam then added, "but I'm sure a lot of folks would think we are swingers. But then, who really cares?" Jamie laughed and agreed. "What do you think I should do about Cassidy?" "Well, as nice as it sounds to be with her...," Adam thought with his head instead of his cock, "It's just not going to work. We don't like her husband, and not only that, I just don't think what we do of this nature should be part of our local community and acquaintances. Although it would be nice to know a couple that we could get together with and discuss these things openly." "I agree about Cassidy. Besides, I'd really feel uncomfortable with it as well as I know her." Jamie thought a second. "And Steve... no way, Jose!" "Hey, I've got it!" Adam smiled. "Let's tell Cassidy to ditch Steve, and we'll see if we can locate Ricardo and introduce them." "Works for me!" Jamie's eyes lit up at the notion. "But, to make it even more perfect..." Adam always had to go a step further with any new fantasy or idea, "let's make sure that Ricardo is ok with a little boy to boy playing." "Hey, I don't think he'd object," Jamie thought back to that night a long time ago, "he seemed to be pretty open to anything that makes someone feel good." Jamie's eyes suddenly went somewhere far away. "Honey... are you still there?" Adam was now between Jamie's legs where he'd started to go before. "Now, I'm going to have you again after Ricardo," Adam spoke softly as he licked Jamie's swollen clitoris. "I can see his cum in your pussy Babe..." Adam continued to lick up and down Jamie's wet slit as he spoke, "you look so good, Babe." "Oh... oh yes..." Jamie was squeezing her own large and firm nipples, "yes. Suck Ricardo's cum along with mine, Honey." Adam licked and sucked, savoring the taste and erotic nature of his activity. He imagined that Ricardo had, indeed, just been with Jamie, and it turned him on tremendously. When Jamie's pussy was squeaky clean, Adam moved down to her anus and began to tongue fuck her there. It wasn't long before Jamie was once again cumming. "Oh... Adam... yes, yes..." Jamie held Adam's head with her hands now and directed him back to her pussy and clitoris, "Oh, I'm there..." Jamie groaned, then pulled Adam's face away from her sensitive pussy. "Thanks, sweetheart." Jamie bent down and kissed Adam's lips, getting a little taste of their combined juices. "Mmmm, do I taste Ricardo?" Adam laughed, then quickly added. "Hey, you also got a bit of Cassidy's flavor there too. So, you ready to go down on her?" "You're impossible!" Jamie jokingly scolded her husband as she got out of bed. "Hey," Adam tried to look innocent, "didn't mean to make you mad." As Jamie put on her robe and left the bedroom, Adam watched and admired his beautiful wife of so many years... then drifted off to sleep. "Are you asleep?" Jamie whispered into Adam's ear. "Not now, sweetie," Adam opened his eyes and smiled, "what-cha got in mind?" "We've got mail!" Jamie mimicked the voice of the computer. "Really?" Adam looked puzzled at Jamie. "Read it," Jamie took Adam's hand and pulled him up out of bed. "Ok... sure..." Adam grabbed his shorts and slipped them. "Who's it from?" Then thinking a second, he added, "Ricardo?" "No, but maybe better," Jamie teased. "Wow!" Adam was amazed and really curious now. "What could be better for you than Ricardo?" Jamie handed Adam her phone, and as he read, he was puzzled. "Ok, this is a couple responding about our stories..." Adam muttered. "Keep reading," Jamie confidently directed. "Typical... typical..." Adam said as he read the usual things they enjoy occasionally getting from people who enjoy their writing. "So, Jamie, is this a couple you think you'd like to meet?" Adam was curious. They'd met Greg and Susan this way and enjoyed them. But, when Greg and Susan wound up separating, Adam and Jamie had decided not to encourage actually meeting anyone they meet online. "We already have," Jamie spoke matter-of-factly. Adam finished the letter then saw the signature. "Will and Stacey? What do you think? Is it our Will and Stacey?" Jamie hugged Adam's neck and pressed her plump breasts against his back as she read over his shoulder, "Yes, it's them. And, they don't have any idea it's really us yet." Adam and Jamie had known this couple of years ago. Adam and Will had worked together. Jamie liked Will as soon as she'd met him and also became good friends with Stacey. One night, after a party, things just progressed to where the two couples shared intimacies. It was a one-time event, and being young and neither couple married that long, it never happened again, and the friends just sort of went separate ways. Will and Stacey had children, which often resulted in Adam and Jamie losing things in common with friends over the years. But, during the last few years, this couple had come to mind numerous times when Adam and Jamie fantasized. Next to Ricardo, possibly the most often. "So, do we tell them?" Adam wasn't entirely sure of Jamie's intentions but knew he'd like to see them both. "I already did." Jamie took her phone and switched the screen to the mail waiting to be sent for Adam to read. "Hey, aren't you going to read it first?" Jamie spoke too late as Adam had already clicked Send. "Don't need to, Babe." Adam turned the chair around and grabbed Jamie, and hugged her. "If you're interested... I'm interested." "Well, at least read the letter and see if you want to add anything." "Ok," Adam was now fondling Jamie's nice full ass through her robe, "but not just now." "You're impossible, Adam." Jamie pressed her groin more firmly against Adam's muscular chest as she spoke. "But awfully good." "So Babe," Adam was rubbing his face across Jamie's breasts, "When do we head out west to see them?" "As soon as possible... as soon as possible," Jamie moaned in delight at the feel of Adam's hands and mouth. And then, with a wink, "Unless they take me up on the invitation to visit us here."
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My wife and I are just starting into this. We might be overthinking every step before we make it, but I'd rather do that than not think something through enough. Plus the conversations that come from it feel like they're doing good things for our relationship, and I KNOW they're doing great things for our sex life! In my reading, it seems like there are concerns from some more experienced swingers about playing with an inexperienced couple like us. I can't worry about someone else's hang-ups, but don't want people put off simply because we're newbies. The concerns I've seen brought up include couples only being curious but not actually sure they're truly interested, or flaking out, up to one partner being apparently uninterested in the lifestyle. Sure, we're new, we're a little nervous (the wife prefers to say anxious), and will want to start a little slowly with our first partners, but we are definitely in. So, the question then is: is there something you look for in a profile, or when meeting a couple, that would give a green flag, even though the couple are very new?
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Hi from Colombia again! After many conversations (for years) with Mrs. Lucasex and a failed attempt of a MFM with a friend (who finally said no), we took the courage to contact a couple through a swingers website. We met a couple about three weeks ago, but there was no chemistry, although we had a nice time drinking cocktails. A second couple followed and this was much better, so much that Mrs. Lucasex wanted us to meet them again a couple of days after, with the clear intention of going further (maybe a hotel room). Unfortunately, we had to leave early, so it only went as far as a couple of beers, but it was clear that we had finally gotten the courage to take the next step. The other couple has some experience (a couple of full swaps and two MFMs), but they have been very patient and don’t consider themselves to be so far ahead of us. As a matter of fact, they said that they had never had such a good time just having drinks with another couple before. The male of the other couple works about a 4-hour drive away from our city, and he gets to come home every month or so, so we are planning to meet in an intermediate town a Saturday night (probably in ten days); the female lives in our same city, and the three of us would drive to meet her husband. We plan to go dancing, have some drinks and then go somewhere else. Our concern is: how do you break the ice? I mean, after we have had some drinks and danced, one of us will have to pop the question of going somewhere else. And this is when nerves take control… once we get to the hotel room, what should we do? How do we start? I have read about it here some forums, but considering this is our first time and they have some more experience (even though they don’t presume of it), we are terrified of things going wrong… should we let them make the first move? Or should we go for it? (we don’t know how is it going to feel). We are confident that we want to jump in the water with them, we trust them and they are not rushing us, but when the time comes… what? Sorry again if I made any mistakes with my English (Spanish is my first language) and for asking so many questions at once. We really want to do this, but naturally fear the decisive moment. We don’t want to disappoint them either, although they have assured us that they will go at our pace (which is good, isn’t it?). Thanks in advance for all your advice! Mr. Lucasex -
My fiance and I have are new (our very first time) to the lifestyle. We have our first date with a couple that have lots of experience. We are going directly to the couples home and we are very aware that something will happen. I am wondering just what to expect? I am not a shy person but I know that I am going to feel withdrawn and somewhat up tight.........I will need to have a drink or 2or 3 to relax. Can anyone give me any idea of what we may expect?- 7 replies
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Ok. So we are very new to this LS, only a couple of months. After chatting, texting, emailing etc. we are to meet another couple tomorrow night. We have meet in public before and had drinks and hit it off. We both have a nervous excitement about the whole experience. Hubby and I even had a long chat about it yesterday to make sure we are on the same page. The thing is for me that I'm not sure the other male is. Call me paranoid but I'm getting mixed signals. We have been texting/sexting non-stop since before our meet but in the last couple of days have heard VERY little from him? We are to meet at their home tomorrow night. Even last night he said we should just take our time, no rush. I'm nervous that he will not be interested in me I guess. I have put on weight (trying to lose it is not that easy) and he is a very attractive man who takes good care of himself. I guess I just don't want to get hurt. I do plan on going and being myself. Anyway that's my rant. Any advice for us is more than welcome!
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My wife and I have been discussing the prospect of having an open marriage for about a year now, and we feel we'd really like to start diving in and exploring some of our fantasies. We've got our boundaries set up; condoms, no sex at home, always come home at night, open communication, and of course full veto power for both of us. My wife wants to explore her bisexual side, and I'm always looking for new sexual experiences. I'm not sure if these forums are the best place to ask questions, since we are not currently looking for couple swapping at the moment though we have talked about it maybe looking into it in the future. We are looking to start with a MFF threesome, since it seemed after reading some of these forums it seemed that the best way to start would be something we shared as a couple. One of the biggest hurdles we currently face though is we are both extreme introverts. We are open enough with each other that it's difficult to put on the masks that you have to use to deal with other people. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this particular problem? Thank you for reading this and thanks in advance for any advice offered.
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She wants to swing with thuggish ex lover
intersocial posted a topic in Finding People to Swing With
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 yrs now (moved in year 1). After months of discussion we both feel open-minded (and freaky) enough to give the lifestyle a go. Yesterday we had a good long talk, airing out secrets we kept from each other in regards to cheating early on in our relationship. Mine was more of a rehashing of my extensive rap-sheet, but she revealed that she did sleep with her ex-lover around yr 3 after we moved in agreement to start anew. It was an isolated incident for which she was ashamed, however I have little room to be upset in light of my long list of transgressions. We are now in a happy healthy relationship. After mild hesitation she agrees that she too would enjoy the passion of bringing more fun into the bedroom. She then suggests that she could get in contact with her ex-lover as he would be her ideal candidate given her social inhibitions (shy). She says that they had limits to their past relations (i.e. no kissing, cuddling, etc). As much as I want to find issues with this, I am equally intrigued (I've always had a thing for the dangerous and uncertain). This guy is a bit of a thug and do not know how that will fare with my ego (I am very domineering in bed). I am a first time poster and would like any advice or similar stories in relation to my current dilemma. -
This may sound odd....but proud of gf for swinging
KMCouple posted a topic in Adventures in Swinging
Hey all, So, my gf and I have been together almost a year, and during that time we have had 3 MFM encounters (one before we were 'official', one that lasted a few months with same guy, and one random vacation hookup). No issues/hang ups/problems with any of them, at least as far as she and I are concerned. However, she has always been very hesitant on the subject of another girl involved. It's not that she doesn't like the idea. It's her past. A few years ago, she was engaged to someone else. Her fiance was cheating on her with her best friend. It even was so bad as that her friend would ask my gf to babysit her child, and while she was, she would be hanging out/dating/sleeping with the fiance. Since she found out, she has had a lot of distrust for females in general. She has sometimes felt a little bad that things couldn't be 'equal' with us. However the one time she said she "owed me" time with a girl, I shut that down hard. No one "owes" in the swinging world. By pure chance, a couple we know through vanilla means, though they are not vanilla at all themselves, started to show interesting in maybe adding playtime to our usual vanilla activities. All four of us knew that my gf was the most reserved, so through a few conversations/text messages, we all knew it would be up to her if anything happened. So the other day, we had all gone to the new Xmen movie (go see it btw it's good) and were sitting around playing board games (yes we are geeks), when my gf reminded the wife of the couple that she had made a boast about how good her blowjob skills were a few weeks prior. A few minutes of conversation later, my gf had challenged the other girl to a blowjob contest. Us guys, not being idiots, did not disagree. So we did a light swap, bj's only, some touching, and it worked out. All had fun, we all actually made dinner and played another board game after. Next day, lots of texts sent checking to make sure everyone was good all around. It seems so, and we have plans to see them next week. Plan is just to hang, if play happens it happens. So it may sound weird, but I am proud of my gf for being willing to fight her fears, and not project her (justifiable) anger and hurt onto other people. It may come across that she was 'pushed' into this, but the whole point of the tread was she wasn't. She was fighting her own past demons. Swinging situations or not, it can be hard to trust again after one has been hurt/lied to/used. That's what I am proud of. -
Newbies: Who would you rather play with?
JustAskJulie posted a topic in Polls & Never-Ending Threads
There's another thread asking experienced swingers the reasons why they may not want to swing with newbies, the thoughts there led me to this question. As a newbie looking for your first experience, who are you looking for? Would you rather play with another first timer? Someone with a little experience? Or a couple who is very experienced? And why would you prefer one over the other? -
If you could pick one important piece of advice that you wish YOU had known when you were a beginner, what would it be? also What is one rule that nobody ever really talks about but everyone figures out eventually (for example, men don't advertise bisexuality in swinger's clubs because they will get shunned)? LittleL
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I am just curious if anyone else feels the same way as me.... Some background info on our relationship, quick and dirty: I am in a serious relationship, very happy, with my new Fiance who I have been with for over 4 years. We are both very much in love and love our sex life. We have never swung or even had sex in front of other people. I have tended to be more on the jealous side and she is more open and not the jealous type at all...she is bi-sexual (I am straight)...her last serious relationship was 4 years long with a girl. Here is my question....my Fiance just went on a business trip for a few days and we both missed each other very much. The first reaction for me was that I didn't want her going out and having drinks at bars or anything, especially by herself....but once she got out there I was totally getting turned on by the idea of her getting drunk and going out to the hotel bar and other bars and flirting/getting hit on by other guys, hopefully what she would consider cute, or hot guys! I was totally encouraging her to go out by herself and get buzzed and have a good time and I was asking her if she was checking any hot guys out...she would say she wasn't. Does anyone else get turned on by this? Letting their wife/girlfriend go out and get hit on and possibly flirt back with other guys? Ever since she told me about going out and getting buzzed/drunk a little bit and telling me about guys that were coming up to her it really turned me on! And now I can't wait for her to get back and tell me more details and fuck her!!! Any thoughts on this? Anybody else share this feeling or tried this with your wife/girlfriend?- 19 replies
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We have read a few posts on this site about getting comfortable with others by easing into things slowly. Perhaps by playing naked games such as strip poker or truth or dare. We think this would be a good way for us as newbies to get comfortable with being naked around others in a sexually charged atmosphere. Perhaps the games could progress over a series of dates from just being naked to touching (erotic massage) to soft swap and hopefully all the way up to full swap. This way it might alleviate a good portion of the jealousy and nervousness that might accompany a first time straight on full swap. Our question is this. It seems to us this would be a good way to start, but just how many seasoned swingers would actually be interested in answering an ad from a newbie couple that stated this is how they wanted to proceed? Would the more experienced swingers just pass this type of profile by? Also, how would relatively new swingers, with just a few experiences under their belts respond (if at all) to a profile like this.
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For some reason we have had a rash of newbies contacting us and wanting to meet over the last couple weeks. I posted a few days ago about one of the couples and now two more have made legitimate offers and in chatting quite a bit with them, everything seems to be on the up-and-up. We have not been newbie hunters in the past and most of the people we have gotten involved with have been more-less equal to or greater in experience than us. When it comes to newbies we are pretty, well...newbies. The recent ones appear to be very attractive and very similar in background and preferences as us and we are sincerely interested but we don't want blow it by freaking them out nor do we want to go so slow that they lose interest and move on without an honest attempt. So I guess what I am looking for is some down to earth advice and insight on going out with newbs. I don't know if I even have any specific questions, we are just looking for some pointers and words of wisdom on how to deal with complete newbs and how to put them at ease enough that they aren't running for the hills but at the same time give things a chance to happen so that we don't waste what little time we have playing nurse-maid to wannabes that may never develop (I hope that made sense). I guess what I am saying is we want to make some friends and playmates as opposed to finding some students that we want to mentor. If you are a newbie yourself, how would you like to be treated so that you don't freak out or get turned off/scared away? What would put you at ease so that you are comfortable in exploring your interests with a couple that has had some experience and are a bit more self aware? And if you are an experienced swinger that has a background in dealing with newbs, what advice and wisdom would you offer? We are open to any ideas and advice. -
An introduction I read and some of the responses to it got me to thinking... at what point do you stop being a newbie? Is it when you've had your first experience? Is it after you've had many experiences? After you've been swinging for several years? After you join your first swing club? Or after you've been regularly attending parties for a certain length of time? If you consider yourself a newbie, tell us at what point you will no longer feel that you are newbies? If you don't consider yourselves newbies, at what point did you stop considering yourselves such?
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A thought on newbies, and first time club outings...
Guest posted a topic in Swinger Clubs, Parties, Resorts, and Cruises
So, once again, I was thinking (yes, I know, that explains the smell of burning around here... ) Namely, about what might be an easier first time outing to a club, for newbies. Obviously, there are several things that come into play in such a thing, but in general, here's what I thought... If the newbies are ready and willing to swap (soft or full,) then it doesn't really matter, off or on-premise. If, however, the newbies are not ready for any swap (myself and the wife,) then an on-premise might actually be a better choice. Here's my reasoning, see what you think. Going to an off-premise club, you've got a few things that would make the newbies potentially more nervous, as well as potentially opening them up for a somewhat more negative experience. First, if it's in a bar, unless it's a take over / closed door event, they have to be possibly concerned about someone they know wandering in. Second, as in order to play, you need to go to a hotel (either if it's attached to the bar in question, or at least nearby,) the newbs either need to spring for a hotel room, or hope someone would be willing to bring them along to watch / play separately (unlikely, I would expect) Now, quite likely, they'd meet people (we're presuming the newbies are at least outgoing enough to introduce themselves to others,) but once people start getting down to hooking up, the newbies would begin to find themselves excluded. Again, I can understand why the swappers would do this, they're interested in getting laid by someone other than their spouse, and the newbies in question won't help with that. Now, take those same newbies, and send them to an on-premise. It's much less likely they'd be concerned about someone they know wandering in, after all, if someone they know is there, it's pretty obvious why. As for the play, if the newbies feel up to it, they can wander around the play areas, just watching, or enjoy themselves in the play area. They'll still meet people, but I would think they'd be less likely to get excluded from conversations later, after all, the swingers there likely already have people they can hook up with, or have already played some, and are relaxing between rounds, and might be willing to put the newbies at ease. Cost wise, I would think it would be a wash between the options (presuming the newbies check in at the hotel), figure $60 for a hotel room + $20-30 for the event. On-premise, figure $75-100 for an event. Obviously, depending on the crowd at either on or off-premise, the newbies could end up with a markedly different experience than posited above. They could go to the off-premise, meet a group that is perfectly willing to take the newbies along back to the hotel (imagine the desk clerks face when 6+ people go by heading for one room!) and let them watch, and not mind the newbies playing off to the side. They could go to an on-premise, and have the misfortune of running into a bunch of cliques that feel that if you aren't willing to swap, they're going to brush you off / ignore you the rest of the night. Just some thoughts... Jason -
I'm curious to see what everyone's initial experiences were in this respect. Perhaps this has been polled already, but I'll try it again. So did you start out slowly and gradually with much talk, or did you just decide one night, on a lark, to hit a club and the rest was history? -
Just a thought that crossed my mind (boy for someone who has yet to even poke at the cherry I've got tons of questions) tonight. How do you feel about a newb couple, who won't swap? Not even soft swap. How would you feel, if you went to your favorite on-premise club, saw a couple obviously nervous, got to chatting, think the chemistry is there, but they tell you (before heading to the play area) that they're not willing to even soft swap. They'll do same room sex, and incidental contact won't (they think) freak them out, but that's as far as they'll go. Would you still consider going to play with them? Or do you not consider this "playing" and decline? Or, do you see the "deer in the headlights" looks, and stay clear of them, thus avoiding the situation entirely? Mind you, in my hypothetical situation above, they're up-front with you, when the conversation starts heading towards "let's play." Just as obviously, if you're not into the "voyeur / exhibitionist" of same room sex, I'd presume you'd gracefully decline, telling them "that's not something we're into." I'm asking, as (I hope) the Mrs and I will be that newb couple soon. Now, to be honest, I'm expecting little more than her and I will have a good time, maybe dance (although neither of us are dancers), have conversations with people at the club, maybe use the hot tub (outdoors, in Windsor, in February, with it expected to be below freezing...), but that's about it. But, I'd be curious to know how people who've "been there, done that, and more" feel about "nervous newbs." Thanks, Mr.
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We are pretty new to this. Investigated 2-3 years and taken a few "baby steps" until we met and played with an awesome couple 4 months ago. We have a Swing Lifestyle account and have been in contact (online) with several couples but for varied reasons (not into same things, timing, family commitments, pushy, or fake) most passed along uneventfully. We chatted with a couple a few months ago and thought they were nice and hot but the wife got a vibe that the female was a bit of a primadonna and would always insist on being the center of attention. So no real thanks but no thanks but no commitment to meet, talked a little more but eventually faded into the background as so many do. We made plans to meet a couple and lined up the sitter. They call and their sitter had cancelled and they couldn't get a replacement so they had to cancel. Things happen. We decided since we had made plans we would go to a club instead. Took a look on Swing Lifestyle to see if there were any parties closer to home (the club was about 90 minutes away) and saw the couple we had talked to a few months ago had the tag line that they were going to be there on this night. We decided that we would say hi if we saw them. Still a little unsure if they were really potential playmates. So we saw them and said hello and they sat down with us to have a drink. We talked a little about ourselves, what we have done, and so on. 30-45 minutes later they ask if we wanted to go to the back. Mrs Shy said ok. Porn is playing and we are making out with our own partners and slowly undressing and touching. I keep checking in with Mrs Shy to see if she is ok or has any objections and she is fine. We are all getting a little hot and bothered and next thing you know,we notice her pulling up her dress and she says "I think we are going to go. You seem too into eachother." We looked at eachother a little confused and she goes on to tell us that they ususlly switch off right away and should have told us first. We looked like we were having too much fun on our own. We talked for about a minute as they dressed and said nice to meet you and left. That really took the wind out of our sails for the night so we got dressed and drove home. We talked about it ad Mrs Shy said I told you so. She wants to be the center of attention. I guess what still leaves me shaking my head is if things aren't progressing as you expect or want, dont you make a move to escalate things? If a boundary is crossed, we have no problem saying no. We don't want to be uncomfortable nor do we want our playmates to feel that way. Its bout fun and exploring,right? So today we went on Swing Lifestyle and took a look at their profile and noticed that they had made a few edits. They no longer will meet newbies because they have had too many bad experiences with them. They go into a mini-rant about newbies not being ready, not knowing what they want, and being too afraid to be with someone else. Dont get me wrong, we are done with them and want no further contact.But we cant help feeling attacked. We know what we want and we know our comfort zone. If there is any fault here, it is Mrs Shy for not going with her gut and both couples probably could have had a little communication. We had a great evening up until the last 15 minutes or so. I think at this point we can only chalk it up as a learning experience. Any other thoughts from you guys?
