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Showing results for tags 'not interested'.
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This has happened to us more than once. You meet a couple and things are moving forwards, until all of sudden one of the 'other' party gets cold feet, is not into it, etc. What I have done in the past is call the whole thing off and, frankly, fuck the wife, ALWAYS a good time there!! However, I got to thinking, well wtf maybe I should just enjoy the threesome!! What do others who have had the same or similar experience do? -
A little background on us if you don't mind. We've been together for about 14 years and both previously married. I'm 47 and she's 51. Our sex life out the gate was just amazing. I've never been with anyone like her or since her. We've played with straight mfm threesomes in the past, some very good in my opinion others not so much. Guess my issue is that I'd still like to play occasionally but the wife gets upset if I suggest it and it usually turns into an argument therefore I've let it be for the most part but not the only one that brings it up if even in a roundabout way.. I understand that we've both got health issues that keep us from being all acrobatic and such lol. Even though I don't bring it up there's times she does but not in a yea let's do it sorta way, more along the lines of just past enough tequila when It used to happen to now why isn't she enough? Not trying to be a complete asshole but I enjoy sharing her and she's very good when she gets into it. Just wondering how to calm down my inclinations or play with out hurting her?
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We always politely say no when a couple we aren't interested in messages us. A lot of our messages go unanswered. What is the general opinion...don't respond or nicely say no thank you?
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- responding to ads
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I know most couples would say that they will never take one for the team, but in reality there is almost always one half that is more attracted to the other couple then the other half. That’s not to say they are disgusted by the other person, just not as excited. As an older couple, we stay in very good shape. Finding a couple that we are both attracted to is not easy. Seems we find many women that are attractive but their husbands look like they haven’t exercised since high school gym class. I would never expect my wife to take one for the team just so I could have fun with the other woman. But what about when one thinks the other is ok, not great, but ok, would you then partake knowing your other half is very interested. My wife can have fun with anyone as long as he takes care of her and she likes women as well. its so much better when there is a strong physical attraction. I would think many couples find themselves in this situation quite a bit. How do you guys handle it?
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Have you "taken one for the team"? If so, especially for females, how do you get aroused or get convincingly into it? Perhaps I am selfish, but seeing my partner having fun/excited isn't enough to get the juices flowing in this situation... if you will.
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I was browsing profiles the other day and came across this. If you the guy are wondering how to make your wife bi here's your answer... The same way she gets you to suck a dick. So if you are forcing your wife to be bi think about this a little and put yourself in her shoes. We met a couple at a party where the guy was specifically looking for a woman to "flip" his wife/girlfriend to the bi side and was asking what it took. I wish I had that line at the time.
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Just a question regarding couples that contact you on sites like AFF, if you are not interested in the couple, do you have a polite way of saying no? Yes, a lot I ignore, but if it's a couple that you see locally... Nice people, but I not interested in the female. I don't really want to say why... now we are polite people.. good old country folks. Just wonder if anyone had any ideas... sorry, if this is a stupid question.
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Today the Mrs. went to a swinger site and clicked on a profile of a couple we had met at a party and BAM! PROFILE BLOCKED! We met this couple at a house party and while there wasn't crazy chemistry, it seemed like everyone was friendly. I think the Mrs. of the couple gave my wife her phone number. The only other contact we had with them was a month ago when they had a "hot booty call date" up and we messaged them saying we wish we could take them up on it. Our guess is that's when they decided to block us. What's funny is there are often debates on the forums about what you do when you get a message from a couple you aren't interested in. Usually the two big options are: 1) Do you ignore them and hope they get the hint, or 2) Do you politely tell them you're not interested. I didn't know "blocking their account" would be another option. I can imagine blocking a couple that keeps harassing you and won't stop messaging you, but I think we only messaged them once. This has only happened once before, about a year ago with a crazy couple that we politely told we just didn't feel chemistry... they got super offended and blocked us. At least with that one we wrote it off to craziness... this situation is a bit more odd. Do any of you block couples profiles for people with whom you're not interested?
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OK, this is not as much for seeking advice (although I'm sure I'll get plenty!) as to commiserate with other husbands whose vanilla-minded wives simply will not even entertain the notion of swinging or anything beyond the realm of monogamous sex. I know very well that swinging must be totally mutual between both spouses for it to be a positive experience. My motivation here is to enhance our fairly decent sex life. We're 52 and 50, married almost 28 years, two kids, our own business, and a great relationship. She's rather conservative, very modest. I've always had a much greater sex drive than her and a need for more "out there" sex. I have indeed cheated on her our entire lives together, having many affairs, one-night stands, liaisons on business trips, even bisexual experiences. I've enjoyed it all, and have been immensely careful not to leave any clues or slip up, and she has no idea about my "other" life. I truly love my wife dearly. She is still very sensuous and attractive, and I've taught her a few new things over the years, like enjoying the use of toys, and how to squirt. Truth is, I do not have any guilt regarding my infidelity, but I'm tired of it. Too much effort and time wasted setting up secret rendezvous, etc. I want to experience the pleasures of non-monogamous sex WITH my lady by my side; I want to share it with her and not have to deceive her anymore. I pondered it for months, studied the lifestyle, did voluminous research on the topic. I finally dropped the bomb on her on (of all days, you idiot!) Mother's Day! She exploded. No, she imploded. Whatever, it was the most shocking, terrifying thing to ever happen to her in our relationship - she thought the dream was over. She was so scared, hurt, confused, repulsed. I finally had to backpedal and try to talk to her rationally and we went to marriage counseling only two days later (at MY behest, not hers!). I needed to be able to talk to her via the third party there. I needed to ease her pain. Anyway, things went well there, and we opened a new line of communication. She never suspected I was so...sexual..so kinky. This man she'd known almost all her life was different now in a way, and it still leaves her a bit muddled and confused. She tried to learn what the attraction is. She even looked online at various swinger's sites, the Freedom Acres site, etc. She wanted to know what her man was interested in doing. She couldn't agree with any of the positives all you folks were preaching. She did suggest she might go to a club just for me, to "get it out of my system" , but she'll sit in the bar and interact with no one...maybe go back to the car if it's too much. What fun. We've rarely watched porn; she has no interest in seeing other people having sex and it doesn't arouse her (so much for same-room sex). She doesn't have any fantasies about having sex with other people. She doesn't talk dirty and the word "fuck" is almost impossible to pry out of her mouth. We do have reservations at the Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs in early November. It's a clothing optional resort and I hope she'll become a bit more comfortable around naked people. She's agreed to go but made it clear she intends to remain clothed. I told her that's fine. I'll be naked. I appreciate her even going with me. Anyway, I wonder if there are other men on here with equally hopeless situations. I've all but resigned myself to the fact that I'll never get to indulge in that forbidden pleasure of outside sex WITH my wife there, enjoying it with me. It is deeply disappointing, and I like to believe that somehow, someday, she might come around on her own. But not too likely. Comments? How do you handle this? Do you keep pressing? Did you give up? Why exactly are you here reading the forum like me? -
What about a couple that the F half is absolutely against it and the M half would like to try swinging because of increased libido and wife's decrease. Advice?
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Ok we were going to Memphis (for my Job) Shell was going along. We had meet a couple on "MySpace" about 9 months ago...we had chatted ALOT and actually meet for dinner and drinks 3 months ago in Nashville (Knowing we would not play since "Mr Stud" had just had back surgery 3 weeks before and was on activity restriction. That night we had fun, laughed, drank and had a great non-sexual time. Jump ahead to our trip and we ask them if they want to meet in Memphis. They immediatly said yes.....so we meet in the lobby of the hotel, had drinks in the bar, went to dinner, drank, danced and then went to the hotel room. So things get going and thus we nicknamed them "Mr Stud and Mrs Dead Fish". "Mr Stud" and my wife had an AWESOME time....however me and "Mrs Dead Fish" there was something wrong....she just laid there eyes closed and did not seem into it....I asked her if she wanted to stop (several times) and she always said "No, I want you to screw me"....finally I came and she got up and went to the bathroom and closed the door. After about 15 minutes she came out (put panties and bra on) and sat in a chair while I sat naked on the bed....all the while Mr Stud and Shell are still going strong...... So they finish and Shell joins me in the bed I am in, KNOWS I am disappointed, and begins making out and jumps on me THANK GOD knowing I needed some real action....meanwhile I notice MR Stud and Mrs Dead Fish are doing it...once again she is laying on the bed eyes closed and seems totally not into him while he is watching us....a few minutes pass and she is up getting dressed and he is sitting on the bed jerking it.....so Shell gets up on all fours and takes us both on me doggy and him oral....after we finish we chat and talk and Mrs Dead Fish reads the freaking paper....after about 30 minutes she states they need to go.....and they leave......we get home and have an email from her about the GREAT time they had and they want to get together again.......but she never seemed really into it. Supposedly this are expierenced swingers. Any thoughts of similar expierence
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Recently we received an email from a couple and they wrote: they like our profile, are interested in meeting and will look for us at an upcoming M&G that we are attending. We are on the event list (as well as our tag line) on sls so that's how they know we are going. I checked their profile and we're not interested in this couple from a play time standpoint. On the high end of our age range and there's just no physical connection based on the profile. I'm on the fence as to how to respond. I don't want to seem rude and say no, we don't want to talk to you..always willing the chat with people. But I also want them to understand there's no interest on our part of a sexual nature. I can either send an email now and say...thanks, be happy to talk at the M&G but I don't think we are compatible, blah blah. Or just meet (if they find us) and then email later that we are not interested. Had they just inquired about meeting I would have said we're not interested but I don't want to come off like an asshole and say no..we will NOT talk to you..lol. The M&G at the end of this week so I need to decide soon. Thanks for your e-pinions! -
As with anything, practice makes perfect. We have to make our own mistakes before we really learn and this encounter really amplifies the importance of patience and some other important things before meeting someone. I met a couple on the internet and began chatting with them. They had contacted me and they were a bit younger than I was at the time. I usually only meet couples that are older than me, but I was 27ish and they were only a couple years younger...maybe 25 and 24. While this wasn't strike one, it was something that I had compromised on with myself. Older couples with houses, debt, dogs and kids are typically more stable and more attractive to me. We had chatted on the internet and phone and exchanged some pics. The pics they sent me were a little dated and that childbirth had move things around a little bit. Her self confidence hadn't returned and she was very camera shy so she didn't want to send a recent photo. STRIKE ONE. Fast Ball right down the center! I joke that I am a coffee whore and that I will meet anyone in the lifestyle for coffee and chat. I do enjoy meeting new people and I don't choose friends or coffee buddies on looks. A public place is essential to meet someone for first time. Starbucks is a relaxed, no pressure, no expectations venue. It was difficult arranging a public meeting with this new couple. They were having problems finding a sitter, and we both were working odd schedules. We finally had worked together to arrange a meet for one evening. Later in the day we talked on the phone and the sitter had garden variety excuse and couldn't make it. They wanted to know if I minded coming over directly to their home and we can share some drinks or a bottle of wine. STRIKE TWO When I arrived, the person in the photo was definitely not the person greeting me at the door. I am not hung up on looks at all, and feel personality is much more important...but there has to be some physical attraction. Trying to make the most of what we had tried to put together, I wanted to share conversation and maybe a drink, and learn about experiences they had and so forth. I had already made up my mind that something physical would not happen. We go to the living room and the husband puts on some porn. It is his wife that he has videotaped with someone else. STRIKE...FOUL BALL. Somehow we get that off the TV and a music channel as we begin conversation about the lifestyle, likes, dislikes, and experiences... The husband is overpowering the conversation and when I ask her, who she likes to meet or what she enjoys...he answers for her. I was witnessing the classic door mat relationship STRIKE FOUL...PLEASE UMP THROW ME OUT OF THE GAME!!! I am searching for a convenient way to wrap things up politely and find the exit when he tells her that I look like I need a Blowjob and cajoles her into moving over to me as I am protesting and looking for the door. STRIKE FOUL...UMP YOU'RE A #$%^&*() THROW ME OUT OF THE GAME As I am resisting her advances and his pressure for her to make the advance, their child begins crying... STRIKE THREE.....I'M OUT! The crying child was my way out and I politely left. When I got home, I politely emailed and let them know that I didn't think we were a good match and that we lacked chemistry...... Do we need to review the important lessons here?
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Hello, male half here. I need some advice and guidance on a common issue in the lifestyle. First a little background, we have been active in the lifestyle for a year or so. I am fit and healthy (I workout, no beer gut) try to dress nice, am perfectly groomed and clean. I am of pleasant disposition and can carry on an intelligent conversation on a wide variety of topics and I am not obsessed with sex and can talk to women about anything and am always respectful and courteous. Here's the problem, my wife is downright beautiful and I am not. I am not deformed or disfigured but I am no Brad Pitt by any stretch of the imagination, I am just a face in the crowd. It seems like it is pretty universal in the lifestyle that the female halves of couples are significantly more attractive than their male partners. My wife is straight and has no interest in F/F play so we are not one of those couples where the women play and the men just sit on the sidelines. Wherever we go she could have any male in the room but of course is only interested in those that she finds very attractive. That is fine in and of itself but those guys have partners that stop traffic and are way out of my league. Of the women that do give me the time of day and are in my league their partners don't do anything for my wife. What my question is is how do I as an average Joe Sixpack compensate for lack of physical assets to make myself a more prospective match for women that are used to getting whatever guy they want? Please don't tell me this is an insecurity issue on my part. I am not insecure, this is an very real issue not only for me but for many people in the LS. I guess the bottom line question is what do women want from a male half of a couple when genetic re-engineering or cosmetic surgery is not an option? Any suggestions, hints or ideas will be much appreciated. -
I figured this would be the best place to ask my questions since it seems you guys have some experience. My husband of 7 years has been trying to get me to have a threesome or group sex with him. It started off years ago just joking around but we have seriously been talking about it lately. I have some issues that I feel I would need to work through first. I really dont like the idea of him with another woman even if Im there. To me it seems like cheating with permission. Ive tried to explain my view point to him but I dont think he understands it. For me it seems that I am not enough for him or that Im doing something wrong in the bedroom, he says this is not the case its just something he would like to experience and he figures that we've been together long enough that he could bring it up. Now here are my questions, Do we keep talking about it? Do I comprimise myself to make him happy? If I am not willing to do this do I just say no, and become a hypocrite if one day it happens? (explaniation: I am very open to it spontaneously happening but that time may never come) If I say no, where does that leave us? Do I tell him to go and find someone who will do this with him and make him happy? I have two children with him and love him very much but Im not sure what to do now. Also Im a jealous person and it almost hurts that he wants to share me with others, he says he doesnt see it that way, I should be honored because its so good he wants to share it with others. ugg....... sorry this was long, any answers are appreciated. thanks.
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I love my wife. We've been married for 13 years. When we were dating and then lived together she was excited about sex. She would be somewhat adventurous. Then we got married and all that stopped. I have been patient now for 13 yrs. My ex and I were into swinging and I have always wanted to get back into it. I knew that I couldn't push Deb my (my wife now ) into it and have never pushed or really even brought it up for fear of completely offending her. The thing is she doesn't want to do anything to spice up our sex life at all. I am bored to tears. I would rather masturbate than to have sex with her because it's more exciting. I have tried to have honest conversations a number of times over the years about things we could do to add some life to our sexual activities. There is nothing that interests her but kissing. That is the only answer I get from her when I ask her what would get her more excited about it. When we have talked about sex it has always got to be very clinical terminology or it offends. I have tried to romance her. I have tried to get her drunk. I've even tried doing all the work around the house, like dishes, cooking, laundry, taking care of our child so she can go out and have fun. I spent $600 for a day at a very exclusive spa, then took her to San Francisco for dinner and to spend the night in a beautiful hotel suite. Nothing works. I don't expect her to swing (although that would be nice) I just want her to act like she actually wants to make love with me instead of it being a chore, or "her wifely duty". I never had a woman be unhappy with my lovemaking before. I have an 8" cock that is fairly thick. I love romance and oral sex. I love to take my time. I just don't understand what the problem is. She has given up wearing anything sexy at all saying "that isn't me". I went out and bought her some sex toys thinking maybe it might start a fantasy for her. She wouldn't even touch them saying again "that isn't me". She told me a long time ago that if I were going to fool around on her to please tell her first. Well I think that's what I going to do. I don't want a divorce because I love her and we have worked hard to build a life together. We are happy in just about every other way. I would like to hear comments or suggestions. Please, I am desperate at this point to bring some excitement into my, or our, sex life. Thanks for listening.
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We are at a total loss of words for this and not sure what to say, but we definitely need some advice as quickly as possible. It is probably best to just lay the facts on the table. ~We are new swingers (less than a year). Our first couple that we were with and continue to swing with has several years (guessing somewhere between 3 and 5). ~We prefer to have a friendship with those that we swing with. We have a lot of outside factors in common with this couple. We have maintained an ongoing friendship both in and out of the bedroom. For the last several weeks, through IM/email contact with both of them, it was apparent that something was up. Tonight the F half confided in us that she was only doing "this" for her husband and that she wanted to stop all together. This really shocked us as he seems to be the one who really loves to see her pleased. They never gave this impression at anytime that we have been with them or talked with them, although when I look back some signs were there. (Where do you draw the line). She relayed that she would be willing to "settle" for just one couple with a bi-female. They currently keep themselves booked about twice a week with new couples or singles. (We did not know this until about 2 weeks ago.) She begged us not to let her husband know that she had told us this. We told her she needed to talk to him....and fast! (We didn't know what to say...besides being stunned...We don't have enough experience to offer good advice.) I Lori am pulling my hair out here! We are both discouraged by the fact that we thought they were secure in the lifestyle (in all aspects) only to find out that they clearly are not. She is supposed to call us when her husband will be out of town next week so she can talk with us about it. We think she should be talking with her husband and not us. They are both very nice people, we do not want to hurt their feelings. What do we say? Top that off with the fact that we are now questioning whether or not we want to continue in this lifestyle, as we believed they were comfortable and secure in the lifestyle and we are wondering now if it will kill our own relationship a few years down the road. We are not willing to do that. UGGGGHHHHH! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Lori and Gene
