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https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/oxsfe7/me_25m_grew_up_with_parents_48f_and_52m_who_had/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/comments/u62mb5/my_son_found_out_and_is_rejecting_us/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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There was topic the other day about what to do with all there swinging photos/videos. Well this past Christmas holiday my husband got himself a new computer, he follow the basic installation. while installing he installed OneDrive. A few days later our daughter saw a new icon on her laptop with the OneDrive icon and saw us in one of are "parties" from 2016. Hubby didn't realize he put it in shared mode. She kinda freak out and call us to her room and explain ourselves and what we are doing. At that point since the cat is out of the bag, we told her the truth and about us and our lifestyle and what we have done. She was asking us a whole lot of questions and we were honest to all her questions. During all this confession, our daughter told us that she is bi too, only since June 2021, and told us her first time happen in a foursome with her ex bf at the time and her bff and her bf in a after school prom party. During the Covid lock down she felt bored and wishes to try new stuff. So with her friends and all four agree to try something new and try the foursome. She told us that she like the experience and she and them continued to have experience with three and four some till my daughter broke up with her bf ( for other reason) and she continued to have threesome with her bff and bf ever once and a while. Recently she ask us that she wanted to try it and become a swinger and see what it was like. She ask us if it ok with us to take her to 1 of our local clubs for her 19 birthday in March (legal age where we are from) and (if there no other delay in opening thing open up). It was something we did not expect to be ask from her. I was speechless for the first time in a long time. I did not know how to answer her. I know I need to give her answer soon. I know I can not keep dodging the question and I need to answer her soon. We haven't told any of our swingers friends about her and her request . She the oldest of all our swingers friends who have kids. We never really talk about it, our kids life, We do not know if any of our swingers friends haved shared their personal life to there own kids. We know our daughter is adult, gonna be 19 in March, old enough to make her own choices in life. We trust her judgment. If we do not give her our blessing we don't how she will react, she might go off and go own her own without any real knowledge of the people she hang out with. And if we do give our blessings we know that she will be safe with people and places that we know and we can give her the best advice we can. We are aware that if we do give our blessings there a good chance that she might be "playing" with are swingers friends. And we are ok with that. It all part of the Swinger lifestyle. Different people, different ages, everyone there having a good time. Our question to you all is, how do we proceed, do we give her our blessings or not. Any parents here that had similar situation happen to them. And any people here who has swingers parents ? what was it like knowing that your parents were swingers. What was it like knowing the truth about them. Thank you for your time in reading this long text. And thanks in advance for the replies. -
Our son found out and he resents us.
distraughtparents replied to Hiimnew's topic in Swinging Situational HELP!
Somebody on reddit recommended to come here. Our son(23M) was returning one of our bags we left at his house a week ago. He decided to return it late at night last Saturday. Our "party" ended and we had people leaving. Apparently, when he reached out front door we had couples leaving and talking about the party. My wife opened the door in shock. He threw the bag on the floor "Here's your stuff, sorry if I interrupted your orgy." My wife, as usual started blowing up his phone. My wife had the phone on speaker. He picked up the fourth time and "Mom we can talk about this on Friday at my place but I want to be left alone for this week. Friday came and we were sitting at his place. He let out a lot of his frustrations. He said "You guys were basically gone every other weekend when I was 16 years old. Was the only time you guys were at home was because you didn't have any fuck buddies to suck and fuck?" I told him to watch the way he spoke to us and that we did still spent time on the days we didn't go nor we gone for the whole weekend. He responds "Yeah name one time you guys did anything with me on an individual basis? You guys were attached to the hip basically. I was actually jealous of your relationship. How fucked up is that! I used to think it's nice and all how much you love each other but couldn't show me the same amount of love and attention. I used to get sick seeing you snuggle with each other like teenagers whenever we used to watch a movie together. You used to tease me about it but you had no idea how I felt inside." I responded with telling him that a romantic relationship and a parent child relationship are completely different. He gets pissed off and said" Don't insult my intelligence. I know that. It's still doesn't change you guys cared more about each other. I've seen how girlfriend's parents love on her. I used to get jealous. By the way, mom, yes my girlfriend isn't a big fan of yours. She doesn't respect you as my parents. The reason I didn't share how I felt when I was at home because it felt humiliating." My wife starts bawling in tears and starts begging for forgiveness while reaching out for a hug. He rebukes and calls her a whore. I started seeing red and I was up in his face telling him to watch his mouth. He then responds with saying "What are you going to do man-whore. I shouldn't be calling you a man. Get the fuck out of my house before I lose control." My wife has called out for going to work tomorrow and today. She hasn't left the bed and is crying. I've been crying all night. My son hates my guts and I don't know what to do. *Note: there's alot more cursing, so paraphrased the stuff he said -
We have three children, two boys and a younger daughter who is in High School. Our boys got the daddy/son talk when they were in high school, daughters are different as everyone knows. It’s difficult even thinking my little angel is doing anything. My wife has taken her to her doctor, bless my wife birth control was discussed and options given. I learned our daughter was put on a low dose pill which is good for acne, anxiety and birth control. I suggested a padlock. For years my wife depended on my vasectomy, then swinging came into our lives. She went on a pill, then side effects happen. Over 40, I read pills weren’t a good idea, she had an IUD placed, finally a ligation. We play primarily with friends and condoms aren’t being used. I’m not worried about our play just what our daughter is using and precautions she takes. It’s impossible for me to talk to her about sex, I know she is bright, being smart has nothing to do with sex. How have you handled your daughters growing up?
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I was speaking to my brother over Xmas about relationships and sex, mainly as my niece is now 13 and showing strong signs of sexual interest in boys. This lead to discussions on ages of consent and at what ages what should be allowed. He wants her to be 18 but accepts this won't happen. And we both considered we were 13 and 15 when we lost our virginities and consider this to be fine. What are others thoughts on the age of consent? What do think is the ideal age for first sex? Does it make a difference what it is and who it's with (e.g. heavy petting, kissing, oral sex, penetration, and with someone close in age or doesn't it matter?). It appears different countries have different laws on this. Ages range from 13 to marriage. Some have close in age exceptions. Please let me know your thoughts. I'll put a poll up to. Post when you lost your virginity if you wish. Parents what are your expectations on your children? Thanks.
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Husband Upset at Lack of Opportunities because of Kid
UnsureFuture15 posted a topic in Swingers Talk
We've been in the lifestyle on and off for six years. Stopped during pregnancy and first two years of child's life. Lately he's been getting mad that we can't swing every weekend. When we discussed getting back into the lifestyle, I said maybe one to two weekends a month. He agreed. Now he gets angry that we get messages about parties or guys that want to meet up, but we can't because his mom or my mom can't babysit overnight on short notice. Our mom's are great babysitters and love to, but I don't think it's fair to call them Saturday morning to ask if they can have a sleepover Saturday night. Also, my husband won't ask his mom, so I have to. The example that has me livid with him occurred last night. Him "so my mom can't babysit tomorrow night? " Me "no, she has your niece all day tomorrow" Him "well did you ask?" Me "no, because she said 'I'm going to be exhausted Saturday because I'm going to have ivy all day. So it'd be hard to have a sleepover'" Him "well you should ask her" Me "why? " Him "there's a party tomorrow night" Me "I don't want to pressure your mom if she has ivy scheduled, especially since your mom is having a sleepover with our daughter next weekend. " Him "fine, whatever. Don't you know anyone else who can babysit?" Me "my parents are our of town. Your sister can't (she has a heart condition), can you think of anyone? " Him "no, I guess our night is ruined. " Me "when my sister is back from overseas she can." Him " that doesn't help us right now, does it? " Me "sorry" From that point on, he didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. He was the one who wanted to start trying for kids when got married and now he's mad that we can't swing every weekend. I don't trust non family babysitters. Next weekend, I'm suppossed to take him on a ghost investigation for his birthday, but I feel like I should just cancel it so he can plan some swinging thing since that's all he cares about anymore. Am I overreacting in his behavior last night? Thanks in advance. -
The world of swinging has changed over the years. Come September I will have been swinging for 12 years and I have seen a lot changes over the years. My parents have been at it for nearly 30 years. We have seen lots of changes in our local swinger club, and resorts we have been to. When I started there was less the 10 or so girls/women who were under 21 that were members at the swinger club where I go to and even less guys. But over the years the crowd of young people started getting bigger. Now there about 30 or so girls/women members and about 10 or so guys (almost all the guys are 21 at the club and most are wannabe porn stars who are looking for practice). At the resort there were a bit more people in the under 21 (depends where you go) since it was people from different parts of the world who vacation. But over the years the number has grown to nearly 10 percent of the guests that are under 21. Over the years I have noticed that there were more and more people whose parents are swingers as well. When I started it was just a handful of people whose parents were also swingers and now it seems it nearly tripled over the years. Do you think that swinging has become more acceptable over the years? Back in my parents days there was no internet and that, they had to do it the old fashioned way, from key parties to going to strip clubs together to see if there was another married couple that enjoyed going to strip clubs together. Now today there is everything to help people in the lifestyle. I'm curious to hear you all, what changes you have seen over the years? Do you think the changes have been positive or negative to the lifestyle in general?
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Hello, Petra here again with an update on our family situation, which currently consists of my husband, Clair, me, Red, our son Junior, our daughter Petunia (Clair's, mine and hubby's), along with Lora who is a lover to hubby, a sex partner for all of us, and sort of a permanent guest, like one of the family. I generally avoid talking about two things at work - houses and kids because people usually go on about them too much, but you folks here might be interested because of our poly/sexual situation. Clair has been pushing the idea that we should get on with our personal lives instead of putting work first. She has pretty much already done that, devoting herself to Junior and Petunia over her career. Lora has been great with the children as well. Clair especially wants to have another child (she wants both of us to become pregnant at the same time again, like last time). I agree with her. I enjoy being a mom, especially being so bonded with Clair in all of this, and I have proven to my own satisfaction my competence at my "job". At first it was mostly skill, both technical and managerial, but now I am into the ranks where politics play much more into it. I'm good at it, but proving myself in that BS isn't satisfying. One project we've been working on is getting a new house. Clair, hubby, the children and I (and Lora most of the time) currently live in a house that we bought when it was just David and I. The next place will need to have room for us, plus the future children we plan to have. We all agree that Red must be next to us, but not in the same house, in order to accommodate his working habits and situation. Especially since Red will be the father of my next child, he needs to be right next to us when his help is needed. We've looked at a number of places with and it comes down to either a place with "mother-in-law" quarters plus a garage for Red, or two adjacent properties (next to each other or back to back) that are the right sizes. That would be more of a pain to work out, buying two places and building a breezeway for Red (or digging a tunnel, as hubby suggests). It is both thrilling and frightening to think about getting another home, however it may be configured, and having more children. But without a doubt, we're all in it for the long haul. -
This exchange is interesting to me, for reasons I state below. I didn't want to derail that thread. Quote Originally Posted by WesternSwing "Although initially we were secretive, as we moved more into polyamorous relationships it was more difficult to keep things secret without excluding our other partners and making them feel terrible or unimportant. These days I don't broadcast my relationships, but I don't keep them secret, either. All my family know that I live with my partner and her husband and that I have another partner, also. Both my partners come to my office and visit and I go to lunch with both, sometimes at the same time. Coworkers either don't suspect anything, don't want to ask or don't care. All my partners and their families are welcome at my family's functions, also. It feels good to be "out" and just lived life as I want to. From Drinnt: THAT must be an amazing feeling! My wife and I are 6 months into what has become and exclusive polyamorous relationship. They have a family and kids and discretion is important to them. We have no kids and frankly would LOVE my family and friends to know so we could have our lovers around and involved in our extended "non secret" lives. Our family and friends KNOW about our lover couple but they think they are vanilla friends...maybe they suspect something but it's never discussed. I just think it would be an amazing feeling to be OUT with it. " Over the last year I have become become close with a very fun and enjoyable woman. Started as a swinging but progressed past a sexual attraction very quickly. She and her longtime boyfriend and my wife have also become close friends, although not romantic. Together we are great friends and do a lot of vanilla stuff together. It's not a poly relationship between all four of us, my wife and he have no feelings beyond friendship for each other. Nothing is hidden between us adults, but we haven't shared anything with our kids. They have no kids, we have two. Frankly, it is difficult at times to keep up the facade that nothing is going between her and I. Teenagers are more perceptive than we think. My son, who is 18, knows we swing, but he doesn't know or at least hasn't let on that he knows about our poly relationship. Our 12 year old daughter knows nothing about swinging or anything beyond the fact that we have some close friends. However it is going to be difficult to keep from her long term. Sometimes my wife says we should come out and tell the kids whats going so we don't have to tip-toe around anything. Her take on this is colored her gay brother who is "out" to the siblings but not to his parents. It causes a lot of grief and stress explaining why he is 48 and never married. (his mother probably knows but they all prefer to ignore it.) She thinks he should just tell her. What experiences have you with coming out? What pitfalls to avoid? Should we just stay closeted and enjoy it for what it is? -
How many people had parents who were swingers? If so, how did you find out? -
"OOPS! We totally meant to pixelate your face, but we forgot" The couple tried to sue the tv station after their daughter discovered the video online, showing her undisguised parents at a swinger club. The judge threw it out making the point that for them to sue the daughter would have to appear in court and testify to how distraught this made her, which would only leave her more distraught. Teen girl discovers 'swinging' parents online - The Local Embarrassed parents of girl, 15, who saw them swinging in sex club on TV programme win damages | Mail Online -
Like many we have met through the lifestyle, we are parents of a younger child. We agreed we would never have an encounter at our house, mostly because we don't want our son knowing our business. He's too young to stay by himself all night, so we are always looking for sitters and people to watch him while we go out. We don't have any family in the surrounding area, and there's other problems with that too... Hence, we're feeling a little aggravated; not at our son, but at the lack of availability of decent sitters... What we have found, is that the only people we feel meet our prerequisites, are other swingers. (The fact that they understand our situation is an added bonus, and might even help reduce the cost of the hotel if we split the same room.) So we're tempted to offer to watch their kid(s) one night if they will watch ours the next, and this would probably work well since we live closer to where the clubs are than many we have talked to. (It's a Texas thing...) But we still feel apprehensive about it... How would other parents feel about letting a couple you know swings watch your kids? It's a given, they would have to be decent people, but that's usually not a problem with swingers... Would you be willing to trade off nights, provided it was convenient for both couples, of course? Does anyone know of any alternative or have any suggestions for finding someone to watch the kiddo? Thanks,
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How many of you ladies in a polyamousous relationship have had a child by the man in your relationship who wasn't your husband?
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Female half of a poly couple here. My hubby of seven years and I have recently welcomed Angie (a 25 year old woman) into our marriage. We have a very busy household with our 2 small children (3 and 5 year old boys). Angie is now expecting my hubby's first child. We are all excited about her pregnancy. She is now 7 months and hubby is very excited for sure. How do others tell their existing children about the impending arrival?? -
There's another thread here about couples with children vs. couples without children and it got me thinking about something that was already rolling around in my head. Recently we contacted a couple that has children (their ad didn't say they had children but given the age it's a safe assumption up front). We asked if they were interested and their first reply was nothing more than "yes we are interested". So we wrote back and asked about making plans to meet for dinner or drinks and gave a basic rundown of our schedule and when we are available. They wrote back with "we'll have to line up a sitter and get back to you". Ok, so when are you lining a sitter up for? Should we keep our shedules open for you for the next 3 weeks? Or is my initial thought that we will probably never hear from you again correct? So my advice to those of you who have children, whether you are contacting/being contacted by another couple with kids or without... when you reply back that you need to line up a sitter, try at least give an idea of when you might be considering lining up said sitter. Would it be rude of me to reply back to them "When do you think you'll be lining that sitter up for?" or would that just come off as pushy (probably the latter). I've gotten internet bitch-slapped before by a couple with kids who got their panties in a wad because I suggested we line up a date to meet and they took that to mean that we should meet tomorrow and how dare we forget that they have kids and have to get a sitter. So for those that have kids.... we all understand that you have kids... but you have to understand that everyone else can't be expected to just sit around waiting for your schedule to magically open up and for you to get a sitter, so you can let us know at the last minute. I'd dare say that most people with kids have a vague idea of when they might be able to get a sitter, many of you already have one scheduled for every other weekend or so. So if you want to actually meet people then be specific when trying to set up a date and don't just leave people hanging with this vague "we've got to get a sitter" excuse. //end rant
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This really got me thinking this morning. It was an answer to a question in this thread: Children at first meets between couples I didn't want to hijack that thread and steer it in another direction, so here are my thoughts. It occurred to me that swingers have unknowingly opened a Pandora's box, that they have been loathe to even admit existed. Talking to our kids about swinging. I personally see doing so as a chance to improve the worlds view of swinging. I get to teach 2 people that swinging isn't inherently bad, and can in fact be a very rewarding experience. Unless you totally isolate your kids, what is swinging is going to be a topic of discussion. Sadly I don't have much faith that swingers will be "open" and "honest" enough to make the best of this chance. Thoughts?
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Well sooner or later it was bound to happen...our children now know that their parents hang out with swingers at a swing club. They are not aware that we swing. We live by the motto "admit nothing, deny everything, immediately begin counter accusations". That came into play! It started a bit over a week ago. I'm a member (well was) of Jay Boy Productions myspace friend list because I think the clothes rock and Jay Boy is a friend and autographed my shirt at a public appearance. Well...my 16yo daughter is also on the list of buddies, since she too owns a Jay Boy Productions shirt. One night late when she could not sleep she was browsing the friends list on everyone and their brother she has on her buddy list. While going through the Jay Boy list she saw my profile picture. Ok that is the pic that is currently on my profile, the clear high heeled shoes, green ankle bow. The shoes had been confiscated from her as she only needed them one time, and she was with me when I purchased the bow for St. Patty's day. At the time there was no face pic in my other pics, just the pic of me in the white lingerie that is there now. She looked at the background and recognized my room. She emails me on this ID with, "ehem....those are MY shoes and OMG please say you did NOT wear that out in public!!" I'm busted and Jon is less than a happy camper. He tried to warn me...yada yada yada. We talked to her, she had no questions but we are certain a boat load of assumptions. Immediately she began going down a list of friends of ours and asking "are they swingers???" We explained that we like to hang out at a swinger's club, Club 440 at The Main Event, for the atmosphere, sexy fun etc, but that we do not sleep with the people there. Ok we don't...just our friends! And only a select few. (admit nothing, deny everything....) This all was well and good till her 22yo brother got wind of it. He and the fiance dropped by one night last week. I had told the fiance we were going to a theme party and dressing as pirates. She has this never ending collection of sexy clothes and brought me some stuff she no longer wears that would help complete my costume. While they are there and she is showing me these things in front of my son, and he starts into cop mode (of all professions he had to pick that one). SON: Exactly what are these ho clothes for? MOM: Dad and I are going to a theme party. SON: And this party is where? MOM: At a bar SON: what bar would that be? MOM: its on the east side of town you've never heard of it SON: WHAT bar is it? MOM: ok its more of a private club SON: the name of the club would be??? MOM: don't worry about it you've never heard of it. At this point he glances at his little sister who is ready to burst...that was all she needed, she busts out laughing rather hard at the corner I've been backed into, finding it highly amusing. SON: Well try me, what is the name of the club? (now giving me the cop stare) MOM: Club 440 at The Main Event SON: What? what the hell is that? MOM: (back to the wall) It is a swingers club SON: OMG!!!! With that he ran up to the kitchen and pulled out the potato chips and starts to chow. How cute, he is a comfort eater like his mommy! After a few chips he is looking at me, then shaking his head grinning...and blushing. Its tough to make him blush. His fiance is busy saying how cool that is and how it seems mom and dad are having way more fun that the son and fiance. Then she says she would like to check it out sometime. PANIC!!! I told them no, that is MY playground. They asked a lot of questions. Again we told them we go, dance, mom pole dances and lap dances for dad, we dress very sexy and flirt, tease etc but we do not play with all those people. (just a few select...Admit nothing, deny everything....) Later that night the fiance sends me a text that says the son is not half as wigged about it as he is jealous. SO...now the kids know where we hang out. We're fairly certain that they also are not stupid enough to believe we don't play...but they didn't ask and we aren't telling. The nice part is now I don't have to sneak around to pack up my club wear for the night, try to explain why I'm taking a cooler of beer to a "bar", and no longer have to make up stuff about where all these friends are coming from. What about you? Do your kids know? Hugs & Licks, Jaz
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Just a quick thought on Tarnishhalo's post "Angry about Swinging" and the comment by her about the children finding out, I noticed that only one person caught on and actually addressed that statement, so I figured what the hell, might as well find out ; What would you do if your children discovered you kinky side??? (by the way, I'm not talking about finding a toy, like what if your son or daughter saw your profile on their friends computer or came home unexpectedly and walked in on mommy getting it from 2 men??? or daddy muff diving on a woman that wasn't Mommy???? ) What would you say??? How would you say it??? How would you explain that even though Mommy and Daddy have sex with other people, that their lives (& the kids lives) are still in a secure place??? And if you were embarrassed for your children to find out, a feeling of guilt or shame, isn't that your subconscious really trying to tell you something???? I am so curious to know how some would sit their kids down and have this type of talk with your children.
