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Showing results for tags 'partner not interested'.
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Before we had gotten into the lifestyle, I always had an issue with keeping true to a monogamous relationship. Finally we discovered swinging and that was a total game changer. I was no longer dishonest with my wife, we indulged in many things together and I had a new found passion. However, now my wife has decided she no longer wants to be a part of it and I couldn't honestly or happily continue on without her. Not to mention my new favorite fetish is cuckolding and ya kinda need the wife in the picture for that... anyhow, I truly feel like if we were to completely stop and never do this again, I would not be happy or feel completely fulfilled. But I can't lose or leave my wife, we have too much together and I love her so much. Any advice? Her reasons are because we never have time, our location is not the best, and she has found religion that obviously has rules against such acts. -
Wife cool with me swinging, but isn't interested herself
Dolemitegio posted a topic in Swinging Solo
Recently my wife and I have been talking about all manner of sexual exploration: threesomes, lifestyle parties, having sex (with each other) next to another couple, etc. Our communication is open and honest and, ultimately, she is fully supportive of the idea of me sleeping with another woman, but feels like she couldn’t have casual sex herself and she is not interested in a swap or bringing in another person (m or f) into our bedroom. We’ve set the ground rules for it and I’m excited but part of me thinks rather than go out of town with a single buddy and pretend to be single and hook up, it might be easier/more fun/get more understanding from someone in the lifestyle. I’m new to this. Aren’t individual guys a pretty hard sell? Or am I underestimating the amount of guys cool with their wives swinging if they don’t get the other wife in the deal? Guidance for a noob welcome. -
Yep - that's where we seem to be at right now ... the last couple of weeks in particular, talk of another guy/ cock/ mouth/ pair of hands had been a common theme and while I'd been introducing the topic more often, my wife would also independently talk about cock generically rather than just mine, about men rather than just me ... that sort of thing ... and after I had told her how and why I'd love for another guy to suck her one tit while I suck the other as she rides me cowgirl (our favourite position) ... she didn't say much but I could tell from her orgasm that she was turned on ... was it the thought of another guy sucking or was it coming anyway??? Anyway that and some of her smiles that she couldn't keep from making at some of our "naughty talk" about other guys led me to believe that at least a part of her was attracted to the idea - a fairly significant part I thought ... (and actually I still think that a part of her likes the idea!!) When we were making love yesterday morning, I was more direct in my talk than I'd ever been - I think we were spooning while my hands explored the whole of her body - and I was nibbling her neck and shoulders intermittently - I started talking about how great it would to have another guy on the other side to stimulate more of her than I was actually able to from my position ... she was a bit taken aback at this, saying that she doesn't need anyone else, reminding me of how I'd once suggested swinging to her, that she thought I just wanted to have sex with other women. I told her while that would be fun I thought, what I really wanted was to see her indulging her "naughty girl" side and also get stimulated in as many places as possible .. to give her an even more exciting experience than we'd be able to with just the two of us ... how what turns me on more than anything is when she's excited and enjoying sex ... she said I was all she wanted ... and also how it could be dangerous - what if she decided she wanted to run off with the other guy - I said we're very much in love so that wouldn't happen ... that it might just be a one off for a bit of fun ... she also said that God wouldn't like it (we both are Christians) and I said He might not, but it would be fun and we do other bad things too - which is true! ... I continued to talk about how much fun it would be to blindfold her and for her to guess who was doing what to her ... she said she'd know how I felt anyway - I said I didn't mind too much - but it would be fun for example to feel the difference between my kinky cock (it curves upwards and slightly to the left) -and a straighter one for example - but she said she wouldn't orgasm this time since she was too distracted ... and was true to her word ... She was telling me how I'm not normal, but not in an accusing way - but I think she likes that in me too in a way! She knows that I desire her and she keeps telling me how high my sex drive is - I tell her it's her fault for being the world's sexiest woman - she turns me on like no-one else of course! and has a fantastic body for someone of any age - certainly for a 50 year old ... she is luscious and a good shape - everything is just the right size and shape!! Anyway, why am I writing this? Firstly to just update you on where we're at, secondly to see whether any other people have walked this path and how that developed for them and thirdly to see how others read this, since I don't want to keep pushing her into something she might not on balance actually want. It seems better to me to just leave things as they are for now (with just generic talk about wanting to suck both her tits at once, wishing I had an extra pair of hands and stuff like that, although often just to enjoy our lovemaking between us. As always, viewpoints, comments and stories much appreciated. Thanks! Al
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I've posted a few times and received great advice from many of you. My wife and I have not progressed much in the swinging department but we've been communicating much more about the topic. My goal is to make her feel comfortable about taking our sexuality to the next level a threesome. We've been together for 18 years and I still get hard just looking at her, I think her self image is holding her back. I tell her how hot and sexy she is, and guys everywhere find her attractive. I'm trying to create the perfect scenario, at least what I think she would want. S he's open to the idea of a mmf but is afraid of what if she enjoyed herself too much and how I would react? I tell her I'm very confidant and I want see her eyes roll to the back of her head. I tell her the more she enjoyed it the more it would turn me on! I tell her her I want to see her in ecstasy and yes of course it's for me too. She is very beautiful and deserves getting turned and having total pleasure, even by a a better looking, more endowed, longer stamina lover than me. I think I'm fine with it as long as I'm there for it. So anyway, I think I'm pushing a little much because I'm chomping at the bit. I give her full disclosure and she'll answer me comfortably but never has a follow up question for me. I tell her very vividly how sexy it would be to see her handling two cocks. Should I just hang back and let everything resonate with her. She is never surprised or disgusted with my thoughts. She's just reserved? I would say mildly interested? -
What is a horny bi curious husband to do? In a perfect world my wife and I would befriend another bi curious couple to explore and play with. Reality is she is opposed to swinging, and I am raging hard dreaming of sharing a hard cock with her. In Iowa it is hard pressed to meet the right couple to initiate us. One turns to the infamous Craigslist, but with little success. There just has to be a better way. I know that out there is a bi couple waiting to discover us as well.
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I'm a 27 yo male and Im excited about swinging with my gf. Never done it but I think it's exciting. My current gf is not extremely keen on such things and it may take a long time before she is ready. Knowing that things like swinging is what turns me on a lot, should I still marry someone who is not a swinger or should I keep looking for a gf and potential wife who is up for swinging? I think it will be ideal I find someone with the same kinky interests, but how do I find such a girl and potential partner?
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My girlfriend has been quite reluctant and hesitant about swinging or the idea of it. It's really new to both of us. When we have sex I used to bring up the idea of swinging and us being with another couple... she has been keeping quiet. Today I brought it up again and she played along... kept telling me about how she is imagining how another guy is fucking her, etc. Seemed to turn her on quite a bit. And she even mentioned how I'll be enjoying the other girl, etc.... all in the heat of the moment. And after that we didn't speak about it. This is heading in the right direction isn't it? I don't think we are ready to swing yet or anything... but I'm ready to escalate our fantasizing to a new level... any suggestions? I'm very interested to know who or what type of guy she fantasized about, etc.
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We are a very happy couple , I have always been a nudist, nude beaches in Jamaica, and resorts here. I am a home nudist also, never wear clothes at home. My lady is not a nudist but doesn't mind me nude, she hardly notices. I can masturbate and she loves watching. My question is are there any other couples here that are in the same situation? Thanks for all replies! -
TLDR: She's in lifestyle only because she likes pleasing her husband and fulfilling his desires. Background: We got married out of high school, both virgins at the time, and have been together 15 years. Never any infidelity. She's hot as all fuck and we love each other. Sex is great, she and I do everything and fulfill each others fantasies. She wanted us to fuck in a Moon Bounce once, so I rented one and made it happen in the backyard. But I digress. I thought watching her with another man would be hot, and told her that fantasy. She thought me watching her fulfill said fantasy would be a turn on for her and she was curious about other men anyway. So with some good friends, we all talked it over and then "took the plunge", so to speak, by going away for a weekend together, sharing a room, and swapping. First time for all of us and it was great. I was right, I loved watching her. And of course, I enjoyed playing with my buddy's wife. It was awesome, she said it was awesome, friends said it was awesome and wanted to do more, and we have. But now it seems like the novelty wore off and her curiosity has been satisfied. She says playing is "fine" and she "doesn't mind it at all" and she just wants to "make me happy". I know in my heart of hearts that she truly has no ethical or moral qualms about it and doesn't feel coerced - that's not the issue. She doesn't even care about the other guy or girl, she only cares that I'm enjoying myself; she just cares that she's putting on a "good show" for me - HER WORDS! "If it makes you happy, let's do it" - again, her words! Certainly married people do things for their partners all the time that they may not personally enjoy, but it makes the other so happy that they want to keep doing it - like dishes, vacuuming, watching Titanic, and going anal, but isn't this a little different? Since this epiphany I have put a stop to everything, but damnit, I like the lifestyle and want to continue! And it always LOOKED like she was enjoying things, but apparently it's just an act for my benefit. If we continue to do stuff that she only wants to do because she likes "performing" for me, would that make me a royal d-bag? Help! Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks. -
Hopefully I can get some help here. I am the Male of a couple. We have been to a couple of clubs as a couple, and it is not for her. She tells me if I want to, go alone. I am not sure if she really means that. I really want to play, but do not want to hurt her. Do I just go and not tell her?
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Hey all. Well it seems our swinging life has come to an end. Husband last night comes to me and says "We need to talk." Naturally I am thinking "Uh-oh, kids did something, money is tight or something." Once the kids are in bed, and we settle down at the kitchen table (which is where we have all our discussions) he tells me he doesn't want to swing anymore. I was kinda surprised at this because he always seemed to have fun when we went out to have fun. But I have always said on this board that at any time a spouse wants to stop, then you stop. And I am a firm believer in practicing what you preach...so... I looked at him and said that was okay, we were in this for fun, and if he was no longer having fun then its okay. He asked if I was mad about it, and I chuckled and said "of course not, why would I be? I love you, not the play partners. You matter more than anyone, and if you wanna stop then because I respect you we stop." Or something along those lines. But I did ask him why. I made it very clear I was not asking why to try and find a reason to change his mind. The bottom line is stop means stop and the only reason I was asking was so that I understood why. It helps to know why, I would think. I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't something that was done by me or said. But all I get from him is "just 'cause". We have really opened up lines of communication during this time in our lives and I do not want to see them close just because we have decided to call it quits. But I do not want to pester him and push him to answer a question either. Am I wrong for wanting to know the why's? If I am I guess I will just drop it. And if I am not wrong for wanting to know why, does anyone have any advice on how to approach him now. I am afraid that now if i approach him he might think I am pestering him, and I don't want that either. I just have no idea how to get this in the open. I feel like part of him has just closed up, with no explanations. Anyone else deal with this?
