Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'performance issues'.
Found 15 results
-
Me and my wife have been married for 10 years and have always talked about it, now we finally tried it. We both had a blast even thought things didn't work out so well. The guy we picked for our first threesome ended up being so nervous he couldn't get it up. I left the room and gave him and her about 30 mins. As soon as I came back to the room he went limp again. Me and her started going at it while he watched. He rubbed and kissed on her and she was sucking him but nothing worked. We both kept reassuring him, but he just stayed too nervous I guess. It was such a big turn on for me watching them mess around. He was a really cool guy and would like to give him another chance. We felt comfortable enough with him she is going to his place alone while I'm at work. See if he can get it up, that way maybe next time he will be ok with all of us. Any suggestions, or has this happened to anyone else? Our luck, we finally did it and he couldn't get it up. Haha.
-
I hope to find suggestions and maybe own experiences here, because I'm getting very frustrated. My husband and I are married for 8 years and just opened up 4 months ago, although we were talking for a while. I was the one who wanted to take things slow to see how I will get along with jealousy etc. With jealousy was everything ok and we had 2x MMF, 1xFFM and wanted to try a MMFF yesterday. My husband never ha issues with getting hard and has no problems usually to keep it hard. But in all situations we had so far, he has problems to get hard. First time MMF - nothing. 2nd time worked for a bit, the same with FFM and yesterday, it didn't work at all. We tried yesterady and MMFF with a friend of ours we had the FFM with and another guy my friend and I had met on Sunday. We started with dinner and everything went well. My hubby and this guy were good buddies after a while I asked him how he feels and he said ok and gave his go to start. Everything was fine then, but he just couldn't get hard. He went down on me etc., I tried - nothing. Then with each minute he got more and more frustrated because we all were ready and wanted to fuck, but he couldn't. He said I could go and enjoy myself but I saw that he would be hurt and that he didn't really want it. So I didn't play with my friends, although I was super horny. He said he would feel like a looser when he would see how I play but he couldn't get it up. He rationally understands it and has not a problem to watch me with another man, but in this situ he would. The problem was it was at our place, so we couldn't just walk away. He got just very passive and didn't really wanted to continue at least to kiss or stroking etc. I already suggested to play seperately although I could have never imagine it so far, but he doesn't want to. I think its an confidence issue because he thinks he has an average penis which is not good enough compared to the guys we played with. Also he didn't had that many experiences with other woman before he met me to collect the experience that his cock is enough and pleasure bringing... And of course with every fail, he gets more and more frustrated so when we try next time he'll have even more pressure and probably won't get it up too. I feel so bad for him. We tried also the blue pill already, but it didn't work, cause you need to start to get hard and then the erection stays. No I don't know what to do and what else to try. I'm so afraid of the next situation when its like this. It just feels very uncomfortable for each of us. We could try more FFM, but I'm afraid he'll have the same problem, and it would make it harder for my comfort, not engange with another man while he is engaging with the other female. An FFM is not the same for me cause I don't think I'm bi. I'm still exploring and its fun, but not the same as playing with men. Does anyone has suggestions, recommendations and whatever? -
I was going to post this in the thread about how much Viagra / Cialis to take, but it seemed it should have it's own thread. I've tried both Viagra and Cialis. I don't know if I'm not taking enough or what, but I can't really tell for sure when it is or isn't making a difference. I know my problem is 100% in my head since I never ever have a problem with my wife or this one other girl I've seen regularly... but I have somewhat often had problems blowing a flat with a bunch of girls a few minutes into swapping, especially while changing positions. My biggest frustration: NOT KNOWING THE REASON!!! I mean, there is no commonality between when it does and doesn't happen. It isn't the specific girls, or places, or situations, or anything. It seems totally random. I'll have no problem with a girl, then a problem another night, then no problem again... same girl, same situation, etc. Hell, for all I know it could just be the food I'm eating beforehand? This one girl lately, we've seen her 3 times in the last couple of months. There's nothing extra good or bad about her... nothing that would intimidate me because she's so hot, or turn me off because she's not hot. Unfortunately, every time I've been with her I've blown a flat a few minutes in. 2nd time with her I took some meds and it didn't seem to make a difference. 3rd time I doubled up and I STILL had a problem in the beginning... but at least it seemed to kick in later since I was able to fuck her multiple times that night. I took them 1.5 hours before, so I figured that would have been plenty of time for them to work, no? WHAT THE HELL!?!? Ideally I'd like to find the common factor between all these times I can't get or keep it up. Again, I know it's 100% in my head, and only happens once in a while... I just can't figure it out the cause! Independent of finding the root cause, I sure wish I could determine why it seems that sometimes the pills work and sometimes they don't. Hell, I even wonder if sometimes when I take the pills and I don't have problems... if I could have skipped the pill and still not had a problem!? Am I the only one that's having these issues? Why can't I just figure out why I can't keep it hard sometimes? Why isn't it more black / white that the pills are or aren't working? I mean, shouldn't it be: I take them and 60 minutes later I can get a boner and keep it super easily?
-
I've run into a few situations where I couldn't keep it up. I have had no idea if it was mental, physical, or some combination of factors. It seems there is no consistency to when and where it happens. Some times I can go and go and go with no problems at all. Other times I hit a flat tire within 10 minutes. The worst time was when I was with a super hot awesome girl and I couldn't keep it up. What's worse, it's happened TWICE with the same girl. I'm about 99% sure it's mental... like I'm actually intimidated by how hot she is and it's messing with my brain which kills the erection. I've thought about popping some pills the next time I'm with her to make sure I don't swing out on the 3rd attempt, but this has got me wondering: Does Viagra / Cialis only deal with plumbing issues or does it also help if someone is having mental issues? For example: Say I can get an erection 100% of the time with my wive, watching videos, etc., but occasionally while swinging I sometimes stumble. It's pretty obvious to me that all the plumbing works, but there's sometimes a problem in the control room. Do these pills help with the control room problem, or are they just tiny little plumbers that keep the system operating, but the control room is still required to start things moving? I guess the bottom line: If I'm the type to overthink things and this causes me to loose an erection, will these pills keep the erection regardless of what I'm thinking about or what's going on in my head? -
Just wondering, how do you feel physically after taking the med? How much time does it take to go into effect? How long does it last? Is there more ejaculate?
-
So, me and the wife are new to swinging. We have soft swapped several times and full swapped (or at least tried to full swap) 4 times. The problem is, I was only able to get hard enough for penetration one of those times, and that was only for a few minutes. Last night was another failure. I just need help finding out what the issue is. I mean, I am completely comfortable with this couple, I am very attracted to her, and I'm totally turned on by watching my wife with them, so it just doesn't make sense to me. I even took cialis last night to make sure everything went smoothly. Not even that could do the trick. Im to the point where I'm embarrassed and wondering if I should even try again. Advice? -
We have been with 10-12 couples and more times than not the male half can't get hard. My wife is getting discouraged and has made comments like she is the problem. I've told her that she is not, she is 5'8", 145 lbs., 36DD, very pretty. Just wondering if anybody else seems to run into this? It really puts a damper on things.
-
I'm 35 and appear relatively healthy (minus belly weight), but I am a recently diagnosed diabetic and have difficulty getting and maintaining an erection. This issue is compounded by the fact that while my penis is about 5.5" fully erect it is just 1.5-2" flaccid, leaving not much to work with to start in the first place. I've come to terms with my size and my thoroughly average body shape (not being self-critical, just honest), but I don't know how I can have confidence - let alone actually participate - when my penis is so fickle. Even during sex with my wife, I often have to masturbate myself to get hard, and I have to "use it or lose it" so to speak. And even that doesn't work sometimes. How can I expect to perform with a new partner when nerves and condoms are on top of these other issues? (Viagra, etc, aren't options due to diabetic heart issues.) I am otherwise very interested in the lifestyle, but where does someone like me fit in? I am not into cuckolding or humiliation. People see me and think because I'm a young guy I'll be virile, and instead I'm anything but. I tried a threesome with another couple for the first time last night and it was a total failure. Nerves were certainly a factor as well - I had literally met the couple just 10 minutes beforehand - but I know that nerves aren't the only issue. How does someone like me get pleasure out of the lifestyle without disappointing people constantly or having to explain my penis doesn't work well and asking for patience over, and over, and over again? Honestly, it just makes me sad because I am otherwise eager to get into swinging, if only my penis would cooperate. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. -
Hi there, my hubby and I are quite new to the swinging scene, been doing it for about a month now, have had a few soft swaps and 2 full swaps. At first we thought the problem was to do with condoms, we never use them at home but it is a big must for us while playing with others, so we have been practicing at home with them and now we have kind of mastered them, however when swapping hubby struggles to keep his erection after putting one on. He has tried Viagra...didn't work. We have tried drinking, not drinking, but it always ends the same way, he can just about keep it up to penetrate the woman for a brief time but then loses it, as of yet no other woman has managed to make him cum. I always try to be reassuring for him but I am struggling now to come up with things to try or things to suggest for him to try. I feel like when he has managed to cum with another woman thing will be easier (I could be wrong) but I don't know how he can keep himself hard enough to get that far. He knows I can get him hard again quite easily and quickly so when he know he is going soft on him he comes straight to me to get him going again. Does anyone else have this problem or does anyone have any suggestions to help us get past this? We would hate for our swinging lifestyle to be cut short as other than this problem we really are enjoying it. Thanks for reading.
- 12 replies
-
- 3
-
-
- cock rings
- erectile dysfunction
- (and 3 more)
-
I’m curious as to how to handle an issue of not being able to cum. With my wife I am able cum somewhere between five and ten minutes. When I play with others it seems impossible to achieve orgasm. A condom is definitively part of the problem. When we play with couples we don’t know very well we always use condoms. I don’t think the condom is the real issue though. We have a close play couple that have been our friends for over fifteen years. We full swap with this couple without protection. Even without wearing a condom it takes me upwards of a half hour to cum. Even then, to cum in a half hour I have to fuck hard and I’m not sure she’s enjoying twenty plus minutes of pounding. I don’t know why but I start to feel pressure to wrap things up and that seems to make things worse. My wife and the other guy are done and it seems like everyone is waiting for me to pop. How do I tell our play friends I’d rather not always cum? At first I was thinking yeah, I'm Superman. Now it's stressing me out. Nobody wants to feel stressed when they're playing. I'd prefer to fuck long enough to know we’ve all had fun and then just quit. I’ll finish later with my wife. I don’t want to offend anyone. It’s not her, it’s me… And… why does this not happen with my wife. She can climb on top of me and slowly ride me to orgasm in five minutes???
-
Hey all! This probably isn't the first time that someone has mentioned this, but my wife and I have met a couple and we're on for a second date with them, and it looks like it might take off. However, I'm nervous like crazy. For starters, I've never been with another woman in any capacity EVER except for my wife, so being with another woman that isn't my wife seems crazy and scary, but I'm also excited about it. Honestly, I don't know what to expect the first time around, and I'm almost afraid that I'll be so nervous that I won't be able to "perform" as well as I usually do. Overall, I need some tips on how to handle this situation. What was your first time like when you've never been with anyone else before, ever? P.S. My wife has been with another man before, so she definitely doesn't seem as nervous about it than me! Any help would be appreciated!
-
Should a man having ED declare in advance?
SW_PA_Couple posted a topic in Swinging Situational HELP!
JoAnn has a question that she wants me to pose to the Swingersboard membership. Should a man who has difficulty gaining or maintaining an erection say so before getting into a partner exchange and, if yes, at what stage of a developing acquaintanceship should it be declared? Should it be stated plainly in the the on-line profile? During initial phone conversations? During an initial meeting? At a follow-up meeting? Before making the swap? It is supreme disappointment for her to hear, "Oh, sorry about that. I have diabetes and can't get it up. But don't worry, I'm really good at oral sex." She really does understand that some men cannot or occasional have a problem. But really, it's now three in a row who have announced themselves only after a half-hour of oral sex in a vain attempt to "get it going". She is beginning to think it's her. Help!- 27 replies
-
- 1
-
-
- communication
- disappointing
- (and 2 more)
-
First time swinging and need some help!
SexyWVcouple102 posted a topic in First Swinging Experiences
Hello all, Well yesterday we had our first sexual experience outside of our marriage. It was a mfm threesome and it was great. The guy was hot and my wife really took a liking to him. The only thing is that the guy was way nervous and had some performance anxiety. He was using a condom (wouldn't have it any other way) but could not keep it up at all. He did finally get hard and cum and it was great. The only problem is that the experience was bad for my wife. She left thinking that he couldn't stay hard because he didn't like her. Keep in mind my wife is extremely hot. She is 5'9" 125 Lbs long hair and very long legs. I haven't met a man yet that hasn't wanted to have sex with her so I don't think that was an issue. It has really upset her so that she isn't sure if she wants to continue. Anyone out there with a similar experience that can help out? -
I am very new to all of this, so please be patient with me. My wife and I have only talked about swinging a few times and we are unsure that this is something we would want to do. One of the reasons I would like to experience this is to find out something about myself. My wife and I have been married for 18 years. I have not been with many women, since we married at a young age. I have had some performance issues in the bedroom lately and she has mentioned that I must be getting bored of her. I don't feel like I am, it could be just my age, but truely don't know. I want to try being with someone else to see if there is something to what she is saying. My question is: Is this a bad reason to get into Swinging? I want to clarify to everyone that I am VERY happy with my wife, she is my lover, my best friend, and the mother of my children, but adding a little spice to our life might not be such a bad thing. -
To the men/couples who use ad profiles, how many of you would make the following statement in your profile? He is well endowed with great stamina and no performance problems. I recently read this in a profile and my first thought was the guy's got to be awfully confident in himself. I would think you'd be placing way too much pressure on yourself to perform, and I don't see why a man would place himself under this kind of pressure. I've not played with a man who purports these traits; anyone had the pleasure? What kind of men make these claims? Let me into your world.
