Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'picky'.
Found 11 results
-
I read this quote from Eternally Single in another thread and was like What's that you say? From my own experiences I don't tend to find that as true..... I don't think it can be generalized really as a male or a female thing. Some guys are picky, some aren't, same with the women. I think it's a matter of looking for different traits, too. Some PEOPLE just want to get laid and they, in general, aren't that picky. Others, while they may enjoy the occasional fresh blood of a new F**K, they aren't going to have sex with just anyone and want that initial physical reaction. But that's my opinion, so what's yours? Are guys more picky? Or is it the women? Who's more picky in your relationship?
-
I contacted a couple a couple of weeks ago based on their location, profile, and a picture of the wife. I thought Mr. Sunbuckus would find her attractive and at the time, I really liked how they had worded their profile. We've exchanged emails and all of our correspondence has been friendly and nice. However, it wasn't until last night that we finally got a picture of the husband...and I'm not attracted. I wouldn't mind being friends with them (which is what they are looking for) but I don't know if it would go farther than that. I asked Mr. Sunbuckus about his attraction to the wife and he said, "I could have sex with her." They would like to meet us next weekend but with the lack of attraction, would it be worth our time? Another concern is that since we were the first to contact them, I am not sure if they are attracted to us. The wife claims that the husband doesn't care about looks at all...which kind of makes me wonder if it's really true or if she's just saying that because he saw our pictures and doesn't find me attractive. *throws up hands* In either case, it doesn't really fuel the fire if the male counterpart doesn't find me desirous. What is the deal? And what should we do?
-
My wife and I are very new to this lifestyle. We have only had one experience... involving my wife giving oral pleasure to another man while I watched. Anyway, I am very hooked on the idea of watching her play some more with other men and she is very open to it as well. We have attended a couple of the swinger clubs in Arizona and Las Vegas but left the clubs very discouraged. These clubs seemed to attract older couples and men, many of which are far from fit. The younger men were all non-english speaking hispanics and tended to stalk (my wife prefers anglos and loves the physique of black men). We are a white couple in our early 40's, physically fit and are seeking like-minded and, somewhat, physically fit couples and men. Are we just looking in the wrong places or are our standards unrealistic?
-
So I am trying to find a way to describe me. Apparently I am very picky when it comes to potential playmates. My husband gets a little frustrated because he may see a guy that he thinks that maybe I should be interested in. And then I'm not. He'll say "what are you looking for?" "how do i even pass these standards of yours?" LOL....And honestly I have no set criteria in my head. Do I have turnoffs. YES...Are they the same for everybody. NO..(except for smoking...it's a turnoff to me regardless) All I can say is that something has to click. And it just don't happen. I have chosen 1 guy to join us in a MFM threesome in a year. Is he what I'd call idea. No....He's too skinny and he smokes. But something clicked and I felt comfortable. Here's something else. I have learned that yes, there are many different levels of swingers. There are people out there who in my opinion aren't picky enough. LOL ..Is there such a thing as being "too loose" within the swinger lifestyle? Honestly I wonder if some of these people walk into a party with blinders on. My husband thinks that I am so picky because I am just not into it. That if I was "into it" that I would be open to more people. I just think this......we go to a party to have fun, whether or not we find somebody to "hook up" with is irreverent. I am having sex regardless. LOL...I have my husband that I am more than happy to leave with. If we find somebody...fine...If we don't fine. I am just thankful to get out and be an "adult". We are parents of 2 great boys and we spend most of our time with them without many opportunities to go out without them. So I don't wanna put any kind of pressure on myself to "have" to find anybody? I am just enjoying the environment.
-
Although we are not ultra experienced, my wife and I have had enough experiences to understand that physical attraction had better be present in all parties involved. This in itself is what I would consider a normal and reasonable basic element of swinging, at least the way we look at it. My issue is I have always been extremely picky as far as physical attraction goes. Over the course of my vanilla life I have turned down more sexual opportunities than I have taken simply because I wasn't attracted to the gal at the time. Then I met my gorgeous wife. I understand that I might take some heat for this comment, but please understand that I'm just trying to present an honest and frank issue to you for your honest and frank thoughts. We have trouble finding potential play partners for us who are physically attractive to me. We have had a couple of experiences with couples where the females were by most of society's standards very attractive, however I simply tried to talk myself into the situation only to end up having erection problems, etc. I just wasn't really INTO these ladies. It just ended up not being worth it in those 2 situations. Everything else has been fine. Now we both have to have attraction to personality as well, but sometimes I just feel like I am unfairly picky regarding physical looks. Basically I feel like I am married to the world's most beautiful woman, so why would I settle for someone I'm not crazy about? My wife probably ends up with the short end of the stick here, though, because my finicky taste for women leaves us with few options for play. I don't plan on taking one for the team again whatsoever, but I want my wife and I to have options. We've even talked seriously about separate play to address this situation, but we've had trouble coming to terms on that so it's either together or not at all.
-
Since we've been involved in this lifestyle we've noticed that it seems there are 2 unicorns. It is possible that this 2nd unicorn is only scarce geographically... The widely known single female AND the attractive couple. Seems attractive husbands are hard to come by, I think I would be safe to say that in the 10 years or so we've been going to events and meeting people I have only met 10 attractive husbands. This is a high estimate, I can't actually remember 10 that I can count can only remember 4 off the top of my head but hands down I can recall at the very least 30 very beautiful women. Women that would be beautiful or hot in any lifestyle. The men on the other hand are looked at on a sliding scale based on what else is available in comparison. These aren't men that I would even notice outside of this lifestyle. Wonder if anyone else has noticed this....? Or possibly if this just might only be the case where we live? I've always noticed this and hubby and I have had many talks about it, but this past weekend we went to a party and met a couple that jokingly referred to us as the OTHER unicorn and when we asked them what they meant, they said a couple where BOTH the hubby and wife are hot. Which led me here to bring it up to all of you. We're taking it one step further and saying that it is not just a hot couple that's hard to find, but that hubbies in general in our experience are normally downright ugly, at this point am grateful for average with a good personality and a decent body. Hubby wondered once if we had ever met a hot hubby with an ugly wife and the answer is NO! I think men are more visual and wind up with the best that they can get where as women connect on other levels and can look past appearance but let's be frank here, in this lifestyle I don't love these men (like their wives), so attraction is a must and your hot wife is not your ticket to ride all the rides It is good for me that chemistry isn't solely based on appearance because I have NEVER been with a man that I was immediately physically attracted to besides my husband and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel
-
Hello, I have been reading this forum for a while and it has been enlightening. We are not yet into the lifestyle but still thinking if its right for us or not. Here is my question: There are some discussions on being picky about your partner, but how many people are picky about their SO's partner. For example i've thought about friends we know and thought if i would be ok with my partner having sex with them or not. Do other people do this or do they usually leave it up to their SO to decide who they do or do not want to sleep with? or is it some sort of mutual decision. Thanks
-
We finally got up the nerve to attend our first house party two weeks ago. Before we committed to going I did speak with the host to determine the style of the party as another couple advised me to do. The host explained that it would be pretty much be like a normal party except that bedrooms would be open for people wanting to play. If we didn't want to play but just enjoy the atmosphere that was OK too. So we went. It was kind of strange as we didn't know anyone and of course we were ignorant regarding a certain key ritual (my characterization and more on that later). Most of the people were very nice - a little more so than at a straight party. The hot tub was going but most didn't want to go outside to use it as it was 39 degrees. Then the unwanted happened - some people we knew but would prefer not to showed up. OMG! We managed to deal with that amicably - it was a big house which helped. As a fall back, I told my spouse to call our son on her next smoke break and tell him to call me every 30 minutes so I could have a premise to leave if it got unbearable. Son couldn't be reached so she called our daughter. Daughter tried but the damn cell phone couldn't get a signal in the rec room/basement! Then the aforementioned (unknown to us) ritual started. The host had alluded to lingerie on the phone but the way he explained it I assumed it was for ladies who simply wanted to get more comfortable for activity. What I realized after observing this was that it was the way the ladies signaled the other ladies and guys that playtime was on. The funny thing was that it was more ladies that paired off and went upstairs leaving half dozen guys or so at the bar to talk among themselves! What's wrong with that picture? To be brutally honest, neither of us was attracted to the people anyway as I guess we are very picky and for me, I need to know the person first. At least my spouse had chosen not to bring lingerie and had kept her clothes on so she wasn't transmitting any attraction signals. When it was us six guys and my spouse standing around the bar with less and less to talk about it we pushed the eject button and headed home. Not sure if this is typical but certainly not an experience I would want to repeat unless I already had established friendships with at least some of the attendees. My head is still spinning. Nevertheless, it was fascinating. Just thought you would be entertained at a newbies perspective on what you guys may take for granted. Comments and constructive criticism always welcome.
-
I’ve decided that being picky or ‘selective’ in swinger PC speak really just sucks. We are looking for a certain set of traits in both personality and looks which limits us to only a small subset of swingers, then added to that they have to like us, so when all is said and done we have one maybe out of 20 some emails. Even in a major metropolitan area like we are in, you burn though the available swingers fast. On the flip side we have old friends who are much less selective than we are. They tend to do more, and seem to have more fun in the lifestyle by a good margin. When I've met the couples they have played with, most would not be in our strike zone. Now this isn’t a whine really, we can’t change what is attractive to us. I, the male, am more selective than she is. I’ve never been after perfection but I’m looking for a body type, personality, and education that is hard to find all three in. She is a bit more liberal in her tastes, but even so can be picky in her own right. So where am I going with this? Well out of curiosity and as a discussion topic. Do you think of yourself as picky? Is it the male half of the couple or female half that is the most picky? Do you play with couples who’s other half you wouldn’t date if you were vanilla?
-
Hi! A question for all the guru's . We have done the SLS ad, went to a lifestyle club and been to a few socials. It seems as though we can not find the right couple. Either I am attracted to the female or Jenn is attracted to the male half..but never mutual attraction as of yet. Is this common for newbies or is this a typical scenario? Just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. We have talked about this and both know we are not going to take one for the team. The searching is fun though. Any input or advice will be greatly appreciated. -
Hi everyone, My husband and I have read many stories, adventures, ideas, do's and don'ts on this board and have learned a lot, but after joining a couple of swinger sites, chatting with singles, couples and exchanging pics, even meeting singles and couples, we are about ready to say "enough is enough". My husband "Mikie" and I "Blondie" are best friends and are open with each other sexually. We talk about everything we have done, to everything we fantasize about. I have been with women in my past relationships and even by myself before I met my husband. The experiences that I had by myself with other women were great but when my partner at the time was involved it was always a bad experience, either during or afterward. When I met Mikie I was truthful about the attraction that I have for women but vowed I would never go there again, even if it was okay with Mikie because of my past experiences. Well, after a few years of marriage I finally felt comfortable enough to try to explore that part of my sexuality and I wanted it to involve my husband even if it just meant he watched. He totally was comfortable with that. We did meet a couple that I did have a few encounters with the wife, while both husbands watched and then joined in with their wives. They became a little strange after a while and we broke it off with them. We have met a few other couples since then, but nobody I was interested in being with. We tried the swinging club scene and got stood up! Never been stood up in our life until then. Anyhow, we have become more open about our fantasies and have broadened our boundaries. We have lots of couples and singles that email us they are interested, but either we are not interested or we email them back and let them know we are interested and never hear another word. We feel like we are in high school again, chasing people. I just took all our pics off SDC and put on there that if anyone is truly interested we would send pics. I guess my question is, are we trying to hard? or not hard enough? Sometimes my husband say's that I am too picky, but shouldn't I be? There have been some sites that we have listed that he is curious about other men and we are open to single men, but it seems that we attract guys that just want to be with me or say they are curious and interested and when we respond we don't hear another word. Guess you could say we are just about ready to say "we give up"!!! Help! We are not an unattractive couple at all and just want to explore our sexual fantasies. Advice please?
