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Showing results for tags 'regret'.
Found 12 results
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So yeah I need some advice from you all we have been talking about trying for years and we finally after talking quite a bit about decided to join a local swingersboard. We mostly just chatted with people to begin with and the night was actually pretty normal for the most part like any other night out really. But then we met a couple really nice both me and my husband liked them anyways we chatted for quite awhile and we really hit it off. Me and my husband decided to speak privately for a minute and I asked my husband if he liked her and he said yes she is a very attractive woman and we ended up going with them to a private room. I slept with her husband and it was basiclly a swap I enjoyed myself immensly he was very well endowed and it actually hurt me in the beginning but he was very gentle and did not go crazy. But then after maybe 10 minutes I saw my husband getting really uncomfortable and he put his clothes back on and excused himself. I of course put my clothes on and followed my husband outside and he just said I can't do this he was shaking, I said okay you don't have to we can go right now. He asked me to drive he did not say a word on the 40 minute drive home he was just staring blankely. He has become completely withdrawn he can barely look me in the eye anymore and I feel so lost he looks like he is in such pain and I have no idea what to do he barely talks to me anymore. So need some advice because I feel I have royally messed up and I feel terrible seeing him like this, I was the one who brought up swinging and talked him into it. -
Hey all, Well I need some insight from the ladies. My wife and I have played at a few clubs but just let others watch as I totally respect her boundaries. Each time we went she got so wet when we had sex in front of others but she was still shy looking at people. Well we were talking about if she would feel more comfortable if we chose a guy to watch us in a hotel. Then I asked what about an erotic massage from me and another guy.....she said she thought she could do that. Well last month we took that next step and did the soft swing. We invited another guy to join us in a hotel and gave her an erotic massage. The guy was so respectful and we NEVER got rough. When we flipped her over, she got so wet when both of us gave her oral and fingered her. We made her have the most intense orgasm I've EVER seen her have. She almost fell off the table it was so intense. Then just me and my wife had sex in front of the other guy. Oh, she was blindfolded the entire time and never saw the other guy in order to make her more comfortable and avoid embarrassment. The thing is, after he left and I took off the blindfold she started to cry. I asked her why and she asked why I didn't look at her as a slut now.....WHAT!? I assured her I loved her immensely and I would never see her that way. My question is, she got so wet and into it but cried after.....do you think she felt guilty for enjoying it so much? Or do you think it was too much for her? I try and talk with her but it seems like she's scared to talk. I guess I'm confused.....did any of you feel that way after the first time? I'm hoping that it's normal.....kind of like loosing your virginity......She said she enjoyed it and wants to do it again in a few months but the crying thing has me concerned. Any advice or how you felt the first time would help......thanks. -
A question for the ladies... did you experience any negative feelings after first time with a male other than your significant partner? Feelings like guilt, shame or regret? If so, how did you reconcile them so you could happily move on and enjoy the lifestyle? I should add... I don’t mean if the sex wasn’t good... assuming it was a great experience.
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I get excited about the thought of watching someone fuck my wife. I’m just afraid that afterwards I won’t like it. Thoughts? -
So my wife and I had our first swinging experience last week. It started off as two couples just having sex in the same room and then we all agreed to swap partners. Knowing my wife’s concerns with jealousy I confirmed probably 7 times that it’s something she wanted to do and was comfortable with it. I know in retrospect this conversation should have happened before. We each had sex with the other couple twice and all was well and good until the next day. My wife is incredibly upset and regrets our decision. I fully support her decision that she does not want to do it again and have made it clear this changes nothing and love her with all of my heart. The helpful thing is we will likely never see this couple again as we met them on vacation in a different state. She struggles with the fact that I am not jealous that she had sex with another guy. In fact I told her it turned me on. I no way is she blaming me or the other couple but she’s really hurting. Any advice? Or do I just continue to let her know I’m here for her and let her go through the grieving process? Thanks.
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Just when I thought I had it figured out, I get myself into a situation that changes my previous thinking. Sunbuckus previously posted a thread here about what is cheating and what is cuckolding and I responded. Well, I may have to change that response, as I encountered a situation that is very similar to the hypothetical situation posed by Sun. I have a single friend with benefits who was introduced to my husband and me through another swinger friend. We played with him twice in a mmf situation but my husband wasn't really into because the friend is not bi. But Mr. A lets me play with him separately if I want and because Mr. A has been away a lot on business the past half a year, I play with the friend...a lot. Although Mr. A never asked, I always let him know ahead of time if I am going to swing without him, whether it's with this friend or with someone else. So Mr. A left town on Saturday, and on Sunday I ran into the friend at Bed Bath and Beyond, of all places. Cutting to the chase, I really missed having sex with the friend that he came home with me (a short 5 min drive) and we had some amazing sex, and in my delirium, I let the friend play without a condom and cum inside me. Everything was so spontaneous, and I felt really bad that I didn't tell Mr. A beforehand, although he has said I can go play with the friend anytime. So I called Mr. A that night and told him everything (he was out of town for business again) . To my relief, Mr. A wasn't angry or upset at all. In fact, he said he was turned on and wanted to watch our next session in person. Even though we do a lot of cuckold roleplay, this surprised me. So now I still feel guilty about that spontaneous get-together even though Mr. A was not upset. A girl just can't win. I don't know if it's cheating in this situation? What do you all think? I am relieved but can't get over my own guilt. And I can't get over that it'd feel very weird for me to have Mr. A in the same room watching the friend and I do our thing. We have been in countless cuckold fantasies but this one just feels different. I am scared how Mr. A would react to it all, since this is not a fantasy he plans out. I told the friend that my husband wants to watch and he's fine with it, so I am the only one having second thoughts. Am I overthinking this? -
Was anyone surprised by how much your reluctant wife loved having sex with another man in front of you for the first time? Did you feel jealous? How did she act toward you after he came in her and left? The next day?
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My gf and I have been together for about 6 years and we are 24 and 25. We had our first experience with someone else fucking her 2 days ago. During the time when they were downstairs we were drinking and having fun. I even thought it was hot to watch her blow someone else for the first time. They went up stairs and had sex. For the past 3 days now I have been feeling like she’s not interested in me and when I go to have sex or intimate with her she kind of shrugs me off. Now I feel as though I am a weak man for allowing another man to have sex with her. And I am feeling more insecure now then ever. I know it may be my ego trying to come to my defense and I have been trying to reassure myself. I still want to be apart of the Lifestyle and she does too but I need some advice. What were emotions you felt the first time your significant other had sex with someone else? How did you move past those emotions & what can you suggest that I do to move past those emotions. Because at the end of the day it was really fun but I’m just incredibly conflicted now. -
Want to thank everyone on here for the wonderful information I have received and read and am working on fixing what I might have messed up. This is my first post but I would love to hear any comments or thoughts on my situation. I apologize as it is quite the long story but I want to make sure all is told. My husband and I have been together 5 years this coming June. For the past year we had been discussing swinging and thought it would spice up our lives that had become so redundant. (his initial idea, then it became my obsession) We had great sex with each other at first while talking about it in bed, and I wanted to take it to the next level. So much so that I joined just about every single swinger website and started talking to many people. I found one particular guy I was really interested in. This man was incredibly well built and very large down below. Just what I thought I wanted. Husband and he spoke for a couple of months and my hubby liked his personality. Well, after beating around the bush another month, I told him I was ready one day and had set it up. I did for that following weekend and we got all the arrangements made with the babysitter, hotels, etc. The man showed up just on time and we had some small talk before it all took off. The act itself for me was amazing. My husband appeared to be enjoying it as well. The man left and the husband and I spent the night at the hotel. I was in pure bliss. I haven't felt like that in as long as I can remember. It wasn't until the drive home I suspected anything was wrong. My husband was extremely quiet and when I would ask a question, it was very short answers. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. It was uncomfortable and I was thinking that would be all we would be talking about. Not one mention of it the whole ride home. When we arrived home, he kissed and played with our children a few minutes then disappeared into his office. I tried to go in and make small talk to just see how he was and if I could get any information out of him and he said it wasn't a good time to talk about that since he was working on a big project. He did not come to bed that night. I awoke the next morning to find him already gone to work and on a Sunday. It was unusual but I figured it was his project he wanted to get done. I left him 3 voice mails over 5 hours before he called me back telling me he would be home late. That has not happened in the 5 years we have been together. I suspected something and so I had my sister watch my children while I went to ask him if he was okay at his office. He was not at his office. I spent over two hours trying to find him before I finally saw his car at the bar. I went in and there he was drunker than I had ever seen him with a pad of paper on the table and a note to me half written telling me he was leaving. I WAS DEVASTATED. I am not sure if it was the alcohol, or the stress he must have been under but he let it all out. He said that the whole experience has left him shattered as a man and he can never look at me the same again. I just sat and listened and cried. He said the sounds I made with this other man, the enjoyment I was having, and the constant obsession I apparently had over doing this has broken his heart and he doesn't feel that he will ever measure up again since he has never seen me so pleasured. He said he thought it was great to talk about at first, but then he got disinterested while I kept on obsessing about it. He was right. I had ignored his comments about taking it slow and just exploring the ideas, and I acted on it before I even really spoke to him about it in detail. At first we were interested in going slow and trying things with couples, then it was lets just see what happens when it happens and I developed it into a single male 3 way without realizing what I had done. He said he just went along with my ideas on it thinking it would eventually get out of my head and once we did try it, it would be done with. I tried to tell him that I was sorry and that he should come home and we could talk about this once he sobered up. He wouldn't. He said he needed some time to think and he already had a hotel room. He said if I loved him like I said I did, I would give him some time. He said this was something that can't be undone in his head and he has to try and figure out how to live with it. It has been two weeks now and he still comes home everyday to see our children and eat dinner with them, but then leaves without even saying so much as bye to me. I am trying to give him his space but I am not sure if I should be doing more to try and get him back. I love him with all my heart and I don't want him to think less of me. Is my marriage broken forever? I asked him to go to therapy and he refuses to even talk to me right now about anything but finances or the children. I have even showed up at the hotel unannounced to see if there was someone else and every time I have, he is there alone with usually a bottle of liquor when before he only drank a couple of drinks per night after dinner. I am honestly worried I have not only destroyed my marriage but have destroyed him as well. Any thoughts or anyone ever heard of experiences like this that worked out? I appreciate any comments. Thank you for listening.
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Alright, so we're fairly new to the swinging scene. I'm curious about those of you who are more experienced or just want to share your own questions/concerns. My questions are: 1) What has been your best experience? 2) Your worst? 3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it? 4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' (
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The two above comments/quote came from another thread about the potential guilt of swinging. It made me curious as to which side of this line most swingers fall on? Would you rather have a little regret for something that you did (and maybe wish you hadn't) or remorse for never having tried it? I know for me there are a lot of things in life I'd love to try and I try to do most of them. However, when it comes to swinging there are two of us involved. I guess my situation is somewhat different since I was able to experience a LOT (if not most) of my swinging related fantasies with my ex. However, even with that there are things that Pet is not comfortable with that I'd be perfectly happy doing again, but I'd rather not REGRET leaving him unhappy. I don't really feel any remorse for lost opportunities because of this, because in the end, I'd have much more remorse if doing something damaged our relationship than I would ever have for not doing something that I wanted to try. For me, it's like all things, you weigh the positives and the negatives and you determine which one you will regret more - doing it or not doing it. When it comes to swinging there are a lot of times where the actual act doesn't really live up to the fantasy. In those cases, there are times where I kinda wish I'd kept it a fantasy. I don't regret doing it, nor do I have remorse for having never done it, but the fantasy was way more fun than the memory. Had the situation turned bad or had it been a situation where Pet wasn't happy and it caused us grief then I would have way more regret for doing it than I'd have remorse for not doing it. Not sure if that all made sense or not. -
Advice needed please on first time experience
TomTom123 posted a topic in First Swinging Experiences
My wife and I love each very much. We've been married for 15 years and have the most incredible sex together. We adore being together and have a wonderful level of communication and care for each other. We'd been speaking about swinging for some time. It was originally my idea, but we talked about it, and she said she wanted to give it a go. So last August, we took the plunge. We went to a swingers club, and within 15 minutes started having sex with each other in the orgy room. It was great. Soon other people joined us, and we were having a good time. Then a couple joined us. The guy started stroking my wife, and she looked at me, and I said fine. The guy's wife started kissing me. It was all going great, although I did feel that the guy was more attracted to my wife than the woman was attracted to me. Then anxiety performance set up. My erection disappeared. I told my wife, and we got dressed and went for a drink. The other couple joined us and we started chatting. I said should we try again, because I really wanted to try a full swap. So we went to another room, and swapped. All was going fine again, until I went inside the other woman and lost my erection again. Then I heard and saw the other guy taking my wife from behind. I went down on the woman and gave her an orgasm, but things were not going great for me. I felt lost and confused. My wife seemed to be really enjoying herself, but then she saw I wasn't going too well, so came back to me. We got dressed again. The club was closing. My wife gave the other guy a big hug, which gave me a small pang of jealousy. We talked a lot that night. She was feeling frustrated because she hadn't had an orgasm. I was feeling ok, until two days later. I woke up and suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of being very upset. Fortunately, we were on holiday together for a week, so we spent all of it talking. We talked, and talked and talked. We also had lots of amazing sex together. I felt very upset for three weeks afterwards. I didn't feel any resentment or anger towards my wife. In fact, I loved her even more than before. But the image of her being taken from behind by the other guy was stuck in my mind. I felt we'd gone way too far, way too fast. Everything else about the evening: having sex in front of others, kissing the others, soft play, felt natural and fun, but the full swap and the loss of erection felt traumatic. Anyway, I got over it in the end and our relationship has become much stronger. We love each other more than ever. She's the most wonderful person in the world. We went back to swingers clubs three times since then and had lots of sex together including some soft play, but no full swaps. However, every few months, the feelings of being upset come back (such as now). I feel fine, then all of a sudden, the thoughts of that evening come back and I feel rotten and regretful. I feel that I went too far, that I stupidly ignored all the warning signs, that I let myself and my wife down by not knowing myself well enough. I feel that I broke every rule in the swinging book, and that had we gone slowly and carefully, things could have been much better. I feel very disappointed with myself. I also wonder whether swinging is for me? I'd love to become a care-free, enthusiastic, active swinger and believe my wife would benefit from this immensely as she's a very sexual person. But should I just forget it all? Has anybody else experienced similar situations? How have you reacted? What have you done to make things better? I didn't think I was the jealous type, but maybe I am? Or maybe our first experience was just too fast?
