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Showing results for tags 'reluctant spouse'.
Found 12 results
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We’ve talked about sharing on and off over the years - I have a recurring fantasy of watching her with someone else (yeah another one of those guys ) - but it’s always been a hard no in her part. That’s fine, it’s a fantasy, and I’m not pushing it. She’s not one to share her fantasies, she claims she doesn’t have any, but on a rare occasion she’ll drop a shocker on me - like where did that come from? The latest, more surprising than shocking, was about wanting to go to a club where there are sexy dancers to watch - “like a strip club?” I asked? “No, No just sexy not trashy - think gogo not stripper”. Ok, but she goes on and describes that the club also has private back rooms where the couple can get intimate with each other. “I think you just described a swingers club”. “Eww no, not that, just a place to dance sensually with each other then have sex” - “you can do exactly that at a swingers club, you don’t need to swing” - “hmmm....” Further discussions had mixed results depending on state of arousal but any mention of swinging is met with “eww, no!”. I know I shouldn’t be asking an Internet forum what my wife is thinking but can any of you relate to this (from either end) and offer any advice or thoughts? I know the main advice will to talk to her but I don’t want to press it hard or seem obsessed. Her philosophy with the kids is raise an issue or drop an idea then give them time to process and come around rather than force it and risk them shutting down. It usually works with her too...
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Hi everyone - we are a couple in our early 50's, not in the lifestyle - although I'd like to be. My wife and I have talked about various fantasies, and she is not necessarily turned off by the idea of swinging, but as of yet she is unwilling to go there. (And I am ok with that - I'm not pressuring her at all). She is, however, into flashing. Specifically when we travel, she'll do a strip tease in front of our hotel window, and we'll end up having sex in front of the window and talking about people that may be watching. This is VERY enjoyable for me, and I am not complaining at all, but I'm also confused about why she would be unwilling to go to a swing club and do the same thing, or even take the next step and have someone join us. To me it seems like a logical connection, but obviously I am missing something. To all those with experience - is flashing like that a "first step?" Like the gateway to something more? Or is it just her kink, and that's that. Just curious if anyone else has flashing experience that has led to something else. Thank you! -
Hello everyone. This is my first post and I hope to get my first experience. My wife and I have a good communication and a good sex life and from maybe 3 years ago she told me that she dreamed that she get fucked from three guys and she really like it and don't want to wake up. It turns me on and I had an amazing sex that day and from time to time I remind her with that dream. To see her talking about having sex with someone not me, it is really driving me crazy and in return I told her about that experience (which didn't happen) with 2 ladies before we got married just to see her reaction. It was ok, she was curious to know the story in detail and one time we talked about the swinging idea and she told me that when she was younger her boyfriend asked her to have some fun with another couple and she said ok but as she said she wasn't planning to do, just some talk and she didn't want to with him. However, now I want to start talking with her to do it and I don't know how to start or to ask her. Now we have 3 kids and she is more religious. Actually, I'm confused and need advice and suggestions from you. Thanks.
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We are relative newbies, posted previously on wife's potential negative feelings after swinging and got many great responses. We have played a couple times with two other couples, kinda soft swap, I have received oral from the other woman but my wife was not quite ready to do the same for other man... they knew this before we started playing so all was cool and we all had a great night. Wife enjoyed our swinging experience each time with no issues too. We are off to a swinger club in a few weeks and we are happy to hook up and play with another couple and have fun, we have talked about my wife potentiality giving oral to another man, I tell her that it would be a turn on for me and she is struggling to understand that at the moment and she is unsure if she will feel comfortable to perform it on another man, that if she does cross that line she feels she might only do it if he wears a condom. I wonder have other women felt the same at their early days of swinging when it came to giving oral on another man and if ye had any advice for her on your first experiences of giving oral that might set her at ease and make her feel comfortable that it is ok to get turned on by seeing your wife with another man... Also how weird would it be asking the other guy to wear a condom if that was her request? Thanks in advance for replies.
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About two years ago my husband mentioned he wanted to watch me get fucked by somebody else. Over the past year he has been pushing it on me every day, and he gets so turned on even thinking about another man fucking me. He sends me pics he has found on the net to make me get more and more into it. My question is, am I in the right place? I'm starting to get more and more into the thought of it. But I'm not sure where to start. The only thing is, I don't want him being sexual with other people. Is there a place in swinging for someone like me?
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I am a female(23) who has always been very open with my boyfriend with my fantasies. I love watching gangbang porn with one girl and multiple guys and he loves watching double/triple penetration porn with one girl. Our ideas sort of meshed into a 3 way with his best friend. His best friend is currently in a relationship and has explained he has cheated on his girlfriend before and doesn't plan on the relationship lasting. But being the woman I still retract from involving him unless he's free, for my peace of mind. I just get this gut feeling like I would hurt another person even though he's already hurt her before I feel like I don't want to be involved into any drama that would come out of it. We got close to doing stuff one night but my gut feeling was popping in saying I shouldn't be doing this. I escaped to the bathroom and thought it out leaving both guys hanging. The other guy says it's his decision to cheat and I shouldn't worry about his problems. Should I just ignore his problems? I also feel like I'm cheating even though my boyfriend was the one who pressured me into the first situation. He thinks its really hot and i could tell by his flexing and firm head he was totally into, but i still feel bad and keep changing my mind about wanting to do it.
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Hi Everyone, It's been a while since I have been to the board and posted, so I guess I'm still a 'newbie'. Anyways, for about 4 years now my husband and I have talked about the idea of polyamory. We haven't done much per say in the aspect of living the lifestyle, but have definitely felt that it is something that we want to pursue! I did have a post about 2 years ago about kissing a girl and thought that she would be open to the idea because she had become such a good friend and was practically part of the family, but that didn't work out the way we hoped. Although we have remained good friends Well, since we started talking about it 4 years ago, my husband has been into the idea of us both being with a woman - which guy hasn't??? When I brought up the idea of a guy, I got a flat out "no". Lately, we have been talking about it and he said that if I wanted to be with a guy, I could, but he did not want any part of it, didn't want to see the guy, know anything about it, and that basically, I would have to have that be a 'separate' life. Communication is the most important thing and I told him that I wasn't trying to push him to say it's O.K for me to be with someone else, I did, however, want to understand where he is coming from. I like the idea of being with another woman, not only sexually, but to emotionally connect with and possibly even become a family. I also like the idea if it were a man. I understand that sexually he would be more compatible/comfortable with a woman because we would all three of us would be physically involved. And with another man, it wouldn't be that way, but to me, that's not the most important thing. I'm sorry, even in my writing, I'm confused I get where he is coming from in the physical sense, but I think where I'm getting confused is the part where he says that it has to be a complete separate life. He said to me that he wouldn't want me to say "I think you two would be good friends". Why? I don't understand why he couldn't have a civil relationship with another guy. He wanted to talk some more and asked me if that was something I wanted, to be with another man. I was a virgin when I met him and I told him that I have thought about it because he has been the only one I have been with, but I would not feel comfortable going out with someone if I felt that he just said it was fine because of that! He has told me that he wouldn't feel like he could be with another woman if I wasn't involved. Like I said before, we think that we would be more comfortable having emotional connections, which makes me think that he is just giving me the go-ahead because I have only been with him sexually. I hope I have given enough information for you to give me your opinions and thoughts on this, because that's what I am asking for! Over the past couple of days, I have been reading the boards over and over and I definitely appreciate the advice you have given others... Indulge -
My wife is really uptight about her sexuality to the point where it hinders even are regular sex life. Any suggestions on how to open her up? I am interested in a swinger type lifestyle. She isn't totally opposed to it, like she doesn't straight up tell me no way in hell when I mention a threesome, but she is not emotionally ready for one because of her uptightness. The other night was the first time she was even willing to put on a show for me and masturbate after 2 and a half years of marriage. She is uptight enough that she has a hard time getting wet because she is too worried about how she is whether I'm enjoying myself etc. etc. How do I get her to open up and more sexual? -
Hi All! I'd like to present a situation that maybe you guys would have some advice or words of wisdom on. My husband and I joined the wonderful, crazy world of swinging a little over 2 years ago. While we have had several playmates, one couple really stood out for us. They were more than just sex partners, they were people that we became real friends with. We got together as couples and even several occasions with our kids. They've been to our kids' birthday parties and vice versa. We stopped swinging with them when they started having some relationship problems towards the end of 2007, and haven't been sexual with them since. Now they have been separated for two months and things aren't looking great for them. So here is where the issue I would like advice on comes into play.... While the wife of this couple and I have stayed friendly acquaintances, the guy of the other couple and I have become really, really great friends. From the start, we just clicked like two old friends who had known each other forever, and the sexual chemistry that we had was incredible. When we all first started chatting (we met them on a swinger's website) it was a daily thing for almost a month before our schedules would allow us to meet in person. Between the phone and the chats on the computer (which mostly happened between him and I) the friendship grew quickly. At the time, I didn't realize that this could possibly ever become more than the two of us just finding the perfect swinging partners. Anyhow, to make a long story short, after quite a while of the two of us being in big time denial that we were feeling anything other than sexual chemistry and great friendship, we realized that we both felt deeper than that for each other. After coming to that realization, the two of us have been very careful to keep our feelings for each other in check and to not cross any lines. After I realized exactly what I was feeling, I gathered up the courage to tell my husband that I was having feelings for this guy (We had said back when we first started that if feelings ever developed then we would cut things off with the couple so I was soooo worried that I would have to cut contact). While his original reaction was hurt and anger, once he got over those first feelings, we had many, many, many discussions on what it would be like to bring someone else into our relationship. While we knew that it would not happen with this guy because he was married and his wife was no longer even comfortable with him having a sexual attraction to me or any other woman (a result of their rocky marriage, I'm sure, as her and I still stayed acquaintances), we still discussed how this would play out in our relationship between each other. We kinda left it as we would leave ourselves open to this, dealing with things as they would come up and make decisions based on how things played out and felt at the time. Here's the problem now. Now that he and his wife are separated, and may be making their way to a divorce, the possibility for him to play some other role in my life besides just a great friend is there. I know that the feelings we have for each other could quickly resurface. And I'm well aware of the fact that he could get back together with his wife and that this could not be a possibility. But part of me is excited about that possibility of being able to have him as a playmate again. However, now that we are faced with the very real possibility that someone else could become part of our life as something more than just a playmate, my husband is having to work through some big fears. He says that he cannot help but worry that this will affect our marriage in a bad way. He also is having some insecurities, like what if she likes him better than she likes me. I think some of this comes from him not having a complete understanding of how I could possibly love more than one person at a time in a romantic love kinda way. I've explained it all to him as best as I can, and I think he is understanding it all a bit more now. He is still open to all of the possibilities in this, but we have just decided to start with baby steps to it all. I was just curious if you guys had any advice for me on how to help him along in this process. Is there a really great way for me to explain to him how loving more is a very real thing? Is there a way for me to help ease his worries about it all? I really hate him feeling insecure or jealous in anyway. I hate seeing him fret over this. Especially when I know that through this all, my love for him has not changed, lessened, or disappeared, even though my love for this other man has grown. So any advice any of you may have that you have experienced that has worked for you would be appreciated!! Much thanks in advance & love to you all for your responses!!! -
I need help with this subject, also with being scared of getting hurt. Me and my partner want swinging to happen so bad. He actually has done this before in the past, I have not. He states it should be someone that we know or a friend, but when I think about it I think I might be jealous of this person afterward. Also I am scared of what if I see him touch her in a passionate way that he has not done to me, or just seeing something that is done that is not done to me, what if it looks as if that person's pussy feels way better than mine does to him? What if a female that we do this with wants more and more? What if she just wants him? What if she starts doing flirty things with him like the everyday flirting we do together as a couple? I am so scared that these things will happen and I will feel so hurt. What do I do, how do I stop feeling this way? -
Hello, this is the wife half of Two Little Birds. My husband is mostly interested in swinging. Either with a couple or having a threesome, etc... I'd like eventually to consider an open relationship...one in which I could have a lover but he isn't necessarily there. Do others here have experience with that? And if either way, what is your opinion on that. -
My wife and I are in our 60's. She has never had sex with another man and is some what reluctant to swing. So my question is: do you all think it would be alright to get together with a swinging couple and do some drinking in the hopes that it will give my wife the courage to try another man?
