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Showing results for tags 'responding to ads'.
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We got a message from a guy yesterday on one of the sites we are on that said “ I could fuck it I am in town for the day”. Open his profile and there is next to nothing on it and just the usual cock pic. Normally I just ignore these kind of idiots, but instead I replied “ we will take a pass. There is nothing about your profile that is appealing and we have real lives and don’t just drop everything to hook up with random people we know nothing about”. His response was “ well this is a swingers site after all”. Which made me realize that many people seem to think that if people are swingers they will fuck anybody and everybody. This misconception is about the furthest thing from the truth for us anyways. It does help explain why so many people including some couples out there think they can put absolutely no effort into their profiles, themselves or talking to people and people will just be desperate to have sex with them. Our experience is that swingers are not just sex fiends that fuck anyone that is available. At least not the ones that we would be interested in. If anything we are even more selective, because there are so many options out there.
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How do you respond to a message that just says Hey or do you respond at all?
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We usually just say we are not a match. So as to not hurt anyone’s feelings. We’ve received quite a few of their husband would do our wife, but their wife is not interested in our husband. Ouch! Lately, some people just don’t respond. I used to think this was rude, but it hurts less than a rejection. Thoughts? Can’t be a snowflake in swinging?
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We always politely say no when a couple we aren't interested in messages us. A lot of our messages go unanswered. What is the general opinion...don't respond or nicely say no thank you?
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Just a question regarding couples that contact you on sites like AFF, if you are not interested in the couple, do you have a polite way of saying no? Yes, a lot I ignore, but if it's a couple that you see locally... Nice people, but I not interested in the female. I don't really want to say why... now we are polite people.. good old country folks. Just wonder if anyone had any ideas... sorry, if this is a stupid question.
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What different reactions have you gotten from you partner when things don't do as planned. Or as they change the plans and then expect you to read the signs.
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Ok, so last night we got a response back from a couple we had originally contacted in July. The fact that it took them over 3 months to reply didn't bother us really (we realize things happen, people get sidetracked, messages get lost, etc), what annoyed us was the response that they did send. Our initial contact to them was of our usual first contact variety -something along the lines of "we saw your profile and we liked it, please take a look at ours and let us know if you'd like to meet sometime for dinner or drinks" with a question thrown in to personalize the message - (they had mentioned that they were members of a local social so we asked which one they were members of). The response: "dave here who is there" (name changed to protect the guilty). So what does this response say to us? First thought - it took you 3 months to respond and that's all you give us? Second thought - ok, so it's the guy and his wife has no idea that they even have an ad on this site. I went back and looked at their profile and they are an attractive couple... but now I can't get past the idea that it's probably just the guy and his wife has no idea. So this occurance inspired an idea for a thread.... a topic that in some way or another seems to come up pretty often, but I thought it might be interesting to get some of these in one thread. Give an example of a bad response you've gotten and what it made you think or want to respond back to them with.
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Hubby is overweight. He is 6'3" and about 280#. He said last night I would have a better chance swinging without him which I am not interested in. I am bi-curious. I have responded to 3 ads on lifestyles and no one has wrote back. Do we have to have paid membership to get messages?
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The Age Old... why haven't they replied?
JustAskJulie posted a topic in Finding People to Swing With
This is a specific example of a general issue. All those cases of people wondering why someone hasn't responded to their message yet... I have to wonder if some of them aren't cases similar to what we are experiencing below (we are the ones who haven't responded yet). Ok, so we have this message in our inbox on SLS and it's been there for a couple of days. We know it's there and we've read it through our mail history (but haven't actually opened it). We've been on there quite a few times, so why is it we haven't opened it? Because this is like the 10th email on SLS from this couple, the first came in about a week and a half ago. They live 90+ miles away so it's not like we get a lot of opportunities to meet them. They contacted us FIRST and now it's like they want to have this online friendship or something, which is all great. But I'm just not in for talking about all the details of YOUR day with someone I don't really know and haven't met and may or may not meet. We visit the area where they live quite often (Nashville) and we might meet them at some point if they get out to Menages... So anyway, I was looking at this message sitting there for the 7th or so time and thinking.... I wonder if the people on the other side of this message are the same ones we see posting here asking "why haven't they responded?". It's not that we won't respond, we will. But hell, as soon as we respond they will respond again and I just don't have the time to keep that conversation going, let alone the interest (yet). And to be honest, the constant back and forth is tiring and is (if anything) making me lose interest in them rather than building it. So, we wait a few days in between responses, to cut down on the number of responses we have to give. -
Reading Mrs. O's "Is it just me?" thread got me to thinking about how I have a tendency to purposely not respond immediately to an email that I receive. If I'm online when the email comes in I won't immediately respond to it (unless it's an urgent email in need of action) simply because I don't want the person on the other end to turn around and assume "oh she's online we can have a conversation now" and then write me back expecting me to turn around and do the same again (this could go on for hours). I wonder if this isn't what happens tho when we are answering ads and such. Couple A: Reads an ad for a couple they are interested in and sends and email Couple B: receives email (whenever) and responds. It just so happens that when Couple B responded Couple A was online so they figured that if they wrote back immediately Couple B would still be online and they could talk some more. Couple B, however, signed off line right after answering their email. Couple A, not knowing that Couple B signed off, wonders why their new friends haven't responded already. I had a point... but now I have no idea what it is...lol. SO, I'll ask a question or two. How long between emails do you usually wait to respond? How long do you wait before wondering why someone hasn't responded to you? How long do you give them before you start thinking they are blowing you off? And at what point (if any) do you write them again asking if they got your last email? And on the opposite end of that, at what point of opening your email and seeing more than one email from the same person do you get creeped out and start feeling a little pressured?
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