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I wrote a nice long trip review that I accidentally deleted so here's the highlights. We are a mid 40s couple that has never been to a Desire property. We have been to Caliente twice for a weekend but do not swap and our experiences have been limited to some voyeurism and minor public sex stuff. First off, the rave reviews about the staff being excellent and outstanding are all true. The staff makes the resort the world class place it is! We didn't communicate with anyone in advance and showed up blind. That's a personal choice but I think making an effort to connect with people that might be there the same time you might improve your stay. If it's your first time, or you don't feel comfortable doing that then it's no big deal. All the other guests are very friendly and it's easy to strike up a conversation with anyone! Cons: More bartenders would have been nice. Not a big deal but those poor guys and girls were overwhelmed. At night on Saturday trying to get a pizza outside the lobby at the bar took about 25-35 minutes. On the plus side it does give you more time to talk to people. Perhaps having staff periodically come in and clean and pick up the play room would have been nice. Remove empty cups and so forth. Pros: Everything Staff is the best I have ever dealt with anywhere in the entire world bar none. The grounds and rooms are very clean. The nightly entertainment is amazing and I would say don't miss it. Performances were behind the lobby. I didn't see if the times were posted but we might have missed it. Other stuff: The people at Desire make the experience. Hands down. I (m) am introverted and have a tough time making conversation. I go from “oh what do you do for a living,” straight to “what's your deepest darkest fear and secret?” There is no subtlety or tact. My wife, on the other hand can converse with anyone and strike up a conversation. I can't get over how nice, and friendly everyone was! You could strike up a conversation with anyone or everyone male or female. It was like the other guests took a real effort to be outgoing and make you feel comfortable. The best part of the vacation for me was the people. Just nice genuine people. And there's naked people. You think people watching clothed people was fun, try taking their clothes off! Since everyone was there with a spouse or partner no one was trying to prove anything. No one was taking a vacation here for their kids or under a rushed schedule to see things. People were there to enjoy their loved one and maybe have some sex. Or a lot of sex. We had boudour photographs taken by Provoke Photography. It was expensive but I highly recommend it. We had never done anything like that before and they do a great job. I would definitely recommend using them for hair and make up. Three young ladies came in performed hair and make up like a formula one pit crew. My wife's hair and make up looked great. Definitely worth the money! Our photographer did an outstanding job of making us feel comfortable and look good! For men the recommendation was a pair of pants and a dark shirt (we were keeping our photo shoot pretty tame). If you have any requests during the photoshoot don't be shy and ask. Everyone was very accommodating. Several hours after the photoshoot we had an appointment and selected our final photographs. It would have been nice to have more time to look at the photos but it seems like they were on a tight schedule that day. Totally recommend Provoke! We also booked an erotic couples massage for two couples (so four masseuses). I contacted Desire in advance and booked it for our last full day there. I thought that if we found a couple we liked we could invite them to join us or we could just have two masseuses each. We ended up each having two masseuses each. It was totally worth every penny, and it was just a great experience. The difference between having one and two people giving you a massage is exponentially greater than you might think. We spent most of our nights dancing in the nightclub and used the playroom twice. In the future I would bring as large of a beach towel as I had with me to the playroom and the vinyl seats didn't have sheets and the provided towels were normal size. Just having your own large towel to put down is nice. We went to the nightclub almost every night. I was worried based on other reviews that there would be a lot of latin music. I LOVE 90s music and I am very happy to say that music was spot on and it was a mix from 80s and 90s music up to modern songs! I think Desire Management heard the criticism and updated their music. I don't know if there was a live DJ or not (when there's naked topless women I get distracted). This was honestly one of my fears, that the music would be subpar but it was outstanding and had everyone on the dance floor! I have zero rhythm but we danced the night away! We dressed for all the theme nights. You can just barely match the theme and do just fine though. We were only there a few days and felt like there was always something on the schedule (foam party, massage, photo shoot, covid test). In the future I would do 7 or 8 days but I would still schedule all the same things. We didn't catch everyone's name unfortunately but had great help from: Cesar for checking us in Rafael our butler took care of anything we needed I flagged down Victor in the middle of the night for four problems at once and he was an absolute superstar! That was the review that is vanilla. We had two other things to mention. The erotic massage. It was hilarious. This was out first time at somewhere so....thorough? I didn't want my wife to feel uncomfortable and take things to far. We talked about it and decided to make it a non sexual massage. They give you a form before the massage and there's a diagram of the human body and you mark where you don't want to be touched. Or where you do want to be touched? Ah fuck, I didn't listen to the instructions. I put a large "X" over my crotch. Does that mean they will touch it? Or will they understand the "X" means don't? Just to clarify I go to the lady at the desk and tell her, just a regular massage is fine. "You have an erotic massage, yes?" She is super friendly and looking at me like I'm an idiot. I'm not sure if she was confused but I was relieved that everything was taken care of. "Yes, but just a regular massage is fine, a normal one." My wife was next to me. Whew, glad that is clarified so we are on the same page. The nice lady at the front desk smiles and says "ok." We are taken to a nice locker room where we lock up our items, shower, and then are escorted to a hot tub with champagne and flower petals in the tub. Then we get taken in for our massage. Two women for each of us. We get the massage and two masseuses are doing a great job. Then they do your legs and thighs and then they do the...THEY DIDN'T GET THE MEMO! At this point I made a legitimate effort and my conscious is clear. They definitely handled my equipment with great skill. They give the massage and then towards the end they stand my up and guide me over to my wife at her massage table. We are covered in wonderful massage oils and are both pretty worked up at this point. Imagine having sex with your wife but you have a cheer leading section ready to step in and give a hand. It was that amazing. The women massesues knew their business! They were skilled! Once I was over with my wife we had intercourse, and it was like having four sets of hands helping you. One was pushing on the small of my back (lol, maybe she thought I needed better rhythm?). Another was running her hands across our bodies and applying a very nice massage oil. I grabbed ahold and sucked on one of my wife's nipples. A few minutes later one of the ladies grabbed my wife's breast and made sure it was in the right position to be sucked but putting right in front of my mouth! Team work makes the dream work. I made a conscious effort to not finish during the massage, and also not when I was on the other massage table with my wife. I wasn't sure what the protocol was and I really like to get my wife off first! We immediately went back to our room hot and heavy! One night we went up to the Hot tub. As we were walking upstairs a couple was walking downstairs and complained there was no one even up there. We figured, roof top hot tub to ourselves? That doesn't seem bad. We go up there and there we no other guests. Also no bartender. Anywhere. Oh well, so we get in the hot tub and about 2 minutes later a group of about 10 people show up. Naked and having fun. They see there is no bartender. So the women start ordering drinks, and this magnificent bastard goes behind the bar naked as a jay bird and starts mixing drinks with the alcohol behind the bar. The man was the hero we needed. He asked "please no complicated drinks." He kept this up for 15 minutes! We figure since it's all inclusive it's certainly not stealing and if you don't want your guests pouring the drinks your job to keep the bar tender there. After a long time and a lot of laughs the bartender shows back up from somewhere and gets to making drinks. He didn't say anything, probably because he could get in trouble, and we didn't say anything because it was hilarious. Here's to you naked guy with a wide brimmed straw hat! Best drinks ever! If you have any questions feel free to ask! Sdc: Slycat8

We just returned from our stay at Hedonism 2 in Jamaica and the worst part of it was having to leave. I wanted to thank everyone here and those that left reviews elsewhere for your recommendation. We were NOT disappointed. While many people are in different stages of the lifestyle with different interests, I wanted to provide my feedback to help them decide or provide some insight for those just getting started in the lifestyle. The facility was laid out very well, while they have a nude side and a prude side, either side is perfectly fine to choose and it is a very short walk should you choose to explore. The so called prude side, housing and beach, is the perfect place to spend the morning recovering from the night before or simply hang out in a quiet place for peaceful morning, relaxation and enjoy a more private intimate moment with your spouse or simply open a book to read. Clothing is optional, so do expect to see both nude, partially nude and fully clothed people. The Nude side, is the perfect place for party time, anything goes to the wildest and most open forms in sexual interaction. The best way to describe the beach is 0 to 10. You can choose to be totally isolated at the very end of the beach where it starts on the border to the next resort and can walk down to the other end which ends up being a non stop 24/7 party! You can basically walk along (a short easy walk) and choose to stay wherever you like. While being nude is required for this side, you can still expect to see some people with some sort of covering, sheer/lace, hat even a sarong. Logistics: The Food is delicious, all kinds of food available for just about every taste, the staff is also familiar to help you with any food allergies and sensitivities. Don't hesitate to ask should you have some concerns regarding the ingredients, the staff is very friendly and happy to get any questions answered. On one occasion, (Asian Food Night) the chef came out personally went over which dishes contained gluten and pointed out what was safe. I stopped him half way through because there was more than enough to eat. Plates, Silverware, Napkins were all very clean, staff visited the table often to top off drinks and take away any plates. The Bars were fully stocked, the drinks were properly mixed and no sense of being watered down or weak like we saw at other resorts. If you want an extra strong drink, they were happy to oblige but the standard drink was as you would expect. While they didn't have bottled water, you are given a reusable container with plenty of fill stations. The refill stations throughout the resort are triple filtered with UV to provide safe clean drinking water. The water was clean, odorless and tasted as you would expect from bottled water. The pools were clean and open to everyone, most of which are clothing optional with the exception of the one group of pools at the end of the nude side which was nude only. While there are several small pools through the resort, it was no trouble to find one that you can enjoy alone time with your mate. Same would go for hot tubs, plenty to choose from, private and open both nude and clothing optional. The nude side has a row of pools, semi warm one with a swim up bar, snack bar, wading pool (warm), waterfall that is a fence for a more private cave, large open hot pool, large cold pool and a smaller hot tub which is very warm. All of which are connected and easy to jump from pool to pool. Nude Side: - Do expect 99% to be Nude - Do expect to view open sexual activity, everywhere, on the beach, on the deck, around the pool, in the pool, on the floating dock, in the water, on the sand...... everywhere but inside the restaurants. Maintenance: While some did frown upon one pool or one room being closed as a given time, this is a good thing to be honest. The resort is basically a 24/7 establishment, there has to be a time where they perform maintenance and not every single room can be open 100% of the time. The resort is working hard to keep the property updated and clean, the closing of some rooms and pools should be expected. Nobody wants to go to a 'run down' resort. They are very conscious to maximize up time. For example, when we arrived the "Kamasutra Palace" was closed, we were a little upset at the moment but we saw that it was being repainted, new lighting fixtures being installed, floors being refinished and the whole building inside and outside being pressure washed. The next day, we went to find the other play room, just to find it closed but a sign hanging stating that the Kamasutra Palace was reopened and taking the place of the second play room. The same maintenance was going on there at the time. So there was always a play room open and while closing of any room sucks, it is nice to know they are keeping the buildings maintained and clean. We saw two pools closed during our stay which was no big deal as there were still many to choose from. I was surprised that they drained one pool, scrubbed, painted, made repairs and was refilled and back in operation within 48 hours. I've seen pools closed for weeks at hotels to make these types of repairs. I saw their crew out there in the dark working until it was reopened. Rooms: While the rooms were nice they were a little 'dated', wondering if they would be renovated anytime soon..... We then noticed 4 rooms with work crews gutting them for renovation, so do expect to see a new look on the other rooms the future Our room had one small issue, a drip of condensation from the A/C Unit, before we can even make a report, the maid noticed it and automatically contacted the A/C Repair Folks, they were in there during the daily cleaning and had it fixed in about 20 minutes. Beaches: The beaches were cleaned daily of leaves and debris but no real trash was ever noticed. The beaches and water were very clean, plenty of towels stocked, plenty of seating and hammocks to relax in. Some of the rooms also had private hot tubs on the deck facing the beach, a few in which we visited, all of which were cleaned and treated daily, good condition and proper working order. Security: The beach is patrolled with several safety/security officers. None of which were a bother, they would greet you with a smile. I didn't see any of them up close to 'personal activity' but kept their distance. They were very professional and just let people do what they wanted for the most part. If there was some activity that kicked off, I noticed an officer excuse himself from that area and simply moved a little further away to provide privacy. The officers would routinely look in another direction and not take the scenes as a movie for them to watch. The staff was the same way, basically walk by and ignore the activity, no judging, no finger pointing, very very professional. We did have one interaction, while we met some new friends, one of them required an 'assisted' walk back to her room due to a little intoxication, as she was staying in the room next to us, we offered to walk her back, not due to a security concern but more of a trip and fall consideration. We were approached by security and was kindly asked what was "going on here" we explained and all was well, they did keep an eye to ensure there wasn't something else taking place but allowed us to go on our own and kept a good distance. Guests: The best part of the trip were the people there. We have never met such a great group of people in our entire life. The people were non judging, open, very easy to talk to, happy to converse with anyone. The demographics of the group was better than expected. If you're worried about a certain age group or nationality, let it be known that it is a very diverse group of people. We've met people of all age groups, even a few in their 70's, all sizes, shapes, colors, classes, singles, couples. There is simply something or someone for everyone, no matter your level of participation in the lifestyle, you will not be disappointed. The people were very respectful. I highly recommend this resort to anyone, even if you're not currently practicing in the lifestyle, it is an experience that you will not forget. If anyone has any questions, I will do my best to answer.

Simple question: What are the differences between the Desire Riviera Maya PEARL resort and the Desire Riviera Maya Resort? What do we need to know before choosing? THANKS!

Hubby and I are heading to NOLA in about 2 weeks. We plan on visiting one of the two clubs while we are there. I was wondering which is better to attend? LOL. While I'm sure both are great, what are the pros and cons of each? TIA we really appreciate it!

We previously mentioned this club in our thread We accidentally fell into an orgy and we got a chance to go back. For those who didn't read our initial visit was on Wednesday's newbie night. Well we went back on a Friday. Very different vibe and we learned some lessons. First of all we went with friends we were introducing to the lifestyle (Separate story for another thread). I did mention to them the single men and the person giving the tour reinforced the aspect of respect and no means no. But there were so many and they were so creepy that it was killing our interest. Whenever something started happening in the library they would just swoop in and stare at them putting off the whole mood. It is definitely not an aspect I cared for and it certainly wasn't doing it for our friends either. So the first lesson we learned was that the single guy thing really makes us not want to play out in the public spaces. The second lesson we learned was don't show up late. Casually late is fine at a dance club but there were no rooms to be had when we arrived at 11:30pm. I'm also a little suspicious as to whether or not a hooker and his pimp set up in a room for the night to do some business. They never seemed to come out but people kept going in and leaving a little later. Couples and single men. We went back on Saturday which is couples only and things turned out much better. But you will have to find that thread somewhere else. Based on this we will only be going on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays from now on and showing up early but we would still visit this club.

...So me and my guy finally went to a club together. My first time at a club, but not his, though he hasnt been in involved in the LS in years. We went to The Velvet Curtain in Dallas, attending the New Years Eve Bash they were having. We didn't play with anyone or even play while there at all. We did watch a little in a public play area and that was hot. I loved the way everyone seemed so nice.. It was a great time, even though we didn't really find anyone to play with, I had a blast. And now I feel much more comfortable going to other clubs and trying other things. We are new to this...so I feel this first step was a total success... Thanks for reading.

Looks promising as a less expensive trip than Desire or Hedo. Anyone ever been?

It really wasn't intended. So where do I start? After our first house party and processing everything from that (details here), we decided to check out a club. As we were traveling (Nomads do that from time to time), we thought we would check out Colette New Orleans. It was newbie night so we figured there would be no pressure. After a really nice dinner, we headed over to one of the most nondescript buildings in the entire city. You wouldn't have even known it was there. After meeting both local and visiting couples, we hit it off with 3 or 4 of them so we decided to take it upstairs to the library. Spoiler alert. There are no books in the library. There are however some really nice couches. The only thing that was throwing off the vibe was a couple of the single guys. I mean I get that the view is great and people are starting to fool around. Boobs popped out like we were at a bra burning or something. But I'm going to assume that it isn't proper etiquette when a couple is starting to play for a single male to sit right down next to them, drop trousers and start cranking one out. Much less keep asking the male of the couple to have his girl help out with the handy work. So the 3 other couples we were clicking with decided to find another place. We got the invite to hop into the room to avoid the 3rd wheels and ended up on the bed with plenty to watch. No one was pushy and the couple close to us whom we really were getting along with asked if we were going to join. We opted to hang out and watch. Do you know how hard it is to remember the name of a woman you were introduced to 30 minutes ago when all you can see is her ass wagging in the air? It was just a tangled mess of beautiful body parts and would probably have been a hot sweaty mess if the heat was working int he second floor but it was starting to warm up. Well once Mrs. N started taking it all in she was certainly opening up. We ended up going right to our set limit of soft swap and no more but we pretty much stayed at that limit the whole night. She got her first girl-on-girl. Come to find out it was the other lady's first time as well. They seemed to enjoy it, and he and I certainly enjoyed that they enjoyed it. After playing there for an hour, we noticed the room getting more full. It appears some people didn't respect the curtain rule. As such, we and the other couple we were playing with opted for something a little more private and took one of the private rooms with doors. It was amazing. We left about 2 hours after we had planned and she was all smiles. We got their number and will certainly reach out to them should we be in town again. We debriefed on the ride home and I'm happy to say we are both very happy with how things went and it seems that it was a significant turn on for Mrs. N. Even the next morning after only 4 hours of sleep she's still running hot. While the single guys at the club were a little bit of a turn off we will indeed be back and I think we are going to do this again.

Hi all, My wife and I are new to this website and new to this lifestyle, which we both find exciting. We live in the DFW metroplex. We went to Amsterdam earlier this summer and after much discussion, decided to visit what we believe to be one of the better swingers clubs there. We had an amazing time! We agreed to certain ground rules ahead of time, since we really did not know what to expect. While we did not sexually engage with another couple there (but we met a few couples and enjoyed conversations with them) we did have amazing sex there! We both discovered we have exhibitionist likes. We enjoyed it so much we are considering going to Club Colette in Dallas to check out that scene. Two questions: 1. Does anyone have any experience with this particular club, good or bad? 2. We are a little nervous about running into some we might know there. Has anyone had an experience like that? Any insight would be appreciated.

Hi, We are considering visiting Cherry Lane resort in Michigan. Can we hear some personal experiences? Any chance to have sex in public? (or semi-public area ???) Thank you!

Hi, This is a lifestyle friendly clothing optional resort and my girl and I are going there this weekend. Does anybody have any reviews or opinions of this place? Thank You

Does anyone have any comments or advice on visiting the velvet curtain in Dallas, TX as a first time experience? My husband and I are ready to dive in and see what’s best for us but unsure where to start and from what I’ve seen, this seems to be the best place. Any cidea moments, advice is much appreciated.

Going to Colette in late July on a Friday night. How is the vibe? A lot of sexy 30 Somethings? Lastly, is it crowded this time of year? Any reviews will be helpful!!! Thanks in advancement.

Hi guys! A friend of mine suggested trying out Colette in New Orleans. I have a few questions and most of the research I’ve done has come up short for answers. Both my friend and I are lesbians, but completely open with our sexuality and just trying to find something new. My appearance is more masculine (short hair, men’s clothing) and I’m worried that this would not be a scene I’d be welcome in. To speak bluntly to get to the point without beating around the bush, my question is, would I be welcome/approachable at this type of club?

We had a great time there over Memorial Day weekend. Nice people at the pool during the day. VERY friendly people in the conversation pool at night. Recommend it highly!

We are planning a visit to Menages in Nashville the first Saturday in May. If anyone has been there recently we'd like a review. Are the group play areas more participants or watchers? Lockers available, towels, etc.

I know this place is not a swingers club, per se. However, I wonder if anyone has been there. It is a clothing optional resort. Seems like a nice place to hang out, literally, and get some sun, and for us its fairly close to home. The thought of hanging naked with the ms and 40 other guests sounds enticing. The Terra Cotta Inn. Palm Springs CA Thanks for any input, Steve

My wife and I will be traveling through town and plan to stop in on a Friday night. We have never been to a swingers club before. Can someone give me some info. How many couples and single men can we expect on a Friday night? What are the odds there will be some action in the play rooms? We at a minimum plan to watch and play with each other but are willing to entertain playing with a couple or single. I seen it is byob. How does that work as far as storage, cups etc?

Mr. Branched1 and I had the BEST time at Colette's in Dallas over the weekend! This was our first time at Colette's and the first time we tried "playing". We got there early so we could both have a drink or two, watch lots of sexy people, and meet a few as well. After dancing a bit, we both toured the different rooms to see what was happening. We went to the first room and the beds were already occupied by couples fucking, sucking, and enjoying the evening. It was HOT! We then went to the next room to watch couples play on the bed in the center of the room. There were several women on the bed enjoying their partners fingering and fucking for all to watch. We both sat and watched the action for quite a while until we decided to go into the theater room. We decided to sit on the front row and watch a bit of porn to get even more into the mood. We were extremely turned on by that time but who doesn't like porn! We started kissing and Mr. Branched1 asked to go down on me which was even more of a turn on. He worked me for a while and then I decided to return the favor. We both played a little while longer and I decided to fuck Mr. Branched1. We went at it for a while until he came inside me. Shortly after his deposit, another couple decided to sit down next to us. They had been standing and watching us. The couple began the same rituals that we had just finished with. We watched them for a bit and Mr. Branched1 decided to clean up his mess he provided me which was so fucking hot! I was certainly turned on by all the action that was occurring around me and to me. Mr. Branched1 wanted me to ask the couple next to us if the woman wanted to play while our respective partners worked us over. I was nervous to ask so Mr. Branched1 took it upon himself to ask the couple if they would mind. We felt we were getting a vibe which is what even prompted him to ask. They were willing to join us so I started making out with the other woman by sucking her nipples and playing with her tits. She reciprocated and we continued to play together for quite a while. The boys continued to work on us ladies and she and I enjoyed the moment. I moved my hand down between her thighs and started managing her clit which excited her man. He slid his cock into her as I spread her lips for him and let his cock move through my fingers into her tight, wet pussy. Mr. Branched1 continued to work on my clit as I worked on hers. I was kissing the other woman when her man joined us in the kissing. Mr. Branched1 moved up on the couch to watch and get a better view of the play. Mr. Branched1 played with her tits and her man with mine. During all the groping, Mr. Branched1 looked up and we had an audience of 6-10 people watching our every move! We paused at this point and had some minor introductions between all of us and come to find out this was her first time as well as mine. Her man said he had been in LS sometime before but it was new with them as a couple. There was some conversation if we would be back and if we wanted to exchange numbers which we sidestepped since we aren't ready for that right now. In all, it was an incredible night and certainly spurred on 7 more fuck sessions between me and Mr. Branched1. Crazy as our record in a 24hr period has was 5! Not sure if this is a "normal" beginning to the lifestyle but we can definitely see how it would be easy to continue to move forward. We talked afterwards about the fun we had and discussed the fact that we crossed some boundaries we had set prior to going in. We were both fine with the border crossing and have now established some new boundaries which will allow for more play in the future with other couples. All I can say is we had one hell of a weekend and are looking forward to more in our future! Even though it was considered a "soft" swap, (we assume) this is a BIG step for us but I'm glad we are on this journey together!

I was involved the other night at one of our local LS parties in a conversation regarding Desire and Hedonism. We have honestly never been to either or any lifestyle party for that matter. However, since the weather in the Northern Hemisphere is about to get miserably cold I am sure a number of us are going to heading south to get a bit of an escape. So for a couple of days R & R while staying in the lifestyle, which resort are you choosing and why? Are there other resorts you would pick? Anything more domestic?

We just returned from HBR. We go at least once a year for 7 to 10 nights. We like HBR because it definitely a 4 to 5 star all inclusive resort. It's not cheap, but worth it. The staff at the resort is extremely good and most have been there for years. We are greeted by name when we arrive. HBR is about 1 1/2 hours from CUN and is next to Seaside El Dorado resort. If you want to get dressed, there are 6 or 7 more restaurants there that are included with your HBR package. The restaurant at HBR (only is one) is good. We like the breakfast buffet and if you want you can order from a menu too. Rob usually asks for special shrimp and fish dishes, which the chef does his best to furnish and does not disappoint. We can usually find a house wine we enjoy. The liquor is not exactly top shelf but not bad and if you request something special, they usually will get it. The in-room frig is kept stocked with any drink items you request. Evening entertainment varies from night to night and tends to be a shorter version of the entertainment next door at SeaSide. The people staying at the resort range in ages from 30's to 70's with the majority in the 45 to 55 age range. The resort is definitely not out in the open naughty or swinger oriented, but what goes on behind closed doors are the couples' business. Theme nights still are not too well attended and nightlife action ends pretty early. If anyone has any questions, we'll do our best to respond back. Julie and Rob

Couples Cruise Review, November 11-18, Freedom of the Seas. As I write this I am wobbly still from the boat that is suppose to be moving around me yet inexplicably is not in my home, just shy of bone tired, and recovering from what is the best vacation my wife and I have had, period. Needless to say we had a good time. Several good times. But anyways I digress. I may add more to this review as time goes on and my head is more clear, but I wanted to write it down now as its still fresh in my memory. I was going to write an organized review, but instead I give you a rambling narrative. Its what my mind is able to handle right now. You, gentle reader, may recall my review from the last Couples Cruise we went on in 2011. Most of my issues with that cruise were with Royal Caribbean and not Couples Cruise directly. I'd like to say most of those issues have been resolved. This is good that I'd like to say it, because in fact they were mostly resolved. This ship was much cleaner, food was improved (still not as good as RC used to be), the staff was mostly excellent, and the only issues were the overwhelmed waiters in the main dinning hall who didn't know how to handle the random seating very well with the multitude of wine packages and non-constant tables. I'm quite surprised they just don't have a card reader for your Sea Pass card they can swipe and get your wine package etc from but my guess is normally that sort of thing isn't needed. Over all I have few complaints about RC beyond the usual nickel and dollaring on things like alcohol, but thats the same on all cruises outside of expensive smaller ships. So lets get into the meat of it with some descriptions of the experience as my guess is most of you reading this are thinking, at least partially about going on such a cruise but are skeptical or worried how it would turn out. I'm going to have to go vulgar on this one, so those of you more sensitive readers may wish to cover your eyes for a moment, but it turned out fan-fucking-tastic. Ok, you can open your eyes again, its safe to proceed for now. Just a disclaimer if you were on this same cruise, I will only be reviewing or talking about things which we personally did or I at least got a VERY good report on from someone we trusted. We did not take advantage of every aspect of entertainment on the ship. For example we did not see the ships comedian , which we heard sucked from people we trusted. He apparently opened with a line that the ship should be renamed Herpes of the Sea (or something as such) and spent most of his time insulting swingers (openly gay comedian btw). So I think he missed the mark there on his material. There was a swinger comedian (as in she was a swinger as well) but we missed her show and did not get a good report on it. There were other classes through the Couples Cruises which were swinger/sex related and we did not attend any of those. In part because in some ways, while all the information was readily available, it wasn't as clear as on our past cruise. That was only a small part though. The main part was we were having to much fun with people to want to take the time. So before I get into more specifics I'll give you a typical day (at Sea) that you would experience. First depending on your age/fit status/hangover/ and how late you were up the night before, you would wake up. At least I would hope so. For us that was often horribly early considering the night before, but kids does that to you, and sleeping past 8am is a rarity. So you get up and have breakfast like any other cruise, at least we did. We would get back to our room and shower and apply sunscreen ALL over. In case you were wondering, spray on sunscreen sort of burns on your penis. I'm not sure why its only the skin of the penis that does this, but it feels much like Ben Gay or warming lotion. We would then put on our “bathing suit” which rarely got wet, hit the pool deck and get naked. I'd say maybe 30-40% of the people would be fully nude. The rest would be topless (for women) or on the more prudish side. It could have been a higher % nude, I really wasn't counting. You will also find a few more RC people on deck “observing” then I think is normal, but why not let them look, everyone else is, and they are not allowed to touch. We were VERY luck and early in our trip ran into a group of swingers from a Western US city (which shall remain unnamed just for privacy) who took us into their fold and by the end of the trip doubled their size (from 6 couples and one single to 12 couples and the single). These guys were awesome and really helped make our trip great. We didn't hang out with them every night or every event, but did 4 of the 7 days. Its finding a group like this which turned a “good” trip into a “awesome” one. I am trying to think how I could replicate such a group for our next cruise, but I don't think we will be that lucky again. But anyhow, we would hang out in the hot tubs and pools for several hours, basically all nude, and often quite literally frolicking. While the rule was no overt sex outside of play rooms and cabins, there was still a lot of light touching, hugging, that sort of thing going on. After several hours of this we would wonder down to dinner where the food was very good and the service somewhat confused. Meals in the main dinning room would take upwards of two hours, but based on the company we had (both this group and another ad hoc group we joined for a day) it was not a real issue. The parties didn't start usually till 10 or so and there wasn't much to do at that point. At times we found we were in pain from laughing. It was a good time. Then would come the “theme” party. Some better than others. We didn't bring costumes for all (which was a mistake) but still had a blast with them, from both being part of it, and just watching people. Lets not forget this is a group of 1000's of swingers, and some are more “alt lifestyle” than others. Some were rather prudish, some sexy, some slutty, and some just freaky. All in fun though. Some parties had productions on the promenade deck with dancing and effects, others were just dress up and go dance on the pool deck or in the (covered) ice rink. These tended to include a lot of making out, touching, dancing, and eventually heading to the play room or cabin. Now this was a typical day for us and the group we hung out with. It was our speed and our type of play. Again though this is not just a cruise it was a city of swingers. By the end of the cruise, swinging seemed less a “lifestyle” and more just “life”. Many people were joking that by the end of the cruise that we would have to retrain ourselves that grabbing someones ass while giving them a kiss was not a normal hello for strangers and the like. Being a city of swingers, you had swingers which I think didn't leave the playroom for the entire trip unless it was closed. I spoke with one of the Couples Cruise people when she looked VERY tired one morning and she said she was up past 4am (it was about 830am) and had a hell of a time getting people to leave the main playroom. They turned on the lights, made announcements, and practically pulled the sheets out from under people to get them to move. There was also a BSDM play room (we never saw it), a “Dark room” where you had to feel your way, and a hall pass room (which apparently became used as a second play room (who's to say who's on a hall pass really) since really the first one was WAY to small for demand). We only made it down to the play room once and after basically wandering around a couple of laps looking for an open bed gave up. It was like looking for a parking space at a mall on Christmas Eve. Also a lot of people were complaining about the smell (you can guess what) which was rather strong. While we decided it wasn't our thing, much as we did the last cruise, it was obviously VERY popular, too popular in terms of space. Now as for the “types” of swingers on board. Being there were 1000's, it quite frankly included all types. There were swingers one toe out of the grave, and 20 somethings. There were fat ones, short ones, tall ones, fit ones, body builder ones. There were the LA style pretty people who thought they were too good to talk to anyone but their own 'kind', and some people that looked like they came out of an episode of “Swamp People” (and I'm not using hyperbole). There were also nudists who were very annoyed that Castaways travel didn't seem to feel the need to mention that “clothing optional” cruising would be really a lifestyle event, not a nudist one. This seems to be a common problem for nudists, you would think they would have learned by now. I did see a castaways post card advertising one of the upcoming cruises, and the only hint it would be a swingers cruise was the line that it was through “Couples Cruises” or something like that, so I do think they had a point. Like any swing party, even a week long one, if you are shy and hope to be approached, odds are you will stay by yourselves. Everyone was very respectful of boundaries that we saw, and we even ran into a completely vanilla couple on the ship, who while sticking to themselves were at least completely safe from us swinger types. The shore excursions were the typical RC style ones, though the RC island allowed full nudity, and there were other clothing optional ones. We did have our only real disappointment and moment we felt ripped off on our second excursions. It was a pool party at “Black Beards Estate” and it cost some 40 dollars each (I think it was slightly more). It was grossly over crowded and they should have stopped counting dollars signs and thought about guess experience. We did have a very good time but only because we met some great people to talk to, we could have done that on board. So we sat in our one area with a beach towel (luckily one of the group got off on the first bus and got a space), and chatted until it was over. We had our ONE “free” rum punch drink, and then a cash bar. My wife had a Pepsi, she thought it tasted odd, and found it expired in July. I had a beer, mine expired in September. It wasn't enough to make me angry and demand a refund, we were having too good a time to be pissy about anything, but it does make me rethink taking such arranged parties in the future. To be fair as well I don't know who did the ripping off here. It could have easily been the Black Beards people overstating their capacity. Really a minor disappointment. So where was I overall for the rambling reviews (did I mention my house seems to be floating at sea). Food – 3 stars over all. (out of 5). Parties – 4 stars. Organization – 4.5 stars. Ship Cleanliness – 4 stars. Ship Crew – 4 stars. Couples Cruise People – 5 stars. Entertainment – 3 stars. Ok, let's get back to the entertainment. They had movies (including children's movies) going, I'm sure they are the standard RC ones). A lame magic show where the magician seemed to just want to make sure we liked him on Facebook, an ice show which also seemed out of place on a cruise but was entertaining, a comedian who bombed but kept plowing on, some on deck activities which were pretty funny (the Cruise director is amusing). There were swinger related bits as well which we all missed but we fun on the last cruise so I'd assume they were good here too. Ok, I'm on page 4 of single spaced review, so I'm taking a break here. I will continue my review later. If anyone has questions, feel free to ask.

I know its been asked before but we are interested in going Friday and Saturday one to Jasmine and the other to Colette. Any advice?

Being this is our fourth Couples Cruise and my third couples cruise review. I'm going to approach this one a bit differently and more to the point. If you are new to the idea of CC cruises, please read my other reviews to get a good idea of what to expect and experience. The second link is outdated, but perhaps informative on a clueless newbs perspective. This review will be more focused on this particular cruise and the lifestyle oriented excursions. First, the ship: Freedom of the Seas. This ship is one of the bigger RC ships, and while you can see shes getting a bit “tired” in places, its still very nice. I read the next Nov cruise will be on a newer ship, but if it was the Freedom I wouldn't complain. Second, the crew/service: Very nice as usual. The main dining room was still slow and something of a mess at times, but we only had “bad” service once (last day of course). Otherwise things were maybe slightly improved from previous cruises. Many of the crew seemed to be enjoying themselves on the cruise. Third, the food: If you read my first review, I complained a lot about the food. The food was far better on the last Nov and April cruises and even slightly improved for this one, so RC got their act together. Ok thats the boring stuff, what about the swinging, lifestyle, sex stuff? Well we had a really really good time but yea anyways on to the less specific.... First let me state that the hardest part about being off the ship is remembering that “pat the ass” is NOT acceptable behavior when you greet a woman you know. Neither is french kiss, boob groping, or doing an underwear check. This makes me sad, but alas... There were the usual play rooms (minus the darkroom) and the usual complaints about not enough beds in the main play room, but otherwise no changes there. The Chocolate room was moved to its own area which seemed a good idea as well. This is all second hand as we never even made it into the playrooms for our usual “walk around, too full, lets find a stateroom”. I didn't hear a lot of complaints though beyond the lack of beds after 11pm or so. The Parties were the usual wonderful insanity you get when you combine a LOT of swingers, alcohol, and freedom to be themselves. In other words they were off the hook and a blast. But let me get to one issue we had with the parties. They started usually at 11pm and often went to 2-3am. The usual in our circle seemed to be dinner, hang out in front of the “bull and bear” pub waiting for people to show up, wait some more, go to the dance floor, figure out that nights play partners, stateroom, 3am buffet. Why so late is the question EVERYONE was asking. We have a ship full of swingers, we don't need babysitters, we have been hanging out ALL day, no one was at work, we are ready to have fun! We heard this from a lot of couples, from 20's to 60's in age. And while we found the late nights a bit annoying (we are getting to old for 3am every day) I do have to wonder if the parties started earlier if the people complaining would show up. It seems having sex in the WEEE hours of the morning is a swinger tradition in the non-playroom crowd. The playroom crowd seems to ignore the parties all together and gets down to business. So while a 9pm start would have been nice, especially on the day the party officially didn't start until 12pm, I won't claim to know it would have been better. I will say this though, I'd guess that Red Bull sales were a large part of RC's profit. Being people have had this complaint every cruise, I'm guessing its one of those things people complain about but is still necessary. Theme nights: A lot of people this cruise really got into the theme nights, and there were some pretty elaborate costumes. I am happy to say though, we were the only smurfs on blue night and my wife makes a perfect smurfette. If you go, bring costumes, they are fun. Classes/shows/etc: I can't really give a good review here because this cruise more than any others we took less advantage of these activities as we were busy taking advantage/being taken advantage of, by fellow guests. We did see one show, that they swinger oriented for this cruise (the Quest show) and it was very good, but the only reason we saw it, is we were waiting for the party to start, at 12, and since the show ran late the party started at 12:30. Personally I call this a good thing, we took a vanilla cruise and you NEEDED the shows to pass the time and avoid being insanely bored. On a CC cruise, being bored is a choice Excursions: We did the lifestyle excursions exclusively this trip. That was a clothing optional beach on Jamaica run by the Hedo people, and a clothing optional water park on Cozumel. Both were quite good. The Water Park was outstanding, clean, fun, and we had a good time there, food was basic. The Jamaican one was a bit more crowded, but the food was excellent (jerk pork and chicken). I was a bit leery because the only time I've felt honestly ripped off on these cruises was a excursion we had to “Black Beards Estate” which was close to 100 per person, OVER crowded, and they served expired food and drink. We were taken advantage of in that one. I don't know the story behind that one, but on this cruise they were outstanding and well worth the money, and my hunch is that the company on the Island is to blame for the bad experience as everything CC has done has been very good. Meet and Greets: This they mixed up a bit from our earlier cruises. Almost daily they had M&G's for various play types and over/under 45. This was nice, being you didn't “miss” the M&G and never had another chance. The hard part was getting people there are the same time. The under 45 was almost always done in Studio B, which is the ice rink/dance floor. The problem was its HUGE, and people would arrive, see no one there, leave. Another group would do the same 5 minutes later etc. Bar venues would probably work better but either way it was still a nice attempt to bring new couples together. Some of them were very well attended, some empty (due to the flow). We got to know 2 of the couples cruise couples well and when they worked it we helped create a sort of “critical mass” of people and had good attendance. Ages: I am editing this in as I forgot to mention it. Age ranges on this cruise seemed more spread out than some of our past ones. We had NO problem finding couples our ages, and there seemed to even be a good sized crowd in their 20's. While on our first cruise we felt like the "kids" on the cruise, this cruise we were definitely not in the youngest group. Commentary: On a personal level we have a hard time rating this cruise compared to our past ones. It was outstanding in some ways, and less so in others. Its 100% based on the people we meet. I asked my wife where she would put this cruise in “ratings” with our last two (our first was our worst but that was due to our newbieness) and she couldn't place it either. All have been different and all have been fun and its all about who you meet and how social you want to be. We are torn right now if we will be doing the cruise next May and November. The reason we are torn is we have friends going on both who we really like, the kind that makes us wish we could move to other cities, and its a chance to be with them again. We are doing November for sure and keeping our fingers crossed on May. May the babysitting god smile upon us. Which brings me to another interesting thing about these cruises. There is definitely a “cruise community” of sorts now. We met more people on their 2nd plus cruise than on their first. I'm not sure what the ratio was, but a good number were not newbies. Many we had met before, or at the very least seen. There were lots of friendly people who were not our play type but still great to talk to we got to chat with and hang out with from past cruises. My wife, has enjoyed them so much that she wants to see if she can do official pole dancing classes (shes a certified instructor). Every cruise she has been giving impromptu lessons on the outdoor poles set up and we had quite a group going our last sea day (despite high winds). Not sure if thats even possible, but it shows how these events have become part of our lives, even if its only 2 weeks a year or so. We also got lucky in that three of the couples working for CC were from our home town. We had never met them before, and hope to see them soon locally. All I can say is these cruises have been something we look forward to for months in advance, and I'd like to thank Bob, Wayne, and the hard working (they really do) CC members for making these a reality.

We've never been to a club and we might try checking one out soon in DFW. Can anyone suggest a good one?