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Showing results for tags 'safe sex'.
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Ok so this may be a bit taboo and yes there are plenty of issues that come with this… but our conversation (and fantasies) revolve around swapping and sex in this fashion. It might sound silly but is this frowned upon in swinger circles? Would we be blacklisted or is there a place for this? We wouldn’t be sleeping around and maybe hope to find a regular couple or 2 to have this fun with, but as a general rule what’s the community’s approach to those coming in and looking to have bareback sex?
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The past few months I have been thinking about this. We have been to house parties and other things over the years. At some of these parties the people are playing with multiple partners either in private/public/both. So here is the question. If she had someone cum (bareback) in her earlier in the party and you start playing with her: Do you know if she played earlier? Would you ask her if she went bareback before you do oral? Should she tell you before you go down on her? What if she doesn't tell and you find out? What would be required before you go down on her if she did have someone cum in her? I am not personally interested in creampies, but this question I thought was interesting.
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DH and I have been in the lifestyle for quite a while and always wanted to play in a hot tub but was always worried we would catch something since hot tubs are full of weird things. My question is there a way to play safe in the tub?
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This particular thread Bareback Swingers made us curious about how common bareback sex is among those of us on the Board. The following is a poll we saw on a Yahoo! group earlier this year. We are looking forward to reading your feedback.
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Covid has been a rough time to say the least. But lately monkeypox has been spreading like wildfire. How have you gone about swinging during these times? Have you just jumped in regardless of the risks? Taken a break from swinging/sex with others? I ask, mostly because my wife and I have been wanting to arrange a mfm threesome, And or to attend a local gloryhole, but aren't sure if it's worth risking due to Monkeypox etc. What are you guys personally doing?
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Picture this scene: My wife and went to a house party on the weekend where upstairs there were private rooms for 1 on 1 action and in the basement there was a group room. In the group room a woman in her late 40's or early 50's is literally taking on all the guys that her husband can get for her. Here's the catch, the only way you can do her is BAREBACK and she wants as many guys to cum in her pussy as possible. Much to my surprise, she had no shortage of guys willing to do this. Keep in mind that this was not a closed group of swingers, but a party open to any and all who wanted to attend. Now I will admit that my wife and I have talked about doing something like this as she really gets off on having guys cum inside her, but we haven't because of the health risks (basically, you could never find enough d/d free guys who could prove it to ever attempt something like this). What we'd like to know your opinions on are the following: 1. Why would any couple take a risk like this in this sort of environment? 2. Why would any guy go for this sort of thing? 3. Are we just over-reacting to this? Thanks in advance.
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Anyway, we've been lurking and posting here for awhile now but now we're in a spot where we could use some advice. Been an active member on a few boards to know that by the end of this discussion there will have been too much advice to follow. But maybe we don't need advice but just to vent? Anyway, we've been flirting with the idea of swinging for years, and a couple of months ago we made the first step: we went to a swinger's club. My wife seemed a bit skeptical about the whole thing, but once in she seemed to like the atmosphere, the eroticism and the omnipresent sexuality and lack of inhibitions. We ended up having great sex with each other in the playroom and had a couple of weeks of awesome sex after. As we were walking out the club she mentioned that she still doesn't know why would people have sex with others. I had to be a smart ass and tell her that they probably started out just like us. Anyway, we went to the club a couple more times and just watched others while being watched playing with each other. Then one night at the club, our table became somehow popular, we had a great time, met some new people, tried to make a new couple comfortable by telling them about our first time there and how nobody talked to us. Anyway, we went to the playroom, decided to play with each other as usual, but since the swing was taken(we wanted to try that) we ended up in the big pool table size bed. Shortly after some other couples came and before we knew it the whole room was now an orgy. While I was having sex with my wife, I felt that she was very turned on, so I motioned to a guy that was available that it was ok to have oral with her. She went for it and that was so arousing that shortly after I felt the need to see her having sex with another man, so I went and got a handful of condoms, placed them on the bed next to the guy and told him to use one and have sex with my wife. I watched as he put on the condom and entered her, then I noticed a lady next to us and she said it's ok for us to play. At one point however, I tried to kiss her but she wouldn't so that turned me off and decided to go back to watching my wife with another man. Then I realized he wasn't wearing a condom, I asked him why isn't he wearing one and told him he needs to stop. I didn't wanna make a scene since it was our first time with other people and I was afraid my wife will freak out thinking I had a jealousy fit. I know I have a bad temper and didn't wanna scare her. So we just left the club. Soon after, we found out that the couple we slept with are known as predators, that they don't play nice and are banned from any other club in town. All our online friends wished they were there to warn us. My wife is still breastfeeding and wasn't on any birth control then. We don't believe in abortion and the two of us have unprotected sex with each other all the time. We do have young children and wanna be able to raise them and we need our health for that. We decided to keep playing and we went to a new club that's a bit more selective of it's members. We don't wanna ever go back to the first club. While it's too late to undo what's done, confronting the guy over the bareback issue doesn't make sense to me. It's my word against his, he'll simply deny it. Some friends told us that the owners of the club wanna talk to us about this issue. Anybody and their dog knows that these two are bad news, and that they prey on newbies, since the experienced won't have anything to do with them. They are banned from all other clubs yet the owners of this club didn't banned them and didn't care to warn us about it. Other members didn't warn us about them either. We've been thru hell the past 3 weeks waiting for a negative pregnancy test, and it is negative. But we have cold sweats with any itch that got or not to do with the crotch area. It sucks tho, it was our first experience and totally not what we were looking for. We changed clubs and our friends are asking us to go back to the first one but we just don't want to. We think it was the owner's duty to keep us safe and they didn't do that when they allowed people with a bad rep, that were banned from other clubs to be members and didn't at least warn us. We feel they sold us out for an entrance fee. -
People sharing what questions they ask about potential playmates and sexual history has led to some very interesting thoughts and discussions. The one I found most interesting was the idea of "wild" people are not safe. Which of course led to the discussion of what constitutes being "wild". How many partners does it take for you to decide ok this person just has had too many partners for me to feel safe with them. Are there other issues that constitute wild? At what point do you feel that you just can't trust your sexual health in the "hands" of this person or people? -
Excuse me if this has already been discussed to death, but reading the poll about reasons NOT to use condoms got me thinking about further statistics on condom use. As you may know, Hubby and I are very new at this...so new, we have not engaged in any sexual activity with other people. However, we have talked A LOT about the possibility of engaging soft/hard play with a single male or female, or potentially down the road with a couple. In our discussions, we have discussed whether we will demand the use of condoms, but at this time we're still unsure. My question to those of you that use condoms, do you use them for oral, penetration, both, or not at all and what is your reason as to why you chose to use/not use them in that way? I'm asking because I know STD's can be passed both orally and through penetration, but it appears from that previous poll, that there are swingers out there (couples and singles) that use a condom for penetration, but not for oral. I would just really like to hear the reason's why in hopes to help us make our decision. Thank you for taking time to respond and again, please forgive me if this has been discussed to death already.
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STD VACCINATIONS Hey folks. Been doing a little research into STD vaccinations, which tend to be a series of injections that help protect you against certain sexually transmitted diseases and think they could be very useful for people who are exploring the swinging lifestyle. It’s worth mentioning that I am based in the UK but I’m sure other countries such as the USA and most other major European countries will offer the same services. These services can either be found at your: Doctors Sexual Health Clinics Private Healthcare Clinics Reputable Pharmacies For example some may be available at your doctors or local sexual health clinics for free, whilst others you might have to pay for at private healthcare facilities or good reputable pharmacies, but guess you can not put a price on safety. WHAT I HAVE FOUND SO FAR: 1: HPV - Human Popilloma Virus: The Human Popilloma Virus is extremely common and doctors say most sexually active people will be infected with HPV at some point in their lives. In many cases there are no symptoms but it can lead to anal cancer / throat cancer / cervical cancer / and cause genital warts. There are generally two types of vaccinations against HPV which include: Gardasil: Which prevents infection from HPV 6, 11, 16, 18, which are the types of HPV which cause 90% of genital warts and is used to prevent cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, penis, and throat. Gardasil 9: Prevents infection by the same types of HPV as the Gardasil, but Gardasil 9 also includes protection against HPV 31, 33, 45, 52, 58. Which collectively are the types of HPV associated with cervical cancers. My Thoughts: This seems to indicate that MEN should be vaccinated using the general Gardasil, but that WOMEN should be vaccinated using Gardasill 9 which offers more protection against cervical cancer. Taking into account men don’t have a cervix then there would be no need for men to get protected against cervical cancer. However I’d make sure to speak with your doctor / healthcare professional whoo will recommend the correct vaccination for you. It is worth pointing out that in most places the vaccination for HPV is only given to young people / young women. However various private clinics and pharmacies are happy to vaccinate men or people aged up to 44 years old against HPV. The HPV virus like many others can be spread by anal / vaginal / or oral sex. In many cases your own immune system will kill the virus but having a vaccination against it will severally increase your immune system against the virus and perhaps help to stop you contracting it in the first place. You can find more information on the vaccination on the link below, or try doing a internet search to find out more information for your specific area: HPV Vaccination Service| Travel Health | Health & Pharmacy - Boots 2: Hepatitis A: Is usually a disease contracted from contaminated water or food, however it can also be spread by sexual contact / close contact with an infected person. The disease attacks the human liver and can cause symptoms such as: Tiredness / Fever / Loss of Appetite / Diarrhoea / Nausea / Abdominal Discomfort / Dark Coloured Urine / Jaundice / Itching Skin / Vomiting / and in very severe cases even Death. Whilst the majority of people will recover from Hepatitis A within 2 to 6 months of been infected it can cause serious issues for older people / very young children / those who are already suffering other medical issues. In some cases it is reported that a person can fully recover from Hepatitis A which does grant them immunities against the disease but then they become re-infected at a later date, that the disease is somehow reborn in their body seeing them infected all over again. Whilst catching Hepatitis A is rare in places such as the UK / USA and can be prevented by eating clean fresh food and water / washing hands / good hygiene practices / safe sex its worth noting that a series of 3 injections will effectively give you immunities against the disease for about 25 years. My Thoughts: Taking into account Hepatitis A can be contracted simply by close contact with an infected person then I’d say this disease is potentially very dangerous for families. In many cases an STD would require “Sexual Contact / Sexual Penetration” where as Hepatitis A can be spread simply by “Close Contact” for example if someone kisses you / kisses your hands which could effect young children. 3: Hepatitis B: Hepatitis B is the more common sexually transmitted version of Hepatitis and is usually spread by sexual contact / the passing of bodily fluids. Again it attacks the human liver and causes a variety of symptoms such as: Vomiting / Rashes / Joint Pain / Tiredness / Headaches / Loss of Appetite / Flu Like Symptoms / Jaundice / Liver Cancer / Liver Failure / Death. The world health organization estimate that in 2015 around 887’000 people died from Hepatitis B and its complications. There is usually a series of 3 or 4 injections to vaccinate against Hepatitis B but studies have shown it grants immunities against the disease for up to 20 years. It is also worth mentioning that Hepatitis B does have an “Incubation Period” meaning for 40 to 160 days it may not even show up on blood tests. My Thoughts: Well taking into account an estimated 887’000 people died from Hepatitis B in 2015 alone then I’d say its fairly serious for those who explore sexually. It does take a series of injections and then a “Booster Injection” sometime later to be fully vaccinated against the disease but if you can arrange the injections and the following booster injection then immunities against the disease for 20 years sounds great. PRICES: In the UK some of the prices I have found for these vaccinations are: HPV - Full 3 Injections = £450 Hepatitis A - Full 3 Injections = £120 Hepatitis B - 1 Injection = £49 In many cases you will need a “Booster Injection” which is given about 6 to 12 months after the main vaccinations. PLEASE make sure to ask your doctor or pharmacists about these “Booster Shots” because if you complete the full series of injections and a booster injection later it offers protection for 20 to 25 years after. MY OVERALL THOUGHTS: I know from experience that one of the barriers / issues people have with swinging and multiple sexual partners is the risk of catching an STD. Yes a lot of people would like to sexually explore, a lot of people would like more sexual experience, but they also fear catching an STD. That in many cases a concerned wife might refuse to swing because of the risks of catching an STD. That perhaps a concerned mother or father may refuse to swing in hopes of protecting their family. However you could say getting vaccinations against HPV / Hepatitis A&B would dramatically lower that risk. Taking into account that STD’s / STI’s such as Chlamydia / Gonorrhoea are easily treatable with antibiotics then the main worry would be HIV. That basically if you vaccinate yourself against HPV / Hepatitis A&B and many of the other STDS / STIS are treatable with antibiotics then overall your going to be a lot safer. I hope someone finds this information useful and that it perhaps gives people some ideas about how to protect themselves better.
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Reviving an old topic, but with a poll this time. Do you ask other swingers that are potential playmates if they have been tested for STD's? Always, sometimes, never? If the answer is "sometimes", what factors do you use to decide to ask that question?
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Hello everybody, we are new to the swinger community, but we would like to make our first experiences. We are just a little concerned about VDs when swapping, because the condom could break or slip off. Did this happen to you? Did you notice it? Would you say that breaking or slip off can be avoided, when using them accurately? Thanks! Jenny and Marc
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This is a thread for bareback-only couples/males/females I don't mean those who differentiate between long-terms FB's and casual partners. I'm talking here about people who NEVER use condoms, whether with a FB, stranger or a gang-bang. Questions: 1/ How long have you been bareback-only? 2/ How did you come to this decision? 3/ Is the attraction of bareback to you physical (ie sensation) or psychological (ie do you view swinging as incomplete unless cum is exchanged) 4/ Do you find many that many swingers couples are bareback-only? (We find the real number is much higher than those who will openly admit it) 5/ Has it ever seriously limited your number of potential partners? 6/ For those who go to swingers parties/clubs (as Sarah and I do), have you ever been to any which are specifically bareback-only events/venues. I will answer my own questions fullly later, however, but just to start the topic off, Sarah and I have been in the swingers lifestyle for the past 14 years and Sarah's been 100% bareback-only the entire time. No condoms for us! NOTE: There is to be no judgemental moralising on this thread. I respect other's decisions to use condoms and your should respect my wife and I's decision not to do so.
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When you swap mates do you use condoms for intercourse?
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As a swinger, it seems easier and more acceptable for couples to engage in safe sex and request for condoms to be used. I can only think of one time where a couple expressed unhappiness about using condoms. However, I can see where a request for condoms might see more resistance in a polyamory situation. For swingers, the primary reason is to avoid STDs/STIs and a secondary reason is to preserve bareback sex with their spouse...or what can also be called fluid bonding. In a poly situation, if each partner within the poly relationship doesn't swing with others but there is still a request for condoms-only for certain partners and not for others, there might be a few questions like: you're intimate with me emotionally, why not go all the way and be fluid bonded; why preserve fluid bonding for the primary (question about hierarchy); and don't you trust me enough to fluid bond with me? What do you think? Do you think the issue of using condoms is easier for swingers than it is for those in poly relationships? Or do you think it's the same? -
What if there was a 4 digit number that could be used to identify, and screen prospective partners according to their level of sexual risk? You could think of it as sort of a credit score for having sex. Using it, you and another person could size up how acceptable one another's risk profiles were without necessarily knowing the intimate details of one another's risk profiles. So if you wanted to avoid people that have stds, such as AIDs, you could ask a prospective partner if they have it (based on test results) without offending them in the process by insinuating that they do. Furthermore, if you wanted to avoid people that are likely to have stds (based on probabilities) without insinuating anything, you could do that too. Conversely, if you are a person with AIDs, or anything else, you could use this number to disclose your condition without fear of shame, or stigma as the sole purpose of this number would be to only tell whether or not two people are sexually compatible - nothing more, nothing less. Polling Question: Would you find this useful, not necessarily as a swinger per se, but as a sexually active person?
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Hello, welcome to a little poll and discussion about "principles vs the heat of the moment". Are swingers very disciplined concerning principles like for example always using condoms? What happens to your principles when things actually happen: a party, a little drunk, sex everywhere... The discussion should not be limited to condoms, but all broken principles and arrangements are the topic, e.g. only soft swap, no kissing, never in different rooms, always this, never that, and so on ... -
Met a single guy for a date recently. I really liked him. We started to play a little and when I touched his cock I felt a small scab on the shaft and a bump just at the base --not on the penis but like in the area around the base. I know I should've asked him about it then but I didn't. I diverted the session back into a heavy make out with no other play. I ask my husband's advice about it upon returning home and he offered up several explanations of what it could be- a mole (he had one removed from that area after all), razor burn irritation, an ingrown hair. The scabbed area on his cock he said could be from jerking off too much/too hard- he admitted to getting those sometimes in his single days when all he had was his hand. I am not trying to make excuses for him but just really trying to look at both sides. It could be HPV or herpes (I dont think so though-- the bump was rather large for herpes I think--and not clustered). I'm more concerned about HPV but I wouldn't say the area was flat either- it felt like a raised bump- like how an ingrown hair or mole might feel. It doesn't make sense to me that he'd expose his cock to me with a raging infection of some sort but obviously, I'm not about to take that chance. He also offered zero explanation for it at the time which makes me wonder. I also did not ask him about it though. Since we were in a parked car, I did not see it at all. I only felt it long enough for my hand to glide down the shaft of his cock. I'm scared to offend him. I know I need to bring it up to him (I will not play with him without answers) and I know he deserves the chance to explain it to me. After all, it may be completely harmless but I know it's my right to ask these questions and get answers. Such a sensitive topic. I know that being direct and honest is the best way to deal with this but thought I'd ask others advice before bringing it up to him. So guys, how would you like to be approached in this situation? Ladies, have you found yourself in a similar situation? What a did you do? I thought about sending him an email - I realize that's somewhat of a cop out but that way it gives me time to write out what I want and then gives him time to process it and decide how to respond. Advice? Comments? Suggestions? All are appreciated. -
In the chat tonight we started talking about why people DON'T use condoms, so I thought I'd post this poll here for everyone who doesn't use condoms or only uses them part of them to just see why. Please don't turn this into a debate over whether or not they effective. Post your reasons and leave it at that... no need to debate.
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Seen a lot of different threads on here about who uses condoms and who doesn't. Reality is the test. This poll is completely private. (We don't know who you are!!!) So please vote!!! We've been to quite a few different types of lifestyle parties and wanted to know who uses condoms and who doesn't or somewhere in between!!!!
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Hey guys, We're new to this whole swinging thing and haven't gotten started yet. The one thing that really bugs me is safety! Obviously condoms for intercourse are a given. I read an article the other day about how rampant mouth/throat cancer has become because of HPV transmitted through oral sex. Oral sex with condoms is just about worse than no oral sex at all! Don't know what to do... how do you all handle safety?! Thanks!
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We are 40-somethings, less than six months into the lifestyle. But we've played plenty in that time. Met a couple a a party last weekend. 50-somethings, and plenty experienced. We got to talking and touching in the pool. While Mrs. DontStop and the male continued pool play, I led the female upstairs. Since it was obvious from the underwater action she was ready to mount me right there, I told as we headed up that we play safe. She said ok, but her husband didn't have any condoms. We played upstairs and later they joined us. After some time he was ready to mount Mrs and we stopped him and said "You gotta wrap it first." He didn't say much after that, and within in a few minutes he said he was taking a break and left the room, and us in a FMF situation. Did we fail here, not expressing safe play to him ahead of time?
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Swingers’ club ideal science lab: researcher | Posted | National Post Over two nights, the University of Ottawa nursing professor observed mostly affluent, 40-something couples mingle in the lounge area of a local swingers’ club, then migrate to upstairs rooms. Dispassionately recording “field notes” on the action, Prof. O’Byrne espied swingers who practised vaginal, anal and oral sex, and tried to gauge how often his research subjects used a condom. -
Why are people so hesitant to be surgically safe?
prometheius posted a topic in Let's Talk About Sex
I thought it would be interesting to find out other peoples views on the subject of safe sex/being surgically safe. N8tureGirl and I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year now, and we’ve found that most of the males of the couples we’ve played with are not surgically safe. I am V-safe and as of this month, N8tureGirl will be surgically safe also. What I would like to know is: Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for? After all, most of us here are 30 somethings or older. I have been frustrated by people, (men in particular), who seem to think that it should be our responsibility to make sure a pregnancy doesn’t happen. Condoms don’t always work, and most people say that they don’t like using them since it does change the sensations felt or not felt. To further my opinion on this matter, sterilization is much less expensive and uncomfortable for the men than the women. When we got into swinging, we didn’t think about the fact that we were going to have to spend thousands (literally), on having the Mrs. fixed so she could enjoy herself without that concern hanging over her head. We’ve been told by more than one man that he was afraid that having the procedure done would hurt. This is a WTF moment for me, is there no pain in bearing a child? What about the financial pain of raising an unplanned child, or worse yet, the emotional pain of terminating an unwanted pregnancy? To me, this smacks of being self centered and makes me want to tell the guy that he can play with us once he gets his business taken care of. Fortunately, that will soon no longer be an issue for us. I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue. -
How do you assess std risk? (And for those of you who would say use common sense, how about going into exactly what that means for those of us that don't have any.) I've asked a number of people, and some of the answers I have gotten thus far have been: "You look at how they are dress, and act." "You take into consideration where did you find them at [bar, online, through a friend, etc.]" "You just know." "You ask them how many partners they have been with. If they've been more than what I can count on my hands, and feet, then that's too many." "If she smells down there, there's probably something wrong with it."
