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I didn't see a poll for this one, so thought I'd add it. Mr. intuition and I have discovered that we are more of a separate room couple. This is fairly uncommon in our experience. We have put this in our ads, because we do want couples to know we're open to that - and even prefer it - but it may be a bit of a deterrent for couples who are same-room-only. We have to explain our rationale, that it's not that we don't care what our partner is doing, and it's not that we can't bear to watch it happening, it's that we like to focus on one partner at a time! We're not into that sensory overload thing that some people like about group sex. It's a little distracting. We're also not big into having an audience, either, even if it is our own spouse. We were just talking about this on the way home from a playdate last night, where we were all together in the same room. Mr. intuition mentioned the awkwardness of trying to "keep pace" with one another. If they're doing this, I guess we should be doing this, if they're doing that, we should be doing that. I mean, we know we don't HAVE to, but you feel a certain pressure to keep pace with one another's energy. After one half has worn themselves out on a go-round, they want to just take a break and recover, get a drink of water, get a snack to recharge, find out what the score is on TV, curl up and cuddle for a bit (yes, we love to cuddle), talk to each other, etc. Give it about 5-10 minutes and we're back at it again. But when everyone's in the same room, it's hard to relax like that if the other half is still going at it. We love the relaxed pace of each doing our own thing in separate rooms, giving each other a friendly slap on the ass on the way to the bathroom, poking our heads in the door and giving each other a smartass thumbs-up seeing they've fucked their partner into a state of blithering oblivion. ("Way to go, Hon!") And we like the kink of listening to the sounds coming from the other room, and how hit gets us going again, too. What's your preference, and why?
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For those who only do same room swap, what is your reason? Is it being uncomfortable with separate room for some reason? Or is it because you enjoy what being in the same room offers? Or something else entirely?
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Does any of you other newbies feel the same way i do when it comes to being in the same room with your husband, bf, or partner? I mean when we started into this, one of our rules was always to be in the same room, but a situation came up where we were seperated and i found it easier for me. I don't like my fiance watching me enjoy sex with another man. I can't get get into it. I also have a guilty feeling of being with another man in front of him. He says it does not bother him. it does not bother me to be in the same room with him and another girl, but i can't watch him brcause, yes it do get a little jealous. Especially when he is making her moan and groan. I rather for us to go do our thing with the person and share stories afterward. Am i trying to change the rules? and am i wrong for it? I asked for the newbies to answer this question, but i would also love to hear what others may have to say. Thank you all for your responses.
- 79 replies
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Rob and I (Julie) were standing in line at a new popular restaurant located in town about an hour south of us. This place doesn't take reservations, so we got drinks at the bar and stood in line to wait for a table. A cute couple about my age (32) was in line behind us. They were an attractive couple, and I started visiting back and forth with them. Rob was pretty quiet but friendly, making some small talk too (Rob is 52). The other couple, Jim and Deb, live about an hour south, so both couples were not "local." When we got to the head of the line, we would have had to wait longer for a table for two, but a table for 4 was available, so Deb and Jim joined us. Deb and Jim are charming people, young professionals, and we hit it off well. Deb asked about our tans, and we told them about boating on the big river lake on the Nebraska and South Dakota border. We generally sun in the nude west of the "point." We also had been to Hidden Beach Resort in Mexico recently. It's hot south of Cancun in the summer but good for nudists. We hate going to Mexico in the hurricane season. Deb and Jim had the impression nude resorts are swinger places. We told them they can be and usually/often are not. Just like all other people, nudists can be swingers too, and swingers aren't nudists necessarily. Nudism is different than swinging. We don't consider ourselves hardcore nudists or swingers, but we have done both, which didn't seem to shock Deb or Jim. We learned that Jim and Deb have been married about 7 years with 2 children, They were interested to hear we were "newly" weds and asked a lot about our age differences. After dinner, Deb and I exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and briefly discussed getting together again soon. Over the next couple of weeks, Deb and I (Julie) called back and forth and visited by phone. She always was interested in the nude boating and nude resorts that we had discussed when we first met and brought the subjects up on her own. I always mentioned that nudists are not necessarily swingers and swingers aren't necessarily nudists. We always seemed to end up discussing a bit about the range of swinging activities people engage in from very soft to very hard full swap swinging. I told Deb that Rob and I are occasionally fairly soft swingers, leaning more to nudism. But, we have very special and occasional full swaps with very special people (and even then condom use is required). After the couple weeks of phone calls, I asked Deb if they would join us for dinner again. We would drive an hour south and them an hour north to meet for dinner at a sports bar in a large motel/hotel complex. After dinner, we could get a nice motel room, bring a bottle of pinot to drink, "visit," and do a little more if all agreed and were very comfortable. Deb said she would talk to Jim, but that should be ok. When we met for dinner in the middle of the week, both of us girls were dressed in sundresses and sandals (mine had high wedge heels). The guys were in shorts and sandals, all very casual. Dinner went really well with Deb and Jim in the motel's attached sports bar with a couple glasses of wine each and lots of conversation and laughter. Going to a room together and the subject of swinging never came up. When we were nearly finished with dinner, I quietly brought up getting a room and taking the visiting and party there, as Deb and I had discussed in the phone calls. Deb became much jumpier and really nervous at this point, and Jim was nearly jumping up and down with excitement. Rob was playing it cool and detached, not pushing getting a room either way. Deb looked at Jim, looked back at me, and said the boys should get a room. Jim and Rob walked out to the motel's desk and arranged for a room. When asked for the type of room, Jim decided two beds. Rob and I had a cooler in the car with a couple of bottles of pinot, a few beers, and bottled ice tea. Deb and I went out to the parking lot while the guys were arranging the room and got the cooler from our car. Deb was really quiet and almost shaking. We all walked from the motel lobby out to the pool area and across to the east block of rooms towards our ground floor room with the door facing the pool. Deb and Jim lagged far behind Rob and me and were in deep conversation. We just walked on ahead and waited at the door for them. When they caught up with us, the final decision must have been made because when I said shall we go in, Jim said "yes," and Deb just nodded. She was so nervous, her voice was quivering when she tried to talk. Jim was almost jumping up and down like a little kid. Once in the room, Rob set to work open the wine and pouring the little plastic glasses we brought full. I sat on the edge of one bed, Rob stood at the bed's end, and Jim and Deb sat the club chairs by the room's window. We all sipped wine and made small talk. Deb was really nervous and jumpy. Rob and I actually could have busted out laughing but carefully controlled ourselves. We all were newbies one time or another, we told them. Don't ever do something you are uncomfortable with. After a half-hour or so, as I finished my glass of wine, I got up and went to the bathroom. Thinking about what to do, I slipped out of my sundress. Then I came out of the bathroom topless, wearing just my panties and sandals. Jim about bit a chunk out of his plastic glass. Deb would stare then look away. Rob just coolly asked if I wanted a refill of wine. Rob filled my cup and rubbed a bare boob, and I sat back down on the bed edge, facing Jim and Deb to visit more. Rob coolly slipped his sandals off and a bit later unbuttoned his Tommy Bahama (lucky) shirt. Sitting down next to me, we continued visiting with Deb and Jim, feeling each other up a bit. Some light kissing led to Rob slipping out of his shirt and me undoing his belt and unbuttoning his shorts. Rob runs 4 or 5 miles about 4 or more times and week and had started been lifting weights, so he is in good condition for his age (LOL). He tells me I keep him young (LOL). When I got Rob's hard cock exposed, Deb and Jim had both sat back and quietly started watching. Rob disengaged, stood up and dropped his shorts and underwear, pushed me back on the bed, and spread my legs. We made out with him on top for quite a while. Finally, I could feel his cock rubbing and very slowly teasing and pushing into my pussy, so I glanced over at Deb and Jim to see what they were doing. They were still just sitting and watching! WOW! Rob started to slowly stroke me, very full body contact, and very proper missionary style. I heard movement and opened my eyes. Jim had pulled/helped Deb to her feet and was working at getting her sundress off too. She was pretty hesitant, not helping Jim but not resisting him either. Jim had his shirt unbuttoned, and his shorts were down around his ankles. With Deb's dress finally off, Jim was giving her a full body nude hug with his hard dick pushing on her stomach. Rob continued to slowly stroke me as we both now were watching Jim and Deb get arranged to lay on their bed. Rob commented to them, "about time," and Deb's face and neck blushed the reddest red I've seen anyone blush in years. Jim was lying on top of Deb and appeared to easily slip in to start making love. At this point, I got Rob to roll off, and I got on top to "do him cowboy." I could really watch Jim and Deb screw that way. They were a bit distracted, watching my boobs bounce. When I asked them if they had been hitting the tanning beds, Deb, eyes tightly closed, said yes, ever since they had met us, they had been going to tan every other day. Everyone quieted down and really screwed away for awhile. I got off Rob, and he got me over on my hands and knees to do me doggie style. Deb and Jim lay still for a bit and watched us pretty closely as Rob bumped my butt. Rob finally pulled my hips back, thrust deep, and came. He held still quite a while and then pulled out and laid back down next to me. As we lay there, we watched Jim continue to bang Deb. Rob's right arm was under my shoulder and neck, and his hand was holding my right arm and hand in place. He used his left hand to start to fingerbang my cum-filled pussy and flick my clit as we watched Deb and Jim screw in the next bed. I lost interest in Jim and Deb as Rob worked my clit, and I came really loud and hard. Rob was proud of himself as I distracted Deb and Jim with all the noise and thrashing about. Jim said to us that he was having trouble coming and wondered if it was a performance issue due to us watching them. I moved away from Rob and stepped out of bed. I then laid next to Jim and Deb as he pumped her. When I touched her left breast, she stiffened then relaxed as I caressed and rubbed. Rob moved to the other side and Deb didn't stiffen when he started sucking her right nipple. Jim continued to stroke Deb. I felt Jim tense up and knew he was coming. Rob moved away from Deb and asked me if I wanted another glass of wine? I took it as a hint from Rob not to push Deb too much, so I moved away, sat up, and said yes. Jim rolled off Deb and laid next to her. I sat next to them and sipped the wine Rob handed me. He filled glasses for Jim and Deb too. Rob sat on our bed, and I sat with Jim and Deb on their bed, and we all sipped wine and visited, never commenting on all the sex, nudity, etc. Deb said that this was her first experience with watching another couple have sex. And, it was absolutely was the first time another couple had ever watched them. After a while, Deb said they should get going as it was the middle of the week, a workday the next day, and their babysitter had an hour's drive home. Deb went to the bathroom to clean up first. She didn't seem self-conscience about being nude and freshly fucked. When she came out, I went in. When I got out, Deb already had her dress back on (too quickly?). The guys were dressing, so I got dressed last with Deb and Jim each getting an eyeful. We all checked the room to be sure nothing was being left and pulled the covers up over the sheets. Rob carried our mostly empty cooler, and we walked out past the pool, bypassing the hotel lobby (Deb said she was embarrassed to be walking past the desk clerks). At our cars, we all said good night and hugged, and cheek air-kissed. Surprise of surprises, Deb told us that we should get together for dinner again sometime and do this again. Rob and I drove the hour north and home with big smiles on our faces. From what I saw, I think I might really enjoy Jim, and I know Deb is the type to get Rob going too.
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We all have our preferences when it comes to swinging. One of the big ones is "Same room or separate room" swinging. We had a poll on this very topic for years, but sometimes it's nice to start fresh and see what the current generation of swingers board members think about this topic. Votes are private, so share your opinion, even if you don't feel like following up with a post below.
- 23 replies
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Just curious, those of you who do full swap....how many of you insist on same room? I'd make this one of those polls if I could figure out how....lol.
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My wife and I were discussing fantasies and I am here trying to find out if what she asked for is something out there and if it would fall into the swinging lifestyle. She asked me to find out if there is a way in which we as a couple could watch another couple have sex. She said the first time she would want us to stay clothed and watch another couple. She admitted that if she liked it she could see being naked and possibly having sex in the same room, but strickly no touching between couples. Please no harsh responses. It is a real question and actually a very big step for us. Thanks
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Hi all, Ursula and I are planning on going to a club in the near future. We've chatted with a few people here and we've talked with each other. One point that we seem to be at odds with most swingers is as follows: It seems that the "typical" couples swap is initially same room sex. Alot of people are asking us if we're ready to watch each other. Well...is this is how I would envision a swap. We meet with a couple. We go to a restaurant/lounge type of place. Ursula and the other man go to a table, myself and the other woman go to a table and we eat/drink/talk maybe even dance, if it's available with our prospective partner for a while. I guess this could happen at a club as well...don't know. If everybody is agreeable, we continue on. At that point, it seems like, if we swap, everyone is urging us to do it in the same room...it's supposed to be a big turn on for me to watch Ursula and her to watch me. Well...maybe it is. But, is it strange or even dangerous (i.e. too much jealousy/attachment) for us to consider that we would like to be near to each other (i.e. adjacent rooms, where we could hear each other) without being right on top of each other and watching each other with another partner? I guess I'm just wondering why it's almost 100% assumed that, if we swap, I will be right there watching her get laid. Thanks all.
- 20 replies
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Just a thought that crossed my mind (boy for someone who has yet to even poke at the cherry I've got tons of questions) tonight. How do you feel about a newb couple, who won't swap? Not even soft swap. How would you feel, if you went to your favorite on-premise club, saw a couple obviously nervous, got to chatting, think the chemistry is there, but they tell you (before heading to the play area) that they're not willing to even soft swap. They'll do same room sex, and incidental contact won't (they think) freak them out, but that's as far as they'll go. Would you still consider going to play with them? Or do you not consider this "playing" and decline? Or, do you see the "deer in the headlights" looks, and stay clear of them, thus avoiding the situation entirely? Mind you, in my hypothetical situation above, they're up-front with you, when the conversation starts heading towards "let's play." Just as obviously, if you're not into the "voyeur / exhibitionist" of same room sex, I'd presume you'd gracefully decline, telling them "that's not something we're into." I'm asking, as (I hope) the Mrs and I will be that newb couple soon. Now, to be honest, I'm expecting little more than her and I will have a good time, maybe dance (although neither of us are dancers), have conversations with people at the club, maybe use the hot tub (outdoors, in Windsor, in February, with it expected to be below freezing...), but that's about it. But, I'd be curious to know how people who've "been there, done that, and more" feel about "nervous newbs." Thanks, Mr.
- 64 replies
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- exhibitionism
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Do you do both same room and separate room swinging? I have had couples ask me this of my hubby and I, and was just wondering if this is common or not?