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Showing results for tags 'self esteem'.
Found 16 results
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So I have been looking through the posts and see a lot of the "does size matter?", so I did some googling on it and found some rather disturbing posts about men wanting to commit suicide over it. Some already sadly have done just that, from what I could find these guys were still over 3.5 long - yes it’s smaller the average but Gee wiz taking your own life. Anyway they say that many more men have died because of the size thing then they know because no one has really done any studies on this. So my question is how the hell did we get to this? I see on this site some posters have said a big dick was life changing and others go on about more. Their husbands don’t seem to mind. This makes me think that the thinking behind a true swingers mindset must have some type of safety switch or something, and why can we not find their thought pattern and use it to help so many of these guys out there? For me I don’t want to see one more of these guys die because of some thing they can not do anything about. (well I don’t want any one to die for anything) What are your thoughts?
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I don't like my body. I love sex and how it makes me feel, but I don't like my body. Mr makes me feel incredible, he says he loves my body and to be fair there's nothing to suggest otherwise, he compliments me all the time, not just in bed. He touches me, always got a hand on my bum when we are out and about. But I don't always believe him. He buys me sexy underwear and has a hunger in his eyes is I'm wearing it or even naked. But I put it down to me being good in bed. I've been bigger than I am now and I've also been smaller, Mrs opinion of how I look has never once changed, but to be fair neither has mine. I'm hoping that over time my self confidence will grow, there's fantasies that I want to at least be confident enough about myself to at least consider doing (does that make any sense?) In my mind I'm a sexual goddess and live to share fantasies, in my eyes I'm a woman no one would ever want, except Mr. Does anyone else feel this way? How did/do you deal with it?
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This probably shouldn't bother me. The input from other readers would interest me. When my wife and I have sex she cums. Mildly would be a good word. When she has sex with other guys, she cums loudly, with spasms and shaking. These are wild orgasms. She has squirted with others, but never with me. (I have tried.) I don't think its about technique. I do understand the process, watched the videos, taken suggestions from the guys who made her squirt, etc. She says she doesn't get into squirting all that much, but she really seems to like it when it's happening. I suspect she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. She says that sex with me is the best, but I seriously doubt that. Now, I'm really not worried that she'll leave me for another guy. We've been together for a long time and have been very happy. So my question is: Am I making something out of nothing or should I be concerned? Thanks for your thoughts.
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I have been wanting to ask this for awhile. Guys are obsessed with their size. Too big or too small. Guys like to brag how many inches or question if they are smaller. I wonder if I worry too much about my size. I have never had a guy complain I am too big there. I don’t think a guy having sex will really ever complain lol. I look in the mirror and I see myself. Small breasts. Growing up I used to be envious of my friends developing more than me. My nose is big. My butt is flat. My hips wide. I am thin, maybe too thin. Then there was Down There. I just thought mine was ugly. Was I too big? Too long? Too loose? My clitoris too sticking out? I researched and read vaginas are about 4-5 inches inside. I found a toy my mother had that was 8 inches and after school I would play with it and it would go all the way in. Was my mother big too? I couldn’t ask her. I felt better when I read that like men I could get bigger too. I still obsessed with the visible size. Again no guy ever complained. It wasn’t until I played with other friends that I got to see up close others. I feel mine is looser on the outside and I hate what it looks like.
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- appearance
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What is it that makes you feel sexy and confident? I know Pet often says he feels sexiest after he's just gotten a haircut. I personally think he's freakin hot when I get to watch him work out.... I can't say what it is that makes me feel sexy and confident, clothes that just "feel right", sometimes just having my hair cut (if the cut turned out really well), having just had my nails done. A few minutes ago I was wearing casual slacks (for lack of a better word) and a printed t-shirt. I felt frumpy. We are heading out so I changed into a nicer pocket t-shirt and a pair of denim "petal pushers" (I can't recall the modern name for the short pants). I feel much better now. This isn't what I'd wear to the club or anything, but I feel comfortable and adequately sexy for what the evening has planned (drinks with another couple). So, what makes you feel sexy and confident? And what is it that makes your partner seem sexy and confident?
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So a few years ago I had all the confidence in the world. I have a fairly mellow personality, down to earth, 6 ft. tall about 230 lbs. and in shape (gym rat). That confidence went away when my ex wife cheated repeatedly and would tell me how much better they were because they were much bigger downstairs than I am (right about 5 inches erect). This crushed me psychologically, emotionally and almost spiritually. I left her and have moved on to the love of my life (grade school crush) and we're set to get married next year! Occasionally I struggle with the memories of my past because I never wanna experience that again. I've perfected my craft (of working with what I have more than just my junk) and my fiance tells me she loves me and "it" almost daily if not multiple times in the day which is nice. This has done great things for my confidence!! Here's the dilemma... The one thing I left out is that I'm a black man. I'm not small in any other way besides downstairs which is COMPLETELY opposite of the stereotype. I don't want to get into this and someone see me wanting to experience their first BBC and I let them sending me right back down that rabbit hole I came from. Am I over thinking this? Has anyone experienced this before if so what did you do and how did you get past it?
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We have been with 10-12 couples and more times than not the male half can't get hard. My wife is getting discouraged and has made comments like she is the problem. I've told her that she is not, she is 5'8", 145 lbs., 36DD, very pretty. Just wondering if anybody else seems to run into this? It really puts a damper on things.
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I was reading an old thread questioning if it was possible to go too far in trying to reduce your flaws in order to "market" yourself. Reading this made me wonder, how far do you go to minimize your flaws? Do you shoot for the absolute best angles, photoshop your love-handles away? What do you do to make your photos as attractive as possible in order to draw the most interest? -
A couple of things that we see a lot from folks who are new to swinging is a fear that they will be rejected due to what they perceive as some personal flaw, whether it be looks, weight or just not being forward enough. For those of you who have been swinging for a while, have you found that swinging has improved your self-image? Do you feel better about yourself? Or have you found that your early fears were well-founded?
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Hi everyone, I have a theory for the ladies. Sooo my husband and I did our first full bi-swap. It was VERY erotic and hot. I realized something interesting though about women and bisexuality. My experience with the other wife was great! Often times I hear women say "women know women better." I have to say being with a woman as a woman did feel different but not in a physical way. I thought a lot about it and here is what I think. Girls are very mean to each other. I know why ladies but seriously I think we really hurt each others self-esteem a lot. I think this is why female bisexuality is so common. We want to be respected and feel support from other women. When I was with the other wife I felt like every cruel thing others girls had done to me was expunged. All I could do was give my body over to this woman for the appreciation it deserved. It was a rush of emotion (not the attached kind). When I was younger I was always criticized by other girls for mild acne, big feet, and my style. Although I've cut a lot of those people out of my life I feel I am still scarred by that. When the other wife and I played with each other it was just amazing to accepted by her in a sexually powerful way. I do of coarse prefer men way more but I feel this woman filled in something that had been missing. Even though this woman was an experienced bi-wife she didn't make me cum any harder than any guy I've been with. My husband of coarse takes the prize though! What do you all think?
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- bi female
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First off, I have spent the last 5 or 6 days reading non-stop and I have totally related to so many things others have posted about. I have laughed my butt off at some of the things others have said too, some great storytellers/writers here. O.k so, My husband and I are fun, happy, friendly, successful, sexual people. We had clicked sexually ever since we met. I thank the universe I met someone who matches me in so many ways. Swinging has been a topic that has gradually evolved from fantasy to something we know we have to experience. We first talked about it at least 5 or 6 years ago, but recently have decided (after MUCH discussion) that we want to make it reality. We have agreed to start slowly with some soft swap and take it from there and communicate along the way to make sure we are both 100% enjoying every step of the process. Anyhow, my question is, I'm really nervous to take the first step. We have a couple we have exchanged info and pics with and we are setting something up for the new year. I'm totally excited but worried that I will meet these people for real and not be into it. How do I say that tactfully? I know I'm no supermodel and there will be people who are not attracted to me or my husband as well but I'm nervous about how to handle a turn down. Also, are we better off going to a club our first time maybe? Is that how i might get a little more comfortable with the whole scene to get started? And, one last thing, I know body image is somthing talked about alot but I'm curious if most people get completeley naked? I am a curvy, lots of tits and ass kind of girl who had 3 kids in four years so my body took a beating. I am reasonably fit, run at least 4 times a week and do half marathons a few a year, but my tummy is left looking like a bit of a battlefield Can I wear like a corset or hike up a skirt to cover just that lower belly? Or do I need to just get over it and deal until I save enough for a tummy tuck? lol. I know its my own issue but its sadly my main concern. I feel giddy and happy the last few weeks thinking about our future in swinging. Will that go away? I have trouble with my mundane routine, I'm in fantasy land all day long. Once I discovered there are lots of like-minded people out there its like a huge relief. I haven't even started yet, but its already improving my zest for life! LOL Thanks in advance, I hope I haven't asked too many repeat questions.
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- first date
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I am a single male and whenever I try to start a conversation with a couple through a personals ad everything goes well (I would like to think I am a very easy to get along with guy) until we exchange photos. Now in my opinion I am a attractive guy but far from special...just an average every day guy. I was once 300 lbs so throughout my younger years my self-esteem has taking a huge blow. I have lost a good amount of weight but still seems like my appearance is the ending factor in conversations. Is it possible I just run across fakes who are only wanting pictures? If anybody would like to see what I look like I would really appreciate an honest opinion. Only G-rated pics out of respect unless you ask otherwise. -
Hubby is overweight. He is 6'3" and about 280#. He said last night I would have a better chance swinging without him which I am not interested in. I am bi-curious. I have responded to 3 ads on lifestyles and no one has wrote back. Do we have to have paid membership to get messages?
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Ok Ladies, I have a very odd problem. Between September 05- July 06, I had six invasive surgeries on my right breast. They took a lot of tissue out during each, and I had to spend over a month after each one, packing a huge hole with gauze. They took all of the milk ducts and my nipple no longer will get hard. In fact, there is a major size difference now. I had a partial mastectomy spread out, to make it short. It wasn't cancer, although I am high risk, but it came close to killing me. I do have pics from the first, least severe surgery, after that, it just got too depressing. My concern comes from being uncomfortable displaying all of my chest during play. I am a mom, and I gained 65-70 lbs. when I was pregnant, my only option to fix the truly loose skin is a tummy tuck, the consultation with the laser expert explained all of that. How can I find appealing outfits that will allow me to still feel sexy without having to show my battle scars? I kept a low-cut shirt on during all three threesomes and J has already told me that he would prefer for me not to wear so much during play. I want to have fun without constantly thinking about it! I can get reconstructive surgery, but we have had to wait because it wasn't supposed to come back after the first surgery, so we can't be certain it won't come back. I had one of the greatest doctors though, Dr. Macon, the director of breast surgery for John Hopkins.- 27 replies
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One of the positives in this lifestyle is how it helps self-esteem... One of the negatives is how it can hurt self-esteem... When you guys have things happen - as silly as they may be - that kind of get in deep and bug you quite a bit - how do you deal with it? We recently had a situation where I was really rejected pretty coldly and it sort of bugged me. I honestly am not used to that - not trying to be cocky or anything, but we tend to connect with the right people I guess. We've had people kindly say "no" which we understand - no chemistry, no play, no problem... But we had all actually gotten to a room, played a bit and then it turned into a "reject the monkey" fest... This was a couple of weeks ago and it still kind of eats at me - and I wish I could turn it off... Any suggestions? Any encouragement? I know I'm not perfect, but seriously, couldn't she have said so before we all bothered to go upstairs and get naked? Maybe she's just scared of purple... I hesitate to post this because it gives folks a chance to take a pretty heavy swipe at me, but it is a legitimate question because I am sure it has happened to all of us at one time or the other... Heck - if a chick would reject me, she'd reject anyone Hehe... *sigh* Just kidding... help? -
Hi, I am new to this and my husband and I are interested in softswinging and I have a few questions. I read the ads for swingers in the DFW Texas area, only I am a little nervous about how I look. I would consider myself bbw, only not huge or nothing, anyway, I guess I am a little self-conscience about how I look. Plus I hear about how it is formed thru friendship, only how do you go about finding that friendship? Are the posts in the ad part of the webpage ok? I am so afraid of meeting some weirdo. Not that they aren't ok, it's just not what I want ya know. With me being new to all of this, I want to step into this slowly, and not be pushed. Anyway sorry to rattle on, but I would like to find a couple and they be a nice normal couple like us and are ok to softswing and let me go slow at this, plus not mind the way I look. And if it goes farther, then I can decide later. If anyone could respond I would appreciate it. Everyone in this board has seemed so nice and I felt really comfortable asking. Thanks to All.
