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Showing results for tags 'sexual ability'.
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Question for you guys and out there (ladies feel free to chime in too!). My wife and I recently experienced our 6th MFM experience. All have been extremely hot and satisfying not only for us, but for the single too. I have noticed that 3 of the 4 single males that we have played with had some incredible stamina (or I guess what I consider incredible), meaning they were able to fuck for at least one hour without their first orgasm . Is this normal for most guys? I can honestly say that the longest I have been able to hold out with my beautiful wife has been between 20-25 minutes . Is there a measurement out there that defines what is normal, abnormal, and what is premature? Don't get me wrong, I loved the fact that these guys could go for so long with my wife. They made her cum three or four times before they each had their first orgasm. The first couple of times I felt kind of jealous in the fact that these guys could satisfy my wife so many times, but I am completely over that (hell, it has made our lovemaking a lot more exciting and to watch her in the throes of passion gets me going anyway). I just want to know how is it possible for these guys to last this long?? Thanks!
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We all know how much people vary in talent for sport or music or dancing etc both before and after training. Indeed some people are better as beginners than others will be after years of practice. Take the effect of simply drawing a bow across violin strings. It can sound like a tortured cat or something heavenly and deeply moving. Now the same thing no doubt applies to sex. The stroke during intercourse may have just as much variation in terms of how good it feels to the woman as the sound of a violin does. There must be big differences in how skillfully men move their cocks in and out. There is the skill of each stroke and the skill in being able to vary it just right as things build i.e. to make music inside you. Of course the size and shape of his cock must also make a difference but most women seem to say its much more about how he uses it. In your experience ladies just how much variation is there in thrusting skill out there? Do swingers seem any better than non-swingers? Does practice and more variety improve a man's skill or do most men never learn anything? If possible could you identify what makes thrusting good or bad? What difference does all the stuff that happens before any thrusting make? What about other things he may do during thrusting? I'm aware that a lot of other stuff from talking to touching to kissing and oral action happens too and that there are huge differences here too. I'm also aware that looks have an impact on the overall experience as well. However I don't want to make this discussion too broad. Lets talk about thrusting skill for now. If other skills contribute via preparation or atmosphere creation then mention it.
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There is an active post entitled "What makes an unforgettable blow job?" How about a discussion about what makes receiving oral unforgettable for a woman? My list: - I like getting oral while lying on my back on the bed while you kneel on the floor. Let's get comfortable first. - Don't turn me down just because someone has recently been down/in there. I may not be fresh, but I'm always clean. My girls don't have a problem with it. If it's good enough to put your dick in there, it's good enough for your mouth (except my bum; you don't have to lick my bum hole). - Don't jump in immediately. Start by looking and admiring everything I have down there: my hair, my outer labia, the coloring of my inner lips, my clit, my vaginal opening. Turn the desk lamp on, shine it on my pussy, tell me how beautiful it is. - Once you get started, use both your lips and your tongue. Go back and forth measuring my response. - My clit is big, but please don't suck on it like you're trying to suck the life out of it. - Alternate between slowly putting full tongue pressure on my clit, especially from the left and right with quickly flicking across it. - It's nice to have your tongue occasionally go across the opening of my vagina, but trying to stick it inside like a dick is not going to work, it's too small. - Gently slip your index and middle fingers into my vagina. - Even more gently and once some juices have run down, slip your ring finger into my bum. - With your other hand, play with my tits while your licking and kissing my pussy. Don't squeeze my nipples too hard! You can be a little rough with my breasts overall, but just gently brush across my nipples. - I usually don't give instructions while getting oral, but if I do, listen and follow directions. - Continue whatever you are doing at the time I come well through my orgasm. And don't be backing off because something is shooting out of there, sometimes it happens. You should be flattered. - Remember that unlike you (if you're a guy), me having an oral orgasm isn't going to diminish my capabilities for penis-in-vagina intercourse. - After I say "stop," Stop! You can keep your mouth on my pussy, but don't try stimulating me for like two minutes. After I recover we'll decide what we're going to do next - more licking, fucking, moving on. - Optional - I'll get on all fours on the bed, you get underneath and lick/kiss me while I take a dick doggie. You can skip the fingering steps above. You can play with one of my tits, but leave one for the other guy. I'll suck your dick/lick your pussy for a while, but the closer I get to cumming, it's all me, I need to breathe.
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Hi all, Thanks for reading this post. As this has almost caused, and still may result in my wife and I divorcing, I am hoping to find some good answers with you experts, from education and experience, here on the forum. Ever since we were engaged, I have been turned on by the idea of having another guy have sex with my fiancee/wife, mainly watching to two of them and even taking some pictures or video. As you probably know what's coming next, my wife has ranged from ambivalent to outright saying no to actually considering it while we were having sexual problems over the past ten plus years. We rarely have sex and this is mainly due to sexual trauma on my part. I thought it would be a great short or even long term solution to having her sexual needs met while I worked on my trauma in therapy. However, while the cause of my trauma has been greatly reduced and in many ways totally healed, I still have this desire to see my wife with another man, especially an aggressive assertive even DOM. Due to my sexual issues, I have a very hard, pun intended, time being on top and assertive with both my needs and in taking charge during sex, which is what my wife wants. We've tried years of therapy that has not solved the problem and actually left both of us frustrated on many levels from sex to just our daily lives as a married couple. I tried a few times to add another guy and let's just say the results have been less than successful, once resulting in a separation for several months. I'm really not sure where this desire to see my wife with another man comes from but it has nothing, so far as I can tell, from my personal sexual experiences or trauma from childhood and my therapists have also come to the same conclusion. The desire is so strong that I become erect almost instantly when thinking about my wife having sex with another man or reading some of the stories here about swinging wives. Whatever the reason, it's very strong and I would have no hesitation if she wanted to meet another guy tomorrow so long as it didn't affect our marriage or end our sex life, as pathetic as it is. Ideally, it would improve our sex life and for sure leave her sexually satisfied knowing that if I can't please her and bring her to orgasm, she has other options that are safe for her and not secretive. I do want her other lover to cum inside my wife while I watch or find out afterwards. Any and all advice, on and offline, is greatly appreciated. I sense at this point after many years of false starts and very very little sex, she is just about open to anything including divorce but if bringing in another man can prevent that for both our sake and our children, that would be ideal. Thanks so much. P.S. There's no real cuckold desire to this because I still want to have regular sex with my wife once I can engage in sexual intercourse regularly but would be fine with a long term lover or more if I can't ever heal from my sexual trauma so I can please my wife sexually on a regular basis. -
Does your significant other go wild with strangers more than with you? There are more than a few posts around here that it seems (from the posts) that some SO’s find telling the world and their SO’s that this stranger's cock is amazing and/or the best sex they have had based on the size and skill of it, or they actively go looking for a dick that is way bigger then their SO's - what message do you send to them (your SO) and do they just say it's ok because now you have made a statement that they can never be as good as this stranger - can you tell? I find this rather distasteful to say the least. I can not even think when I would ever say that a chick I had sex with was better than my own wife - different yes, better no way. Also if you cannot give your SO your best performance at home then what is the problem? I know many will disagree with my viewpoint and that's fine with me, but I think your sex life should be better at home by miles than with someone you may of just met. Regards.
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Is your spouse the best lover you have ever had? -
I came here looking for information about swinging. My wife was approached by a coworker, who is a hard-core swinger, about us going to a club with them. I read posts about other experiences. Apparently, the wife lead the husband to it and she does the hard-core dominatrix stuff. After talking about it, we aren't ready for that level of intensity. We're in our early 50's, both decent weight and take care of ourselves. I read a great post where a lady advised people to try the water, not "do a cannonball" into the pool, and that makes sense to me. A while back, we had a get together at our house. It was somewhat sexually charged. We were playing a non-sex-based game, and the ladies were giving sexual answers and the atmosphere was very sexy. We have decided we'd like to explore our sexual development without "doing a cannonball." I've gotten feedback that I don't come off as a highly sexual person, that I come off as somewhat professional and formal. (My wife is in higher education and she comes off somewhat as the professor type, even though in private she's like being in bed with a wildcat.) I would like to explore that side of myself, but I'm not ready for the intensity and risks of full swinging. Could we please have some suggestions on how to further the sexually charged atmosphere at get-togethers, without going into a full-swing environment? Perhaps suggestive games, or whatever. I searched for games on the forums, but the ones I found were more advanced than we're ready for. (Our advanced swinger friends won't be there.)
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About Us: My wife & I met 6 years ago when we were 30. Right away we both connected, she was smart, gorgeous and shared many common interests. I thought to myself why is a woman like this single there has to be a catch. After a few days, weeks she opened up to me and told me she had an anxiety issue (which was noticeable but not OCD) and she was a virgin still. My now wife had many boyfriends but nothing serious and was waiting for that special someone. She has however had oral with another woman 2 years before we met. I was very patient and helped my wife get over her anxiety issues (without meds), and respected her "no sex" wishes. My wife had no problem with nudity over the years but very basic hands-on foreplay during this time. Fast forward 3 years and I was that special someone, my wife was now no longer a virgin! At first things were great she was curious and we had sex countless times a day, week, month. All positions, all places there was nothing stopping her. The Problem: During this time that we started having sex I noticed she wasn't into "foreplay". She was more of a hands on woman, and didn't like to use mouth. She is also extremely ticklish all over her body so me going down on her was also out the question, I was only allowed hands-on also. Then came rules, never ever under any circumstances will she ever do Anal, and she doesn't like "doggie style". She was more of a 3 position woman. My wife (I think) has major anxiety over having an orgasm that she won't admit to me. She doesn't like the "pee feeling" and when she squirts (which is often when I am on top of her) she doesn't like getting the sheets all wet. When she is about to orgasm she locks up. - When I am on top of her she closes her legs and/or locks her hips which hurts me - When she is on top of me she has her bum so high in the air it feels like I am falling out of her 80% of the time, I don't enjoy it and go soft - We can do scissors/sideways but after awhile her legs get tired At this point I am not enjoying our "sex experiences" and tried to talk to her. My wife informs me that she believes that she missed out on "experiencing and exploring" sex in her teen years when all her friends were doing it. So I take a few ideas off the top of my head to try and help her the best I can. I get her some couples porn, get her some books like Kama sutra. I even bring her to a adult store to buy some toys to explore with. I tell her to be open and honest with me, and will help her explore. Swinging #1: While out one day, my wife asks me if we want to go over to her friends place for a few minutes. While there it was quite apparent that my wife had talked to her close friend about our "sex issues". Her friend gently eases into a conversation that maybe if my wife explores with other people and not just me she could possibly "learn" or get the "sex experience" that she is striving for. My wife informs me at this point that her, and her friend were interested in "Swapping husbands" as they don't want to feel like they were cheating and asked my opinion. I originally said I had no opinion. I think I was shocked at first to say the least. My wife wanted to have sex with another guy, and her friend wanted to have sex with me. My wife (who had been doing some research) later that week shows me a clip from "Playboys Swing" which got me interested in the lifestyle. As long as we are open, honest, and safe .... I tell my wife that I am interested but not setting this up, she had to do the work. Happily she agreed. Later that week my wife goes over to her friends place, only to return an hour later. When her friend and my wife brought it up with her husband he was quick to say NO. He said there was no way he would be able to "perform" in front of another guy. Before my wife could suggest separate rooms, he asked my wife to leave so he could speak to his wife. Since that night my wife has only had Facebook contact with her friend and it seems to have put a strain on their friendship. Swinging #2: My wife suggests we put an Ad onto a local website to see if any random NSA couples were interested. Although we got lots of emails from males wanting to watch, video tape, join in, only 1 couple in (south eastern BC Canada) replied. We sent them our semi nude, faces blocked, pictures and never heard from that couple again. Present Time: About 6 months has passed since the whole Swinging topic has come up when we put ads on a website. My wife still has the same "sex issues" listed above, yet now recently my wife has once again started seriously talking about partner swapping. She has suggested in the past week we look for local couples, advertise, look for clubs, or even travel to meet our needs. She seems more knowledgeable then me in this swinging lifestyle (Good ole Google brought me here) I really don't know how I can even approach any of my friends with this topic. I have a few concerns: 1) My wife missed out exploring with sex partners growing up as mentioned, and now that she is sexually active, and so mindset on this swapping that I am worried that if I don't agree that she will just do it anyway. She has said she wants to sleep with another man besides me once in this lifetime many times. I love my wife but when she went behind my back asking her friend to "swap husbands" I think a bit of me felt maybe I don't know my wife as well as I think I do. 2) I am worried that if she is not giving me a great sexual experience that it would be a disaster if she tried with another partner. I love my wife and have patience, where as a lot of people I know including close friends have zero to no patience. I wouldn't want to sleep with someones wife and get enjoyment while they got disappointment. 3) Am I going about this the wrong way? Should I accept this is the way my wife is and adapt? 4) Did I put too much pressure on my wife too soon, and she is doing this for me? Even though I have concerns she wants to go through with it? A year ago I was all for it after thinking about it, now not so much as I have concerns. Would like to hear from some experienced people, would you get together with us knowing some or all of this? What are your thoughts and any advice. Summary TLDR: My wife was a virgin when we met (besides an oral experience with another woman), and gave herself to me. Our sex life hasn't been the greatest to suit my needs, but seems to satisfy hers. No Foreplay, and lots of rules. After trying to help her and educate her more in sex, she talks with friend(s) who suggest she try getting more experience from another partner. My wife suggests she doesn't want to cheat on me so her friend suggests Swinging. After failing to convince a friends husband for a swap, and failed local ads the subject is dropped. Now my wife all of a sudden wants to swing again (swap partners) and she seems to have been doing a lot of research recently, but I now have issues. My wife also informed me she wants to have sex with at least 1 other person in her lifetime. I feel silly posting this to strangers, so I appreciate the time to read this, if you have anymore questions I would be happy to answer. Thank you, Kam Couple. -
If you had something done to you sexually by the other wife or husband of a couple, do you tell you SO that they did something soooo good that it was the best ever, better than even you SO. If you do tell your SO, how do you bring it up or tell your SO?? I am interested in hearing from both sides on this issue. Thanks everyone! -
I was chatting with someone I might possibly like to meet. They told me they have very little experience giving oral because, in their words, it was not something they had been interested in doing in the past. I like oral a lot, giving and receiving. They say they are now interested in giving. They of course love receiving. If someone is not going to enjoy going down on me that is a deal breaker. Would you meet someone if they told you this? I have made this gender neutral so anyone can respond! -
We occasionally become interested in a couple who appeal to us in several ways but either the man or the woman, when they are "put to the test", prove to be lacking in sexual technique. I loose interest quickly. But my wife has sometimes decided that a man is "teachable". Examples: the man who did not know how to kiss and the man who would crumple, after a half hour of increasingly desperate pelvic thrusting, into a fetal position despondent over the idea that we was not able to achieve an orgasm. She very seldom succeeds in turning an issue like this around. I have asked her why she even tries. She says she does not know. So here is a question. In the context of swinging, are women more apt to try to change guys to their liking than guys are likely to make the effort to change women? -
Hello, We've been in the lifestyle for about a year. We've really enjoyed it, and it's changed our lives for the better in countless ways. However, we're having some issues with the style of sex that lifestylers seem to want and expect from us. Perhaps we're a little vanilla in our own right, but neither of us have experienced the type of techniques as we have with the couples we've met in the lifestyle. After talking about it this morning, we thought that we would post this question to the swingersboard community and see if what we're experiencing is typical of swingers in general, typical of swingers in our area, or just a run of bad luck on our parts. Let me start by saying we're not judging anyone's style or technique. We fully understand that everyone has their way of doing things and that they do what they enjoy. It could be that lifestylers tend like it one way, and it's just not our thing. Please understand, we're also not saying EVERYONE does what I'm going to be describing, but it has been the most common technique. I'll get to the meat of things: We've been with about 15 couples in the past 11 months. It seems that the vast majority of the people we've been with like a faster style of sex. The best way to describe it is to compare it to what you would see in pornos. Go fast, go hard, and pound her until she's sore. We're both 40 and have both been with our share of partners. We both think we were good lovers and neither of us ever had any complaints. At the same time, neither of us had really experienced anything like this in the vanilla world. We both tend to prefer slower and sensual style of sex -- not that there's not a place for going faster on occasion, but it was never like it is in the lifestyle -- where I've had women pace me (moving my hips) at a quick clip from literally the first thrust. Mrs. O'swinger always felt she gave a good BJ, but the guys she's run into in the LS seem to want to (as she describes it) "f*** her face" -- thrusting quickly in and out of her mouth. She doesn't really care for that. It's all just a little too much for us. It's too fast and not very sensual. We find it animalistic and impersonal. We both feel a little out of our element. So, here's what we want to know: Is this the norm? Do you find that this is what most LS'ers want as well? Is this what you enjoy? We are NOT looking for advice on finding compatible couples. This is the first step in doing exactly that. We just want to get a handle on how common this is so we know how to approach getting what we want. If we hear that this is the preferred style of sex in the LS, we'll handle things one way; if we find it's just been a run of bad luck on our part, we'll handle it another. Thanks for the input!
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OK, at the risk of being crude, has anyone ever been with someone who didn't know how to fuck? I ask that question because I have been with that person. She was an absolute "10". A friend, a sweet heart, a second marriage to a good friend of mine. She was in the experimental stage and swinging with whoever she determined they would swing with. She had two kids from previous marriage. She has been around the block so to speak. One afternoon when we came back to our house and the kids went to sleep. The ladies were talking and determined that they would have each others spouse. We spouses did not disagree. She said told my wife she wanted to fuck me. My wife said "OK" bless her heart. She and I went up to the bedroom. The first kiss was an open mouth tongue slapping kiss that was not really a kiss I've ever had or would care to have again. She got on top of me immediately, sat there and told me to tell her when I would cum so she could suck it out of me. We went for awhile, eventually being bored I turned her over. She resisted it for a moment and then she went with it. I told her I was coming and she slipped out from under turned over and sucked me. That can never be wrong. Then I think she planned on that being it. However I stayed hard and put her back on me until for a seemingly endless time until her Hubby and my wife opened the door and he said "we have to go". The worst fuck with a "10" or a "1" I've ever had. I think about it all the time. Has anyone had that experience?
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If you males encounter a female that doesn't "cum" at the drop of a hat, that you actually have to work at to figure out what makes her tick - do you see that as a challenge or a waste of time? I'm obviously in this category, in over 18months only two males (apart from hubby) have given me an orgasm. I have a ball playing, am very active and the males always leave satisfied and hubby always makes sure I'm satisfied either during or afterwards, he almost always brings the visiting female to orgasm. The only successful males have been those that have been frequent playmates. I wonder if the others just saw it as a waste of time after the first attempt? -
I was wondering how would the man in a couple feel if another man makes his wife have more orgasms than he has and they were also more intense than anything she has ever felt before from sex?. Do you think this will cause a break in the marriage or will it make it better? I ask this because I know some techniques that can do exactly what I described but I don't want to cause a rift in a relationship. When I do it with a single woman I don't have to worry about her significant other getting mad at her constantly thinking about the orgasms I gave her but if it's a couple I don't know if this is the same case. The techniques I use require a lot of exercises on my part to build strength and can't be accomplished in a week and some men might not even feel like doing the work and I'm worried the women might try to cheat with me to get these orgasms and I'm not into that. I really want to try some group sex with this knowledge because I love to see a woman in total ecstasy but I don't know if it's a wise thing to do. Can anyone help me out?
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What is the best way to make a guy cum just by oral? My guy doesn't like to have intercourse when I have my period but I still want to make him cum. So here are the questions. How do I make him cum with oral? How long should it take? I'm always giving him blowjobs and he says it is great but he doesn't cum. And also, do guys like to do it when the girl has her period. Intercourse and/or oral?
