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Showing results for tags 'showing interest'.
Found 4 results
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My wife and I have been exploring the LS for about a year now...we spent most of the first year trying to meet couples one-on-one (or I guess, two-on-two), and while we did meet some nice people, we also found that it was very hard to find people we were compatible with. So several months ago, even though we're not club/party people otherwise, we decided to start going to some of the local meet & greets and LS clubs in our area. We've found this a MUCH better way to meet new people, but because we're new to the scene and not really the "party" types otherwise, we generally wait for others to approach us, rather than introduce ourselves. Occassionally we'll see a couple we recognize (from pics) online and introduce ourselves, but the majority of the time we just wait for people to come to us. While we have met some great people, we're worried that others may think we're standoffish or not interested. Perhaps more importantly, when we do get into a conversation with a couple we're interested in, we're never sure what to say/where to take the dialogue to show them that we're "into" them. We usually wind up saying "Nice meeting you" to the couples we're not interested in, and something a little more overt like "Great meeting you...hope to get to chat again/see you later in the evening" to couples we ARE intrested in, which we guess might sound like a disinterested comment to some. So while I'm sure there have been other threads to address this, we were wondering if anyone could give advice (if you're a "quieter" couple, we'd love to hear how you've dealt with things) on the best ways to both initiate conversations and (more importantly) let a couple know your interested without coming off as sexually aggressive. Thanks in advance! -
How to show/determine interest at 1st meet
2 in C-bus posted a topic in Finding People to Swing With
We are going on our first couple/couple "date" this weekend. We were invited to a social at a vanilla bar a few weeks ago by a different couple. We went with the intention of just meeting a few couples. We did not, and never had the intention of playing that evening, though we did get along quite nicely with the coulpe that invited us. The no playing rule we set for ourselves (and informed the other couple about before we met) really worked out well-it took all the pressure off. Another couple has invited us to dinner this weekend. They are pretty new to the LS just like us. This time we have no rules against playing. In fact, we'd like to play if the connection is there. We have our signals worked out for if we would like things to progress past the restaurant. My question: how do we guage the other couples interest? Short of asking them "wanna go get nekkid?" In our email contacts with this other couple all that has been discussed is the ladies playing with each other-it's what both couples are in to right now. Should Mrs. 2 make the first move? Any lines that work well? Thanks. -
The social we went to this last weekend gave us a really good chance to see a different type of layout and how different choices in seating/standing/placement can affect the way others perceive your level of approachability. This is based solely on how we perceived others... Sitting at the bar with your back to the room - unapproachable. We saw at least 2 couples remain in this position for much of the night and while we would have loved to approach them we felt very uncomfortable doing so, as they were giving us the vibe that they were not interested in what the room had to offer. Eventually, one of the couples finally turned their bodies so that they were facing each other instead of the bar, that gave us the opportunity we needed and we did introduce ourselves and had a good time chatting with them. Sitting in a booth - this venue had booths as well as high top tables. It seemed to us that those couples who went towards a booth as their choice of seat did not want to be bothered. They wanted privacy, as they seemed to be closing themselves off from the group. We did not approach any couples sitting in booths. Sitting/Standing at a high top table - approachable. When we did approach these couples we stood, unless invited to sit (and then only if we were comfortable with the idea of staying there for a bit). Patio seating - this venue had patio tables, which is where most of the smokers stayed. We wondered out there occasionally just to see who was out there and what was going on. It was easy enough to talk to people IF they were not sitting in a large group already appearing to be in their own world. What other situations have you seen that have affected the approachability level of a couple/single in a club/social setting? Do large tables over small tables make a difference? What about hot tubs? Sofas? One of our favorite clubs had a couple of sofas in the social/dance area. It always seems like two couples manage to take over that area and if you attempt to sit there (even if only one couple is sitting there) you are informed that those seats are taken (evidently the sofas are highly coveted in this particular area). However, there are also sofas in a conversation areas and those seem more open with those sitting there more approachable.
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My question to the more experienced swingers out there (especially the ladies) is this: what qualities are you looking for in the other couple (especially the man) when you have your first face-to-face meeting over drinks or dinner? Where is the line between flirting and plain old creepiness? I'm pretty shy and unexperienced at flirting, so I tend to play it safe and I'm afraid I'm just coming across as boring. We've had a few meetups to date, and in subsequent email exchanges they always show obvious interest in Mrs. Fuse but rarely any acknowledgement that I was even there. Any tips on ways I can open up some and be a little more attractive to the ladies without being phony? I'm not trying to be whiny, I'm just trying to keep from holding us back.
