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What the hell is wrong with single men in this lifestyle? My wife and I recently decided to seek out a single guy for some occasional threesome fun, and besides the usual morons who replied and bragged about being a “dominant bull” (GOODBYE!!!), we had a few promising replies who initially abided by what we stated we required. I (husband) do the initial screening, chat with the guy for awhile, where I set the ground rules, including that he’s already gotten all the pictures (G-rated) he’s going to get, and to show respect for my wife. I then have my wife communicate with him directly (her desire). Invariably, the guys then lose their minds, request naked photos, try to get sexually graphic, etc. They literally fuck up a free lunch, because they can’t control themselves. What the eff is wrong with these guys?? Abide by our rules, be respectful, and you can possibly have regular NSA sex with a gorgeous woman, but they still manage to fuck it up. <rant off>

Do single guys really think that writing on their profile that they are a dominant bull is going to get them lots of responses? It almost seems like maybe they watch to much porn thinking every woman out there that likes sex is looking for guys to dominate them and all the wives in couples must have some limp dick loser for a husband that has no idea how to please them. For us at least as soon as a guy writes anything about being a dom he is quickly taken off the list as a possible extra. It is a huge turn off for her. She knows how to please a man and does need to be told or pushed to do anything. There is nothing special or sexy about a man that can dominate a woman. It is actually pretty lame. She prefers givers over takers. We have on all of our profiles no interest at all in dom men, but yet they always message anyways thinking they will be the exception. When we tell them not interested at all in dom men they usually say something like I don’t have to play that way. Well that’s nice, but she is not into men that want to play that way. She can and does do better.

Many years ago I dated a girl who got me into swinging. We broke up when I moved to a different state for my career. I really miss the lifestyle. As a single guy, how do I find couples who are looking for someone like me? Note... I am straight. I just like sex with a couple. I like to watch and I like being watched.

WTF???? Yeah so I'm only two years into this lifestyle...but STILL...I've seen it every time I go to a public swing club. Tonight it annoyed me to no end. I'm in a room...WITH THE DOOR CLOSED...AND A FOLD-UP CHAIR SORTA WEDGED IN FRONT OF IT and there are signs EVERYWHERE saying NOT to open closed doors. This fucking perv pushes the door open---looks in and says "Oh excuse me" I could see if he was WITH a woman--and he was looking for an empty room. But it was the same freak I saw walking around jerking off at every piece of ass he saw. THAT'S IT - I'm done. No more public clubs...only private house parties for me! These PATHETIC single men are annoying.

Wife met a nice man about 6 weeks ago. They hit it off very well but since then he has become very demanding of my wife. They go to concerts together and nice restaurants and they have a ball. However, his new rules are " When they are together I am not to text her or call her while she is with him "And" I am not to go into any restaurant or bar if I see my car in the parking lot...( Note we live in the same neighborhood and go to the same places to hang out ) Wife says he gets upset when I text her or calls. So last week end I drove by my favorite bar and there is my car in the parking lot( We have two cars but they are mine ) so I parked and went into the club. He had a fit!! Wife was upset. Wife said "Get out Get out my boyfriend does not like you here so get out"...He just sat there refusing to look at me or be friendly. Wife again says "Get the fuck out of here he does not want you around"! I said "I've been coming here for 26 years and I am not leaving" so I was polite to her boyfriend and said "Nice to see you" and I went to the end of the bar and had a nice drink. The wife and boyfriend left in 45 minutes and I didn't see my wife until 6 in the morning. Then they went to a concert and a day and a half later she comes home all upset. He want to have sex with her but he put his foot down "I do not want to be friends with your husband and he must never ever contact you when you are with me"..He then went on to say he hates our life style and says she is treated like a whore by all our friends and he is going to not deal with me ( The husband ) or our other friends at the bar. ( There are other people like us ) Again he told her "Tell your husband to never ever approach us when we are together because when you are with me you belong to me"..Wife is worried about him...He tried to kill himself a few years ago and another time got super drunk and hurt someone...He did time and was not allowed to drink during probation... Now he uses my car, Credit cards, ( To make reservations ) and never drives my wife anywhere. Wife likes him and he is good to her but when they are together I am treated like dirt. Wife comes home and cries because she is ashamed by treating me terrible when she is with him. ( You know the...Get out!! Get out!! He doesn't want you here...That type of thing ) Lol...What a situation I am in.

Let me preface this first by telling you a little about us. We are a married couple with some experience in the lifestyle. We have been with single female before and soft swapped with other couples in the past. We enjoy same room as well. Recently we have decided to try the MFM experiences. We have had only one and it was very good and everyone enjoyed themselves. The other night we were at a party and my wife found a single male she was attracted to. There were several play rooms at the event and we all three adjoined to one of the rooms. There were others engaged in various play scenarios. The wife and her new friend were going at it pretty heavy and I was left to kind of watch which for a while is okay with me, but sooner or later I figured to become an active participant. Here is where things start to get strange.....The room had mulitple people in it and he kept closing the door since he was close to it. Now, I am in the room and don't think all that much of it. The three of us are now involved, but he starts to pull the wife away from me into different positions so that she can't pay attention to me. He is aggressive but not overly rough. I went out of the room to get a bottle of water and the door locked behind me. Now they were the only two in the room. After about 30 minutes and no way to get back in there, I knocked loudly on the door and he opened it. I kicked him out and said party is over get out now! We have decided to never play with single men again because of this. It's couples only or not at all. One bad humiliating experience is enough to never allow it again. How would others have handled it?

We got a message from a guy yesterday on one of the sites we are on that said “ I could fuck it I am in town for the day”. Open his profile and there is next to nothing on it and just the usual cock pic. Normally I just ignore these kind of idiots, but instead I replied “ we will take a pass. There is nothing about your profile that is appealing and we have real lives and don’t just drop everything to hook up with random people we know nothing about”. His response was “ well this is a swingers site after all”. Which made me realize that many people seem to think that if people are swingers they will fuck anybody and everybody. This misconception is about the furthest thing from the truth for us anyways. It does help explain why so many people including some couples out there think they can put absolutely no effort into their profiles, themselves or talking to people and people will just be desperate to have sex with them. Our experience is that swingers are not just sex fiends that fuck anyone that is available. At least not the ones that we would be interested in. If anything we are even more selective, because there are so many options out there.

MY ADVICE TO SINGLE MEN: I have been involved in the swinging lifestyle for well over 20 years now, and during that time I have had my fair share of experiences including MMF / MFF threesomes and even foursomes with other couples. More to the point I'd say over the years me and my female partners have met a fairly large number of so called "Single Men" and for what it is worth I thought I'd offer my advice and suggestions to those men who are trying to explore this lifestyle. If you a man trying to explore this lifestyle then by all means read this post and perhaps you will improve your chances of success in this lifestyle. What follows is my own personal suggestions to any male trying to get involved with group sex: 1. CHEATING: If you are a man who is cheating on your girlfriend or wife, if your simply looking for some discreet no strings fun behind your partner's back then PLEASE do us swinging couples a favour and simply join a fling/affair based web site online as there are many to chose from. These web sites are sometimes called "Fling Sites / Hook Up Sites / Affair Sites" but they are packed with people who are simply looking for no string discreet sex without needing to involve the issues and complexity of swinging and dealing with couples. Also it is worth noting that on most normal "Dating Sites" there are countless single women who are simply looking for fun, in fact most of the normal everyday dating sites have options that say "Just Looking For Fun / Not Looking For Commitment". In fact there are a lot of women out there who just want to go out and have a good time and get laid, you do NOT need swinging to find someone to cheat with. 2. WOMEN: If your ONLY GOAL as a man is to sleep with new women then again please do swinging couples a favour and simply join a Hook Up Site / Affair Site / Dating Site / Fling Site and find a single women who would like some male company. Please be aware that on swinging sites there are a VERY LIMITED number of single women where on your average dating site there are hundreds if not thousands of women all seeking anything from no strings sex to proper relationships. If all you desire is sex with a women then you don't need swinging to find that. 3. INTRODUCE YOURSELF: If you are still interested in swinging, if you still want to explore the world of threesomes and group sex with couples then when you do contact a couple please make sure to actually "Introduce Yourself". It actually annoys a lot of couples when a man asks them for sex / sexual meetings without even giving their name, without even taking the normal common decency to introduce themselves. Saying "Hello my name is James" takes seconds and it will help couples get to know you better and feel more settled speaking with you. 4. GIVE EVERYDAY DETAILS: When you contact a couple I highly recommend spending a little time describing yourself as a person, for example what hobbies you enjoy / what sports you play / what music you like / what you do for a living / roughly what location you live in / if you smoke or not / if you live alone or with friends, family, partner / what films you like / what you usually get up to on a weekend / if you have any other interests / what games you like. This information will actually help the couple a lot and will often speed up the process. It will not only speed up the process and make a couple feel more at ease with you but will quickly allow couples to see if your a good match for them. 5. FACE / BODY PICTURES: If you contact a couple please make sure you send that couple a recent photo of your face / body, please don't just send them pictures of your penis. If possible send the couple several pictures of your face, and several pictures of your body (not just your penis) and again this will help greatly and speed up the process. 6. READ PROFILE: It does help greatly if you actually read the profile that the couple has written, within that profile are usually details and hints about what that couple is looking for allowing you to see if they would be a good match for you. 7. BISEXUAL: If you look at a couple's profile and it clearly says they are bisexual or looking for other bisexual people then it would help greatly if you are actually bisexual. Please do NOT pretend to be bisexual just to try and sleep with a new women. Like stated above if your only goal is to sleep with a women then simply join one of the other types of web sites that often have far more women on them. If you class yourself as a fully 100% straight male then please make sure that is what the couple is actually looking for. 8. HOMOPHOBIC: If you class yourself as a man who is homophobic, a man who HATES the idea of been near other naked men, who hates the idea of other men seeing them naked, who hates the idea of sharing the same women with another man, a man who is disgusted / angry / paranoid about been around other men in a sexual nature then please do not get involved with swinging with couples that include another man. Simply focus your attention on trying to find a single women or even two women and don't bother trying to meet couples that have a male half. 9. HYGIENE: If your a man wanting to explore this subject then please make sure your own personal hygiene is really good, that means bathing / showering everyday, cutting your nails, trimming pubic hair, shaving unsightly beards or areas, wearing clean unstained clothes, brushing teeth and tongue, wearing clean shoes, washing your hair, cutting or brushing your hair, wearing deodorant, using scents or aftershaves, trimming nose or ear hair, trimming your eyebrows. If you have very good hygiene, in person and on your profile pictures it will help everyone involved. 10. BATH BEFORE MEETING: If you do arrange to meet a couple then please shower or bath shortly before meeting them, do NOT have a shower before work then attend work for 8 hours and expect a couple to meet a stale smelly man. If your going to meet a couple then please shower or bath about 30 minutes before you leave the house to meet them. Having a bath the day before is not good enough, having a bath that morning before work is not good enough, if your meeting someone bath or shower fully just before you leave to meet them. 11. GET CHECKED OUT: If your planning to meet couples for sexual fun then please do everyone a favour and pop to your local sexual clinic and get tested for STD'S / STI'S and make sure you are sexually clean before playing with people. These tests are 100% confidential, they take minutes to achieve if you book an appointment, and at worst you need to have a urine and blood test and you will not only make sure you are safe but will help ensure the safety of people you play with. Remember a lot of countries now class it as illegal, or even attempted murder to knowingly pass on a STD or STI (Sexually Transmitted Disease / Sexually Transmitted Infection) in some cases people are getting heavy prison sentences for spreading such STD'S / STI'S. 12. FRIENDSHIP: Please consider that the couple you are meeting "Might" actually want a normal everyday friendship along with the sexual side, that not every couple are hardcore sex addicted porn stars, in fact the vast majority of couples into this lifestyle are just normal everyday people like me or you. Many couples are not simply here for sex alone but also to have fun social times, to meet new people, chat with new people, make friends with new people, share adventures and experiences with new people. This means they wanted to be treated like human beings not like blow up sex dolls. 13. HOTEL BILL: If a couple agrees to meet you in a hotel for a sexual experience then please put your hand in your pocket and pay for half of the hotel bill. For a couple paying for travel / food / drinks / hotel / child care / can actually be a very expensive thing, just to meet you some couples will have to spend a fortune and it will often help them greatly if your also willing to contribute to some of that cost, even just half the hotel bill will help greatly. 14. FOLLOW THE RULES: Please make sure to ask the couple if they have any rules or boundaries regarding sexual play or meeting you, and make sure to pay attention and keep those rules. You might say rules are there for breaking, but actually a lot of couples have things like mortgages / children / sick family members / debts / not to mention their relationship and future to think about and by breaking the rules you are putting those things in danger and will often be totally outcast by that couple, they may even call the police if the situation is serious enough. 15. KEEP YOUR DISTANCE: Just because a couple agrees to play with you that does NOT MEAN they want you showing up at their home uninvited, that does not mean they want you turning up at their workplace / social hangouts / places of study / hobby locations and so on. If you do turn up at such places uninvited you will not only upset the couple but may land yourself in trouble with the police for stalking. Where couples are concerned I fully suggest calling the police if a man causes you or your life any trouble whatsoever. 16. BE POLITE: It goes without saying but the vast majority of couples are looking for someone to treat them nicely / with decency / and to be friendly and polite. Messaging a new couple and simply asking "Do you want to fuck?" or saying "Does your wife swallow cum?" or even the classic "Does your wife do anal sex?" is NOT being polite, it is not attractive, it is not sensual, and in fact most couples consider it to be rude and thoughtless. Use manners, be polite, be friendly, be honest and open and it will help your chances with couples. 17. ARRIVE ON TIME: If a couple agrees to meet you at 18:00 then make sure you arrive at 18:00 and no later than 18:15. If you are going to be late please message the couple and explain you will be late and see if that is okay. A lot of couples put in a lot of effort into meeting a new person, they not only have to clean themselves, clean the house, and mentally prepare, but they often need to arrange child care, food, drinks, sexual aids and you arriving an hour late can seriously effect those things. 18. DON'T PUSH THINGS: If the couple say they do not like anal sex then don't ask for anal sex. If the couple says they don't like people cumming in their mouths then don't ask to cum in their mouths. If the couple asks you to use condoms then please use condoms. If the couple asks you to take things slow then please take things slow. If you try and push boundaries and ask for things you know the couple doesn't want it will soon put them off you and end the entire situation. 19. HATS / SOCKS / CLOTHING: If your a fan of wearing baseball caps / beanie hats then cool, but that does NOT mean a couple wants to have sex with you whilst your wearing your hat. This is just personal preference but in my opinion you should take off hats, socks, strange items of jewelry or clothing before playing. 20. HAVE TIME: If your planning to meet a couple then please understand you actually need to have THE TIME to meet them. For example a lot of couples will want to speak for a while before playing, they will want to chat, ask questions, make sure rules or boundaries are understood, they might want to have a few drinks before playing meaning you might spend 1 or even 2 hours simply chatting, drinking, mentally preparing before you actually have sex. Please do NOT meet a couple if you only have 40 minutes to spare, if your meeting a new couple for the first 3 or 4 times please make sure you have enough time to chat, relax, have a drink or two (even soft drinks) and have enough time to have sex 1, 2,or even 3 times. Personally speaking as a man I'd not meet a couple unless I had at least 2 or 3 hours to spare. 21. DRINK / DRUGS / SMOKING: I strongly suggest you find out the couple's opinions on such things before you meet them. For example you might drink heavily but the couple you are meeting might not like alcohol at all. You might smoke heavily but the couple you are meeting might not like smoking at all. You might like certain recreational drugs but the couple your meeting might not. Please do NOT turn up at a couples home carrying beer, smokes, drugs unless you already know they are okay with that been in their home / near them. 22. KEEP THE SECRET: If you do meet a couple, if you do explore sexually with them then sure you might want to run off and tell your friends, tell your work mates, tell your best buddy but I can not stress enough how much damage talking to people about this subject can do. If you play with a couple then it is a private matter, they do not want people knowing and please believe me neither do you as a man or else it will come back and bite you in the ass. 23. WRITE A GOOD PROFILE: It helps a lot if you write a good profile for couples to read, most men cannot even write more than 2 or 3 lines but actually it will help couples a lot if you put in some effort with your profile. For example, explain your hobbies, explain your location, explain your body, explain what you are looking for, explain your hygiene standards, explain your sexuality, explain any issues you might have, give couples something to read, let them know more about you and it will help couples to contact you. 24. BE PATIENT: It can take sometime to speak with a couple, ask questions, give answers, arrange to meet, have social meetings, find the time where everyone is free to play. Life for most couples is rather hectic, it involves work, family, friends, cleaning, travelling, cooking, bills, the everyday stresses of life, everything from bad nights sleep to hard days at work and it can take a couple sometime to find the right evening to meet you. Don't expect a couple simply to drop everything and meet you within a minutes notice. 25. BE A GOOD PERSON: Finally I'd say if a couple does trust you enough to meet you for sex then the least you can do is be thankful and respectful of their relationship. Don't try and break them up, don't try and start some secret affair, don't try and stalk the women involved. If you want your own girlfriend or wife then go and find one of the hundreds of dating sites or meet one in person at a bar or work. Please understand if a couple agrees to have sex with you then NO you do not need to steal away the women to get sex, they have already agreed to have sex with you. You don't need to meet the women alone or start stalking anyone, they have already agreed to meet you as a couple. If you want your own wife or girlfriend, if you want an affair, if you simply want to fuck a women then there are loads of women out there without needing to cause a couple any issues. OVERALL: I hope this helps someone, if your a single man and you truly want to explore sex with couples then don't be a pushy sex obsessed clown but instead be a decent person, be honest, be open, offer the couple fun friendship and sex, be clean and polite, respect the rules and you will be the one man they are looking for out of the millions out there.

Hi beautiful people! I am a single male that is trying to shift into the lifestyle. I live in Sweden and I am Italian. I wouldn't define myself as super hot but not ugly either, I would say the regular guy. I have read all the suggestiond here about building a good single man profile ad. I found them very useful however for somebody like me that is not an english native speaker would extremely helpful to have example of what you girls or couple mean. Wording is very important even when the message is the right one the way in which is communicated can be wrong or out of balance and spoil the whole thing. If some of you would post some example or a good bios would help a lot those of us that learn from examples. Let me be clear here, I know that some people will just copy paste those examples (very poor choice is my guess) that wouldn't work, like has been said already, you need to be able to backup your claims with your character, your manners your whole being. A copy paste wouldn't help anybody but few example to build on, to use as guidelines would be very helpful for those who wants to put the effort and earn the beautiful experiences waiting on the other side. Thanks for the help in advance

I'll start. We are a Lifestyle couple. We mostly enjoy foursomes and moresomes. However, my wife is also a 'hotwife', and we are happy to have a respectful single male join us for an MFM threesome; my wife will also 'solo' with a single male from time to time.

1) Don’t be lecherous. 2) There are a zillion single guys out there. Make yourself stand out from the crowd in your profile. Have a complete and well thought-out profile, not just one-sentence answers to the essay questions. Don't get to into the sex acts themselves, tell what you have to bring to the table beside a great tongue and a huge cock. Virtually every profile goes on and on about how they love to give and receive oral. Not original. Be different. Keep it PG-rated and upscale. Also, write your profile in a word processing program and grammar and spell check it, then cut and paste. A quickly written, misspelled, profile with poor grammar says allot about your commitment to the whole deal. Quickly written profiles look like some guy threw it up on Wednesday night because he came across the site while looking at porn, he was über-horny and was hoping to find a couple to get with by Friday. 3) Some are turned-on by cock size and cock shots. Most couples are not. Don't list the size of your dick in your profile. Put a G or PG photo in your profile, head and full body. If a couple is really into the size thing they'll ask you. Otherwise assume that whatever your cock size is, is just fine if they like everything else about you. I think this is a common misconception for single guys wanting to get into the swinging world. They think all that counts is their dick, and couples must be looking for a bigger one then hubby has. Sometimes true, mostly not. Browse some couple profiles and only infrequently will you find the size of the husband's cock listed. Take this as your cue. In most cases its not the cock, it’s the person it’s attached to we’re interested in. 4) Be a paid member of a site. Free members go back the über-horny guy trying to get laid by the weekend. The way we see it, if you are willing to drop the cash to be a paid member, on the remote chance you'll get lucky, you are more serious about pursuing the lifestyle and thus have a better chance with us. 5) Don't mass email a bunch of couples. Yes, we know each other and we compare notes. Before we answer an email from a single male we check with some friends and see if they got an email from him too. If they did, "Sorry, not interested” is the reply. It shows that we weren't special and all the crap about the Mrs. being sexy and hot was just a line of hooky spewed by a horny guy at 1:00 AM. 6) Speaking of that, I would rather see an email from a single guy saying something like "you are an attractive couple and I'd like to get to know you" rather than "she is so hot, I'd like to get with you guys." When I see that I think to myself, “Thanks, I think my wife is hot, too, but I'm not her pimp. I’m as much a part of this as she is. You are not “getting” with my wife, you are “getting” with us.” Once again, “Sorry, no thanks”. 7) Be respectful. It amazes me the stuff a guy will say to us (meaning Mrs. WS) because we are swingers. Stuff he’d never say to a single girl he was trying to pick-up because he’d get shot down if he did. So why does he think it will work with my wife? Yes, we’re in this for sexual fun, but she is my wife, I am her husband. Treat her, and I, with the respect we and our relationship deserve and you might just have the time of your life. 8) Understand your role in the big scheme of things. As much as your fantasy is to get kinky with a couple, their fantasy is a threesome with another male. You are helping them fulfill their fantasies, and in turn they’ll help you fulfill yours. 9) Find the swinger parties in your area and attend them. Not just the naked parties, but meet and greets where nothing is going on but talking. This is one of the best ways to get in. Just be charming and not pushy. We know you want to get laid and we can help you with that if we like you. 10) If you happen to hit it off with a couple, offer to pay at least ½ of the hotel room. It’s always appreciated. Some more rules... Don't sit at the bar all night and not approach a couple and expect to swing with them later in the evening Do approach a couple and introduce yourself early. A sincere compliment to the female goes a long way. (You may get shot down but nothing ventured nothing gained). Don't expect too much on your first meeting with a couple. We meet a single guy who made a sincere compliment to my wife. We wouldn't consider sharing a room on that first meeting but after a second meeting who knows. Do find common interest with the couple. no matter how much of a stud you are people find other people who have similar interest fun to be with. Do be honest and frank (not crude) about what your looking for sexually. We're there for a reason an so are you; were not expecting a choir boy at a swingers club. Just because I smile and say hello, does NOT mean "take me, take me, take me! I want your hot love muscle right now!" When I say "No, thank you" in front of my husband, DO NOT assume I am then going to jump you and f#*k your brains out the minute hubby leaves the general vicinity! NO MEANS NO!!!! On a date, at a dance club, at the grocery store, at a party, OR in a swinger's club! Just because I may occasionally play with someone besides my husband SURE AS HELL does not mean I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU! My body is MINE! DO NOT touch it unless I tell you it's okay to. If, after both my husband and I getting to know you, we decide to include you in OUR sexual play activities, REALIZE this is an extremely RARE PRIVILEGE! And treat it as such! Show us BOTH respect! If we DO decide to play with you, and you do not treat it as the privilege it is, but instead talk about it to everyone else you know, TRUST ME, we will be your LAST swinging partners. No one likes guys who kiss & tell! If, on the other hand, we decide to play with you, and you are every bit as mature and respectful as we hope, and we all have a wonderful time, you can probably look forward to many more good times ahead! Don't think because I have played with you before that you have the right to play with me every time we see each other. Don't flatter yourself. You may not have been that good. Just because I talk to you or dance with you doesn't give you the right to fondle me or touch me or kiss me. Ask first. Be a gentleman. If I invite you to play with me either alone or with myself and my partner, do not think you will be running the show. We play on my terms, by my rules; or we don't play. Use condoms all the time! Or we don't play, no matter how cute or sexy you are! Do not approach only my wife, we are a couple, and since I have final say on who I share her with, it's best to approach me first. Do not tell my wife that you can give her something she has never had before...it can't be done. Do not be possessive with my wife...don't touch, kiss, or fondle her unless she says it's okay to do so. Don't be pushy, we will let you know if we are interested in inviting you to play with us. (Begging is so unattractive, don't you think). Remember she is MY WIFE, not a single female and we are a couple, show respect and be a gentleman. The single male should be polite. - Be able to engage in small-talk with your "date(s)". If it's a couple, the small-talk should include the male as well as the female and her breasts. You have to impress two people in that case. Hold the door open for them if you enter someplace at the same time. If you're sitting down when you meet them, stand up and introduce yourself with a firm handshake. Don't stare lasciviously at the female (and/or male) upon first meeting. You can be flirty, but don't be crude. Take the rules your mother taught you -- or should've taught you -- and apply them very generously. The single male should be clean. - Shower before a potential meeting. Use deodorant. Smell good but not overpowering. Make sure the nose and ear-hairs -- and other areas if necessary or desired -- are trimmed. Have the hair washed and clean and in an attractive style for you. If you're bald and/or balding, make sure things look good in that area (although I've heard that some women prefer a day or two's growth if they get a dome-ride). The single male should dress appropriately for the occasion. - Gauge the situation and dress appropriately. If you're invited to a swing biker rally or a swinger nudist resort, then dress down or not at all. If you go to a club -- outside of theme nights -- dress to the high-end of the local standard. If you look better than the local competition, then that's a plus. If there's a theme night, it's best to at least meet the theme halfway...it shows that you're a good sport. Women focus on shoes...unless you're in costume and it requires something different, make sure your shoes are at least in presentable condition, if not polished to a high gloss. The single male should live up to his promises. - If you commit to meeting the swinging couple or single female, then make sure you are there on time. If you have promised the amazing tongue or the long-lasting boner and/or the big cock and/or the special technique, then you better come through with any or all of those. You might get a second-chance with some folks, but word gets around... I'm a single male, how can I get involved in the lifestyle? With Luck. As a single male, if you do manage to get involved in the lifestyle then it is a privilege and requires the utmost in discretion. There are couples out there who are looking for single males, those are the ads you should answer. Don't answer ads that aren't looking for single males. If you are good-looking, clean, honest & discrete you will have the best chance. Something else that will help you is if you can get a girlfriend that is willing to swing with you, then you would be a couple. Many couples look at it as "if he can't even get a girlfriend, why would we want him?" There are couples out there that are looking for single men. Guys that are open and honest and not just out looking for an easy lay will have the best chance at being accepted by these couples. I suggest that if you really want to get involved in the lifestyle you try contacting couples in your area that are seeking single men, and let them know that you are interested. There are many tips throughout the Swingers Board to help you in how to respond to an ad as well as in placing your own. However you will probably have a much better chance by responding to other people's ads. There are many sites out there with swingers personals and you should check out the various ones as different people place ads on different ones. You can find a list of many of them on the Swingers Board links page. You should also check the club listings for swinger clubs in your area that accept single males. Please do not consider trying to get into the swinging lifestyle if you think this will be an easy way for you to get laid. That is not what this is about. This is about couples enjoying their sexual fantasies with other people that can not be acted out with just the two of them. Since there are many couples that desire MFM 3-somes or where the husband enjoys seeing his wife with another male there is a place for single males in this lifestyle, as long as the single male in question realizes what it is.

No, this isn't a bashing thread about them... Our first experience into the Lifestyle was with a single male. Loved our experience, so much so, we played with him on numerous occasions. That experience was over 7 years ago, and he left the Lifestyle and got married. Now we are having a hard time finding dependable guys. As I (the female) have gotten older, I've noticed that I tend to attract younger guys... ages ranging from 22 to early 30's. But my question is, why do younger guys like older women? I have gotten over the weirded out factor, we have a son that is 19 and he has to tell his friends to quit checking out his mom

Here is a question that I have! Why are single men so outed in this lifestyle? I have seen alot of couples that say NO WAY to single men! I was just curious about this thanks!

A question about "players" on the swinging scene... We know that swinging (for most people) is mostly about the sex and enjoyment, so with sex being obvious end goal we didn't really expect to be finding what one might call a "player" in the traditional dating sense of the term. Background on us, we have been exploring the swing scene for about 2-3 months with a soft swing our only direct experience. Have currant rule of only playing together & safe sex (condom with pen). Ms looking4fun was chatting on a swing chat site with a guy a who invites her to chat via skype, she agrees. Things proceed for a couple of days seemingly innocuous chat where he claims to be inexperienced and shy, but they seem to have a lot in common so they keep chatting. Then things turn a bit riskier. He admits he has had previous swing experience (contrary to the image he put forward earlier of being shy and inexperienced) where he played solo with a female a couple of times before her partner joined as well. He then prompts ms looking4fun that he would like to play alone with her as he would feel awkward playing as a threesome if he hadn't had sex with her as couple first (knowing we only play together). Later protection comes up. She says our condoms-only rule and he states he doesn't like condoms, they always break etc. and it would be so sexy to cum inside her without one. This has got my alarm bells going a bit. While I still think it might be worth meeting him in person with the possibility of a threesome kept in place if he agrees with our rules, I'm not 100% certain how to handle his attempted manipulation.

We always read the posting of "eternallysingle" and "curiousagain" for their thoughts on being single in the swinging world. As we are mainly MFM swingers their input has been a great help. Now I have a question specifically for the single men that visit here. Couples, if you have had similar expierences or have something to contribute please do so also. Scenario: You are a single male that is expierenced in the lifestyle and have played with (more than once) and are comfortable with a couple. He contacts you and explains that the wife has a fantasy of playing with more than two men at once. He asks if you know someone that would be interested in joining the current MFM "relationship" you now share. Question: How would you respond to this request? Would you be offended or honored to be trusted enough to pick a potential playmate? Can you think of a better way to word the request without it sounding so much like he's looking to buy cattle? I haven't done this yet because everyway I have tried to pharase the request it came out sounding like I was a desperate husband trying to find a hooker in a strange town on a Saturday night.

I know some think single swinging males can be a little... well, too horny, creepy, or desperate. Personally, if you enjoy using a single male in your swinging life, what arouses you about them? Do you enjoy using them as a piece of meat for your pleasure? I've been in threesomes with couples and enjoyed being seen as only another cock to use and play with. It seems that was the thing they wanted most from me. Sometimes they only wanted me to watch and masturbate to them.

So we are new to swinging for the most part. We've had some experiences in private with other males and females. We are very interested in going to a swingers club but also nervous at the same time. My husband is worried about boundaries being respected and possibly pushy men. We are a secure couple so that's not the issue, we just don't want to deal with that type of behavior. Is this a problem we might run into?

Maybe because it is the climate we live in, here in northern Australia (i.e. tropical) but a good number of our swinging friends are naturists/nudists, as indeed we are. The freedom of enjoying the outdoors sans clothing has certainly enhanced our swinging experience; we have met several couples and singles at our local (legal) free beach, sometimes engaging in activity right there at the beach or in the bush which backs our beach. Or we go home with our new friends. The only problem is, like at so many nudist beaches, is the large number of men who seem to be voyeurs. They are not even nudists, but they are seen hiding behind trees clothed but with exposed genitals. We have swung with guys we have met at the beach but only those who are nudists and whom we have approached. Only once have we accepted an offer from a single male who has approached us.

As a couple we enjoy MMF. I enjoy sharing her pleasure, I am not Bi and the choice of guy is always hers. I don't know if it could be called her fantasy but what she feels safest doing is meeting up with a potential male playmate at a lifestyle club, we have partied at the Red Rooster Club Las Vegas many times. We have had a couple of successful experiences but not many.In fact our first MMF experience was at the Red Rooster. The type of guy she looks for is one who is respectful to her, dressed nice, and of course clean. Many times there are single guys who would be perfect, but their approach takes them from what could be a great evening to no way in hell. Although she is not looking to fall in love, she still wants to have somewhat of a connection. She is quite hot and our experience has been if she is left alone single guys surround her like a pack of dogs in heat. Not so bad except they act like dogs in heat also. She gets lines like "I would sure like to have a piece of that", "Can I have sex with you" etc etc. One guy said "I would sure like to see what those tits look like" or some guy will leer at her while whacking off in his pants. I am not saying she does not like this kind of talk, but not as an opening line. These lines may well work if a guy shows her some respect maybe takes the time to meet her have a bit of a conversation, flirt with her in a respectful way. I can not count the number of times that from across the room she has made eye contact with a guy who interests her only to have the guy come over and make some crude comment about her tits or ass or what he wants to do to her. Come on guys this is a total stranger you are making these comment too. Do you really think walking up to a woman anywhere and making those comments that you are going to score...maybe 1 in 100. Not all single guys are like this but it seems there are more then there should be.The times we has connected with a guy who knows how to treat a lady the evening as been amazing. These are ladies, wives, moms, etc they are not hookers. For me this is disappointing, I miss out on a potentially fun evening. If only these guys knew how many times a different approach would have provided them an unforgettable evening. After my long rant, my question: Do other couples feel this way or is it just something we are doing wrong? Are our expectations too high?

A single guy contacted us. Nice enough note, said he read our profile, thought we had things in common... so I wrote back, let's exchange photos and chat. He replied asking if we always play as a couple? Here's the thing. We don't always play together, but I don't want a single guy who is looking for one on one with me and might be willing to have a threesome if that means he can eventually get me alone. I feel like it's almost rude/poor judgement of him to ask about one on one when our profile makes no mention of playing separately. But, then I think, at least he's being open and it never hurts to ask. I simply replied that we like to play together. Should I talk to him further or just drop it? Do you think it's poor protocol to ask about one on one before you've even met?

I have been to a couple of house parties, and after watching awhile I can't help but to masturbate. I love being watched and most everyone is nude at that time including me. How do you feel about seeing a single guy naked and masturbating? Thanks and LOVE this site!!

Hey everyone. I posted an introductory thread years ago I think, back when I was married. I've always wanted to be involved in a mfm threesome but it never happened for us and eventually it ended in divorce. Well flash forward to a year later: I'm single, almost finished school, and playing in a rock band all over the south. I've kinda gotten my groove back with the ladies recently and things are going great. I entertained the mfm threesome experience over the past year since the divorce but I knew I wasn't ready yet; I had so many other things going on... Last night, I randomly decided to search craigslist for couples, responding to two that I liked but expecting nothing. One couple liked my pics and responded with the husband's cell phone number. Earlier this evening I had a very long text conversation with the wife (while the husband sat next to her). It went very well and there was a definite attraction. We even agreed that they would come out to one of my shows in two weeks so we can meet, with the possibility of splitting the cost of a hotel room that night if all goes well. There is a single possible caveat, however... The husband is interested in bi-oral play, though it will be limited to only that, with no male-male kissing or penetration of any kind. I don't find myself particularly attracted to men, aside from every now and then when I'll notice and think, "Wow that dude's really good-looking... Wish i was that good-looking." Never do these thoughts go any further than that. Still, I've always had the fantasy of being a participant in a mfm threesome. I've watched porn where the guys' cocks touch (dual blowjobs and such) and always thought it was really hot - as long as the woman is also involved. If the couple is willing, I also would like to try DP - double vaginal especially. I don't think I could manage to give or receive a direct BJ with a guy, yet I'm pretty sure I'd be okay with sucking him off if the wife was doing it with me. Running my tongue against her tongue on his cock is likely the only way I can actually do it, I think... And I guess I have to find out if they're okay with that. Ultimately, it would have to be about getting caught in the moment, I guess, but I'm 99% sure that I will go through with it. I suppose I'm using these forums as a means of expressing my anxieties about it, but I'm really really REALLY excited about it still. After we finished our conversation, I actually looked up some dual BJ porn and came so hard my ears were ringing. I don't really use porn since I've been having pretty good luck with the ladies, but that orgasm was one of the most intense I've had in a long time. That's got to say something... Thanks for reading this rather lengthy post. I've read all the advice forums, but any extra input is welcomed! I'll post updates as the situation develops.

There is a lot of talk about what couples expect out of singles. I'd like to hear what singles expect (or need) out of couples? Male or Female, singles what things do couples do that make you feel less than comfortable? How do you want to be treated vs how you generally are treated?

I really want to go on a swingers cruise. Thing is...I'm a single male. Are there any cruises or resorts you could recommend that aren't totally couples oriented?

Hello, I am an Indian Single male living in US, who is very interested in Swinging and Nudism. For the past 1 year I have been following swingersboard forums and its been very insightful and helpful. Its great to see there are lot of swingers and their opinions on various issues. Now lets come to my question/concern, I have tried reaching few people through different swingers site but almost everybody says there are not into singles especially Asians/Indians . I would like to know will there be any chance for me to enjoy the feeling of being a swinger? I dont have a girl friend now and my previous gf was not interested in swinging . I find myself in a dead-end and sometimes think, may be swinging is not for me or I am not as lucky as others here. Any suggestions will be helpful. I would like to make it clear, I am not looking at swingers as a way of getting free sex, I have lot of respect for that community and would love to be a part of that society. Can anybody in this forum help me how to find information on how to visit an on-site/off-site swing club just to feel the atmosphere, as I cant go alone? . If I could some personal intro with some of you members I will be very happy.