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Showing results for tags 'solo play'.
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I am a married white female who has been dating a black man for four months now. Our relationship is purely sexual and my husband knows about the whole thing and thinks of it as a turn on. My boyfriend joins my husband and I for a threesome once or twice per month, but for the most part I spend time with him alone. My husband loves for me to bring him home the evidence and listen to my account of what happened when I was out. I was just wondering if there are any other couples out there who have similar arrangements within their relationships. If there are, I would love to talk about our fun.
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So after almost 2 years of my wife being in the lifestyle we ran across some bad experiences and more common than not couples where we aren't fully compatible. So we brought up the idea of solo play one evening and how it would work and if there were any "rules" other than communicating before hand. you know, the usual stuff that all normal couples discuss in the lifestyle. Well the next day my wife approaches me to tell me a few things. That she has a man that she is interested in playing with and that she has known him for over 10 years and before we met that they used to fuck regularly. She was single but he always had girlfriends that he could not stay faithful to. She had stayed in contact with him through social media and runs into him from time to time in public where he always asks if they are ever going to fuck again. She has always turned him down. This I know. But now that we have opened the door to solo play she would like to play with him because of familiarity and she feels safe. So after more discussion I agreed that it was okay. I would like to play solo as well but has not seemed to work out because the female either flakes out or doesn't believe that I have permission from the wife. The following week while she had the week off she texts me to say "He called me to see if I could come over is that alright?". I could not really refuse since I already signed off on the idea but did not expect it to happen so quickly. I feel like I had agreed to a situation where she wanted to see this man for a long time and it was just a matter getting me onboard or okay with it. They spent day together breakfast, then to his house until late in the afternoon. The idea of her being with someone else does not bother me. We've played numerous times with many couples. I have a few things that make me uneasy about this arrangement. I was first upset that it happened so quickly. I stated to her that I felt like she should have called me or talked about it before I left for work. It felt too convenient that he contacted her 5 minutes after I got to the office and a text to me felt very impersonal especially for our first encounter that was solo play. Additionally, he is not in the lifestyle. He has a girlfriend that is unaware of the situation. So he is cheating. As I said before they have known each other for over a decade and have had a casual sexual relationship in the past. Am I just being jealous that every time I am away from the house and they both have the same day off, which is every week, that they are spending the day together. We talked that solo play would only be a once a month thing and that we would sort of schedule it days ahead like a date. This felt like more of a booty call or that it was planned ahead of time without me knowing. And am I jealous that with my schedule solo play is difficult for me and that when I am home she is home too. So I would have to leave her home while I go on a date versus playing with someone while my wife is at work.
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( as of October 5th, we will no longer be newbies and offically will be at the 2year mark of being in the LS, so I will refrain from using the "Newbie needs ...." title in the postings lol) Good Morning / Day all! So my topic for today: People and their Hidden Agendas, or why can't people in the LS just state what they want? So last night was our first test of seeing if we could do play solo, as the wife had a date with BF of a couple that she had interest in for a while. They have been talking through FB Messenger, and hit it off well. So, Yesterday they planned a date by were she would go to his place ( about an hour away), cook dinner for her, and he would let her shoot guns on his property. Then if they felt like it go dancing later on. So we set our rules and discussed with the BF: no drinking for her ( as she is terrible at night driving and drinking and driving for her at night has had bad consequences) and that we are condom mandatory. Call first if plans change or fall through, call or text upon arrival and departure. He lives in rural part of the state about an hour from us, and about an hour from Tulsa, the next big city. So the Mrs. goes out and has the date, leaving around 1pm yesterday. She texts her arrival about an hour later, all good. Around midnight I check Find My and it says she has gone to Tulsa. So i figured they must have went dancing as sure there are Dance clubs in Tulsa. About 4am the wife finally makes it back home. Mind you she did text when she was on her way, so no worries. I asked if she was ok to drive she said sure. Upon arrival at home I ask her to unpack the date and tell what went on, just checking in. So: She lets me know that the date started as planned, that they had shot the guns and then he made her dinner. They talked and discussed lifestyle stuff and experiences. Since they had walked the length of his property she decided to take a shower to get cleaned up and that led to afterwards her getting a massage from him, which led to them having play time. He didn't abide by our Condom Mandatory rule, and she didn't do a Condom Check, as she said " i got lost in the moment". As they were having dinner later, the girlfriend of the BF shows up. Well we both know that the GF leans heavily Bi-sexual, and is quite known for "hunting" girls within our circle of LS friends. So the GF suggest rather than going dancing, that the three of them go with another lady friend of hers to an LS Club. So they all four go to an LS club. The GF tells them "oh this club is known for Girl Gangbangs and we should see one tonight". So they go to the club and my MRS, who's never seen a Girl GangBang is intrigued. So they end up meeting a few other LS female friends from our circle, & the Group goes into a playroom. Well according to the MRS., the BF and her start playing, and then it ends with the BF leaving the MRS in the playroom with the other ladies and she ends up in the Girl Gangbang as a participant! So, of course when I finish hearing the story, my only and one reaction is: Why did they have to lie? Why not just tell you that was their agenda from the beginning? the MRS of course is appalled at my reaction, and doesn't believe they intended to enact this from the beginning. And yet all the signs to me are there.... My question for the group is three fold: 1. My gut says this is what it was. Am I wrong in thinking this? 2. How far do I push this in the fact that rules were broken, and how, if i should, spread the blame on this one? 3. What should I do as far as the LS friends? Cut them off? Out them for their behavior? Just never see them again. This LS stuff will drive you crazy if you let it...... -
So, I may have opened up a can of worms, I'm not sure yet...My husband and I have dabbled in going out solo here and there but only with established partners of couples we have played with. A few months ago he was approached by a female at his work who has flirted and shown interest (customer not coworker). He mentioned right away that he is married with kids, which eventually led to the, "I wish you weren't married." After a few encounters, and sharing with me, I told him to tell her about the LS and that he has his wife's consent to go out with no expectations except to feel it out and have fun. They went out. I ended up sending him a full hall pass halfway through his date. He was completely honest with her and explained our boundaries, and how we operate as a couple and he showed her the text. They ended going back to her place and had a great night. Awesome! They both had an amazing time and I was cool with it. Now for the tricky part...because she is not in the LS and had never really known anything about it, she is extremely vanilla and weirded out about the idea of meeting me. She doesn't want to feel judged, which I totally get. I definitely don't want to do that! I just want to meet her and have an honest conversation and to talk to her openly about separation of sex and friendship. I want to get a feel as to whether it is an ok idea to endorse them going on dates (they both want another) or whether this is going to turn into her creating more of a boyfriend experience. I'm not 100% comfortable with this idea, although I can't pinpoint why. I don't feel threatened or truly jealous, but I am worried about turning jealous because she sees him every day at work and brought him cookies, if that makes sense. (*fuck my husband all you want, but bringing him cookies makes me feel weird...ha, the irony!!!) Given everything I have shared, can you folks help me figure out risk/ reward here? Have you had similar experiences or concerns? How did you deal with it? A little bit about us: We have been in the LS for 3.5 years and still learning, but have been together over 20 years and have a solid and communicative relationship. We talk about EVERYTHING! (Aside from play by plays of fun...unless asked)
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So my wife and have been in the swinging lifestyle for a little over a year and have a few regular friends of many varieties of fetishes. One friend has been visiting for the week and travels home soon. He is a favorite friend and has great chemistry with both of us. Generally, with him I prefer to watch her with him. He fucks her so good. She moans and moans, eyes rolling back. Occasionally I like to give them some alone time and will go to hotel parking lot for awhile. I have no discomfort in this. It’s been our way for a few years. She enjoys him and him her. I can afford them a little more freedom to let go without worrying I’m ok. This a wonderful gift. My wife adores me so after this. I bask in every glorious thrust. This my favorite part -to watch in the beginning and then go to the parking lot. I don’t even think or wonder what is happening. Seen it a hundred times. Well on this visit out friend was here all week and would be gone for over a year. Wifey asked for a five night fanfare for farewell. On the fifth evening I drove to to hotel and carried out stuff to the room I grabbed my gear and gave them the room for an hour or so. I have never been bothered before. Well of course a little trepidation in the beginning but until trust was developed. After a few months I began the parking lot dash. I’m sitting here nervous as hell, trembling. Fearful. What the fuck is this. No specific thoughts or ideas. I was spinning. Waiting for her. Watching the clock. I have done this with my wife and friend for years no problem. Now I remember a tremble of nervousness as I showered for the night and some anxiety in traffic on the journey. It was agony watching the number turn on the clock. We have a rule. If one partner feels odd the game is off, but they were only gonna feel a few more minutes. Longest damned minutes of my life. And then came the wife, messy hair and smiles. Eyes gleaming. Thank God. We drove off for home. As we always do my wife relayed every touch, tug and twist to me. Beaming at each thrust. She was as usual overjoyed with love for me. It didn’t settle my stomach. We always take some time together to bind after and she dozed as I held her. I found tears running down my cheeks. I don’t have any one feeling or thought or anything. I don’t feel any difference from my wife. I shared the moments with her as she woke and she held me and comforted me. Taking care of me. This has been the most passionate moment between us in many years. Cleansing. We have decided to keep together for visits now and may try again soon. I can’t even begin to understand what happened. Has anyone had a similar experiences and what are they.
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The wife and I are exploring the hall pass end of the lifestyle, but finding people has proven difficult. There is a small tag on a Kasidie account that indicates this, but few people check it. I couldn't find anything similar with SLS. Clubs? Parties? Just ask people?
